369: Emotional Immaturity in Relationships Pt.3
The Connected Life
Most of us want to be emotionally mature—calm in conflict, clear about our needs, and kind even when we’re hurting. But no one really teaches us how to get there. In this episode, Justin, Abi, and Rachel unpack one of the most overlooked skills of emotional maturity: distress tolerance. They explore how learning to stay present with uncomfortable feelings—like shame, rejection, or fear—can completely shift the way we handle conflict, communicate needs, and repair in relationships. You’ll hear honest stories about moments when they wanted to escape, react, or fix things fast—and how...
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368: Emotional Maturity: Letting Love In Pt. 2
The Connected Life
Most of us say we want to be loved — but for many of us, when it shows up at our doorstep, it stirs up panic, self-doubt, and the urge to run. But what if allowing people to love us could feel comfortable and completely normal? In this episode, Justin, Abi, and their long-time friend Rachel unpack what it means to build emotional distress tolerance—not just for pain, but for goodness. They explore why being seen, supported, or chosen can feel so threatening when your nervous systems is used to disappointment or self-reliance. From unexpected gifts to unwavering kindness, they share...
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367: The Key to Emotional Maturity Pt. 1
The Connected Life
Most of us were never taught how to be with uncomfortable emotions—only how to avoid, suppress, or get overwhelmed by them. The unfortunate result is disconnection in relationships and more suffering. But what if the real secret to healing and creating secure relationships isn’t about fixing the pain, but learning how to be with it? In this episode, Justin and Abi are joined by longtime friend and consultant Rachel to unpack the rarely talked about skill of emotional distress tolerance—what it is, why we need it, and how it becomes the key to emotional maturity. They get personal,...
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366: A Nervous System Reset
The Connected Life
Most of us don’t realize how disconnected we are from our bodies, our emotions, and the present moment. We live in constant motion, pushing through exhaustion, ignoring discomfort, and calling it normal. But no amount of thinking our way through life will ever replace the deep safety that comes from being connected to ourselves. Justin and Abi are back from their sabbatical... sort of. In this episode they explore how dysregulation in the nervous system affects everything from our relationships to our ability to live out the healing we fight so hard to experience. They share personal stories...
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365: The One Thing That Changed Our Marriage Pt. 1 - Greatest Hits
The Connected Life
We’ve all been in situations where conflict slowly builds between us and someone else, only to find ourselves acting in ways we’re not proud of. Suddenly, we’re asking, “How did I get here, and how can I stop this from happening again?” Yet, we often repeat these cycles, unsure of how to break free. It’s challenging for everyone involved—but there are solutions! In part one of this two-part episode, Justin and Abi explore how our nervous system can throw a massive monkey wrench into relational dynamics. They also share critical telltale signs of a dysregulated nervous system....
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364: There's Hope for Your Relationship - Greatest Hits
The Connected Life
Most of us don’t realize how much of our relationship pain is rooted in old stories—until those stories start playing out with the person we love most. It’s easy to blame our partners for the chaos in a relationship. But what if the truth is that we’re all just scared kids trapped in adult bodies, equally making messes as we search for safety? In this raw and redemptive episode, Justin and Abi share the full arc of their healing journey—from trauma bonding and codependency to finding internal safety, building emotional resilience, and learning to love without self-abandonment. They...
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363: Love that never fails - Greatest Hits
The Connected Life
In this heartfelt episode, Justin and Abi discuss the profound impact grief and suffering have on humanity, exploring how the radical love of God can overcome the despair and hopelessness we all face during overwhelming and painful experiences. Justin shares his personal journey of nearly losing Abi to her illness, revealing how his breaking point became a turning point for hope and freedom. Abi reflects on how her struggles have redefined her understanding of God’s love. Together, they offer a fresh perspective on suffering and fondly recount the goodness of a Creator who has remained...
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362: Bouncing Back from Betrayal - Greatest Hits
The Connected Life
Betrayal cuts deep—not just because of the actions themselves, but because of what they shake inside of us. We choose to trust, to be vulnerable, to let someone in… only to have that trust disregarded. The pain isn’t just in the betrayal itself—it’s in the shame, the humiliation, and the reality-shattering confusion that follows. In this episode, Justin and Abi unpack the emotional toll of betrayal and why it feels so destabilizing. They explore how gaslighting fuels the madness, why short-term efforts at repair aren’t enough to rebuild trust, and how holding strong boundaries is...
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361: Why You Push Love Away - Greatest Hits
The Connected Life
We’ve all experienced those people that seem hot one minute and cold the next. Their mixed signals keep us wondering if they want to be besties or secretly planning our demise. The ups and downs of it can feel like a whiplashing rollercoaster. Solving the mystery can seem impossible, but we might just have your answers! In this episode, Justin and Abi are joined by their long-time friend and fellow Life Consultant, Rachel, to shine a light on disorganized attachment and its impact on relationships. As three people who’ve operated out of it, they unpack the origins of this pattern, the...
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360: A Guide to Expressing Your Emotions - Greatest Hits
The Connected Life
Most of us were never taught how to feel emotions—let alone how to express them in a way that feels safe for us and the people we love. From family dynamics to gender norms to childhood survival strategies, our emotional patterns were shaped long before we had words to describe them. In this episode, Justin and Abi dive into one of the most common relationship struggles: how we respond to emotions—both our own and others’. They explore the battle between “too emotional” and “not emotional enough,” sharing personal stories that reveal just how often those extremes are...
info_outlineChronic sickness can make you feel like you’ve lost yourself and that you’re letting everyone else down too. It impacts more than just your body; it reshapes your identity, your relationships, and your sense of hope.
In this episode, Justin and Abi get personal about their journeys with long-term illness, the pressure to push through, and the silent grief of not being who you used to be. They unpack how sickness affects connection, the loneliness of being in survival mode, and the power of regulating your nervous system to support healing.
Whether you're the one who’s sick or you love someone who is, this conversation will help you feel seen and remind you that your worth isn’t tied to your capacity. There is hope, and it might look different than you expected.
You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife
Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!
Also get your hands on The Tree of Life, an allegorical novel by Justin Stumvoll on Amazon now: https://shorturl.at/hl1n4