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“Enneagram and Marriage” with Christa Hardin

The Allender Center Podcast

Release Date: 08/29/2025

Living in a Distracted World and Following Jesus Into a New Year show art Living in a Distracted World and Following Jesus Into a New Year

The Allender Center Podcast

The new year can bring the hope of a fresh start… or the dread of more of the same.  In this first episode of the year, Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen name what many of us are already feeling: life feels heavy, noisy, and hard to keep up with. They talk about the “stone in the shoe” of modern life—how distraction, overwhelm, and unresolved trauma slowly wear us down—and share practical ways to respond. That might look like stepping back from constant media, creating gentle daily rhythms of prayer, worship, and Scripture, or using journaling and writing to slow your...

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Reflections on the Year 2025 with Dr. Dan and Becky Allender show art Reflections on the Year 2025 with Dr. Dan and Becky Allender

The Allender Center Podcast

As the year comes to a close, Dan and Becky Allender continue their annual podcast tradition: pausing to reflect on the year that has passed. They share a bit about their own experiences—what they’ve learned, what they’re grieving, and what they’re celebrating—as they prepare to enter a new season. Together, they invite you to also pause and reflect: What moments from your year need remembering? What relationships could use repair or deeper care? What desires and hopes might God be stirring in your heart for the year ahead? We are deeply grateful for your presence and support of the...

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God in Relationship: Advent and the Trinity with Rev. Dr. Michael Chen show art God in Relationship: Advent and the Trinity with Rev. Dr. Michael Chen

The Allender Center Podcast

This Advent season, Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen are joined by Rev. Dr. Michael Chen for a rich and deeply human conversation about the Trinity and what it reveals to us about God, ourselves, and our relationships with others.  Together, they explore how the mystery of one God in three persons shapes our understanding of love, relationality, and beauty—particularly in the context of Advent, when we reflect on God’s incarnation and presence in the world. This episode is an invitation to pause, wonder, and engage your heart with the presence of God in this season of...

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The Story of God With Us: Advent and the Early Church with Blaine Eldredge show art The Story of God With Us: Advent and the Early Church with Blaine Eldredge

The Allender Center Podcast

As we begin the Advent season, Dan and Rachael welcome writer and theologian Blaine Eldredge back to the podcast for a sweeping, story-rich journey into history, theology, and the fierce hope of the incarnation. If you love church history or the nuance of theological debate, this episode is a feast. And if you don’t consider yourself a scholar, you’re still fully invited in, because the questions raised here reach all of us who long for God-with-us in turbulent times. They approach Advent by way of one of the most compelling figures of the early church: Athanasius, the fourth-century...

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Loneliness, Isolation, and Presence show art Loneliness, Isolation, and Presence

The Allender Center Podcast

Loneliness is a human experience, but it’s one we don’t always acknowledge honestly. In this deeply personal conversation, Dan and Rachael open up about the moments when loneliness and suffering make us unsure of what we need, what we want, or how to ask for help. They also zoom out: why loneliness is rising, how our culture quietly reinforces isolation, and why recognizing our ache for connection is a sign of our humanity, not our failure. You probably won’t find quick fixes or step-by-step solutions in this conversation. Rather, consider this episode an invitation to reflect on your...

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How to Not Be Consumed at Thanksgiving show art How to Not Be Consumed at Thanksgiving

The Allender Center Podcast

Thanksgiving is right around the corner. It can be a day of tradition, family, and connection. It can also bring tension, exhaustion, grief, or even trigger old wounds.  Today, Dan and Rachael reflect on the complex reality of the holiday: the joy, the nostalgia, the chaos, and the moments that can leave us feeling overwhelmed or even “devoured” by family dynamics. Drawing on their own stories and looking ahead to this year’s holiday, they explore how to hold gratitude alongside grief, and how to create meaningful connection without losing yourself.  Whether you’re hosting,...

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Marriage in the Midst of Difficult Seasons show art Marriage in the Midst of Difficult Seasons

The Allender Center Podcast

Marriage always carries both joy and challenge… but what happens when life pushes you to the edge? When trauma, illness, loss, stress, or sheer exhaustion stretch your relationship beyond its limits? In this tender and often humorous conversation, Rachael Clinton Chen interviews Dan and Becky Allender to explore what it means to love and be loved through seasons of extremity—those times when the demands of life exceed our capacity to meet them. From everyday frustrations to the deep pain of seasons of loss, physical suffering, and ministry fatigue, Dan and Becky reflect honestly on how...

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Trauma & Emotional Dysregulation show art Trauma & Emotional Dysregulation

The Allender Center Podcast

Ever have a day where everything goes sideways and your body just won’t calm down? In this episode, Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen explore emotional dysregulation: why our nervous systems spiral under stress, especially with a history of trauma, and how we can respond with mercy rather than shame. Through humor, real-life stories, and insights from both neuroscience and Scripture, they show that dysregulation isn’t weakness; it’s a signal from your body asking for care and compassion. Their conversation also offers practical ways to tend to your body, mind, and soul. Listener...

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Psalm 13, Erin Brockovich, and the Debris of Sexual Abuse show art Psalm 13, Erin Brockovich, and the Debris of Sexual Abuse

The Allender Center Podcast

If you’ve ever wrestled with the long, uneven work of healing, we hope today’s conversation offers courage for the journey.  Dan shares his recent reflections on the lament of waiting found in Psalm 13 and the persistent pursuit of justice embodied by Erin Brockovich as he rewatched the 2000 film. He and Rachael explore the tension between justice today and the full restoration that is “not yet,” bringing these insights into the lingering impact of past sexual abuse. Healing after sexual abuse shapes not just your body but your whole affective and relational world. When harm...

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“Holy Hurt” with Hillary L. McBride, PhD show art “Holy Hurt” with Hillary L. McBride, PhD

The Allender Center Podcast

Healing from spiritual abuse and religious trauma is not a simple, linear journey. In this week’s episode of the Allender Center Podcast, Rachael Clinton Chen sits down with Dr. Hillary McBride—psychologist, researcher, and author of “Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing”—to explore the invisible wounds that trauma leaves on our minds, bodies, and spirits. They talk about: How trauma can be reinforced by the very systems meant to guide and protect us. The profound importance of witnessing, connection, and radical welcoming in your recovery...

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More Episodes

What does it take to thrive in our relationships—not just survive—and how can the Enneagram help us along the way?

In this episode of The Allender Center Podcast, Rachael Clinton Chen sits down with Christa Hardin, founder of Enneagram + Marriage and author of “The Enneagram in Marriage: Your Guide to Thriving Together in Your Unique Pairing.” Christa brings years of wisdom from her own relationship, plus her expertise as a marriage coach and therapist, to offer a hopeful, honest perspective on why personality awareness matters—but why it’s never the whole story.

Together, Rachael and Christa explore:

✔ Why joyful feelings (and even celebration) can feel harder than conflict—and what that reveals about us.

✔ Christa’s concept of the Glow Stages in relationships—what they are, why we can’t live on the mountaintop forever, and how to navigate the necessary valleys with grace.

✔ How the Enneagram helps us honor our gifts, name our shadows, and stay curious about ourselves and each other—whether in marriage, parenting, dating, or our spiritual lives.

✔ Why love, when nurtured well, not only transforms a marriage but becomes a force for calling, courage, and blessing in the world.

Whether you’re single, newly married, in the trenches of parenting, or decades into a partnership, you’ll find wisdom here for becoming more wholehearted—and more deeply connected. We invite you to listen to discover how your story, your marriage, and your love can grow through every stage.

Get the completely FREE extra chapter of “The Enneagram and Marriage: Your Guide to Thriving Together in Your Unique Pairing” here: https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/hiddenchapter