When other people's tapping success hurts your healing (Pod #686)
Tapping Q & A - Getting the most out of tapping and EFT
Release Date: 01/29/2026
Tapping Q & A - Getting the most out of tapping and EFT
How long does tapping take to work? It's one of the most common questions I get, and the answer is the most unsatisfying one in coaching: it depends. In this post I'll show you why that's actually the most useful answer I can give you, and how to use it. TL;DR: How Long Tapping Takes to Work How long tapping takes to work depends on the issue you're tapping on and how you define success. A 90-second round can shift a present-moment frustration, while a 35-year-old limiting belief usually takes repeated sessions over time. Happiness equals outcome divided by expectation. The same result feels...
info_outlineTapping Q & A - Getting the most out of tapping and EFT
Recently, I was working with a client who said, "I just wish I understood what the university is trying to teach me." This is a sentiment I often hear from my clients. Learning from our past mistakes is good and valuable. When we are able to see what went wrong and why it went wrong, we can act in new ways in the future. Sometimes it feels even bigger than that. It isn't just learning from a past mistake, but learning a lesson the universe is trying to teach you that goes beyond what happened…it is about who you are at your core. Every time I have learned one of those deeper lessons about...
info_outlineTapping Q & A - Getting the most out of tapping and EFT
Subscribe in: | | | | | | If you have ever finished a round of EFT tapping and found yourself yawning uncontrollably, you are not imagining things. In 18 years of working with clients, this question lands in my inbox almost every single month. It is actually one of the top search terms that brings new readers to TappingQandA.com. TL;DR / Key Takeaways Yawning, burping, and stomach gurgles after a tapping round are all signs that your body shifted out of fight-or-flight mode and into its natural rest-and-restore state. The human nervous system operates in two distinct modes: the...
info_outlineTapping Q & A - Getting the most out of tapping and EFT
It is hard to sit down to tap when you have been battling a stubborn issue for a long time. Without seeing progress, maintaining momentum and motivation is challenging. You may struggle to know what to tap on because it seems as if you are working on the same aspects over and over again. At a certain point, it feels like you are tapping on autopilot and your motivation flags. In my experience, there are three lenses through which to view persistent, deeply-rooted issues that will help to get you unstuck. The great thing is that these three lenses work together in harmony. As you work on one,...
info_outlineTapping Q & A - Getting the most out of tapping and EFT
If you have ever sat down to tap and thought, "this isn't going to work for me," you are not alone. That single thought stops more people from healing than any technique ever could. Knowing what to do when you don't think tapping will work is the first step toward getting unstuck. TL;DR: Key Takeaways The thought "tapping won't work for me" is almost never about tapping. It is a protective story your subconscious is telling to keep you from a deeper fear. Five specific fears tend to hide behind this doubt: losing your last hope, worrying things will get worse, having to admit you could have...
info_outlineTapping Q & A - Getting the most out of tapping and EFT
One of the topics that I have been coming back to again again this year is trying to find ways to make it easier for you to start a round of tapping because once you start it is much easier to stick with it. This week in the podcast I share with you one of my favorite and simplest tapping techniques which is a "one step tapping process". When I am teaching people how to tap this is what I teach them right after I teach wordless tapping. But don't let the simplicity of the approach fool you. Even though it is straight forward it is powerful. So much so when I am giving my clients...
info_outlineTapping Q & A - Getting the most out of tapping and EFT
If you have ever finished a round of tapping and felt more upset than when you started, you are not doing it wrong. In fact, when you feel worse after tapping, it usually means something productive is happening underneath the surface. This is one of the most common questions I get from listeners, and the answer changes how you interpret every round of tapping you will ever do. Key Takeaways Feeling worse after a round of tapping is common, and in most cases it signals that you are closer to real change, not further from it. Any tapping round has only three possible outcomes: you feel better,...
info_outlineTapping Q & A - Getting the most out of tapping and EFT
We emotionally respond to the world based on the way we describe it. What this means is that your subconscious mind is taking cues about what is going on, not based on what you are thinking, but based on what you are saying. The most common version of this is a generalization. You might say something like "Everyone at work hates me." This probably isn't true, but you are going to walk into your workplace in a less healthy and useful way when you are acting as if everyone hates you. Because this is the case, I pay particular attention to the way I talk and what my clients are saying when we are...
info_outlineTapping Q & A - Getting the most out of tapping and EFT
Why I Don't Use the EFT Setup Phrase (And What I Do Instead) If you've watched any of my tap-along videos, you've probably noticed something: I never start with the classic EFT setup phrase. That's a deliberate choice, and I get asked about it all the time. In this post, I want to explain exactly why I skip it and what I use instead. TL;DR / Key Takeaways The traditional EFT setup phrase ("Even though I have this issue, I deeply and completely accept myself") can backfire by activating unresolved self-acceptance issues when you only need quick emotional or physical relief. For many people,...
info_outlineTapping Q & A - Getting the most out of tapping and EFT
It can feel so discouraging when you have great tools at your disposal, like tapping, that you know will have a positive impact on your life…but you are not using them. This leads to self-recrimination AND hesitancy to use the tools in future for fear of failure, which means double the regret. Every six or eight weeks, I set time aside to tap on all the emotions I feel for not tapping as much as I want to. Time spent tapping on my frustration and self-betrayal means I feel better in the moment and I tap more because I have a healthier relationship to tapping. This is such powerful work and I...
info_outlineSeeing others succeed can be a powerful source of inspiration. Once we know something is possible for others, then it also becomes possible for us.
Take the sub-four-minute mile for example. At one point, it was thought impossible for a human to run a mile in less than four minutes and that pushing so hard would cause the runner's heart to explode.
On May 6th, 1954 Roger Bannister was the first person to run a sub-four-minute mile. Less than six weeks later John Landy not only ran a sub-four-minute mile, he beat Bannister's time.
Something went from being impossible, to being done, to having other people doing it.
While it can be encouraging to see others enjoy success, sometimes that becomes a tool for us to beat ourselves up emotionally.
We see that we are working as hard, if not harder, than others and yet we are not having success.
This can lead us to question our effort, our ability, or whether success is even possible for us. Other people's success just highlights our own failure and we feel defeated rather than encouraged.
This week in the podcast we tap for those times where we feel we have failed because we aren't having the same success as those we see around us.
If you have ever felt like you are working as hard (if not harder) as the people around you and there must be something wrong with you because you are not getting the results you want, then this week's podcast was recorded just for you.
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