"I'm Not Responsible for How You Feel": How Melissa Stood Her Ground With an Intimidating Executive and Changed Their Relationship Forever
Speak Your Mind Unapologetically Podcast
Release Date: 04/17/2026
She Spent Five Weeks Getting Stonewalled Before Landing One Lunch. By the Time the Hiring Manager Called, Three People Had Already Been Talking About Her. Equifax SVP D'Lovely on Networking That Produces Results
Speak Your Mind Unapologetically Podcast
She Stopped Leading With Her Title and Started Saying "I'm a Technology and Business Diplomat." People Immediately Wanted to Know More. Equifax SVP D'Lovely on Networking, Personal Boards, and Career Infrastructure She was laid off twice. Both times, by the time the hiring manager called her, three or four people at the company had already been talking about her. Not because she got lucky. Because she had spent months having breakfasts, following up on cold contacts, asking questions instead of pitching, and making it easy for people to pass her name along. One of those contacts had been on...
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She Names the Three People Who Changed Her Career and Exactly What Each One Gave Her. Director and Venture Partner Nancy on Building Your Personal Board of Directors
Speak Your Mind Unapologetically Podcast
She credits three people with transforming her career trajectory at AWS and beyond. Tatiana got her into AWS. Wayne sponsored her advancement within it. Dan helped her break into venture capital as a partner at Felicis Ventures. She did not stumble into these relationships. She built them intentionally, maintained them with discipline, and gave back at every stage — even when what she could give seemed small compared to what she was receiving. Nancy was Director and General Manager at AWS Data Protection when this episode was recorded. She has since been promoted to CTO. She is also the...
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A Junior Employee Publicly Questioned Whether She Was Being Overpaid. She Stood Up and Said: "I Believe I Am Appropriately Compensated." Dr. Monique, CIO at Cal State Chico, on Advocacy, Bias, and Leading With Confidence
Speak Your Mind Unapologetically Podcast
She came to the United States from Cameroon almost 30 years ago with a master's degree in education, almost no exposure to computers, and a goal to pursue a doctorate. Her two sisters, both already in IT careers, redirected her. She thought she could never succeed in the field. She became an IT help desk worker. Then a network administrator. Then an IT manager. Then a director. Then a CIO. Then a COO in Spain. Then a Chief Technology and Innovation Officer. Then a Vice President and CIO at a California State University. Her PhD — the original goal from 1995 — she completed in 2019....
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Before Accepting the Offer, She Asked to Meet Her Manager's Manager. It Could Have Cost Her the Role. Coverys CITO Saadia on Courage, Bias, and Bold Career Moves
Speak Your Mind Unapologetically Podcast
Her Peer Kept Misattributing Statements to Her Team. She Let It Slide Once. The Second Time She Confronted Her Directly. She had a verbal offer within four days. They were eager. Before she accepted, she called HR and said: "Before I accept, I want to speak with my manager's manager." That request could have cost her the role entirely. She had already weighed it: if they say no, that tells me everything I need to know about this culture. If they say yes, I make a more informed decision. Within 24 hours, the executive cleared his calendar during a conference lunch and took a 30-minute call. He...
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"There Is Only One Reliable Advocate You Will Always Have — Yourself." How Harley-Davidson's Head of Motorcycle Strategy Ashwini Built Her Career Without a Long-Term Sponsor
Speak Your Mind Unapologetically Podcast
She Told Her Director "Your Actions Don't Support That Opinion." He Apologized. Harley-Davidson's Ashwini on Self-Advocacy, Disrespect, and Owning Your Career She had a new director who made every interaction feel disrespectful — no matter the topic, no matter how well she was performing. It wasn't the work. It was the treatment. She hit her limit, went to her manager, and said: "There are only two paths. I have a crucial conversation with the director, or we go different directions." The meeting was scheduled. She opened by asking the director directly what he thought of her work. He...
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"If You Don't Tell Us What You Want, We Can't Help You Get There." VP Erika on Breaking Out of People-Pleasing and Advocating for Your Career
Speak Your Mind Unapologetically Podcast
She Won a 40 Under 40 Award and Kept It Private. It Took Her 12 Years to Say Out Loud She Wanted to Be an Executive. People2.0 VP Erika on Self-Advocacy for People Pleasers She received the SIA 40 Under 40 award. It was a big deal. And she kept it almost entirely to herself. She didn't know how to celebrate it externally without coming across as cocky. She treated it like a private accomplishment. Then she called her former leaders Kip Wright and Sunny Ackerman for advice on how to own it and talk about it. Their response changed how she thinks about her entire career: "Erika, if you don't...
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She Didn't Know Who to Pitch Her Idea To, So She Pitched Everyone. How an AWS Leader Built Alliances and Attracted a Sponsor by Talking to Anyone Who Would Listen
Speak Your Mind Unapologetically Podcast
She Moved to the US with $800, Changed Her Name to Fit In, and Built a Career at Merck, Oracle, Tableau, and Amazon. Helen on Going From Terrified to Outspoken Her legal name is Hongyi, which means "the water is deep and wide." When she moved to the United States from China, she changed it to Helen so people could pronounce it more easily. She arrived with $800. She was terrified. At grad school, she barely had to speak. Then she entered the workforce. Her first significant feedback at Merck: "You need to improve your communication." She was too intimidated to ask what that meant. So she...
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Speaking Up Doesn't Have to Be Heroic: How PVH VP Shatabdi Uses Small Moments of Courage to Shape Cultures, Careers, and Global Teams
Speak Your Mind Unapologetically Podcast
She Asked Her CIO for a New Challenge at Lunch. Got a "Poison Chalice" Role. Flew to Japan in December 2019. Beat COVID by Three Weeks. PVH VP Shatabdi on Small Acts of Courage With Big Consequences. At a lunch with her CIO, she asked a simple question: "Is there a specific role where you need help? I'm ready to take a new challenge, even change my domain completely." The answer was an invitation to lead PVH's global SAP/ERP transformation across Japan, Hong Kong, Taiwan, China, and North America. She had no team in Asia Pacific. She had less than two months to build one remotely from the...
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On Her First Day, They Dismissed Her Idea. Six Months Later, She Had the Budget, the Buy-In, and a Legacy That Outlasted an Acquisition. CHRO Deepashri on Getting Your Ideas Heard
Speak Your Mind Unapologetically Podcast
He Interrupted Her Mid-Sentence and Said "I Don't Agree." She Asked: "How Many Recruitment Drives Have You Led?" CHRO Deepashri on Standing Your Ground It was her first day in a new role. The leadership team was deep into planning the launch of a major production system. She raised her hand and asked: "What about the people strategy?" Everyone looked at her like she was speaking a different language. "What does people have to do with this? It's a manufacturing system." She asked again. Still dismissed. Still polite. Still ignored. She could have let it go. Instead, she spent six months...
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She Trembled for 60 Minutes Straight in Front of 60 Students. She Went Back the Next Day. Thomson Reuters CTO Anuradha on Facing Fear and Disrupting Yourself First
Speak Your Mind Unapologetically Podcast
Disrupt Yourself Before Someone Else Does: How Thomson Reuters CTO Anuradha Turned Fear, Bias, and Discomfort Into Career Fuel She grew up in a small town in India, first daughter in a middle-class family, educated in her mother tongue through 10th grade. She was culturally trained to listen more and speak less. Then she accepted a role as an assistant professor straight out of university, in front of 60 students, because she needed a job and couldn't say no to an opportunity. She showed up for her first class and trembled for the entire 60 minutes. She didn't quit. She went back. She sat in...
info_outlineSixteen years later, she still tells this story. She was called into the office of a 6'4" senior executive she barely knew. He sat with his back to the door and said: "You will either make me a very happy man or a very unhappy man." Something in her snapped. She replied: "I was always told I'm not responsible for how other people feel." He slowly turned his chair around with a smile on his face. That one moment became the foundation of a decade-long mentorship.
Melissa is Executive Director and Chief Privacy Officer at Kodiak Solutions, and she's spent her career learning, sometimes the hard way, what it actually means to hold onto your personal power when the professional stakes are high.
In this episode, she breaks down the real moments that tested her, and the specific tools she built to handle them.
You'll learn:
- What "giving away your personal power" actually means, and how to catch yourself doing it before it costs you
- What Melissa said to a senior executive that instantly shifted how he saw her, and why most people would have responded the opposite way
- How she handled a new boss who made every conversation feel like an interrogation, and the scripting technique that got her through it without losing her composure or her job
- Why a mentor told her "if you're going to swim with sharks, you need to thicken your skin", and what that actually means for women moving into senior leadership
- How to stop taking feedback personally when your whole identity has been built around being the A student
- The self-awareness practice that tells you when to speak up and when holding back is the smarter move
If you've ever left a difficult conversation beating yourself up, questioning your own judgment, or wondering why you didn't say what you meant, this episode gives you the tools to stop that pattern.
About Melissa: Executive Director and Chief Privacy Officer at Kodiak Solutions, Melissa brings decades of experience in technology and healthcare leadership. She is an active mentor to early-career women in tech and a champion of honest, values-driven leadership.
How to Reclaim Your Personal Power When Authority Figures Try to Diminish You