Ep.58 | In The Telling We Do Not Die with Risa Shaw

In this compelling episode, host Nancy Morris dives into a profound discussion with Dr. Risa Shaw, a trailblazer in the study of sibling sexual abuse (SSA). The episode centers around Risa's influential book, *Not Child's Play: An Anthology on Brother-Sister Incest*, and the transformative power of speaking out against abuse. Together, they uncover the societal stigma that shrouds SSA, the importance of sharing survivor stories, and the ongoing impact of these narratives on reducing isolation and fostering healing.

 

Risa recounts the painstaking journey behind creating her anthology, which spans from its initial concept in 2000 to its updated second edition. The conversation extends to highlight the benefits and challenges of disclosure, emphasizing that speaking up is a highly transformative act that offers profound personal healing. They also share poignant stories from the book, notably those of Marian and Dorothy, sisters who only found the courage to speak about their abuse in their later years, showing that it's never too late to break the silence. This episode is a beacon for anyone seeking understanding or grappling with the difficulties of SSA.

 

About Risa:

Dr. Risa Shaw is a survivor of brother-sister incest. In her new preface of the second edition of Not Child's Play, she reveals the power of 40 years of truth-telling to address the abuse, shame, self-blame, self-hatred, and damage done not only to her, but to every survivor of sibling incest. Risa has never shied away from the challenge of telling truth to power and she intentionally finds ways to center and amplify the voices of those silenced by oppression and violence. She is an educator, leader, and activist, living her life outloud for nearly 45 years in the Washington, D.C. area. Risa shares her life with her wife of 37 years and a large beloved community. With the first edition of Not Child's Play in 2000 and now the publication of a second edition with a new Preface, Foreword, and Afterword, Risa has translated decades of hard, brave, and meaningful work into a means of healing both for herself and for her readers.

 

Key Takeaways:

 

*   Importance of Speaking Out: Sharing one's story of sibling sexual abuse is a transformative act that reduces isolation and opens the door to healing.

*   Impact of Risa's Work: Dr. Shaw's book *Not Child's Play* remains pivotal in the discourse around SSA, being the only anthology of first-person accounts.

*   Generational Effects: Disclosing and addressing SSA can positively affect subsequent generations, promoting awareness and prevention.

*   Challenges of Disclosure: Survivors face societal and familial pushback, but overcoming these challenges leads to significant personal growth and empowerment.

*   Continued Advocacy: The ongoing conversation and research into SSA are essential for changing societal attitudes and supporting survivors.

 

Notable Quotes:

 

1.  "Speaking out was a transformative act; it changed their lives."

2.  "By speaking up, we're not only doing it for ourselves, we're also doing it for everybody else in the family and in society."

3.  "You can start by telling your story to a piece of paper or your teddy bear – just get it out."

4.  "Bravery is contagious and speaking out leads to joy."

5.  "Reading and giving people the book shows them that we need to talk about sibling sexual abuse. We have to believe the children."

 

Resources:

 

*   Not Child's Play: An Anthology on Brother-Sister Incest (http://notchildsplaybook.com) - Official website to buy the book and learn more about Risa Shaw.

*   Risa Shaw's Facebook Page (https://www.facebook.com/risashawnotchildsplay) - Follow for updates on her work and advocacy.

*   Risa Shaw's Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/notchildsplayanthology) - Stay connected and informed through visual storytelling and updates.

*   Computer-generated transcript -https://drive.google.com/file/d/1dSQfVDHDFlGOY0spIpXgENBaOg1NklXM/view?usp=sharing

 

Chapters

 

0:00

Exploring Sibling Sexual Abuse Through Stories and Research

 

4:49

The Importance of Storytelling in Understanding and Preventing SSA

 

7:55

The Journey of Sharing and Understanding Sibling Sexual Abuse

 

10:50

The Power and Pain of Speaking Up About Abuse

 

14:41

Breaking the Silence on Family and Societal Trauma

 

17:52

Teaching Consent and Boundaries Through Interactive Activities

 

18:47

The Transformative Power of Speaking Out Against Abuse

 

26:14

Understanding Power Dynamics in Relationships and Society

 

27:41

The Power of Sharing and Releasing Family Secrets

 

34:20

Marian and Dorothy's Lifelong Journey of Healing and Connection

 

38:53

The Impact of Sibling Sexual Abuse and the Importance of Disclosure

 

44:22

Healing Through Storytelling and Personal Growth

 

47:57

The Transformative Power of Speaking Out and Sharing Stories

 

 

Listen to this valuable episode to gain deeper insights into sibling sexual abuse, the importance of storytelling, and how courage can spark system change. Stay tuned for more thought-provoking content from the #SiblingsToo podcast.