Custody & the Primary Carer: How to Protect Yourself & Your Kids In FAMILY LAW

🎧 Listen to This Episode If…

👩‍👧 You’re in a custody dispute and want to show the court you’re the primary carer

⚖️ You’re unsure what “primary carer” really means under family law

📚 You need to know what kind of evidence proves you’ve been the day-to-day parent

😟 You’re worried your ex is twisting the truth about who cares for the kids

📝 You want practical tips on documenting your role as the main caregiver

🏛️ You’re preparing for mediation or family court and want to feel more confident

💡 You want to understand how judges assess who the primary carer is

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family and domestic violence, coercive control, and financial abuse.
📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek independent advice for your specific situation.

primary carer. What does it actually mean? How do courts define it? Why does it matter so much in custody battles and interim hearings? And most importantly, how can you prove you’ve been the primary carer if your ex tries to rewrite history?

We unpack the recent changes in family law in Australia, the shift away from the old 50/50 presumption, and why the courts now focus on the best interests of the children over parental entitlement. Along the way, we share practical examples, strategies for gathering evidence, and insights into how controlling or manipulative ex-partners sometimes exploit this concept.

Whether you’re negotiating custody in mediation, preparing for court, or simply trying to understand your rights, this episode is for you.

⏱️ Episode Timeline – What We Discuss

• 00:00 – What does “primary carer” mean in divorce and custody cases?

• 02:08 – How do courts define the role of a primary carer in family law?

• 03:46 – What changes in family law affect interim parenting orders?

• 06:50 – How do judges decide the “best interests of the children”?

• 16:07 – How can you prove you are the primary carer in custody disputes?

• 23:13 – What practical steps help parents show primary carer status?

• 23:37 – When should you seek legal or psychological support in custody battles?

• 23:48 – How do you handle high-conflict separations in family court?

• 24:07 – What role do parenting plans play in custody and court proceedings?

• 25:38 – How does family violence impact child custody decisions?

• 28:01 – Do grandparents and babysitters count in proving primary carer status?

• 30:29 – What is the “first right of refusal” in custody arrangements?

• 34:39 – What evidence do you need to prove you’re the main carer for your children?

• 41:59 – Final thoughts and encouragement for parents in custody cases
  
  

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📌 Links & Resources Mentioned

• Cowlings Case : https://www.austlii.edu.au/au/journals/FedJSchol/2002/2.pdf

• The Purple Book https://domesticviolence.com.au/resources/the-purple-book/

• Family Law Changes episode https://open.spotify.com/episode/4nPB5tKDwMC95G9IrFXGSq?si=SeyXIoDDRN-MJy4Q513WAQ

• Family Law Act Australia Definition of Family Violence https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s4ab.html

• Family Law Act Section 61DAB https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s61dab.html

• Safeguarding against unfair accusations in Family Court Custody Battles https://open.spotify.com/episode/2vgyr4S8LWECnqspEfrdij?si=-oZRAP06S7yTNGVxHyV4GQ

• Enrol now: The Divorce Course https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/enrol

 

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🆘 Support Services

💜 1800 RESPECT – Domestic and Family Violence Support
📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14 (24/7 Crisis Support)
⚖️ Legal Aid – Visit your state’s Legal Aid website
👧 Kids Helpline – 1800 55 1800