Libsyn Directory

378: Summer Series: Healing Your Abandonment Wound with Susan Anderson

The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair

Release Date: 08/03/2023

The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair

Today, I dive into one of my favorite topics and one of the most powerful tools we have for navigating life, parenting, relationships, and our inner world. I am talking about the wisdom of the heart. This conversation was inspired by a thoughtful listener who reached out with such a relatable question. Her message opened the door for a deeper look at intuition, sensitivity, and how we make choices that truly honor our souls. Whether you are a parent or someone who wants to strengthen your inner guidance, this episode will help you understand how to hear your heart more clearly and trust it...

484: Conversations with God with Neale Donald Walsch

The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair

Listener Discretion: This conversation includes a brief mention of suicidal thoughts as part of one guest’s journey toward healing and awakening. In this episode, I sit down with the incredible Neale Donald Walsch, author of the Conversations with God series, for a deeply moving conversation about awakening, consciousness, and remembering who we truly are. Neale shares how a single moment of despair led to a life-changing dialogue with God - one that continues to inspire millions around the world. Our conversation dives into love, unity, and how to live from awareness instead of fear....

483: How to Stop Seeking Approval from Others

The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair

If you’ve ever caught yourself wondering, “Am I good enough? Lovable enough? Worthy enough?”... this episode is for you. Today, I’m diving into the powerful difference between external and internal validation, and how learning to validate yourself is the key to breaking free from codependency, people-pleasing, and enmeshment. When we rely on others to tell us who we are, we lose touch with our true selves. But when we start building that validation from within, everything changes: our confidence, our sense of worth, and the way we move through the world. In this episode, I share: How...

482: Astrology: Your Guide to Purpose, Relationships, and Uncertainty with Monica Lorraine

The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair

Today, I sit down with my dear friend and astrologer Monica Lorraine to explore the deeper wisdom within your astrology chart. You’re so much more than your sun sign. Your birth chart is a map of your soul that reveals who you are and why you’re here. Monica shares how understanding your chart can help you grow emotionally and spiritually, navigate relationship patterns, and uncover your true purpose. She explains what a birth chart is, how planetary movements influence your life, and how to use astrology as a practical tool for self-awareness. In this episode, you’ll hear: What your...

481: Alana Fairchild’s Mystical Journey with Oracle Cards and Inner Guidance

The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair

I’m joined today by the mystical and deeply inspiring Alana Fairchild, an internationally known spiritual teacher, author, and creator of more than 70 beloved Oracle decks. Together, we explore how to navigate seasons of transformation, embody the divine feminine, and trust the mysterious timing of our own blooming. Alana shares profound wisdom on eclipse energy as a spiritual reset, helping us understand why moments of uncertainty, exhaustion, or grief often arrive before major breakthroughs. We also dive into what it means to awaken the divine feminine within, how to listen to your...

480: The Power of Journaling

The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair

Today, I’m diving into one of my favorite topics: journaling. As we head into the 30-Day Journaling Challenge, I’m sharing how this simple daily practice can help you release emotions, gain clarity, and connect more deeply with yourself. I’ll walk you through why journaling is such a powerful healing tool, how it helps calm your nervous system, and even how to use it for manifesting, inner child work, and self-discovery. You’ll see that journaling isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence, honesty, and giving your inner world a voice. In this episode, I share: How journaling...

479: The Power of Energetic Cord Cutting

The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair

Today, I’m diving into the powerful practice of cord cutting - a simple but transformative way to release old ties and reclaim your own energy. We create energetic cords with everyone we interact with, from loved ones to strangers. These connections can weigh us down with resentment, heartbreak, and even other people’s emotions. Cord cutting isn’t about ending relationships. It’s about keeping your energy field clean, clear, and truly your own. In this episode, I share: What energetic cords are and how they affect us Why cutting cords doesn’t mean cutting people out of your life ...

478: I Swallowed a Screwdriver

The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair

Yes, you read that right. In this episode, I share a very real and very unexpected story about what happened when I accidentally swallowed a dental tool, and how I used the Adult Chair model to navigate nine days of fear, anxiety, and uncertainty. What could have been a terrifying and overwhelming experience became a powerful opportunity for me to practice exactly what I teach: grounding, regulating my nervous system, and staying connected to myself no matter what was happening around me. In this episode, I open up about: How I calmed myself using fact and truth, grounding, and slow...

477: The Power of Reflexology with Suzanne Chilton

The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair

In this episode, I sit down with Suzanne Chilton to dive deep into the world of reflexology. Suzanne shares her personal journey from a career in the arts to discovering the healing benefits of reflexology while caring for her husband through invasive cancer treatments. We discuss how reflexology can support self-care, wellness, and health by naturally reducing stress, anxiety, and inflammation. Suzanne explains the interconnectedness of the body's systems and demonstrates practical techniques to relieve tension and promote balance. Whether you're looking for natural ways to...

476: How to Find Your Passion (Even If You Feel Completely Stuck)

The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair

Have you ever asked yourself, “What am I really here to do?” If you feel stuck, unfulfilled, or unsure about your purpose, you are not alone. I hear this question all the time, and I’ve been there myself. In this episode, I’m sharing a fresh way to think about purpose. It’s not something you have to go out and chase, it already lives inside of you. The real work is learning how to align with it. In this episode, I’ll walk you through: How to recognize the clues in your own life story that point toward your purpose Why following the “breadcrumbs” of curiosity can open new...

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Rejection is one of the greatest fears we have as humans. Even simple rejections like not making the team or being chosen for a job – things we know aren’t personal – still sting deeply. Why does rejection seem to hit at the core of who we are?

Susan Anderson began asking this question when she went through a personal experience of abandonment. The love of her life left her suddenly for another woman, and although she was a practicing psychotherapist with immense knowledge of the human mind, she still found herself in emotional crisis and doubting herself and her worthiness.

As she dug more into this topic, she discovered that we as humans have a primal abandonment wound – a universal experience that begins when we are born and go from deep union and connection with our mother to a feeling of being separate. This creates deep shame and causes us to search for belonging and worthiness throughout our lives.

And this is why rejection hurts so much: it triggers this deep fear that we might not belong and we might not be worthy.

In this fascinating and important episode, Susan shares her discoveries on the topic of abandonment, why we experience it the ways we do and how a whole host of other issues in our lives can stem from this wound. We discussed why healing abandonment trauma looks different from healing other traumas, the five stages of healing and the tools (all of which are part of The Adult Chair® model) that can heal it.

Listen to discover:

The hidden shame we all have and the root of it
The different defenses we put up against shame
How to raise our awareness to our abandonment wounds
Why healing from abandonment looks different from other forms of trauma healing
Steps to healing abandonment wounding
How working with abandonment wounding can help with people pleasing, codependency and self-sabotage
5 stages of processing abandonment hurt

The primal wound of abandonment is also an opportunity for primal healing. When we learn to love and accept ourselves as worthy and recognize how deeply connected we truly are, we not only heal our abandonment wound, but we can change almost anything in our lives.

"The loneliness is sort of a secondary feeling. The primary is the primal fear and the shame of maybe never being worthy of keeping someone." - Susan Anderson

"The personality itself is a defense against the shame." - Susan Anderson

"When we look at a relationship that ends, it is a retraumatization of what we experienced as a child." - Michelle Chalfant

"The history that leads to a strong reaction in adulthood to abandonment could be very subtle." - Susan Anderson

"You have to take this step, and you go through it...The pain is there, but you go through it, and you get to the other side." - Michelle Chalfant

"Your adult self can now develop an intense, loving, reassuring relationship with your inner child." - Susan Anderson

"It turns this awful emotional crisis that's so painful into an opportunity for something that's probably long overdue, which is self-love." - Susan Anderson

"Doing these steps, you will become an even better, stronger, more self-loving person on the other side of it...even stronger than you were prior to this abandonment wound." - Michelle Chalfant

"The kind of self-love that we're developing is deeper, more mature self-love...the kind of love you give yourself because you respect yourself so much." - Susan Anderson

"We have to stop looking outside of self and turn our attention inward. That's where healing, that's where love, that's where hope, that's where peace, that's where all the things are that we're looking for outside of ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant

"When the adult gets strong and is in command, it limits all of this self-sabotage." - Susan Anderson

LINKS & RESOURCES

Susan Anderson Website

https://www.abandonment.net/

https://abandonmentrecovery.com

"The Journey from Abandonment to Healing" (Susan Anderson book)

https://www.amazon.com/Journey-Abandonment-Healing-Surviving-Recovering/dp/0425273539

Green Chef

https://www.greenchef.com/adult50

Use code ADULT50 for 50% off + free shipping

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