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115. S9 E10: An outcast in thick armour: from not fitting in to finding autistic pride and community

Release Date: 03/23/2024

141 [Bonus] A deeper dive into our experiences and attitudes around AuDHD - with Sam Brown (AKA Mrs AuDHD)

The Squarepeg Podcast

After the Season 10 episode with Sam Brown, AKA Mrs AuDHD, was released in the summer, a lovely listener got in touch to share their feelings about being disappointed by some of the comments Sam and I made about how we felt about having ADHD. Sam and I thought it was worth discussing our responses and reflections to the email, as it raised some really interesting questions around internalised ableism, and where any unconscious negative bias may have come from. This is our unedited conversation about it. If you missed the original episode with Sam, you might want to listen to that first -...

140 [S10 E12] Working with autism, not against: Mental health, masking and giving ourselves grace

The Squarepeg Podcast

Kara Nash is a registered nurse and autism consultant who focuses on creating positive change in how the healthcare system treats people on the spectrum. Kara has over twenty years’ experience working in the field of autism and mental health. Now 50, she was diagnosed autistic herself at 37. During her career Kara has supported autistic people across the lifespan in hospitals, residential programs, schools, and community settings, and she now runs a private consulting practice in Western North Carolina. She is also a public speaker, writer, and educator, creating practical...

139 [S10 E11] Creating space to show up without shrinking: how we can thrive at work as autistics

The Squarepeg Podcast

Hassani Turner is an executive coach for neurodivergent professionals and the founder of MyNeuroCompass, a coaching service and app that helps neurodivergent people understand how their brains work, identify their strengths, stop masking and start leading authentically – as Hassani puts it, ‘finding space to show up without shrinking’. Hassani has spent 15 years in the corporate world. She was formally recognised as autistic at age 36, and her work is influenced by both her lived experience and her role as a corporate leader, where she helps organisations recognise and value their...

138 [S10 E10] Working with our ocean and our tides: the impact of autism self identification

The Squarepeg Podcast

Lara Schaeffer taught high school English for 28 years until her autism identification at age 47 - and her school’s resistance to her being open about her autism to her students. She waited three years for them to change their stance, before eventually leaving the secure, well paying job she thought she would one day retire from. Now in her early 50s, these days Lara works as a counselor to autistic adults and young adults. She is a twice divorced mother of an autistic daughter, and describes herself as having ‘lots of life rockiness’ - which she has no doubt has a lot to do with...

137 [S10 E9] Meeting myself again: sensory needs, autistic joys and building stronger relationships after autism diagnosis

The Squarepeg Podcast

Marian Schembari is an author and essayist whose first byline was at age eleven. It was a poem about dragons. Since then, her essays about travel, friendship, money, and love have appeared in many well known publications, including The New York Times and Marie Claire. Marian was formally recognised as autistic at 34, and spent the next couple of years writing a memoir about it, A Little Less Broken, which came out last year. Marian grew up in an Italian/Puerto Rican family and has lived all over the world, including in New Zealand and Germany. She now lives in Portland, Oregon with her...

136 [S10 E8] 'Undercover autistic': shaping a more just and inclusive future for autistic care users & practitioners

The Squarepeg Podcast

Shazzy Tharby is a Disability & Neurodiversity Leader, Mental Health & Neurodivergence Consultant, counsellor and psychotherapist, the Founder of Positively Living, a worldwide therapeutic service, and Vice President of the Australian Clinical Supervision Association. Shazzy describes herself as “Autistic, disabled, a wheelchair user, and Muslim”. They are 49, the parent of two autistic children, and they live in Perth in Western Australia, where their mental health leadership is transforming people’s understanding of neurodiversity, trauma, and inclusion. A multicultural and...

135 [S10 E7] A blessing and a curse: autism, masking and miscommunication

The Squarepeg Podcast

My guest this week is Clara Törnvall, an author and journalist who lives in Stockholm, Sweden with her two children. Clara was diagnosed autistic five years ago at age 42, leading her to write her first book, The Autists - Women on the Spectrum, a personal essay and cultural history of autism, which has been sold to 13 countries. In 2023, she published a second book, The Autist's Guide to the Galaxy, which places autistics as the ‘normal’ ones and neurotypicals as the outsiders. Clara’s background is in radio and TV presenting and she has also been the editor of several Swedish...

134 [S10 E6] Making your body a nicer place to live: autism and a different approach to physical fitness

The Squarepeg Podcast

** We’re taking a 2-week mid-season break – new episodes will start again on Saturday 27 September ** Leighanne Stephens is a fitness and lifestyle coach for neurodivergent women and non binary people. Now 27, she was diagnosed autistic two years ago, with as she puts it, ‘a surprise addition of ADHD’. Leighanne lives in London and has been self employed since leaving college, niching down to work exclusively with neurodivergent folk last year. In our conversation we talk about the effects of burnout, how Leighanne has come to accept her spiky profile, the relationships between...

133 [S10 E5] The Mess and the Magic: from the good girl narrative to autistic self compassion

The Squarepeg Podcast

Dr Michelle McQuaid is a wellbeing researcher in her early 50s. She lives and works in Melbourne, Australia, where she is an honorary fellow at Melbourne University's Center for Wellbeing Science. Michelle was diagnosed autistic nearly ten years ago, after her then five year old son was diagnosed. By then, Michelle’s autistic brain had turned perfectionism into an all-consuming mission, and by 34 this relentless intensity ended in burnout. She had assumed a ‘good girl’ persona - perfect performance, constant people-pleasing, and protecting others at any cost - and, as she puts it,...

132 [S10 E4] “Layers of unravelling”: autism, leadership and belonging with Kirsty Cullen-Campanelli

The Squarepeg Podcast

Kirsty Cullen-Campanelli is Head Of People Ops, Comms And Employee Engagement at Apple. She was diagnosed autistic two years ago at 38. Kirsty’s story began on a council estate in southern England, where she grew up in a working-class family alongside foster siblings from the age of three. Her journey into mental health and self-understanding began early - navigating life with a narcissistic, psychologically-abusive mother, and losing her father to suicide at 18. She left school with modest grades, worked multiple jobs to put herself through community colleges and university, and left...

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Nigel Rising is the Founder and CEO of Autistic Women Emerging, a charity that aims to change the lives of undiagnosed and newly diagnosed autistic women. The charity was born out of her own personal struggle with depression and suicidal ideation, and it is her hope to help prevent autistic women taking their lives because they believe they are bad people, or a burden to others.

Nigel says: “My post-diagnosis journey has become a mission to understand and address why it took so long to discover why I had suffered a lifetime of painful isolation and loneliness. I cannot bear the thought that there are other people in the world right now experiencing the same dark pain I felt. I want other Autistic women to know that they are not alone in the pain, loneliness and isolation they feel when they are experiencing suicidal ideation.”

Nigel was born in Germany to a military family, raised in Texas, and now lives in Denver, Colorado, in the United States. Her MENSA-level intelligence led to a corporate career, but her social limitations and heavy masking took their toll. Now 53, she was diagnosed autistic with ADHD in early 2023.

We talk about:

➡ The impact of her indigenous American upbringing, religious schooling, and her dad's military background

➡ Masking, hierarchies, her difficulties forming relationships, and her experience of suicidal ideation

➡ Her experience of asking for accommodations in a new role as an openly autistic person

➡ Her growing sense of autistic pride and community after a lifetime of not fitting in anywhere, and the conference for Autistic women she is running in Denver in October 2024, called Autistica Palooza.

CONTENT WARNING: Suicidal ideation. Nigel talks at some length about this, from around 0:48 minutes in to around 0:58, so if you don’t want to hear about this topic, you might want to skip this section

Squarepeg is a podcast in which neurodivergent women, and trans and nonbinary people, explore navigating a neurotypical world and share their insights, challenges and successes.

I hope that these conversations will be inspiring and thought provoking, open you up to new ways of thinking about being neurodivergent, and help you feel more connected to a worldwide community of people with similar experiences.

I’m Amy Richards, and after being diagnosed autistic at the age of 37 I’m now on a mission to learn more about different perspectives and issues around being a neurodivergent adult in a world that feels like it doesn’t quite fit.

EPISODE LINKS:

Nigel’s website:https://autisticwomenemerging.org/

Autistica Palooza event page: https://autisticapalooza.com

Her LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nigel-rising-esq-b874902aa/

Referenced article on suicide and suicidal ideation in autistic people from the National Autistic Society: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/suicide-research

Warning signs of suicide in autistic people: https://988lifeline.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/Warning-Signs-Resource-Sept-2021-2.pdf

Autism in Heels, by Jennifer Cook: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Autism-Heels-Untold-Female-Spectrum/dp/1510758690

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THANK YOU TO MY PATRONS!

A HUGE thank you to my amazing patrons, who support my work on the podcast:

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