636. THE COLLEGE PLEASING EPIDEMIC

You can’t please everyone, nor should you seek to, because then you won’t please anyone, least of all yourself. When actor Dylan Moran dispensed that bit of wisdom, he probably wasn’t aware of how aptly it applied to highly selective admissions. Amy and Mike invited education consultant Feiyang Liu to highlight the troubling college pleasing epidemic.

What are five things you will learn in this episode?

1. What is college pleasing, and where does it originate from?

2. How can students, parents, and educators spot signs of college pleasing?

3. What are the hidden costs of college pleasing, both in the admissions process and in students' long-term development?

4. How does people-pleasing in general contribute to the college-pleasing mindset, and how can students learn to prioritize their own needs?

5. How can students shift their mindset from what colleges want to what actually excites and fulfills me?

MEET OUR GUEST

As a naturally introverted high school student, Feiyang Liu felt immense pressure to adopt a bubbly, inauthentic persona for his college applications. This led to a lack of fulfillment and a realization that pretending to be someone he wasn’t came with significant consequences. After graduating from UCLA with a degree in Political Science and from USC with a Master's in Education (Enrollment Management and Policy), he grappled with people-pleasing while working in admissions and student services at UC Berkeley from 2019 to 2023. The burnout from constantly putting others' expectations above his own led to a pivotal moment of self-reflection.

In 2023, Feiyang relocated to New York, where he finally had the space to rethink my identity and values. This journey of self-discovery ignited a passion for genuine mentoring and ultimately led him to found Your Epic Consulting. His mission is to help students avoid the trap of "college pleasing" and instead showcase their true selves in their applications.

Feiyang combined his personal experiences and professional expertise to guide students toward holistic success. At Your Epic Consulting, they don’t coach you to say what 'sounds good' for college admissions. Instead, they empower you to express your authentic self, ensuring that self-acceptance and college acceptance go hand in hand.

Feiyang previously appeared on this podcast in episode 609 for an IEC Profile.

Find Feiyang at https://www.instagram.com/yourepic.consulting/.

LINKS

College Pleasing Series part 1: Origins

College Pleasing Series part 2: Hidden Costs of College Pleasing

College Pleasing Series part 3: Intersection w/ People Pleasing

Summary of "The Disease to Please"

RELATED EPISODES

FINDING YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF IN THE PATH TO COLLEGE

BUILD A WINNING BRAND TO ACE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS

AVOIDING THE PAGEANT APPROACH TO COLLEGE ADMISSIONS

ABOUT THIS PODCAST

Tests and the Rest is THE college admissions industry podcast. Explore all of our episodes on the show page.

ABOUT YOUR HOSTS

Mike Bergin is the president of Chariot Learning and founder of TestBright. Amy Seeley is the president of Seeley Test Pros and LEAP. If you’re interested in working with Mike and/or Amy for test preparation, training, or consulting, feel free to get in touch through our contact page.