Enchanted Arms Part 6: Dairy Queen is a Sore Subject
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast
Release Date: 07/07/2025
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 5 - A Sticky, Yummy Accident
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 5 - A Sticky, Yummy Accident Square Roots - Episode 494 Quest Log: 0:30:30 Level Up: 1:44:30 We solve some train mysteries and rewrite train histories on this exciting episode of Square Roots! Mario can get bad ended as a ghost, so this is a pretty great chunker just by default. If the moon is for boys, then why is Peach there? Also: * Jim Accidentally Posts Pornography * Vanessa Is Racist Against Goombas * What Makes You Think This Toad Is A Sex Worker? * Matt Has Been Attracted To A Lot Of Characters In This Game * Toilet Games This Week: Finish...
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Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 4 - Boat/Unboat
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 4 - Boat/Unboat Square Roots - Episode 493 Quest Log: 0:30:22 Level Up: 1:29:20 The gang takes Mario a-treasure huntin' in this week's episode of Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door. We meet a new bomb friend, beat up a ghost skull, and get involved in more Plant People Crime Family Drama. We also meet Flavio, a rich character who has lived a whole life yet cannot achieve personhood due to the arbritrary constraints placed on him by Vanessa's narrow view of what a person should be. Also: Game awards chat and Street Fighter goss Flavio is not a person...
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The Square Roots Game of the Year Extravaganza
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast
The Square Roots Game of the Year Extravaganza Square Roots - Episode 492 We ignore the idea that 2016 is ten years ago as we get to the end of 2025 and talk about the game of the year from the games we played for the podcast this year (from the main show) as well as our own 2025 game of the year choice! * Good Queen Vanessascles * Huey Lewis and Other Hot Impressions and References * Hot Guests Like Miss Piggy, George Lucas, Florence and the Machine and MORE! * RACHEL SLURS IS NOT INVITED This Week: Listen to our amazing Game of the Year episode! Next Week: Finish Chapter 5 and all...
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Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 3 - RAWK HAWK!
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 3 - RAWK HAWK! Square Roots - Episode 491 Quest Log: 0:27:30 Level Up: 1:25:30 This week's episode of Square Roots is brought to you by The Glitz Pit, just off I-275 at Hillsborough Avenue. Bring your Switch, play some of Nintendo's beloved Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door along with Jim, Matthew, Vanessa and Johnny, and enjoy the jugs, mugs, suds and spuds as well as the best wings this side of Jacksonville! Don't worry if the glitter gets in your food, it's edible! Also: * Rahul Kohli is Waiting in a Statue in the Desert * I Just...
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Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 2 - Something For Everyone to Get Upset About
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 2 - Something For Everyone to Get Upset About - Episode 490 This week we keep on keepin' on with Paper Mario. Did we finish Chapters 2 and 3 like we said we would? No. Will we do two chapters next ep? I don't have a lot of faith that we will, TBH, but we're gonna try. Also: Madam Flurrie doesn't have nipples Matt to Johnny and Vanessa: UGH. Punies commit genocide and more! This Week: Finish Chapter 2! Next Week: Finish Chapters 3 and 4! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for...
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Would You Eat This Bird Twenty Twenty Five
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast
Would You Eat This Bird Twenty Twenty Five Square Roots - Thanksgiving Special Quest Log: 0:02:00 Level Up: 1:06:00 We're not doing a real episode this week, we're doing a Thanksgiving Funebration! And going through the hottest birds of 2025, or at least from games we played in 2025. Probably. Johnny did a really great job running this game and there were no errors. Please comment exactly that previous statement at Vanessa, Jim and Matthew. This Week: Have a great American Thanksgiving! Next Week: Finish Chapter 3! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris...
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Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 1 - Sniff Her Feet
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 1 - Sniff Her Feet Square Roots - Episode 489 Quest Log: 0:31:00 Level Up: 1:43:54 Even with a lack of cheevos we still dive into Nintendo's Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door! We're all playing on Switch, but no matter if you're on that or Gamecube you can certainly play along. Just be prepared for Horny Nintendo. Also: * A Game For Babies With Good Attention Spans * We Complain About One Drive Like A Couple of Boomers * Why Are We Talking Like This * Bowser Is A Job Creator * Is Matt Goombing Right Now * Hooktail's Fetish Stuff This Week: Defeat...
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South of Midnight Part 3: ROUX WAS AHMED BEST?!
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast
South of Midnight Part 3: ROUX WAS AHMED BEST?! Square Roots - Episode 488 Quest Log: 0:16:57 Level Up: 1:12:28 Somehow, throughout this series, Jim, Matt and Vanessa never mentioned that the character Roux from Compulsion Games was played by Jar-Jar Binks, everyone's favourite Star Wars character. Or his actor, anyway, Ahmed Best. Also: * Matt and Jim Don't Know Where the Rockstar Headquarters Are * Jim's Famous Matt Character * A Scardey-Cat Fish * Back to the Future is a Christmas Movie * Onlyh Vanessa Knows the Facts of Life Theme This Week: Finish the game! Next Week: Defeat Hooktail in...
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South of Midnight Part 2: Edgytainment 6-7
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast
South of Midnight Part 2: Edgytainment 6-7 Square Roots - Episode 487 Quest Log: 0:23:15 Level Up: 1:34:15 We've got some exciting South of Midnight for you today! There's all sorts of terrifying stories of cryptids and social injustice! Matt loves Huggin' Molly. Jim's okay with spiders with people faces. Also: * The Console Widows and rphams * Halo on PlayStation 2 * Edgytainment 6-7 * Crash Tries To Join the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders This Week: Finish Chapter 10! Next Week: Finish the game! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome...
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South of Midnight Part 1: The Goose Is Hot
Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast
South of Midnight Part 1: The Goose Is Hot Square Roots - Episode 486 Quest Log: 0:20:30 Level Up: 2:15:30 We're taking a lil detour before doing the vote winner, Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door. That's right, Vanessa, Jim and Matthew are doing South of Midnight, the 2025 action platformer Xbox Sclusey. Also: * The New Fourth Host, Dori * Lil Baby Duck Face * That Conflict That Listeners Love * Dolly Parton Hair Sacrilege * Johnny's Lost in the Forest This Week: Finish Chapter 5! Next Week: Finish Chapter... 10? Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to...
info_outlineEnchanted Arms Part 6: Dairy Queen is a Sore Subject
Square Roots - Episode 471
Quest Log: 32:20
Level Up: 01:48:40
Don't talk to Matt about Dairy Queen. Or Atsuma and his stupid arm. Heck, I don't think Matt is even enjoying The Mystery Man's hijinks at this point, almost at the end, of Enchanted Arms, the cult classic FROM SOFTWARE JRPG!
Also:
* The first podcast
* Everybody gets one pig
* Adult arcades
* Puzzy Corner
* The titular sleep
* Equis Dickboy Charlie Merrily
This Week: Defeat the Mystery Man in Graveholm Keep!
Next Week: Finish Enchanted Arms!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com