379: Summer Series: Enmeshment, Codependency & Boundaries with Dr. Ken Adams
Release Date: 08/10/2023
404: Embracing Transformation and Rediscovering Your True Self with Jennifer Dawn
The Adult Chair
Hello, my beautiful Adult Chair family! It’s Michelle Chalfant, and I’m thrilled to be back with you after a few months away. These months have been a transformative journey for me, one filled with deep introspection and change, not just personally but also for our beloved podcast. In this episode, I’m joined by someone very special, Jennifer Dawn, who has been a guide, mentor, and friend to me through this incredible period of growth. Jennifer has a profound connection to energy and healing, and she generously shared her insights on self-discovery and the transformative power of...
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403: How To Listen to Your Soul
The Adult Chair
Lately, there’s been something stirring in my soul. I don’t know exactly what it is yet, but I feel like it’s going to be BIG – like something new is coming, and I need to go inward and listen for what it is. Have you ever felt this way? When this happens, I believe it’s our soul tugging at us, trying to tell us something about our mission and purpose on the planet. And I have made it my intention to always listen when the soul calls. It’s something I like to call “soul alignment” — a practice of going within and listening to the...
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402: Healing Through Grounding with Clint Ober
The Adult Chair
What if the secret to better sleep, less inflammation and reduced pain was as simple as walking barefoot in the grass? Both the earth and our bodies have an electrical charge, and “grounding” (or “earthing”) refers to the practice of connecting our bodies to the earth – keeping the body’s charge at an optimal balance and unlocking tremendous health benefits. If you think this sounds like something made up by a crunchy tree hugger, think again: the father of grounding, Clint Ober, is actually a cable guy. Clint had a strong connection with nature from...
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401: Practical Intuition with Laura Day
The Adult Chair
Have you ever gotten a “gut feeling” that something was going to happen…and then it did? Or sensed that someone wasn’t trustworthy or that you shouldn’t move forward with a decision? This is your intuition at work! Intuition is something we all possess, and something we’ve all undeniably experienced, but how it works remains largely a mystery. Is it something spiritual? Psychological? Biological? Laura Day grew up feeling like her brain was “different” in some way. She knew she had ADD and a number of head injuries, but she didn’t know...
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400: The Art of Manifestation: How To Manifest Your Dream Life
The Adult Chair
2023 is behind us, and 2024 is here! The new year represents a clean slate and new chapter where you can begin manifesting the year – the life – you want. I believe that, as creative beings, we are always in “creation mode.” Like gravity, we can’t turn the laws of manifestation on and off – they just are. So, then the question becomes: What do you really want? And what is it that you are creating with every thought you have and word you speak? In this episode, I’m giving you everything you need to get more intentional with your creations...
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399: Holiday Replay: The Magic of Surrender with Kute Blackson
The Adult Chair
Kute Blackson is no stranger to miracles. Growing up the son of a spiritual leader in Ghana, Africa, Kute witnessed healings and transformation that were nothing short of awe-inspiring. But when he realized it wasn’t his calling to take over his father’s ministry in the way his family expected, it led him on a challenging and transformational journey of his own: one in which he discovered the magic of surrender and how it can heal our lives. In this episode, Kute delivers so much wisdom about what surrender really is (it’s not passive like you might think), the role...
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398: Holiday Replay: How to Become Happier with Gretchen Rubin
The Adult Chair
Whether it’s eating healthier, getting exercise, starting a meditation practice or staying socially connected, figuring out what to do to be happy might be simple – but actually doing these things and living in a way that lets us experience happiness is much harder. When we know there are things we can do that will make us healthier and happier, why do we struggle to actually do them? Why do we get caught in a cycle of chasing happiness instead of choosing joy, even when we know better? This is what Gretchen Rubin wanted to understand when she began studying happiness and why...
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397: How Brain Health Affects Mental Health with Dr. Bisleen Attli
The Adult Chair
For too many years, mental health came with a stigma. It was treated as something “wrong” in the mind, with the psychological and physical looked at entirely separately. It’s almost as if we forgot that the brain is part of the body – a physical organ that needs care just like our heart, our gut or any other part of our body. And when we support our brain health, it can have BIG impacts on our mental and emotional health. Dr. Bisleen Attli is a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy-certified naturopath, which is a fancy way of saying...
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396: Healing Generational Limiting Beliefs with LaShonda Walker
The Adult Chair
As you think about your life, do you ever wish your story was different? You wish you more of this, less of that, that an event had never happened, that you had done the thing you will always regret not doing. But what if the story you tell yourself about your life is just as important as the story of what happened to you? And what if you could change your entire life by consciously changing how you think about your past? LaShonda Walker is a Certified Adult Chair® Coach who has created an incredible healing process called “A New Life Story,” inspired by her training in The...
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Managing Triggers at the Holidays
The Adult Chair
‘Tis the season…for triggers! At the holidays, stress, drinking, spending money and spending time with others all increase. And with that, comes a decrease in patience, sleep, time for self and all the things that make us more resilient to stress. Add in the fact that we tend to be around people we aren’t normally around for longer periods of time, and it’s a landmine for triggers. But as you know, I love triggers because they are such a powerful opportunity to look at and work on our limiting beliefs. So, I invite you to view this...
info_outlineDo you ever feel like you’re being disloyal to your family for having your own life? Or do you feel like you’re second fiddle to your partner’s parents?
If so, you or your partner might come from an enmeshed family: a system of relating to each other that is based on dependency, guilt, obligation and too much closeness (yes, that can be a thing!).
In today’s episode, I’m bringing back one of your favorite guests, Dr. Ken Adams, to talk about the important topic of enmeshment – and let me tell you, he is SUCH a wealth of knowledge!
When I knew we were bringing Dr. Adams back, I asked The Adult Chair® community what you wanted to know about enmeshment, and I was flooded with questions! So, I used this time with Dr. Adams to ask him YOUR questions – everything from the difference between codependency and enmeshment to what to do if your spouse is enmeshed with his or her family to how to let go as an enmeshed parent.
I know you guys are so excited to have Dr. Adams back and to get your questions answered, and I am too!
Listen to discover:
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The line between being caring and enmeshment
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The difference between codependency and enmeshment
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What to do if you come from an enmeshed family or your spouse’s family is enmeshed
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How to manage guilt when stepping out of an enmeshed system
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What a healthy family looks like
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How different cultural norms can foster enmeshment
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Tips for enmeshed parents who want to change their pattern of relating to their children or who are struggling with letting go
The key to recognizing enmeshment is to understand that it’s a connection bound by guilt. It goes beyond being caring and even beyond being codependent to the point of obligation, anger and being accused of disloyalty if you don’t follow the family system.
These feelings of guilt can make it difficult to set boundaries, but if you stay in your Adult, sit with your emotions and hold those boundaries, freedom – and possibly a much healthier family overall – is waiting for you on the other side.
“In those enmeshed systems, dependency is built on obligation and loyalty is driven by guilt.” - Dr. Ken Adams
“Autonomy and separateness feel like disloyalty.” - Dr. Ken Adams
“Sometimes outsiders are viewed suspiciously, which includes your spouse.” - Dr. Ken Adams
“Both partners are responsible for keeping out intrusions”. - Dr. Ken Adams
“Sometimes the guilt is a representation that you’re doing the right thing.” - Dr. Ken Adams
“You don’t let the guilt stop you from continuing the boundaries in that relationship.” - Michelle Chalfant
“It’s really building up self-worth around who am I now…who am I really underneath these masks that my parents put on me.” - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
Dr. Ken Adams Website
https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/
Episode #256: Understanding Enmeshment with Dr. Ken Adams
https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/256/
Episode #276: Raising Teens from The Adult Chair® with Dr. Pam Staples
https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/276/
Find an Adult Chair® Coach
https://theadultchair.com/coaches/
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Events
https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist!
https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
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The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant