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Self Care & Support | The Psychology of Safe Love: What Your Body Knows Before Your Brain Does with Phoebe Rogers

Divorce and Separation

Release Date: 10/13/2025

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Divorce and Separation

When parents separate, the focus is often on logistics parenting schedules, property settlements, court orders. But underneath all of that is something quieter. The emotional world of our children. In this episode, I sit down with psychologist Jamie Maserow, author of The Therapist in Therapy, to explore the silent emotional work children often carry during divorce and separation. We discuss how children can slip into people-pleasing patterns, walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting Mum or Dad. We unpack jealousy — whether it’s a child feeling replaced by a new partner, or a parent...

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Divorce and Separation

If you’re separated (or separating) and you keep replaying the past, rewriting conversations, and wondering “Maybe I’m the one who’s wrong…” this episode is for you. One of the most common (and most unsettling) things I see after a breakup isn’t confusion about money, logistics, or parenting schedules. It’s people quietly doubting their own reality. There’s a name for it: self-gaslighting and it can keep you stuck long after the relationship ends. In this short solo episode, I explain what self-gaslighting is, why separation turns up the volume, and how to rebuild trust in...

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Some of the hardest days after separation aren’t the days where everything falls apart. They’re the days that look “fine” on paper — birthdays, Christmas morning, school milestones, first days back — and yet I still feel that sting afterwards. In this episode, I’m talking about why milestone days can hurt more than you expect, especially when social media tells the story first. Not because a photo is “wrong”… but because the timing, the caption, and the implied narrative can leave you feeling edited out of your child’s life. This isn’t petty. It’s grief meeting...

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Jonathan Kline-Spink, Director at Market Street Finance, unpacks what banks are really looking at when someone is separating and hoping to keep the family home. We talk about the difference between borrowing capacity and affordability, why keeping the family home after separation is often more complex than people expect, and how lenders reassess risk when a joint mortgage becomes a single loan. Jonathan explains how banks consider income, expenses, child support, and property values; why finance approvals fall through, and the importance of having honest, early conversations before...

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Buying out an ex from the family home after separation can feel overwhelming — financially, legally, and emotionally. In this episode, I’m joined by Christina Salvo, CEO and Founder of Simple Separation, to break down how the process actually works and what needs to happen first. We talk through the real sequence involved in buying out an ex — starting with negotiation and mediation, moving into formal agreements, and then looking at finance and title transfer. Christina explains why affordability and borrowing capacity need to be assessed early, what lenders look at when a joint...

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Divorce and Separation

Dr Gina Cleo joins me for a powerful conversation about the tiny habits that help you steady yourself after separation especially when identity, routine and confidence feel completely shaken. Gina shares openly about her three divorces and the very human process of rebuilding from the inside out. We explore how separation disrupts the “micro-moments” of your day, why habits shape identity, and the difference between having a habit problem versus simply having no capacity left. We also talk about: Small actions that rebuild confidence and clarity Breaking patterns like people-pleasing...

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Children feel the impact of separation long before they can explain it and many carry those early wounds into adulthood. In this episode, I’m joined by Tommy Herschell, founder of Find Ya Feet, to explore what can happen for kids during a family breakdown and how those early experiences can shape boys and men for decades. Tommy shares his own story, his parents’ separation when he was 10 years old, the years of self-blame, and the emotional crash in his mid-30s that forced him to face what he’d been carrying. We talk about how unspoken pain shows up in kids’ behaviour, why emotional...

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If your mind feels loud but your heart has gone quiet, this episode is for you. If you’re navigating divorce or separation and feel overwhelmed by everyone’s opinions, this episode will help you tune back into your voice. In this instalment of The Anatomy of Divorce, I explore The Ears — the part of the process where discernment, boundaries, and self-trust matter most. During separation, it can feel like you’re drowning in advice from friends, family, lawyers, social media, and your own inner critic. But not every voice deserves airtime. I share how this played out during my own...

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This episode is part of The Anatomy of Divorce segment, I unpack one of the most overlooked skills in separation - perspective. When life turns upside down after divorce, your brain goes into survival mode. You loop old arguments, replay stories, and grip tightly to being understood. But sometimes the shift you need most isn’t fixing them - it’s seeing them differently. I share how understanding your biology, practising perspective-taking, and embracing Let Them Theory can help you calm your nervous system, make clearer decisions, and protect your peace. You’ll also learn my...

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Separation and divorce cost the Australian economy $101 billion every year but behind that figure are real people quietly trying to hold their lives, families, and jobs together. In this episode, I’m joined by Andrew Tomich, Director at , to explore how divorce impacts the workplace from leadership and productivity to culture and wellbeing. Andrew shares what happened when a senior colleague went through a complex separation and how empathy, flexibility, and communication became the foundation for getting through it together. We talk about the ripple effect personal crises have inside...

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More Episodes

Have you ever felt your gut warning you about someone but your head talked you out of listening?

In this episode I sit down with clinical psychologist and author Phoebe Rogers to explore the psychology of safe love and why rebuilding self-trust after separation starts in your body, not your brain.

We dive deep into what happens when you begin healing after separation, why so many of us keep attracting emotionally unavailable partners, and how schema therapy can help you break free from the old relationship patterns that hold you back.

Together, we unpack:

  • The link between your nervous system and emotional safety in relationships;
  • Why learning to trust yourself again after divorce is the foundation for love after divorce;
  • What to look for when you’re dating after divorce and how to know when you’re ready;
  • How your body often senses red flags before your mind catches up;
  • Why healthy, safe love begins with reconnecting to yourself

Because true healing after divorce doesn’t make you harder to love it makes you better at it.

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going:
Visit Divorce and Separation Hub to explore expert resources, courses, and programs tailored to your needs. Share your questions or comments you’re not alone in this.

Host: Nikki Parkinson, TEDx Speaker, Divorce Doula, Coach and Founder of The Divorce and Separation Hub.

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Join our Divorce and Separation community HERE.

Watch Nikki's TEDx Talk HERE.

Guest: Phoebe Rogers, Clinical Psychologist and Author of When Will It Happen For Me?

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This podcast’s audio production crafted by Dan at dankingproductions.com.au.

This episode is sponsored by Simple Separation, the smarter way to separate. Simple Separation is an online, fixed-fee service designed to help Australian couples finalise their divorce and separation respectfully, collaboratively, and without the stress of going to court. From property settlements and parenting plans to child support and divorce applications, everything you need is under one roof, saving you time, money, and unnecessary conflict.

Book your free consultation today to find out if Simple Separation is right for your situation at simple-separation.com.au.