Libsyn Directory

Ep. 178: Connecting More Deeply with Gretchen Ruch

Release Date: 01/20/2023

Ep. 191: Do I Matter? The Power of Feeling Needed & Valued

Sunshine Parenting

Do I matter? It’s a small question with a lot behind it—for our kids and for us. Feeling noticed, valued, and needed can shape how we experience our families, friendships, workplaces, and communities. In this episode, Sara Kuljis & I talk about the book We explore the idea of mattering and how everyday interactions can help us communicate one of the most meaningful messages we can offer: You matter, and your presence makes a difference. Resources

Ep. 190: Coach Kids to Better Friendships

Sunshine Parenting

Helping your child or adolescent build the skills to have strong friendships now will lead to the positive relationships they need to have a happy, thriving adult life. “The great news is that we know our kids better than anyone else does, and most of us have a lot of experience in social situations. We have experienced social successes and failures throughout our lives and have learned and honed our own social skills. Therefore, we are the ideal guides for our children in the area of social skills and relationships. We are their ideal “friendship coaches.” Links

Ep. 189: Does Your Family’s Schedule Reflect What Matters Most?

Sunshine Parenting

Do you want to feel less stressed and rushed? In this episode, Sara Kuljis & I reflect on what we’re seeing in the kids and families who come through our summer camps. We talk about the decisions and struggles we experienced balancing our own and our kids' schedules when raising our now-adult kids. In , I share about Sara's workshop & resource, Family Pace & Space, in Secret #7: Kids Thrive With Structure. Links Quotes “Sometimes you have to choose.” Audrey “Choosing between good options is a life skill.” Sara “If the pace feels good, if you’re all getting...

EP. 188 [Tough Twenties] Series Wrap Up with Gretchen (age 30) & Owen (age 20)

Sunshine Parenting

In the final episode of the Tough Twenties series, Gretchen (age 30), Owen (age 20), and I have a conversation about building identity capital in your twenties and how various experiences, whether professional or personal, shape our stories and can influence future opportunities. Owen shares his experience as a beach lifeguard, which, although unrelated to his planned career path, provided him with valuable life skills and discipline. Gretchen, nearing the end of her doctoral program, discusses how her camp counseling experience has been instrumental in her teaching career and her...

EP. 187: [Tough Twenties] The Defining Decade - Meg Jay, PhD

Sunshine Parenting

In the Tough Twenties series, I’m interviewing young adults, answering questions submitted by listeners, and sharing resources and tips related to thriving in young adulthood and beyond. Whether you’re an adolescent or a young adult in your twenties, or you’re parenting a young adult, I know you’ll be encouraged by this series. In this episode, I chat with Meg Jay, PHD, a developmental clinical psychologist who specializes in twentysomethings. She is the author of , and the cult classic . Her books have been translated into more than a dozen languages and her work...

EP. 186: [Tough Twenties] Being an Excellent Employee

Sunshine Parenting

In the Tough Twenties series, I'm interviewing young adults, answering questions submitted by listeners, and sharing resources and tips related to thriving in young adulthood and beyond. Whether you're an adolescent or a young adult in your twenties, or you're parenting a young adult, I know you'll be encouraged by this series. In this episode, I chat with summer camp directors Andy and Alison Moeshberger. Each year they interview, hire, and train two hundred young adult counselors, so they have a lot of great insights on the skills and traits that lead to success at work for young...

EP. 185 [Tough Twenties] Myths that Might be Holding You Back from Living Your Best Life

Sunshine Parenting

In this episode, I share about some myths that can hold you back from living your best life. It's easy to get caught up in the pressure to conform and meet expectations of others. We can find ourselves striving for success based on societal standards or seeking validation from those around us. To live our best lives, it's essential to explore our unique strengths and follow our own path. During this episode I share about five myths many adults base their lives on, truths that counter those myths, and what you can do now to start living your best life. It took me a long time to learn...

EP. 184: [Tough Twenties] Creating Community and Connections with Owen, Age 20

Sunshine Parenting

In the Tough Twenties series, I'm interviewing young adults, answering questions submitted by listeners, and sharing resources and tips related to thriving in young adulthood and beyond. Whether you're an adolescent or a young adult in your twenties, or you're parenting a young adult, I know you'll be encouraged by this series. In this episode I'm chatting with my son, Owen, who has just entered into his twenties. We discuss building connections and relationships in young adulthood and how unplugging from technology can help foster those connections. Owen shares his experiences as a sophomore...

Ep. 183: [Tough Twenties] Foundational Health Habits with Charlotte, Age 25

Sunshine Parenting

In the Tough Twenties series, I'm interviewing young adults, answering questions submitted by listeners, and sharing resources and tips related to thriving in young adulthood and beyond. Whether you're an adolescent or a young adult in your twenties, or you're parenting a young adult, I know you'll be encouraged by this series. In this episode my daughter Charlotte, age 25, and I talk about one area that can be challenging during the transition to adulthood - taking care of health. This episode was motivated by the following listener question: How do I manage the transition from college...

Ep. 182: [Tough Twenties] Gretchen, Age 29, on Relationships

Sunshine Parenting

Navigating dating and romantic relationships - and figuring out how to decide who to commit to and marry- is one of the biggest decisions of the twenties. In this episode, I'm chatting with my daughter Gretchen, age 29, about her romantic relationships in her twenties, what she's learned from her own experiences and her observations and discussion with other young adults, and from the book, The Defining Decade (Meg Jay, PhD). Get in touch: Previous Tough Twenties Episodes Links: (post I read from in this episode) “Think hard about who you marry. It’s the most important decision...

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In Episode 178, my daughter Gretchen and I share a few tips for connecting more deeply with friends, co-workers, family, and people we just met.

Have a bold, specific purpose for every gathering

In Priya Parker's The Art of Gathering (which I recently listened to on a two-day binge), Parker talks about the importance of being really clear on why we're gathering - whether it's a work meeting, a birthday celebration, or a walk with a friend or two - and to have a specific, bold purpose for every gathering we host.

"Celebrating a birthday" or "Having a weekly check-in meeting" are not bold purposes, but are what Parker calls "categories." She makes a compelling argument that as hosts we often spend so much time and energy on food, decor, and logistics but we neglect determining why we are gathering. And that purpose or why is what makes the event memorable.

Here are some examples I've come up with with for events with more specific purposes:
Having dinner together to celebrate the past year and share our best tip for the next one.
Sharing our projects for the next week and setting up accountability and encouragement partners.
Telling stories about ourselves that others don't know so that we can get to know each other better.
Celebrating a birthday by bringing (and reading aloud) notes of what we appreciate about the person.

Parker notes that it's important to tell guests the specific purpose before the gathering, so as not to put anyone on the spot. A simple inclusion on the invitation will suffice.

How are you really doing?

In this episode of Greg McKeown's podcast, he talks about simple tweaks on the normal "How are you?" question that help get us beyond the usual, "fine," or "great!" He suggests instead using either,

How are you really doing?

or a three-part series:
How are you doing on the surface?
How are you doing in the middle?
How are you doing deep down?

Ask (or provide) Great Questions

One of the most important skills for making and keeping friends is asking questions. I've written and talked extensively on the topic (see links below).

In my book Happy Campers I provide a resource list of questions that are great to use with groups of kids (including in your own family). These are questions we provide to our camp counselors as we train them to connect with their campers and help campers connect with one another. You can read more in Connection Through Questions & access the free PDF here.

Even with people we are close to, there are still things we don't know about them. Consider using good questions - and great listening - to grow deeper connections.