The Divorce Course Podcast

The Divorce Course Podcast is hosted by mother–daughter duo Laura Furiosi and family law specialist Lyn Galvin. Together, they break down the complex world of separation and divorce into clear, practical, and empowering conversations. From property settlements and parenting arrangements to dealing with difficult exes, finances, and family court, the podcast gives listeners the knowledge, tools, and confidence to navigate divorce without feeling lost or alone.

Is Your Ex Wasting the Property Pool? Here's What the Family Court Does Now 05/05/2026

Is Your Ex Wasting the Property Pool? Here's What the Family Court Does Now 🎧 Listen to this episode if… You've been told "add-backs are dead" by your lawyer or your ex Your ex is wasting the property pool and you don't know how to stop it You've watched assets disappear since separation bank accounts, cars, super You're heading into mediation and need to know what to argue You want to understand what the Shinohara & Shinohara Case and Shamon & Sharon Case actually mean for your case You're worried about delay tactics while your ex quietly drains the joint money ⚠️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is general information only – it is not legal advice. The content reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your specific situation or jurisdiction. Always consult a qualified family lawyer about your individual circumstances. Laws may have changed since this episode was recorded. Episode Summary You may have heard the rumour – "add-backs are dead." Lawyers are quoting it, ex-partners are using it as an excuse, and people are panicking that there's nothing they can do when the property pool is being drained. In this episode, Laura and Mum unpack what add-backs actually are, why people think they've disappeared, and what the courts are really doing about wastage now. The short answer? Add-backs aren't on the balance sheet anymore but wastage is absolutely still considered. Thanks to Shinohara & Shinohara [2025], the courts have stopped putting "imaginary money" into the property pool. But thanks to Section 79(5)(d) of the Family Law Act and the case of Shamon & Shamon [2025], wastage now adjusts the percentage split of what's left – and in Shamon, that meant the wife walked away with nearly 100% of the property pool plus costs. Mum walks through what counts as wastage (selling assets cheap, gambling, blowing money post-separation, gifting funds to a new partner), what doesn't (post-separation income spent on living, ordinary marital spending), and how to protect the property pool before your ex empties it. She also explains exactly what to consider saying if a lawyer or mediator quotes Shinohara at you including the section number, the case names, and the strategy that works. If you suspect your ex is wasting money or stalling property settlement, this is the episode to listen to before you do anything else. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – Are Add-Backs Dead? The Property Pool Myth Going Around 01:00 – Legal Disclaimer & Australian Family Law Context 01:30 – What Is an Add-Back in Property Settlement? 03:15 – The Townsend Case: How Add-Backs Used to Work 04:25 – Property Pool vs Balance Sheet: What's the Difference? 05:25 – The 4 Steps of Property Settlement Explained 05:50 – Why People Think Add-Backs Are Dead: Shinohara Explained 07:15 – "Don't Put Pretend Money on the Balance Sheet" 07:55 – The Real Risk: Ex Spending Everything Before Settlement 08:45 – How Wastage Is Handled Now: Section 79(5)(d) 10:00 – Percentage Adjustments Instead of Balance Sheet Add-Backs 11:30 – The Shamon Case: Wife Got Nearly 100% Plus Costs 13:50 – What to Do If Your Ex Has Already Drained the Pool 14:30 – How to Protect the Property Pool: Caveats Explained 17:00 – Protecting Joint Bank Accounts and Cash 17:50 – Superannuation, Cars and Other Assets 19:50 – Arguing Wastage in Mediation (Not Court) 21:00 – How to Respectfully Tell Your Lawyer They're Wrong 24:30 – Free Webinar Reminder 24:40 – What to Write to Your Ex Before Settlement 26:25 – What Counts as Wastage: Kowaliw, Gambling & More 27:30 – Is Drinking and Drug Use Considered Wastage? 28:15 – Gifts to a New Partner: The Gollings & Scott Case 29:30 – Reckless Spending vs Ordinary Spending 30:15 – Bad Business Decisions Post-Separation 31:10 – So Are Add-Backs Dead? The Final Answer 32:30 – What Evidence You Need to Prove Wastage 33:50 – The Mechanism Has Changed, the Outcome Hasn't 34:25 – Your Toolkit: Section 79(5)(d) of the Family Law Act, Shamon, Townsend, Weir 35:30 – Why Acting Fast Matters in Financial Abuse 36:55 – Reviewer of the Month: Manal from Australia 38:30 – Final Thoughts: Wastage Rules 🎧 Episodes Mentioned in This Episode 1. Equalisation of Super: The Myth That Won't Die https://youtu.be/YFkOnEsNybw?si=LAQd2SUq_YRVl9Ts 3. The Gilded Cage: Delay Tactics in Property Settlement https://youtu.be/cs6-jHDt-Qk?si=ufuSLLwVmasbQKsL 4. Financial Abuse and Hidden Assets https://youtu.be/D3-fV8C4gkM?si=JQMk6eqMXWUktsUf 📚 Links & Resources 📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 (24/7 support) 📞 Lifeline — 13 11 14 🚓 Police — 000 (immediate danger) 🌐 The Divorce Course — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au 🎓 The Divorce Course Podcast — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog 🎟️ Free Webinar — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au (click "Reserve My Seat") Cases Mentioned Shinohara & Shinohara [2025] — the case people are misreading https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FedCFamC1A/2025/126.html Shamon & Shamon [2025] — https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FedCFamC1A/2025/150.html Townsend & Townsend — the original add-back case (the taxi) Weir & Weir — the quarry / missing gravel case Kowaliw & Kowaliw [1981] — the trashed family home case Gollings & Scott — the engagement ring / post-separation income case Legislation Family Law Act 1975 — Section 79(4), Section 79(5)(d) — https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s79.html Family Law Act 1975 — Section 90SM (de facto equivalent) If this episode helped you understand wastage and feel ready to push back when someone says "add-backs are dead," please follow, rate, review, and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others going through the same thing can find this information too. All our best, Laura & Lyn Your Guides By Your Side Co-Hosts of THE DIVORCE COURSE PODCAST /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/41170425

Coercive Control & Domestic Violence in Family Court: Should You Raise It or Stay Silent? 04/29/2026

Coercive Control & Domestic Violence in Family Court: Should You Raise It or Stay Silent? 🎧 Listen to this episode if: You want to understand if domestic violence can affect your property or parenting outcome You've been told by a lawyer to "leave the family violence out" of your case You're scared raising coercive control or domestic violence will backfire on you in mediation You're confused by social media saying the courts ignore family violence Your ex is still using coercive behaviour even after separation You're heading into mediation or court and don't know how to bring it up ⚠️ Legal Disclaimer & Family Violence Trigger Warning This episode contains discussion of family violence, coercive control, post-separation abuse, and the impact of these behaviours on children, which may be distressing for some listeners. If you are unsafe or experiencing family violence, please reach out for support. Support is available in Australia: 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14 🚨 In an emergency, call 000 This podcast provides general educational information about Australian family law only and is not legal advice. Laura is not a lawyer. Every situation is different, and you should seek independent professional guidance tailored to your circumstances. Episode Summary Should you bring up coercive control and domestic violence in your family law case… or will it backfire? If you've been online lately, you've probably seen wildly different opinions. Some people insist the courts ignore family violence completely. Others say the system is finally taking it seriously. And then there are the lawyers quietly telling clients to "just leave it out so we can settle." So who's right? In this episode, Mum and I unpack how coercive control and domestic violence are actually treated in Australian family law right now and the recent appeal cases that show the courts are starting to listen. We walk through real 2023 and 2024 decisions including Burnell & Rockford, Lainhart & Elinson, Dejani & Dejani, and Sad & Raymond cases your lawyer may not have caught up with yet. We talk about Section 4AB, Section 75, and Section 79 of the Family Law Act, why mediators sometimes forget you're still being coercively controlled while sitting across from your ex, and the very real "peace at any price" trap that costs people thousands in their settlement. If you've been silenced, dismissed, or told it's not worth raising this episode is for you. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – Coercive Control & Domestic Violence in Family Court: Should You Raise It? 01:00 – Meet Laura & Lynette: Family Law Mum & Daughter Duo 02:00 – Trigger Warning & Legal Disclaimer (Australia & Overseas) 03:00 – Why Social Media Gets Coercive Control So Wrong 04:00 – Why Lawyers Tell Clients to Leave It Out (And Why It's Wrong) 05:00 – Judge Best's Powerful Speech: "Soften Your Gaze" 06:00 – Why Both Parents Having Issues Doesn't Mean Equal Blame 07:00 – Section 4AB: The Family Violence Definition That Changed Everything 09:00 – Why Courts Now MUST Consider Family Violence Allegations 10:00 – The Old Kennon Case vs The New Law: What Changed 11:00 – Choosing the Right Lawyer When Domestic Violence Is Involved 12:00 – "Don't Raise It Or You Won't Settle" — The Lawyer Myth 13:00 – When NOT to Mention Family Violence in Property Mediation 14:00 – The Smarter Way to Negotiate Coercive Control in Mediation 16:00 – Parenting Cases: Why You MUST Raise Family Violence 17:00 – Lainhart & Elinson 2023: The Appeal Case Every Mum Should Know 18:00 – Section 60CC: Safety of Children Now Comes First 19:00 – Why Parents Don't Tell Lawyers the Full Truth (And Why You Must) 20:00 – Coercive Control in Parenting Cases Explained 21:00 – Counselling Orders: When the Court Mistakes Lip Service for Change 23:00 – False Alienation Claims: The New Coercive Control Tactic 24:00 – 50/50 Is No Longer the Default — Here's What Replaced It 26:00 – Free Divorce Webinar With Lynette (Family Law Specialist) 27:00 – Property Settlement: How Domestic Violence Affects Your Percentage 28:00 – Kennon & Kennon: The Original Family Violence Property Case 30:00 – Dejani & Dejani: When a Child's Health Issue Was Hidden 32:00 – Burnell & Rockford 2024: Coercive Control in Property Settlement 34:00 – Financial Abuse and PIN Numbers: What the Court Decided 35:00 – Why You Need These Cases at Your Mediation 37:00 – How Lawyers Use Cases as Negotiation Leverage 38:00 – Section 79 & Notice of Risk: The Mediation Framework 40:00 – Adding Percentage in Mediation Without Saying Why 41:00 – Why You Must Disclose Family Violence in Parenting Negotiations 43:00 – Settlement vs Court: The 10 Questions You Should Ask Yourself 44:00 – Why Mediators Forget You're Still Being Controlled 45:00 – How to Prove Coercive Control: Affidavits That Stand Up 47:00 – The Biggest Mistake: Peace at Any Price Mentality 48:00 – Why Post-Separation Abuse Often Gets Worse 49:00 – Don't Compromise on Children — Stand Your Ground 50:00 – Final Thoughts: It's Their Shame, Not Yours 🎧 Episodes Mentioned in This Episode 1. How to Put Coercive Control Into Writing for Court https://youtu.be/SIyXCGXH5nw?si=-7tLxmBpVQb2dNOv 2. Is It Family Violence? A Walk Through the Family Law Act https://youtu.be/YCddFx9cs_Y?si=DbJU6ePYSxDZFrEn 3. Settling vs Going to Court: 10 Questions to Ask Yourself https://youtu.be/gYpW3znoY28?si=pdg6wWbjMWttMH94 📚 Cases Mentioned (Take These to Your Lawyer) Burnell & Rockford (2024) — Coercive control and financial abuse in property settlement https://austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FedCFamC2F/2024/468.html Lainhart & Elinson (2023) — Full Court appeal, Deputy Chief Justice McClelland — family violence in parenting https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FedCFamC1A/2023/200.html Dajani & Dajani [2025] FedCFamC1A 28 (26 February 2025) — Hidden health issues in children and the impact on contributions https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FedCFamC1A/2025/28.html Sayed & Rehmann [2025] FedCFamC1A 145 (21 August 2025) — Family violence and property contributions https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FedCFamC1A/2025/145.html Kennon & Kennon — The original family violence and property settlement case (Section 75) 📰 Resources Mentioned Article: "Judge urges profession to soften your gaze when dealing with domestic and family violence" — QLS Proctor, 27 March 2024 (Federal Circuit & Family Court Judge Hannah Cara Best) Family Law Act 1975 — Sections 4AB, 60CC, 75, 79 https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s4ab.html 🆘 Links & Resources 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 (24/7 family violence support) Lifeline – 13 11 14 Emergency – 000 The Divorce Course – www.thedivorcecourse.com.au Free Webinar with Lynette (family law accredited specialist) — register at thedivorcecourse.com.au If this episode helped you feel braver about raising coercive control and domestic violence in your family law matter, please follow, rate, review, and share the podcast it helps other people in coercively controlling situations find this information too. You are not alone, and you don't have to stay silent. /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/41055740

Divorce Money Mistakes: What Financial Planners Know That You Don’t 04/22/2026

Divorce Money Mistakes: What Financial Planners Know That You Don’t 🎧 Listen to this episode if: You’re about to go through property settlement in divorce You’re focused on the percentage but unsure what it actually means You’re dealing with complex finances (trusts, companies, super, shares) or Simple Property Settlement You want to avoid making a financial mistake that costs you years You’re wondering whether to take the house, cash, super or investments ⚖️ Legal Disclaimer & ⚠️ Family Violence Trigger Warning This episode contains discussion of family violence, coercive control, and financial control, which may be distressing for some listeners. If you are unsafe or need support: 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14 🚨 In an emergency, call 000 This podcast provides general educational information only and is not legal or financial advice. Please seek professional guidance tailored to your situation. Most people going through property settlement are focused on one thing… 👉 What percentage am I going to get? But here’s what most people don’t realise… Two people can walk away with the same 50/50 split and end up in completely different financial positions. Because it’s not just about the percentage… 👉 it’s about what that percentage actually looks like in your life. In this episode, Mum and I sit down with financial planner Pedro Marin and break down the four key steps a financial planner takes during property settlement so you can avoid costly mistakes and actually set yourself up for your future. We talk about everything from figuring out what’s in your property pool, to deciding how to structure your settlement, to planning your future and finally, making sure everything is actually set up properly after the deal is done. Because getting a settlement is one thing… 👉 making it work for your life is another. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – Divorce Property Settlement: It’s Not Just the Percentage 01:22 – Meet Financial Planner Pedro Marin 04:04 – Why Financial Planning Matters in Divorce 08:01 – Step 1: Mapping Your Property Pool in Divorce 10:46 – Trusts & Companies in Divorce Explained 12:46 – Step 2: How to Structure Your Property Settlement 15:41 – Cash vs Property vs Super vs Shares in Divorce 23:20 – Step 3: Planning Your Financial Future After Divorce 24:48 – Financial Advice Risks: What You Need to Know 25:32 – Setting Financial Goals After Separation 28:58 – When to Start Financial Planning in Divorce 32:41 – Using the Same Financial Planner as Your Ex 34:52 – Budgeting for Mediation & Property Settlement 37:30 – Step 4: Implementing Your Divorce Settlement 40:20 – Insurance, Risk & Protection After Divorce 43:49 – Wills, Estate Planning & Protecting Your Children 47:25 – Biggest Mistake: Emotional Decisions in Divorce 49:35 – How to Work With a Financial Planner (Pedro Marin) 51:19 – Final Takeaways & Legal Disclaimer 🎧 Additional Episodes Mentioned Weapons of Tax Destruction https://youtu.be/tsDlMphLRWk?si=1Fbpw7XJy9jxCK20 Living Arrangements: Should You Keep or Sell the House? https://youtu.be/wknV5CB90yY?si=HGwH5m1AtXba5k7G 🔗 Links & Resources 🌐 Marin Wealth: https://marinwealth.com.au/ 📥 Free Checklists: 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 If this episode helped you think differently about your property settlement, make sure you follow, rate, review, and share the podcast — because someone else out there needs to hear this before they make a costly mistake. /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/40971570

Furniture in Divorce: Who Gets What & Costly Mistakes to Avoid 04/15/2026

Furniture in Divorce: Who Gets What & Costly Mistakes to Avoid 🎧 Listen to this episode if: You’re arguing over furniture or household items in divorce Your ex has taken everything or won’t give anything back You’ve been told “you can’t take anything if you leave” You want to avoid wasting money on legal fees over small items You’re trying to work out what’s actually fair vs worth fighting for Legal Disclaimer & Family Violence Trigger Warning This episode contains discussion of family violence, coercive control, and separation dynamics, which may be distressing for some listeners. If you are unsafe, do not attempt to retrieve belongings alone. This podcast provides general educational information only and is not legal advice. Every situation is different, and you should seek independent professional guidance tailored to your circumstances. What happens to all the “stuff” when you separate? Everyone talks about the house, the bank accounts, and the kids… but no one really talks about the furniture, the appliances, the artwork and yes, even the toilet brush. In this episode, Mum and I unpack what actually happens to household contents in a property settlement, and why these seemingly small things can end up causing some of the biggest fights. We break down what the law really says (and what it doesn’t say), whether it matters who paid for something, and why arguing over furniture can end up costing you far more in legal fees than the item is even worth. We also walk through four practical ways to divide furniture based on your ex’s personality type whether they’re amicable, avoidant, high conflict, or controlling so you can sort it out without derailing your entire settlement. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – Furniture in Divorce: Common Myths You Need to Know 01:40 – Safety, Legal Disclaimer & Family Violence Warning 02:36 – What the Law Says About Furniture in Divorce 03:03 – Who Owns Furniture After Separation? 07:02 – Divorce and Possession: Who Keeps What? 07:41 – Myth: Do You Lose Furniture If You Leave the House? 09:45 – Cost vs Value: Is Furniture Worth Fighting Over? 11:32 – Emotional Furniture Fights in Divorce Explained 13:58 – Amicable Divorce: The Two List Method (Simple Solution) 16:24 – Avoidant Ex: How to Pack, Send & Move Their Stuff 18:54 – Shed Disputes & When to Get Legal Advice 20:54 – Free Divorce Resources You Can Use 21:43 – When to Move Out During Divorce (Timing Matters) 22:41 – High Conflict Divorce: Should You Sell Everything? 24:50 – Valuing Furniture in Divorce Negotiations 27:55 – Biggest Mistakes People Make With Furniture 31:11 – Don’t Let Furniture Ruin Your Property Settlement 34:03 – Mindset Shift: It’s Not About the Stuff 35:30 – Fresh Start After Divorce: Letting Go 39:47 – Final Takeaways: Fairness & Moving Forward 🎧 Additional Episodes Mentioned What About Their Stuff and Belongings? (Referenced when discussing how to handle an ex leaving items behind or refusing to collect them) https://youtu.be/T_tQUbhBxbQ?si=kt1ChMF08dquxgkr Links & Resources 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 If this episode helped you rethink how to approach the “stuff” in your separation, make sure you follow, rate, review, and share the podcast so others can avoid getting stuck in the same fights. /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/40883030

Health and Divorce: How Illness May Affect Property Settlement Percentage 04/07/2026

Health and Divorce: How Illness May Affect Property Settlement Percentage 🎧 Listen to this episode if: You or your ex has a serious illness or disability You’ve been a carer during the relationship You have ongoing medical expenses You’re worried about future financial support after separation You want to understand how courts assess health in property settlement ⚖️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is for educational purposes only and provides general information about Australian family law. It is not legal advice. Every situation is different, and you should seek independent professional guidance for your circumstances. What happens in a property settlement when serious illness is part of the story? In this episode, Mum (a family law specialist and family lawyer) and I unpack one of the most emotional and often misunderstood areas of family law: how health issues, illness, and medical needs may impact your property settlement percentage. Because when you’re going through separation, you’re not just dividing assets… You’re also dealing with uncertainty, fear, ongoing treatment, and the reality of what life will look like moving forward. We talk about what happens if: you cared for a sick partner for years you are the one who is unwell there are ongoing medical expenses or even if someone has a life-limiting illness We break down how the court looks at contributions vs future needs, why simply saying “I’m unwell” isn’t enough, and how these factors can actually shift the percentages in your property settlement. If illness has played a role in your relationship on either side this episode will help you understand how the law approaches it, and what it might mean for you. ⏱️ Episode Timeline - Health and Divorce: How Illness May Affect Property Settlement Percentage 00:00 – Illness and Divorce: How Health Impacts Property Settlement 00:22 – Why Health Changes Everything in Divorce Outcomes 01:32 – Meet the Hosts & Divorce Episode Overview 01:57 – Real Story: Endometriosis and Divorce Costs 03:07 – Divorce Property Settlement Explained (Step-by-Step) 04:38 – Caring for a Sick Partner in Divorce: Does It Count? 07:43 – What If You’re the Sick Partner in Divorce? 09:46 – Divorce and Spousal Maintenance: Your Options 11:37 – Life Expectancy & Divorce Future Needs Explained 15:47 – Medical Expenses, Kids & Divorce (NDIS Explained) 19:12 – Proving Medical Needs in Divorce Settlements 21:00 – Short-Term vs Long-Term Illness in Divorce 21:41 – Temporary vs Chronic Illness in Divorce Cases 23:34 – Open-Ended Spousal Maintenance in Divorce 24:46 – Remission, Recovery & Divorce Medical Evidence 27:43 – How to Prove Illness in Divorce Court 30:18 – Divorce Surveillance, Fraud Claims & Mental Health 32:48 – When Both Parties Are Sick in Divorce 33:34 – Financial Obligations After Divorce Separation 35:19 – Divorce Agreements: Risks You Need to Know 37:20 – Rapid Fire Divorce Questions About Illness 39:07 – Divorce Mediation Tips When Illness Is Involved 40:46 – The Emotional Reality of Illness in Divorce 42:15 – Final Thoughts: Advocating for Yourself in Divorce 🎧 Episodes Mentioned in This Episode 1️⃣ Consent Orders vs Binding Financial Agreements - https://open.spotify.com/episode/5qgGhdAl5UaOo7LHb2Yf5Y?si=OFf8umvVQ7KAbzntw6AnVg 2️⃣ The Divorce Course (Program / Course Reference) www.thedivorcecourse.com.au ⚠️ Family Violence & Sensitive Content This episode discusses illness, vulnerability, and complex family dynamics, which may be distressing for some listeners. If you need support in Australia: 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14 🚨 In an emergency, call 000 ⚖️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is for educational purposes only and provides general information about Australian family law. It is not legal advice. Every situation is different, and you should seek independent professional guidance for your circumstances. If this episode helped you better understand how health can impact your divorce, please make sure to follow, rate, review, and share the podcast it helps others going through the same thing find this information too. /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/40755895

Is Your Ex Watching You? Coercive control goes digital. 04/01/2026

Is Your Ex Watching You? Coercive control goes digital. 🎧 Listen to this episode if: You feel like your ex knows things they shouldn’t You suspect you’re being tracked, monitored, or watched You’re going through separation and worried about digital safety Your ex had access to your devices, passwords, or accounts You want to protect yourself and your children from tech-based abuse What if your ex knew where you were… who you were talking to… and what you were saying — without you ever telling them? In this episode, we’re joined by Catherine Plunkett, Director of Safety Net Australia at WESNET, to unpack the growing reality of technology-facilitated abuse in relationships and after separation. Because abuse doesn’t always leave bruises. Sometimes it looks like: your ex showing up where you are unexpectedly knowing things you never told them accessing your messages, accounts, or location And increasingly, this is becoming one of the most common forms of domestic and family violence. We break down what tech abuse actually is, how it happens, the warning signs to look for, and most importantly what you can do to protect yourself and your children. If something doesn’t feel right, this episode will help you understand what might be happening and what steps you can take next. ⏱️ Episode Timeline - Is Your Ex Watching You? Tech Abuse in Divorce Explained 00:00 – Is Your Ex Spying on You? Hidden Tech Abuse Signs 01:35 – What Is Tech Abuse? How It Works in Relationships 05:10 – How Common Is Digital Abuse After Separation? 06:52 – Tracking Apps, Spyware & How People Monitor You 12:06 – Warning Signs Your Phone or Accounts Are Compromised 16:20 – What NOT to Do If You Suspect You’re Being Watched 18:00 – Digital Safety Checks & Getting the Right Support 20:33 – Safe Phones, New Devices & Protecting Your Accounts 23:12 – That “Alarm Feeling”: Trusting Your Instincts 24:11 – Smart Homes & Hidden Tracking Risks You Didn’t Expect 26:31 – Cars, GPS & How Vehicles Can Track You 27:45 – Digital Safety Checklist: Steps You Can Take Today 30:47 – How Kids Can Be Used in Tech Monitoring 35:20 – AI, Deepfakes & The Future of Digital Abuse 38:39 – Where to Get Help for Tech Abuse 41:17 – Your Right to Privacy and Safe Communication 42:27 – What Safety Net Australia Does for Victims 44:19 – Final Thoughts, Support & Next Steps 🔗 Links & Resources Safety Net Australia – eSafety Commissioner – 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline Australia – 13 11 14 ⚠️ Family Violence Disclaimer This episode contains discussion of family violence and may be distressing for some listeners. If you are experiencing domestic or family violence, support is available: 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14 🚨 In an emergency, call 000 ⚖️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is for educational purposes only and discusses general concepts. It is not legal advice. Every situation is different, and you should seek independent professional guidance for your circumstances. /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/40693495

Refusing 50/50 Care? What to Do in Mediation When Your Child's Safety Comes First 03/24/2026

Refusing 50/50 Care? What to Do in Mediation When Your Child's Safety Comes First 🎧 Listen to this episode if: You’ve been told to attend mediation but feel unsafe agreeing to child care arrangements Your ex is pushing for 50/50 care and you don’t believe it’s appropriate for the kids You’re dealing with substance abuse, family violence, or safety concerns and your child's safety You feel pressured to compromise at mediation when you don’t want to You want to understand your options without giving in on safety Have you been told you need to go to mediation, but you’re worried about the outcome because you simply cannot budge when it comes to your child’s safety? Has your ex demanded 50/50 care, but deep down you know that arrangement isn’t in your child’s best interests right now? We talk about how to approach mediation when you feel stuck, how to clearly communicate your concerns, and the practical options that may be discussed including supervised time, stepped arrangements, and drug and alcohol testing. If you’re feeling pressured, overwhelmed, or unsure how to stand your ground, this episode will help you navigate mediation with clarity and confidence. ⏱️ Episode Timeline -Refusing 50/50 Care? What to Do in Mediation When Your Child's Safety Comes First [00:00] – Mediation With Safety Fears [02:33] – What Mediation Really Is [05:40] – Holding The Safety Line Why you don’t have to agree to unsafe arrangements just to reach an outcome. [06:37] – Define The Real Risks How to clearly identify and communicate your specific safety concerns. [09:27] – What Courts Call Unsafe Understanding how the court views risk and safety in parenting matters. [10:33] – Supervised Time Options Exploring supervised contact as a way to maintain relationships safely. [12:56] – Choosing Contact Centres How supervised contact works and what to consider when selecting a centre. [16:34] – Cutting Contact And Court Optics What happens if time is stopped altogether and how it may be viewed legally. [18:43] – Stepped Parenting Orders Using gradual increases in time to build safety and trust over time. [21:26] – Therapy Conditions And Pitfalls When therapy is suggested, what to watch out for and potential risks. [23:06] – Drug And Alcohol Testing How testing can be used to address concerns and create accountability. [26:25] – Costs And Waitlists The practical realities of supervision services and delays. [26:45] – Paying For Supervision Who pays for supervised time and how this is handled. [27:28] – Preparing For Mediation How to go into mediation feeling clear, confident, and prepared. [28:13] – When They Refuse Supervision What to do if the other parent won’t agree to safe options. [28:48] – Best Interests Not 50/50 Why equal time is not automatic and must reflect the child’s needs. [30:40] – Court View On Refusal How the court may interpret refusal to compromise or engage. [33:27] – Holding Your Safety Line Practical ways to stay firm without escalating conflict. [35:17] – If Mediation Hits Impasse What happens when no agreement is reached and what comes next. [38:17] – Costs Threats Reality Check Addressing fear around legal costs and pressure tactics. [39:07] – Using Mediation For Property How mediation can still be useful even if parenting isn’t resolved. [43:16] – Authenticity And Support Staying grounded, supported, and focused during a difficult process. ⚖️ Family Violence & Legal Disclaimer This episode contains discussion of family violence and may be distressing for some listeners. If you are affected, please consider listening with support or contact: Lifeline (Australia): 13 11 14 1800 RESPECT: 1800 737 732 This podcast is for educational purposes only and discusses general concepts in Australian family law. Every situation is different, and you should seek independent professional guidance for your specific circumstances. 🔗 Helpful Resources 1800 RESPECT – National Domestic Violence Support Lifeline Australia – 13 11 14 Relationships Australia (Supervised Contact Services) Parenting communication apps: OurFamilyWizard, AppClose 🎧 Recommended Episodes Mediation: What It Is (and What It Isn’t) https://youtu.be/YvcWAYuG4QA?si=hSiXFvVDaFDV4J6v Understanding the Best Interests of the Child (Section 60CC) https://youtu.be/k4-QTbfW8XM?si=SDzN2cIzO4FtlMQu Mediation Series: How to Prepare and What to Expect https://youtu.be/cmcFWXD2EBs?si=TqUcJvQzmd2MMNJc /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/40603500

The Parenting Order Loopholes Your Ex Might Exploit (And How to Close Them) 03/18/2026

The Parenting Order Loopholes Your Ex Might Exploit (And How to Close Them) 🎧 Listen to this episode if: You are about to negotiate parenting orders or a parenting plan Your coparent is high conflict, manipulative or controlling You’re worried they will twist agreements or exploit loopholes You’re preparing for mediation or family court for parenting orders You want parenting orders that actually reduce future arguments Family Violence & Legal Disclaimer This episode contains discussion of family conflict and family violence which may be distressing for some listeners.If you are experiencing family violence or feel unsafe, please contact 1800 RESPECT (Australia) or your local domestic violence support service. This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. Laura and Lynette are discussing general concepts in Australian family law. Every situation is different, and listeners should obtain independent professional guidance about their specific circumstances. Episode Time Stamps: The Parenting Order Loopholes Your Ex Will Exploit (And How to Close Them) 00:00 High Conflict Co Parenting 01:59 Why Orders Need Clarity 05:10 Changing Orders Is Hard 07:03 Loophole 1 Communication Rules 11:53 Loophole 2 Last Minute Changes 14:12 Loophole 3 Handover Boundaries 20:14 Loophole 4 Extracurricular Conflicts 26:30 Loophole 5 Stop Trash Talking 28:04 High School Choice Traps 29:39 Private School Fee Fights 31:14 School Updates and Access 32:07 Kids Phones and Screen Rules 35:50 Passports and Travel Clauses 40:06 Medical Decisions and Info 44:34 Emergency Contact Requirements 46:27 Rosters Holidays and Ambiguity 50:07 Think About What Ifs 51:12 Wrap Up and Disclaimers Helpful Resources Lifeline (Australia): 13 11 14 1800 RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Family Court of Australia resources on parenting arrangements Parenting communication apps: OurFamilyWizard, AppClose, Talking Parents Episodes Mentioned in This Episode 1. 12 Agreements to Include in Parenting Plans Referenced when discussing the main structure of parenting agreements before talking about loopholes. https://open.spotify.com/episode/6j325rOj96QvV8spPnYsX5?si=td4XlKQZSr6CXfCSm9H_bA 2. Handover Hell Mentioned during the discussion about pick-up and drop-off conflicts and handover disputes. https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Pskjns3vZkLyv9FCefvxm?si=guIkwi1ITJuTOnshvpP9VA 3. Trash Talking Referenced when discussing parents speaking negatively about the other parent around the children.https://open.spotify.com/episode/7bxqn5I6B1HCzO9r0zKnxY?si=nEH3splzQxSTBOUikJJHhA 4. Interstate Travel With Children After Separation Mentioned during the travel and passport boundary discussion. https://open.spotify.com/episode/0auxUUS6QSh0ILcGHXbQgk?si=CmhYz74pSquyhTI2dgRMbQ 5. Tech Facilitated Abuse Referenced during the children’s phones, devices and monitoring discussion. COMING SOON 6. Sole Parental Responsibility Suggested for listeners who want to understand decision-making authority around medical or school issues. https://open.spotify.com/episode/2O0VczmgtAPUrvcgJiF8HP?si=BM0nanlwTP6k67SMF8yg4g Summary Many parents believe that once parenting orders are made, the conflict will finally stop. But the reality is court orders don’t magically change behaviour. If you are dealing with a high-conflict, manipulative, controlling or avoidant ex, poorly written parenting orders can become a playground for loopholes, misunderstandings and ongoing arguments. In this episode of the Divorce Course Podcast, Laura and Lynette break down the most common loopholes people exploit in parenting orders and the practical boundaries you may want to think about before signing anything. Because while parenting orders can’t eliminate conflict entirely, clear boundaries can prevent many of the arguments before they even start. You’ll learn how to think about communication, handovers, school decisions, travel rules, technology, medical issues and more all through the lens of preventing future conflict. /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/40519525

Can I Make My Ex Leave the House? 5 Strategies After Separation 03/11/2026

Can I Make My Ex Leave the House? 5 Strategies After Separation 🎧 Listen to this episode if: You are separated but still living under the same roof as your ex You feel stuck in the house and don’t know how to move forward You want to know what an ouster order is You want to understand sole occupancy Someone told you if you leave the house you will lose your rights to it You want to understand what you can legally do to create space after separation Your ex refuses to move out and you don’t know what your options are You’re wondering whether you can make your ex leave the house You’re dealing with a manipulative, avoidant, high-conflict, or coercive control type ex You want to learn about trial separations, nesting, temporary arrangements, and sole occupancy orders You’re worried about how staying under one roof is affecting you or your children You want practical strategies to move forward without damaging your property settlement ⚖️ Legal & Safety Disclaimer This podcast provides general educational information only and is based primarily on Australian family law. It is not legal advice and should not replace advice from a qualified legal professional. Always seek independent legal advice specific to your circumstances. This episode also discusses family violence and coercive control, which may be distressing. If you feel unsafe or need support in Australia, contact 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline (13 11 14), or call 000 in an emergency. When a relationship breaks down, most people focus on the big things: the kids, the property settlement, and the future. But one of the most suffocating parts of separation is often the very first step — how do you stop living under the same roof as your ex? If you’re walking on eggshells at home, wondering whether you can leave, whether you’ll lose your rights to the house, or whether you can legally make your ex move out, you’re not alone. These questions come up for almost everyone navigating separation. In this episode, Mum and I break down five realistic ways to create space after separation without damaging your property settlement. We talk about what you can legally do, what you absolutely shouldn’t do, and the myths that keep so many people stuck living under one roof for far longer than they need to. [00:00] – The Fear of Being Stuck in the House During Separation Why the family home becomes one of the biggest emotional pressure points in divorce, and why living under one roof with your ex can feel suffocating for you and your children. [02:43] – What You Should NEVER Do During Separation Why throwing belongings outside, changing locks, cutting utilities, or intimidating your ex can backfire legally and even be considered family violence. [04:44] – Divorce Myth: Do You Lose Your Rights If You Leave the House? Debunking one of the most damaging divorce myths that keeps people trapped in toxic living situations during property settlement. [06:05] – Five Ways to Create Space After Separation An overview of the five realistic strategies couples use to stop living under one roof during divorce. [07:45] – Option 1: Simply Asking Your Ex to Move Out When a calm, respectful conversation about separation can actually work and how to confirm agreements without escalating conflict. [09:58] – Option 2: Creating a Temporary Living Arrangement How structured temporary agreements can help one partner move out while property settlement negotiations continue. [13:16] – Option 3: Nesting or House Swapping for the Kids What “bird nesting” is, why some divorced parents try it, and the emotional and logistical challenges that often arise. [18:47] – Option 4: The Trial Move-Out Strategy How trial separations can reduce confrontation and why temporary moves often become permanent. [20:23] – Trial Separation Tactics That Reduce Conflict Why trial separations can help avoid high-conflict confrontations, especially with manipulative or controlling partners. [21:06] – Why Many Partners Don’t See Divorce Coming Why some people emotionally check out of relationships long before the separation conversation happens. [22:47] – The Risk of Control and Financial Backlash After Separation How manipulative or controlling partners may react when separation becomes real. [24:04] – Coercive Control and the ‘Amnesia’ Effect How distance from a controlling relationship can help you recognise patterns of manipulation you couldn’t see before. [25:40] – Ouster Orders and Sole Occupancy Explained When courts can legally order one spouse to leave the home during separation. [27:59] – The Risks of Applying for Sole Occupancy Orders Why asking the court to decide who stays in the house can sometimes backfire. [29:55] – Domestic Violence Orders Without Leaving the House How protection orders can sometimes be issued even when couples continue living under one roof. [32:54] – Safety Planning and Support Resources Why separation can be a high-risk time and the importance of having a safety plan in place. [34:12] – Common Divorce Myths That Keep People Stuck Debunking misinformation about living under one roof, property rights, and separation timelines. [35:42] – Why Physical Space Makes Divorce Negotiations Easier How creating distance can improve mediation outcomes and reduce emotional conflict. [37:41] – Final Takeaways: Moving Forward After Separation Why creating physical and emotional space is often the first step toward starting your new life after divorce. Episodes Mentioned in This Episode “I Really Want to Keep the House” “Five Out-of-the-Box Ideas to Keep the House in Property Settlement” “The Divorce Personality Types Quiz Episode” “How to Create a Safety Plan” Support Services (Australia) 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 National domestic, family and sexual violence support service. Lifeline – 13 11 14 24-hour crisis support and suicide prevention service. Emergency Services – Call 000 if you are in immediate danger. /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/40391025

When It’s Not Just Conflict: How Coercive Control Shows Up in Divorce 03/03/2026

When It’s Not Just Conflict: How Coercive Control Shows Up in Divorce 🎧 Listen to this episode if: You’re unsure whether what you experienced was abuse You’ve heard the term “coercive control” but don’t fully understand it You feel confused, guilty or constantly off balance in your relationship Negotiations during separation feel manipulative rather than constructive You’re worried about how coercive control affects children You want clarity and validation around your experience This episode discusses family violence and may be triggering for some listeners. If you need support, please reach out to 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) or Lifeline (13 11 14). This discussion is general education only and not psychological or legal advice. ⏱️ Episode Timeline: When It’s Not Just Conflict: How Coercive Control Shows Up in Divorce [00:00] – Is This Normal Conflict or Something More? [01:45] – Safety Disclaimer & Family Violence Support Services [02:35] – Why Naming Coercive Control Matters [03:35] – What Coercive Control Actually Is (Simple Definition) [04:32] – Patterns, Not Incidents: Why Abuse Isn’t Always Obvious Why domestic violence is no longer viewed as isolated incidents but as ongoing patterns of behaviour that create harm over time. [05:35] – No Bruises, Still Harm: Emotional & Psychological Abuse Explained How gaslighting, micromanagement, silent treatment and financial control cause real psychological damage without visible injuries. [07:13] – How Do You Explain Coercive Control to Others? [10:03] – The Three D’s: Disrespect, Disempowerment & Distortion A practical framework to identify coercive control behaviours in relationships and divorce negotiations. [11:09] – Disempowerment: Fear, Micromanagement & Loss of Autonomy How controlling partners create dependency, intimidation and fear of consequences — even without physical violence. [12:11] – Post-Separation Control: When Abuse Continues After Divorce Why coercive control often escalates during separation, mediation and family court proceedings. [13:59] – Disrespect & Double Standards in Abusive Relationships [16:27] – Distortion & Gaslighting: Rewriting Reality [18:48] – Narcissism vs Coercive Control: What’s the Difference? Understanding the overlap between narcissistic traits and coercive control in emotionally abusive relationships. [20:09] – Seeing the Whole Pattern (Not Just One Argument) Why focusing on single incidents hides the broader pattern of domination and manipulation. [21:56] – How Coercive Control Impacts Children Why children are not just witnesses but victims in coercively controlled households — including hypervigilance and emotional harm. [24:22] – Protecting Children in Family Court How concerns about coercive control can be reframed as “alienation” — and why understanding legal narratives matters. [25:34] – One Safe Parent: The Protective Buffer for Kids [26:15] – Why It’s So Hard to Leave an Abusive Relationship Financial dependence, fear, threats, trauma bonding and loss of autonomy explained. [27:56] – The Power Myth: Why Abusers Seem So Smart and Untouchable [28:54] – Trauma Bonding Explained The cycle of highs and lows that keeps people emotionally attached in abusive dynamics. [30:01] – Court Fears & Post-Separation Abuse Why people fear family court when coercive control continues through legal processes. [31:03] – Negotiation vs Control: The Simple Test How to tell the difference between genuine divorce negotiation and manipulation disguised as cooperation. [33:05] – The Three D’s in Legal Tactics [34:15] – Legal Examples: Silent Treatment, Rigid Demands & Pressure Tactics Recognising micromanagement, unreasonable timelines, and threats dressed up as “legal process.” [38:04] – Using Children to Maintain Control After Separation Excessive updates, micromanaging parenting decisions, and control disguised as “concern.” [44:25] – Hold Onto Clarity: Documenting Patterns of Abuse Why writing things down helps counter gaslighting and protects your psychological stability during divorce. [46:37] – Legal Narratives & Gatekeeping in Court How coercive control can be minimised or reframed in legal settings — and why showing patterns matters. [48:12] – Hope, Support & Life After Coercive Control side. [49:06] – Workshop Resources & Next Steps 🔗 Resources Mentioned 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 https://kirovapsychology.com.au/ (Melbourne workshops & resources) Previous episodes on: Mediation vs Manipulation https://youtu.be/cmcFWXD2EBs?si=LOOTB_BwYJIQSmn9 Legal Abuse: https://youtu.be/h2Pu2MmbDxw?si=-HiUdJAfdvoMK8fL Alienation Allegations: https://youtu.be/g8ofj-Sp3n4?si=_0tX3XSweEMzYp6o Safety Planning https://youtu.be/R4M8Hr9cbh0?si=0XyklWL2VMwx_cmN /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/40295265

When In-Laws Interfere in Your Divorce (What You Have to Respond To) 02/24/2026

When In-Laws Interfere in Your Divorce (What You Have to Respond To) 🎧 Listen to this episode if… ● Your ex’s parents or extended family are texting, pressuring or negotiating on their behalf ● Grandparents are demanding time with your children ● You’re being accused of owing money that was supposedly a “gift” ● You’re dealing with coercive control through third parties ● You feel like you’re negotiating with an entire extended family ● You’re unsure what you legally have to respond to ● Your mediation agreements change after your ex speaks to their family ● You want clear boundaries and practical guidance during separation If you are going through separation or divorce and suddenly your ex’s family has become involved, this episode will help you understand what your responsibility actually is and where it ends. In this conversation, Mum and I unpack what you legally have to respond to, what you can ignore, and how to protect your peace when outside pressure starts escalating conflict. We talk about grandparents family members negotiating property settlement, so-called “loans” during property disputes, mediation interference, coercive control via in-laws, and how to set boundaries without damaging your credibility. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, ganged up on, or unsure how to manage extended family pressure this episode is your permission slip to protect yourself. Legal Disclaimer:This episode contains general educational discussion only and is not legal advice. We are based in Australia and laws differ between countries. Always seek independent legal advice tailored to your personal circumstances before making decisions. Family Violence & Safety Trigger Warning Disclaimer This episode includes discussion of family violence, coercive control and high-conflict dynamics.If you are experiencing family violence, intimidation, harassment or feel unsafe at any time, please seek support immediately. ⏱️ Episode Timeline for When In-Laws Interfere in Your Divorce (What You Have to Respond To) 00:00 – Introduction: When Your Ex’s Family Gets Involved What happens when parents, siblings or extended family step into your separation? 02:05 – How Family Dynamics Shift After Separation Why “blood is thicker than water” can suddenly feel very real. 05:35 – Do You Have to Respond to In-Laws Negotiating on Your Ex’s Behalf? What you can ignore, what to document, and how to protect yourself. 08:10 – Grandparents’ Rights Explained (Australia) When grandparents can see children and what your responsibility actually is. 14:15 – Gifts vs Loans in Property Settlement When a $100,000 “gift” suddenly becomes a claimed debt. 19:50 – Can Grandparents Demand Time If Your Ex Isn’t Seeing the Kids? Understanding the best interests of the children and practical considerations. 24:20 – Family Members Pressuring or Manipulating Children How courts view this behaviour and what you can do. 27:10 – Divorce Mediation Agreements Changing After Family Influence Why outside pressure can derail settlements and how to manage it. 30:30 – Boundaries With Your Own Family During Divorce How to handle well-meaning but unhelpful advice and pressure. 31:45 – What You Can Control vs What You Can’t Practical mindset shifts to protect your peace. 35:45 – “It’s Not About Them” Why your focus must remain on you, your children, and your divorce case. 🔗 Links & Resources ● DIY Divorce Blueprint – Courses & Support ● 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 ● Lifeline – 13 11 14 Related Episodes: ● Trash Talking – What To Do When Your Ex Badmouths You ● 10 Boundaries for a Healthy Divorce ● How to Create a Safety Plan ● Dealing With Narc Lies in Court ● When Your Ex Lies in Court Closing Reminder Divorce is hard enough without feeling like you’re negotiating with an entire extended family.If this episode helped you feel clearer, calmer or more confident about setting boundaries during separation, please follow, rate and review the podcast. Your support helps more women find grounded, practical information when they need it most.And remember you are not responsible for managing everyone else’s emotions.This is not about them. /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/40209025

How Long Does Divorce or DeFacto Separation Really Take? Your Complete Process Walkthrough 02/18/2026

How Long Does Divorce or DeFacto Separation Really Take? Your Complete Process Walkthrough 🎧 Listen to this episode if… You feel overwhelmed and don’t know what the steps of the divorce process are You're separated (or thinking about separating) and want clarity on what happens next You're stuck in negotiations or dealing with a stonewalling, avoidant or controlling ex You want to understand mediation, arbitration, court filings, interim hearings and trials You’re self-represented and need a clear, realistic roadmap of the family law process You want to feel calmer, in control, and informed about the journey ahead You’re already in the court system and want to know what the upcoming stages really mean You want to avoid panic, surprises and fear of the unknown If you're going through separation, divorce or a parenting/property dispute in Australia, this episode will walk you through every major step in the family law process from the moment of separation all the way to a final hearing. No jargon. No fear. No overwhelm. Just a clear explanation of what you may face and how long things typically take. We break down how to negotiate, when mediation works (and why it fails), what arbitration actually is, how to use deadlines and case law to manage a difficult ex, when court becomes necessary, what happens at each court stage, and how to avoid getting stuck for months or years. Whether you're at the very beginning or already halfway through, this roadmap will help you feel grounded and prepared. 📌 LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This episode is general education only — not legal advice. Always seek independent legal advice for your specific situation. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – Divorce Roadmap Overview: What to Expect From Separation to Trial A complete explanation of the stages ahead and why understanding the process matters. 00:38 – Meet the Hosts + Education-Only Disclaimer Why we give information, not advice — and how to use the episode wisely. 01:59 – Why Your Separation Date Matters (Especially Under One Roof) How timelines, contributions, and financial outcomes are affected. 03:45 – DIY Negotiations: Why a ‘Signed Paper’ Isn’t Enough The trap so many people fall into — and how it can cost you later. 05:28 – Consent Orders & Financial Agreements Explained What makes an agreement legally binding and what the court checks for. 06:59 – Parenting vs Property Mediation: How They Work & How to Prepare Why combining both in one day often backfires. 10:55 – After Mediation Fails: Arbitration, Offers & Partial Agreements How to keep momentum instead of getting stuck. 13:28 – Stonewalling & Delay Tactics: Deadlines, Notice to File & Case Law Strategies to shift an avoidant or controlling ex. 19:03 – Filing in Court: What Documents You Need & What They Mean Affidavits, financial statements, notices of risk and more. 20:47 – Should You File Parenting & Property Together? The advantages and pitfalls. 22:03 – Using Court Filings as Negotiation Leverage Why an initiating application often triggers settlement. 23:11 – First Court Event Explained (It’s Not a Trial!) What registrars do, what decisions they can make, and what they can’t. 23:43 – PPP500 & Evatt List: What These Court Pathways Mean for You Faster lists for smaller pools and family violence matters. 25:52 – Interim Hearings: Urgent Parenting & Property Issues When the court steps in early. 28:02 – Court-Ordered Mediation: Reality Checks & Settlement Pressure The moment many cases resolve. 31:35 – Readiness Hearing: Preparing for Trial Final directions, valuations, and evidence. 33:11 – Final Trial: What Actually Happens in the Courtroom Cross-examination, timelines, outcomes and appeals. 36:37 – Big Picture Strategy: Stay Focused on Your Stage Why thinking too far ahead causes overwhelm. 40:09 – Costs Orders & Legal Abuse The consequences for bad behaviour in litigation. 41:58 – Wrap-Up: Tell It to the Judge + Course Info & Outro 🔗 Links & Resources ✨The Course: ✨ Courses & Free Support Resources: 💛 Support Services 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/40146285

Separated… but Stuck? The Chicken & Egg Problem Keeping You in Divorce Limbo 02/11/2026

Separated… but Stuck? The Chicken & Egg Problem Keeping You in Divorce Limbo 🎧 Listen to this episode if… You feel stuck and unable to move forward after separating You're separated under one roof and nothing is changing Your stuck deciding whether to go to court next or just give up You're overwhelmed by the emotional load and decision fatigue You don't know whether to start with the house, the money, the kids or the legal steps You're waiting for the “right time” but it never seems to come You want clarity about why you feel frozen and what to do next You're scared of making a mistake or starting conflict You want a practical, compassionate explanation of why early separation feels like quicksand You need reassurance that you're not failing you're human PLEASE note Lyn’s audio file at the end of the episode was lost so we have cobbled together what we had to finish the episode as we know so many of you listen each week so, sorry no embroidered cushion this week. Hopefully the tech will behave itself next week for you all. Trigger warning there are discussions of Family Violence & Coercive Control. Legal Warning: this is not legal advice 📝 Episode Summary: Separated… but Stuck? The Chicken & Egg Problem Keeping You in Divorce Limbo If you’ve ever felt like you’re separated but… nothing is moving, you’re not alone. In this powerful episode, Laura and Lyn unpack the “Chicken & Egg Problem” of early divorce — that confusing, exhausting stage where every decision feels dependent on another decision, and you don’t know which one you’re meant to make first. Should you move out? Should you get legal help? Should you talk to the bank? Should you wait for your ex? Should you apply for parenting arrangements? Should you start disclosure? Should you sell the house? Should you stay for the kids? Everything feels tangled, and you feel frozen. We break down why this paralysis happens, why it’s normal, and how small, strategic steps can help you get out of emotional and practical limbo. You’ll hear examples from real separations, insights about overwhelm and avoidance, and the surprising reasons so many women stay “stuck” for months — or even years. This episode is your permission slip to take one small step, feel less afraid, and finally understand why your nervous system is doing exactly what it was designed to do. This episode contains general separation discussion, not legal advice. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 — Why Early Separation Feels Impossible: The Chicken & Egg Problem 01:05 — What Keeps Women Stuck in Divorce Limbo 02:28 — Emotional Overload, Fear & Decision Paralysis 04:50 — Separated Under One Roof: Why Nothing Changes 07:14 — “Where Do I Start?” Understanding the Overwhelm 10:40 — The Pressure to Have a Full Plan Before Taking Action 12:33 — Money Fear, Housing Fear & Losing Stability 15:55 — Why Conflict Avoidance Keeps You Frozen 17:48 — Waiting for the Perfect Moment (And Why It Won’t Come) 20:22 — How to Take One Small Step Without Starting a War 23:15 — Using Information to Reduce Fear and Panic 26:44 — What You Can Control vs What You Can’t 29:30 — Making Progress Even When You're Not Ready 32:01 — Reassurance for Anyone Feeling Stuck 35:14 — Final Encouragement: You Don’t Have to Solve Everything Today 🔗 Links & Resources ✨ Download the FREE Divorce Personality Quiz Printable 👉 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/quiz ✨ Join the Newsletter for Bonus Divorce Strategy Tools (We only send practical, supportive content — no fluff.) www.thedivorcecourse.com.au ✨ Safety & Support Resources 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 If this episode helped you feel seen, understood, or just a little less stuck, please follow, rate, and review the podcast. Sharing this episode might give another woman the clarity she desperately needs. /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/40072980

Take the Divorce Personality Quiz: & Learn Why Your Strategy MUST Match Your Ex’s Behaviour 02/05/2026

Take the Divorce Personality Quiz: & Learn Why Your Strategy MUST Match Your Ex’s Behaviour 🎧 Listen to this episode if… You're confused about why your divorce feels so hard You’re not sure how to communicate or negotiate with your ex You suspect you’re dealing with avoidance, conflict, or control or you are a people pleaser. You’re tired of being blindsided and want clarity You want a divorce strategy that matches the actual dynamic you're in You want a downloadable, printable version of the quiz You love practical tools that help you feel calm, informed, and back in control You want to take the quiz and finally understand your ex’s divorce behaviour Trigger warning there are discussions of Family Violence & Coercive Control. Legal Warning: this is not legal advice 📝 Episode Summary In this episode, Laura and Lyn guide you through the 20-question Divorce Personality Quiz, designed to help you identify the divorce pattern you're dealing with Your divorce type affects: your communication strategy your negotiation style whether mediation will work how to set boundaries what evidence you need how to emotionally protect yourself whether safety planning is appropriate You’ll take the quiz with us live inside the episode and learn what each answer (A, B, C, or D) reveals about your ex’s behaviour. This insight can transform your divorce experience by helping you understand what’s really happening and why your current approach may or may not be working. And if you want the free downloadable PDF of the quiz, a printable results sheet, and access to our bonus email guide “How to Strategise Based on Your Divorce Type”, head to: 👉 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au (Join the newsletter and we’ll send the printable straight to your inbox.) This episode includes general behavioural discussion, not legal advice. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 Introduction: What Divorce Type Are You Dealing With? 00:36 Why Identifying Your Divorce Type Matters for Your Strategy 00:58 Overview of the Four Divorce Types: Amicable, Avoidant, High-Conflict & Controlling 01:14 How to Take the Divorce Personality Quiz 01:39 Meet Your Hosts and Episode Overview 02:11 Understanding Divorce Personality Types & Behaviour Patterns 03:15 Divorce Quiz Part 1: Decision-Making, Conflict & Communication 05:51 What Your Answers Mean: Interpreting the First Quiz Results 09:40 Divorce Quiz Part 2: Boundaries, Money Issues & Emotional Safety 19:05 Divorce Quiz Part 3: Rules, Power Imbalances & Information Control 25:23 Final Divorce Quiz Questions + Strategy Insights 30:08 Recognising Manipulative or Controlling Divorce Dynamics 31:41 How to Identify Your Divorce Type From Your Quiz Results 32:30 Amicable Divorce: Strengths, Risks & When It Fails 35:14 Avoidant Ex Partners: Why Progress Feels Impossible 38:23 High-Conflict Divorce Explained: Escalation, Triggers & Survival Strategies 41:16 Controlling or Coercive Ex Partners: Red Flags & Safety Considerations 44:40 How to Create a Safety Plan During Divorce 48:20 Helpful Resources, Support Services & Next Steps 52:49 Final Thoughts: Matching Your Strategy to Your Ex’s Behaviour 🔗 Links & Resources ✨ Download the FREE Divorce Personality Quiz Printable 👉 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/quiz ✨ Join the Newsletter for Bonus Divorce Strategy Tools (We only send practical, supportive content ) ✨ Safety & Support Resources 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 Episodes Mentioned 10 Boundaries You Should Set Up Before Divorce The Purple Book Episode (Coercive Control & Abuse Patterns) The Original “Divorce Personality Types” Episode If this episode helped you finally understand the behaviour you’ve been dealing with, please follow, rate and review the podcast. And don’t forget to grab your FREE quiz download it’s one of the most powerful tools to help you navigate your divorce with clarity and confidence. /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/40000380

10 Things That Quietly Destroy Your Family Court Case (Sometimes before you’ve even gone to court) 01/27/2026

10 Things That Quietly Destroy Your Family Court Case (Sometimes before you’ve even gone to court) 🎧 Listen to this episode if… You’re worried your custody or property case might end up eventually in court. You are preparing for Family Court or worried your case might escalate You want to avoid mistakes that judges hate seeing in parenting or property matters You’re dealing with a high-conflict ex or coercive control You’re self-represented and want to understand what the court looks for You want to protect your credibility and stay child-focused You feel overwhelmed and want to understand how to present better in court You want to understand how Family Court judges make decisions If you're going through separation, divorce, or a parenting dispute in Australia, this episode will help you avoid the most common mistakes people make in the Family Court. These insights can make or break your credibility, influence parenting outcomes, and help you stay calm and strategic throughout the legal process. In this episode, we unpack 10 behaviours that can ruin your case — the things that damage cases, frustrate judges, increase legal costs, and affect how your evidence is viewed. Whether you’re self-represented, considering mediation, managing a high-conflict ex, or worried about how your actions may be interpreted, this conversation will give you clarity on what the court expects from parents. Learn how to stay child-focused, how to avoid actions that look like parental alienation, how to communicate effectively, how to avoid sabotaging your own case, and why honesty, disclosure, and consistency matter so much. If you're feeling overwhelmed, emotional, or stuck in conflict, this episode offers guidance to help you stay grounded and organised. LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This episode contains general discussion only this is not legal advice please always get independent legal advice as each situation is different. Trigger Warning: This episode has some discussions of family violence. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – Introduction: How to Avoid Mistakes That Hurt Your Family Court Case Overview of the most common behaviours that weaken parenting and property cases. 02:07 – Why Judges Prioritise Child-Focused Parenting in Family Court Understanding how child welfare drives decisions and how to demonstrate it clearly. 06:36 – Keeping Emotions Out of Family Court: What Judges Look For Why emotional reactions, venting and accusations can damage your credibility. 13:26 – Presenting Evidence Properly: What Counts in Family Court How to gather, organise and present evidence that the court will actually rely on. 16:59 – The Serious Consequences of Lying or Exaggerating in Court How dishonesty can destroy your case and impact parenting or property outcomes. 21:27 – Disclosure Rules in Property Settlement: What You MUST Provide Explaining financial disclosure obligations and what happens if you don’t comply. 25:26 – Following Court Orders and Deadlines: Why Timing Matters How delays, missed tasks or ignoring directions reflect poorly on your case. 25:58 – Understanding Family Court Practice Directions (CPD Requirements) What the Central Practice Direction means for your behaviour and preparation. 28:40 – Narrowing the Issues Before Court: What Judges Expect You to Do Why bringing every problem to court backfires and how to refine your case. 33:19 – Avoiding Behaviour That Looks Like Parental Alienation How to protect your children and yourself without appearing to obstruct the other parent. 39:43 – Acting Reasonably in Family Court: How It Influences Outcomes Examples of unreasonable behaviour and why judges pay close attention to it. 42:03 – Courtroom Etiquette, Presentation and Final Takeaways How to conduct yourself, communicate effectively, and stay credible throughout your case. 🔗 Links & Resources Free Webinar https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/divorcewebinarregistration The Divorce Course Website – Courses & Support www.thedivorcecourse.com.au 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 Dealing with Narc Lies in court https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SdkXhj3vC2tfO3gDdkM6y?si=P-fwZYVSQxO7JnVs5yYJdw When your ex lies in court Overcoming disclosure delays Disclosure Deadlocks Is your ex hiding assets Central Practice Directions False Accusations of Parental Alienation Handover Hell Family Reports Court Etiquette 💛 Closing Reminder If this episode helped you feel more prepared or confident, please follow, rate, and review the podcast. Your support helps more women find clear, supportive information during their divorce or separation. /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/39903205

Finding Hope Again: The Charity Giving Women a Voice during DV, Coercive Control & Divorce 01/21/2026

Finding Hope Again: The Charity Giving Women a Voice during DV, Coercive Control & Divorce 🎧 Listen to this episode if… You’re going through DV, coercive control, divorce or separation You’ve survived DV and want to help other women going through it You feel alone, isolated, or unsure where to turn You want to hear about real support available for women in crisis You’ve lost hope and need to know good people still exist You want to understand what homelessness really looks like for women You want to connect with a service that listens without judgment You’ve wondered where to get help if you don’t know where to start 📝 Episode Summary If you’ve ever felt invisible, silenced, or completely alone while living through domestic violence, coercive control, separation, or divorce this episode is for you. Today, Laura sits down with Jo West, the founder of 4 Voices, a remarkable charity supporting women experiencing domestic violence, financial abuse, homelessness, social isolation, and coercive control. This episode is different from our usual legal conversations it’s a conversation about hope, humanity, and the power of connection when someone is going through hell and doesn’t know where to turn. Jo shares the reality of what women face when they’re living in fear, why so many are afraid to reach out, and how simple acts of kindness like someone showing up, listening, and seeing you can genuinely change the course of a woman’s life. If you’re struggling right now, this episode will remind you of something important: There are helpers. You are not alone. And there is support waiting for you. TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains general discussion about domestic violence and support, not legal information. Finding Hope Again: The Charity Giving Women a Voice during DV, Coercive Control & Divorce ⏱️ Episode Timeline [00:00] Meet Four Voices: A Support Service for Women Facing DV & Crisis [01:00] Why Women Experiencing Coercive Control Often Feel Too Afraid to Reach Out [02:06] Hidden Homelessness: The Reality for Women Leaving Unsafe Homes [03:41] How Four Voices Uses Human Connection to Support Isolated Women [07:00] What Happens on a Four Voices Support Van Shift [09:04] A Story of Strength: One Woman Starting Over After 25 Years of Abuse [12:33] Financial Abuse, Survival Mode & Why Leaving Is So Hard [14:00] Why Some Women Get Turned Away From Services [16:57] A Phone-Based Support System Designed for Women Who Are Scared to Talk [18:55] Check-Ins, Consistency & Why They Matter for Recovery [20:40] How You Can Help: Volunteering, Corporate Support & Raising Awareness [23:50] Understanding the Hidden Crisis of Female Homelessness [27:23] Misconceptions About DV, Leaving, and Life After Abuse [30:41] Hope Stories: Courage, Connection & What Keeps Jo Going [33:30] Final Message for Anyone Feeling Alone or Hopeless 🔗 Links & Resources Four Voices Charity: Instagram: @4voicesau 1800RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 If in danger, call 000 immediately in Australia 🚨 Support Services (Australia) 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 Safe Beds for Pets (RSPCA) 💛 Closing Reminder If this conversation brought you comfort or hope, please follow, rate, and review the podcast. Sharing this episode could help another woman find the support she desperately needs. /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/39806415

Divorce, Renovations & the Family Home: What the Family Court Really Cares About 01/14/2026

Divorce, Renovations & the Family Home: What the Family Court Really Cares About 🎧 Listen to this episode if… You’re selling the family home during divorce or de facto separation A real estate agent has told you to renovate or stage before selling Your ex wants to delay settlement until renovations are finished You’re stuck with a half-renovated or unfinished house You’ve already spent money on renovations and want to know if it “counts” Your ex is demanding reimbursement for renovations Parents or in-laws contributed money to renovations You’re deciding whether to keep the house, sell it, or buy your ex out Renovations feel emotionally or financially overwhelming right now 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for education only and not legal advice. Please seek your own independent legal, financial, and real estate advice for your situation. 📌 Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence and property damage. Support services are listed below. 📝 Episode Summary Should you renovate or stage the house when you’re going through divorce or is it a costly mistake that keeps you stuck longer than you need to be? In this episode, Mum and I break down renovations, staging, and selling the family home during separation, and what actually matters in property settlements. We talk honestly about when spending money might make sense, when it won’t, and how renovations are often used intentionally or not as a delay tactic or control mechanism. We cover staging versus maintenance, half-finished renovations, DIY disasters, family contributions, damage to property, and how the court really views all of it. Most importantly, we talk about how to decide whether renovations are worth the financial and emotional cost, and how to avoid getting trapped in a house or a settlement that never seems to move forward. 📌 Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence and property damage. Support services are listed below. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 Should You Renovate Before Selling During Divorce? 00:40 Renovations During Divorce: Common Questions Answered 01:09 Legal and Financial Rules Around Renovations 02:03 Staging vs Renovations: What Actually Adds Value? 05:52 Renovation Traps: Delays, Control and Emotional Attachment 08:41 Half-Finished Renovations and Unsellable Homes 13:32 Renovations as Non-Financial Contributions Explained 16:49 Family Loans, Gifts and Renovation Contributions 23:14 Property Damage, Wastage and How Courts Value Homes 23:47 Keep, Sell or Buy Out the Family Home? 24:51 Renovation Reimbursements: Do You Have to Pay Them Back? 26:34 Renovating During Separation: What to Do and What to Avoid 28:51 How Family Law Courts Determine Property Value 30:02 Renovations and Consent Orders: What Courts Will and Won’t Enforce 35:22 Property Valuations in Divorce: What Courts Accept 40:04 Final Thoughts: Avoiding Renovation Mistakes in Divorce 🔗 Links & Resources Support Services (Australia) 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 Related Episodes Selling Your House During Divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/6YUc34CVu6aCmunjQT1Sp6?si=Aks8s1YMTguzG-wyYO33Xw Property Settlement Explained https://open.spotify.com/episode/5WcJwbOkw7UcCdla48EpXj?si=JRrkI8pZRdu6EUn0h8gncw Financial Abuse After Separation https://open.spotify.com/episode/4wxVtk6TOSCgqCJikfk6LD?si=Uxr0alr8TeKwX-WvzKx6Cg 🚨 Support Services (Australia) 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 📌 Legal Disclaimer This episode is for education only and not legal advice. Please seek your own independent legal, financial, and real estate advice for your situation. 🎧 Don’t forget to follow, rate & review! If this episode helped you, please share it you never know who might be stuck in a renovation trap right now. /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/39724470

The 7 Phases of Divorcing a Narcissist (What No One Warns You About) 01/06/2026

The 7 Phases of Divorcing a Narcissist (What No One Warns You About) 🎧 Listen to this episode if… You’re separating or divorcing someone with narcissistic traits Your ex keeps changing tactics and you feel like you’re always one step behind You’ve experienced love-bombing, guilt, threats, or emotional manipulation Your ex is running smear campaigns or trying to control the narrative Money, disclosure, or property settlement keeps getting delayed Your children are being pulled into adult conflict Your ex is using the legal system as a weapon You feel like the abuse didn’t end after separation You want to know what’s coming next before it happens 📌 Legal Disclaimer This episode is for education only and not legal or psychological advice. Please seek your own independent legal support based on your circumstances. 📝 Episode Summary Divorcing a narcissist isn’t just difficult it’s predictable. In this episode, Mum and I walk you through the seven phases most people experience when separating from someone with narcissistic traits, based on what we see every single day in real cases. We talk about how tactics have evolved, why the mask eventually drops, and how emotional manipulation turns into smear campaigns, financial control, legal abuse, and ongoing chaos even after court ends. We’re not diagnosing anyone, and this isn’t about labelling. It’s about pattern recognition. Once you understand the phases, you can stop blaming yourself, protect your boundaries, and make informed decisions instead of reacting in survival mode. 📌 This episode contains discussions around family violence. Support numbers are listed below. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 Divorcing a Narcissist – What to Expect & Why It’s Different 01:50 Narcissistic Traits in Divorce and Separation 02:34 Phase One: Love Bombing, Guilt Tripping & Emotional Manipulation 03:50 How Narcissists Use Legal Delays and Manipulation 07:51 Phase Two: Control Tactics, Hoovering & Threats 11:57 Setting Boundaries When Divorcing a Narcissist 14:22 Phase Three: Smear Campaigns & Image Management Tactics 16:16 How to Protect Yourself Before Things Escalate 18:23 The Financial Motives Behind 50/50 Parenting Claims 18:36 Unethical Family Court Reports & Image Control 19:54 Social Media Smear Campaigns and Reputation Control 22:18 Financial Abuse Through Control and Delay Tactics 26:18 Using Children as Pawns in High-Conflict Divorce 28:47 Manipulating the Legal System After Separation 30:48 Post-Separation Abuse: Chaos and Control After Court 32:42 Final Support, Safety Planning & What to Do Next 🔗 Links & Resources Support Services (Australia) 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 Episodes Mentioned The Narcissist Playbook 10 Boundaries You Must Set in Divorce What About Their Belongings? https://open.spotify.com/episode/2bPd3wWLQh3pzQmL2KCR0v?si=ABBaDvMVRgqnkvfXHJh66A Protecting Your Role as Primary Carer https://open.spotify.com/episode/6oZAEkj18NEcUfJPXP0FOT?si=PR8-zKyXRru7oVeW2Allew Legal & Financial Abuse After Separation https://open.spotify.com/episode/1V23F0O5yhQt9NFLPOu6uJ?si=ZkP-KquxREeTCyQPk8I-TA What If Your Ex Lies in Court? Safety Planning After Separation DARVO in Divorce False allegations of Parental Alienation Resources “Before You Go” Checklist – thedivorcecourse.com.au 🚨 Support Services (Australia) 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 RSPCA Safe Beds for Pets (state dependent) 📌 Legal Disclaimer This episode is for education only and not legal advice. Please seek your own independent legal support based on your circumstances. 🎧 Don’t forget to follow, rate & review! If this episode helped you, please share it — you never know who else needs to hear this before they get blindsided. /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/39623525

Are We De Facto? What It Could Mean for Property, Proof, Time Limits & Your Potential Rights in Australia 12/31/2025

Are We De Facto? What It Could Mean for Property, Proof, Time Limits & Your Potential Rights in Australia 🎧 Listen to this episode if… You’re unsure whether your relationship legally counts as de facto Your ex is denying the relationship, the dates, or the level of commitment You want to know how de facto status impacts property settlement You’ve heard about the 2-year rule and want to know if it applies to you You’re wondering if having kids changes your legal rights You’re not married, but financially tangled, and don’t know where you stand You’re trying to prove you were (or weren’t) de facto You were “separated under one roof” and need clarity You’re with someone who’s still married but claim they’re de facto with you Episode Summary What exactly does it mean to be de facto in Australia? And why does it matter so much when you separate? In this episode, Mum and I unpack de facto relationships in family law in Australia what counts, what doesn’t, and what the court actually looks at when deciding whether a de facto relationship existed. We break down the difference between being married and being de facto, the rules around the two-year relationship requirement, how children change everything, and what happens with short vs long relationships. We also talk through what happens when one person denies the relationship ever existed, how to prove your timeline, and the evidence the court takes most seriously from finances to living arrangements to social media and everything in between. If you’ve ever thought “Are we de facto? Does this count? What does this mean for my rights?” this episode will give you clarity, confidence and the facts that might help you in your situation. 📌 This is general information only. Always seek your own legal support for your exact situation. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – What Is a De Facto Relationship in Australia? A clear explanation of the legal meaning of “de facto” and why it matters. 00:28 – Understanding the Term ‘De Facto’ Under the Family Law Act Breaking down the true definition and what “genuine domestic relationship” actually means. 01:16 – Why De Facto Status Matters for Property and Parenting How your relationship status affects your rights in separation. 01:47 – How to Prove You’re in a De Facto Relationship Evidence, timelines, documents and what the courts look for. 03:50 – Common Myths About De Facto Relationships (Debunked) Misunderstandings about living together, bank accounts, and “we’re not married so it doesn’t count.” 06:46 – Short vs Long De Facto Relationships: What’s the Difference? How the length of the relationship can influence property outcomes. 17:45 – How Having Children Impacts De Facto Separation Why children change eligibility, contributions, and financial outcomes. 19:16 – Contributions in De Facto Relationships Explained Financial, non-financial, homemaking and parenting contributions — what the court considers. 19:49 – Proving a De Facto Relationship: Evidence That Helps Photos, messages, leases, documents and everyday interactions that build your case. 21:44 – What Evidence Can Be Used to Show a De Facto Relationship? From moving-day photos to shared responsibilities — what actually matters. 24:11 – Mediation Options When Your Ex Denies the Relationship How mediation and disclosure work when one person disputes being de facto. 26:55 – Can You Be Married and De Facto at the Same Time? How overlap occurs with affairs, breakups under one roof and blurred timelines. 33:31 – Clarifying the Rules Between Marriage vs De Facto How the law treats both pathways similarly for financial and parenting matters. 34:39 – Final Thoughts: Understanding Your Status and Next Steps Key takeaways on proving de facto status and protecting your future. 🔗 Links & Resources “Before You Go” Checklist – thedivorcecourse.com.au Episodes Mentioned Separated Under one Roof Episode Beyond the Split Understanding Separation Dates Future Needs Cheating and Dating during Divorce 🚨 Support Services (Australia) 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for education only and not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support based on your circumstances. 🎧 Don’t forget to follow, rate & review! If this episode helped you, please share it you never know who else needs this clarity. /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/39571430

Dating During Divorce: What the Family Court Really Thinks About New Relationships 12/24/2025

Dating During Divorce: What the Family Court Really Thinks About New Relationships Listen to this episode if… You’re thinking about dating before your divorce, property or children’s matters are final Your ex has a new partner and you’re worried about parenting or property issues You’re unsure how the court sees new relationships in family law matters You want to know what’s okay, what’s risky, and what doesn’t matter at all Wondering if it’s okay to date while your divorce is still in progress? You’re not alone. In this episode, we unpack the legal, emotional, and strategic impacts of dating during divorce especially when children, property settlements, or court appearances are involved. Whether you’ve just met someone new, or your ex is already flaunting their next relationship, we break down how new partners can influence family law outcomes in both parenting and property matters. We cover the risks, realities, and misconceptions about what the court actually looks at and how to protect your position without putting your future on hold. 📌 Please remember this episode is for general information only and does not replace individual legal or safety advice. For immediate support in Australia, contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732. 🔑 Episode Timeline: [00:00] Introduction: How New Relationships Can Impact Your Divorce Case [01:13] Important Legal Disclaimer and Emotional Trigger Warnings [02:02] Can a New Partner Affect Your Property Settlement in Divorce? [09:35] Understanding No-Fault Divorce and How History Shaped Today’s Rules [15:11] Spousal Maintenance: Does Repartnering Change Eligibility? [19:50] Child Support Implications When a New Partner Has Money [22:11] Parenting Orders and Custody: What Role Do New Partners Play? [25:25] How the Court Prioritizes Children’s Welfare Over Relationship Status [26:03] When (and How) to Introduce Your Kids to a New Partner [28:13] Coercive Control, Repartnering, and Family Court Considerations [30:05] What Are New Partners Responsible for in a Family Law Context? [31:46] Red Flags: What Family Court Looks for in New Relationships [33:34] Raising Concerns About New Partners Without Going to Court [39:43] How to Document and Present Concerns the Right Way [42:51] Does the Court Judge You for Repartnering During Divorce? [45:16] Final Takeaways: Moving Forward with Caution and Clarity 🔗 Links & Resources: Before you go Checklist - Example Safety plans template - Family Court Safety Plan information The Purple Book Episode Links Separated under one roof do’s and don’ts Stuck under one roof what are your options Reporting Family Violence or Coercive Control to Police 🚨 Support Services: Safe Beds RSPCA - check your state for details 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia) Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia) 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia. Warning discussions for Family Violence occur in this episode. 📲 Don’t forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too! ⚠️ Legal Disclaimer & Trigger Warning: This episode is for general education and discussion only. It is not legal advice. Always seek guidance from a qualified legal professional for your specific situation. Discussions of Family Violence and Coercive Control. /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/39525835

From Fear to Freedom: Creating a Safety Plan Before You Need One 12/17/2025

From Fear to Freedom: Creating a Safety Plan Before You Need One Listen to this episode if… You're in a relationship or home where you feel unsafe You’ve left but still don’t feel secure You’re not ready to leave yet but want to prepare You’re supporting someone who may be experiencing abuse You want to understand how to help a friend or loved one stay safe You have a court or mediation event you need to attend with an unsafe ex 📌 Please remember this episode is for general information only and does not replace individual legal or safety advice. For immediate support in Australia, contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732. When things feel uncertain or even unsafe it’s not being paranoid to think ahead. It’s being prepared. In this important episode, we break down what a safety plan actually is, why it matters, and how to build one tailored to your situation. Whether you're living with abuse, planning to leave, or simply want to feel more secure going through the Family Court, we talk through the key steps and considerations from protecting your children to securing your documents and digital life. You’ll learn how safety planning can be a quiet, empowering way to take back control and set up the support you need. I also share resources, tools, and who to call if you want help doing it safely and confidentially. 🔑 Episode Timeline: From Fear to Freedom: Creating a Safety Plan Before You Need One Safety Plans — What They Are & How to Make One 00:00 – Introduction: What is a Safety Plan and Why It Matters Overview of safety planning and who needs one. 02:06 – Why You Might Need a Safety Plan for Domestic Violence Signs, risks, and when it’s time to prepare. 03:41 – Recognising Coercive Control and Hidden Danger Signals How emotional and behavioural control can put you at risk. 07:55 – Step‑by‑Step Guide to Creating Your Safety Plan Essential steps to start planning your safety today. 09:04 – Safety at Home: Preparing for a Potential Escape Practical tips for making your environment safer. 16:33 – Safety Technology: Real‑Time Tracking and Digital Risk Understanding digital abuse and how it affects your plan. 16:57 – Important Documents You Should Have Ready Checklist of documents to keep handy for safety or sudden departure. 17:33 – Leaving Without Explanation: When It’s Necessary How to plan a quiet departure without alerting an abuser. 18:10 – The Power of Code Words and Communication Safety Using discreet signals to reach out for help. 19:20 – Planning Your Escape Route: Fast and Safe Exits How to map out the quickest way out when it’s unsafe to stay. 20:11 – Handling Vehicle Safety and Transport During Escape Car strategies and avoiding being blocked in. 23:29 – Keeping Your Pets Safe During an Escape Plan Options and programs that support pets in family violence situations. 24:22 – Work, Online and Tech Safety Measures Protecting your devices, social media, and work life from monitoring or abuse. 27:00 – Staying Safe After Leaving a Violent Situation Changes to routines, communication, and personal security. 27:56 – Legal Steps to Support Your Safety Plan Protection orders, police involvement, and legal safety mechanisms. 30:58 – Final Thoughts: You Are Not Alone — Support Is Available Encouragement and next steps with reminder resources. 🔗 Links & Resources: Before you go Checklist - Example Safety plans template - Family Court Safety Plan information The Purple Book Episode Links Who gets the Car in the long and short term Separated under one roof do’s and don’ts Stuck under one roof what are your options Reporting Family Violence or Coercive Control to Police 🚨 Support Services: Safe Beds RSPCA - check your state for details 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia) Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia) 📲 Don’t forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too! ⚠️ Legal Disclaimer & Trigger Warning: This episode is for general education and discussion only. It is not legal advice. Always seek guidance from a qualified legal professional for your specific situation. Discussions of Family Violence and Coercive Control. /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/39436280

Divorce Holiday Survival Guide: How to Communicate When It’s Complicated 12/09/2025

Divorce Holiday Survival Guide: How to Communicate When It’s Complicated 💡 Listen to this episode if... You’re navigating Christmas while going through separation or divorce You’re co-parenting and worried about holiday arrangements or conflict You feel pressure from family and don’t know how to handle it You’re confused about what to expect from lawyers or the courts over the break You’re worried about an emotional or legal crisis over the holidays ⚠️ Legal Disclaimer & Trigger Warning: This episode is for general education and discussion only. It is not legal advice. Always seek guidance from a qualified legal professional for your specific situation. Discussions of Family Violence and Coercive Control. Holidays can bring joy, but during separation or divorce, it can also bring stress, confusion, and conflict. If you’re dreading the tough conversations this holiday season, you’re not alone and this episode is here to help. Mum and I walk through how to manage communication with all the key players during the festive period: your co-parent, your lawyer, your kids, extended family, and even the courts or police. Whether you’re trying to set healthy boundaries, stuck living under one roof, or bracing for something to blow up we’ve got practical strategies to get you through it. ⏱️ Episode Timeline: 00:00 – Introduction: Navigating the Holidays During Divorce 01:52 – Communication Challenges for Divorcing Couples During the Holidays 03:10 – Should You Talk to Your Divorce Lawyer Over the Holiday Break? 06:00 – Co-Parenting Holiday Conflicts & Practical Solutions 13:19 – Managing Property Settlements During the Holiday Season 18:33 – Living Together While Separated: How to Handle the Holidays 22:55 – How to Communicate Holiday Plans with Your Kids During Divorce 26:44 – When to Reach Out to the Court During Holiday Disputes 26:57 – Understanding Court Closures & Delays Over the Holidays 28:06 – Urgent Divorce Matters: Emergency Contacts & What to Do 28:41 – How to Document Incidents for Court During the Holidays 29:16 – Handling Non-Emergency Divorce or Co-Parenting Issues 33:26 – When to Contact the Police During Divorce or Custody Conflicts 37:46 – Setting Boundaries with Family During a Holiday Divorce 39:16 – Creating Emergency Plans & Safety Measures 44:47 – Mental Health Tips for Coping with Divorce During the Holidays 47:04 – Engaging with Your Community for Support 48:07 – Final Thoughts & Holiday Farewell Resources Central Practice Directions Free Disclosure Checklist Episode Links From no no no to Ho Ho ho in your divorce Christmas & CoParenting Separated for the Holidays How to deal with it emotionally CoParenting without Court Orders Handover Hell Separated under one roof do’s and don’ts Stuck under one roof what are your options Reporting Family Violence or Coercive Control to Police 🚨 Support Services: 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia) Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia) 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia. Warning discussions for Family Violence occur in this episode. 📲 Don’t forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too! /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/39334760

Smart Negotiation at Every Stage of Divorce: Do’s, Don’ts & Power Moves 12/04/2025

Smart Negotiation at Every Stage of Divorce: Do’s, Don’ts & Power Moves 💡 Listen to this episode if... You're preparing for mediation or trying to negotiate privately What to learn the potential do’s and don’ts of negotiations in divorce You feel like your ex is “sitting pretty” and not engaging You want to know the difference between reasonable and risky offers You’ve made concessions early on and don’t know how to recover You want to avoid court, but still get a fair deal You are in court and want it over ⚠️ Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general education and discussion only. It is not legal advice. Always seek guidance from a qualified legal professional for your specific situation. ⏱️ Episode Timeline: Smart Divorce Negotiation Strategies That Actually Work 00:00 – Introduction to Divorce Negotiation Strategies Why negotiation matters and how to approach it with confidence. 00:33 – Meet the Hosts + Legal Disclaimer Who we are and a reminder this episode is for educational purposes only. 01:15 – Understanding the 3 Stages of Divorce Negotiation How strategy shifts between early separation, mediation, and court prep. 03:40 – Early Stage Negotiation Tips: Don’t Rush, Repackage Your Offer Using smart presentations to make your offer sound more appealing. 07:54 – Mediation Tactics: Window Dressing and Framing Percentages How to reshape your proposal to match your ex’s language and values. 20:04 – Mid-Stage Negotiation: When to Turn Up the Heat Signs it’s time to get firmer and more structured in your approach. 22:05 – Using Real Court Cases to Support Your Offer Legal precedents and examples that make your proposal more persuasive. 26:09 – Common Myths and Mistakes in Divorce Negotiation Misunderstandings around legal advice and negotiation timelines. 27:29 – The Risk of Delaying Legal Action Too Long What happens when you wait too long to formalize your agreement? 28:01 – Understanding Pre-Action Procedure Letters and Legal Guidelines What they are, why they matter, and how they shape negotiation. 28:58 – Using Legal Costs as a Leverage Tool How to show what delays or refusals could cost in real terms. 29:23 – Should You Mention Court in Negotiation? When and Why Using the “threat of court” wisely to re-engage a stalled process. 33:02 – Smart Strategies for Writing Pre-Action Letters How to set the tone and expectations before heading to court. 34:53 – Court Door Negotiation Tactics: Calderbank Offers and Timing Last-minute strategies that could settle your case without trial. 38:53 – Do’s and Don’ts of Divorce Negotiation The best and worst moves people make—and how to avoid mistakes. 51:21 – Final Thoughts: Confidence, Control, and Long-Term Focus Why the goal is clarity, closure, and fairness—not “winning.” 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia. Warning discussions for Family Violence occur in this episode Resources Central Practice Directions Free Disclosure Checklist FCFCOA Judgements - Cases Episode Links Pitfalls of percentages in Negotiations Early On Boundaries in Divorce Costs and Calderbank Offers Divorce Dynamic, balancing power with progress From no no no to Ho Ho ho in your divorce 🚨 Support Services: 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia) Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia) 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. 📲 Don’t forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too! /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/39263420

Divorce Overwhelm – 8 Ways to Stay Sane When Everything Feels Urgent 11/26/2025

Divorce Overwhelm – 8 Ways to Stay Sane When Everything Feels Urgent Listen to this episode if… You're feeling emotionally overloaded Everyone around you has an opinion and it’s stressing you out You're being pushed to make decisions faster than you’re ready for You’re not sure what’s a legal deadline vs. emotional urgency You’re feeling pressure from all sides to get things sorted You are overwhelmed 📌 Legal Disclaimer & Trigger Warning: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia. Warning discussions for Family Violence occur in this episode. Are you feeling completely overwhelmed by your separation or divorce? Like everything is urgent, everyone needs something from you You are not alone and this episode is here to help. In this conversation, Mum and I walk through 8 practical ways to calm the chaos, slow things down, and take back control of your divorce journey. We cover emotional overwhelm, confusing legal pressure, and the early survival strategies that can make all the difference. Whether you’re still in shock or already knee-deep in logistics, this episode is your gentle reminder that you don’t have to do it all at once and you shouldn’t. ⏱️ Episode Timeline: Divorce Overwhelm – 8 Ways to Stay Sane When Everything Feels Urgent 00:00 – Introduction: Overcoming Divorce Overwhelm Why everything feels urgent—and how this episode can help you breathe again. 00:21 – Feeling Pressured to Make Fast Decisions During Divorce How panic can lead to poor choices and what to do instead. 00:28 – 8 Practical Strategies to Regain Control in Separation Overview of what you’ll learn and how to use these tips right away. 00:51 – Welcome and What This Episode Covers Who this episode is for and why this conversation matters. 01:08 – The Stress of Divorce Deadlines and Decision Fatigue How urgency from lawyers, family, or your ex can overwhelm you. 03:17 – Legal vs. Emotional Deadlines: Know the Difference Understanding what’s truly urgent and what can wait. 06:50 – The Emotional Shock of a Breakup Why you’re not functioning “normally” and that’s okay. 13:48 – Setting Boundaries with Family and Friends During Divorce How to protect your peace from well-meaning (but draining) input. 19:48 – Prioritizing Safety, Shelter, and Stability First Triage your needs: food, housing, money, transport before anything else. 23:34 – Recognizing and Responding to Financial Abuse What financial control looks like—and how to get support. 24:09 – Why Self-Care Is Essential, Not Optional Simple ways to take care of yourself when everything feels like too much. 28:10 – Making Space for Grief and Emotional Recovery Letting yourself feel, cry, and heal without guilt. 30:41 – How Learning the Process Can Help You Feel Empowered Education as a tool to reduce panic and increase confidence. 34:32 – Creating a New Divorce Routine That Works for You Using structure and small steps to take back control of your life. 39:29 – Final Thoughts: You’ve Got This, One Step at a Time Encouragement, next steps, and reminding you—you’re not alone. Resources Central Practice Directions Free Disclosure Checklist Episode Links Boundaries in Divorce 🚨 Support Services: 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia) Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia) 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. 📲 Don’t forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too! /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/39175055

Family Law Myths: Don’t Fall for These 5 During Separation 11/19/2025

Family Law Myths: Don’t Fall for These 5 During Separation Listen to this episode if… You're in the middle of a separation and unsure what advice to follow Friends, family, or Facebook have told you "what to do" You’ve heard you can’t leave the house without losing everything You feel pressured not to bring up domestic violence You’re confused about disclosure, super splitting, or property rights 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia. ALSO TRIGGER WARNING Discussions of Family Violence Have you been told that if you leave the house, you lose everything? Or that you shouldn't mention domestic violence in family court? These are just a few examples of the harmful myths in Australia we hear all too often in separation and divorce. In this episode, Laura & Lyn expose some of the worst legal advice circulating in family law and explain why it can derail your case, delay your outcome, or damage your safety and rights. They break down five of the most common (and dangerous) misconceptions, share what the law really says, and help you feel more confident about asking the right questions of your lawyer and making informed decisions. ⏱️ Episode Timeline: Episode 221 Family Law Myths Don’t Fall for These 5 During Separation 00:00 – Introduction: Debunking Common Family Law Myths Why bad legal advice is everywhere—and how it can derail your case. 01:42 – The Real Impact of Misinformation in Separation and Divorce What happens when you follow outdated or incorrect legal advice. 05:37 – Myth #1: “If You Leave the House, You Lose Your Property Rights” Why leaving the family home doesn’t mean forfeiting your share. 12:48 – Myth #2: “You Must Have Every Document Before You Can Settle” The truth about financial disclosure and realistic expectations. 19:40 – Myth #3: “Don’t Mention Domestic Violence in Court” How this dangerous myth puts safety and outcomes at risk. 24:19 – Understanding Family Violence and Property Entitlements How abuse can affect how assets are divided. 25:19 – Should You Mention Domestic Violence in Family Court? Legal perspectives on disclosure and protection. 25:50 – Spousal Maintenance: Know When and How to Ask Why it’s often overlooked—and how to advocate for yourself. 26:43 – Myth Busting: Are Addbacks Still Used in Property Settlements? Clarifying a misunderstood financial concept in family law. 28:57 – Myth #5: “Superannuation Must Be Split 50/50” Exploring how super splitting really works under Australian law. 32:16 – How to Educate Yourself and Work Better with Your Lawyer Tips for being informed, assertive, and legally empowered. 35:32 – Final Thoughts and How to Enrol in the Divorce Course Practical next steps and how to get more support. 41:53 – Listener Reviews and Community Shoutouts Sharing your feedback and how to get involved. Resources Central Practice Directions Free Disclosure Checklist Episode Links Superannuation and Equalising super 🚨 Support Services: 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia) Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia) 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. 📲 Don’t forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too! /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/39090865

Child Inclusive Mediation: Risks, Realities, and Red Flags 11/12/2025

Child Inclusive Mediation: Risks, Realities, and Red Flags Listen to this episode if... You’ve been offered child inclusive mediation and don’t know what to expect You’re worried about how separation is affecting your child You’re in a high-conflict co-parenting situation or dealing with coercive control You’ve been told that involving your child in mediation will “help” You want to make informed, child-centered decisions in your family law journey 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia. In this powerful episode, Mum and I dive into a topic that’s being promoted more and more in family law: Child Inclusive Mediation. On the surface, it sounds like a child-focused solution. But is it really in the best interest of your child? We break down what child inclusive mediation actually involves, why it’s not always as neutral or helpful as it’s made out to be, and the serious emotional and legal implications it can have especially in high-conflict separations or situations involving coercive control. From personal reflections to legal insights, we share why we're concerned about this process and what you need to consider before agreeing to include your child in any mediation setting. What You'll Learn What child inclusive mediation really means in practice The difference between therapeutic support vs. pressure on children to speak up When this process might backfire emotionally or legally Why family reports may be a safer and more protective alternative Red flags and questions to ask before you say yes ⏱️ Episode Timeline: Is Child Inclusive Mediation Helpful or Harmful? 00:00 – Introduction: What Is Child Inclusive Mediation? An overview of this growing mediation trend in family law and why it’s controversial. 01:29 – How the Mediation Process Works in Parenting Disputes Understanding how mediation fits into separation and custody discussions. 03:44 – Defining Child Inclusive Mediation in Australian Family Law Breaking down what actually happens when children are included in mediation. 05:52 – The Risks and Red Flags of Child Inclusive Mediation Emotional pressure, manipulation, and when this process may do more harm than good. 08:00 – Confidentiality Issues and the Emotional Toll on Children What children are told, how their information is used, and the psychological impact. 13:42 – The Problem with Over-Interviewing Children in Family Law Why repeated interviews can traumatize kids and undermine the process. 20:00 – Real Concerns About Child Inclusive Mediation in Practice Legal and ethical questions raised by lawyers, parents, and professionals. 21:07 – How Child Inclusive Mediation Affects Older Children Teen-specific concerns, autonomy, and the danger of putting kids in the middle. 23:42 – Family Reports vs. Child Inclusive Mediation A safer alternative? What to expect from a court-ordered family report. 24:41 – DIY Divorce Blueprint: Free Resource Mentioned How to get practical tools to guide you through separation and co-parenting. 28:27 – Key Questions to Ask Before Agreeing to Child Inclusive Mediation What to consider if this process has been suggested to you. 32:49 – Final Thoughts: Protecting Your Child’s Voice and Mental Health Wrapping up with a parent-first, child-protective perspective. Resources Central Practice Directions Free Disclosure Checklist 🚨 Support Services: 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia) Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia) 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. 📲 Don’t forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too! /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/39004835

Co-Parenting Without Court Orders: The Real Rules and Red Flags You Need to Know 11/04/2025

Co-Parenting Without Court Orders: The Real Rules and Red Flags You Need to Know Listen to this episode if... You’re newly separated and trying to figure out parenting arrangements. You don’t have court orders yet and things are already getting tense. Your ex is unreliable, manipulative, or emotionally unpredictable. You're feeling pressured to agree to arrangements that feel unsafe or unfair. You want to avoid court but don’t want to be taken advantage of. Trying to co-parent after separation without court orders? This episode offers a general discussion that may help you better understand the common challenges many face during this stage. Mum and I talk through the confusion, conflict, and emotional chaos that often arise when parenting without formal agreements in place. We explore how co-parenting typically unfolds in the early days post-separation, the general differences between parenting plans and court orders, and what can happen when one parent starts making sudden changes like; withholding time with the kids, shifting pick-up arrangements, or insisting on “rules” that were never agreed upon. If you’re feeling unsure about whether to formalize your arrangements, being pressured into something that feels unfair, or just don’t know where to start, this episode provides a helpful overview, insights, and discussion points to consider. Please remember this is not legal advice. Always speak with a qualified professional for advice on your specific situation. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. This discussion is based in Australia. Co-Parenting Without Court Orders: The Real Rules and Red Flags You Need to Know Episode Timeline Summary: 00:00 – Introduction: Co-Parenting After Separation Setting the stage for co-parenting challenges in the early days of separation. 01:23 – Myths and Misunderstandings About Separation Rules What many parents get wrong after they separate—and what’s important to know. 03:42 – How to Decide Where the Kids Live After Separation Living arrangements, routines, and initial decisions—without court orders. 07:48 – Co-Parenting with a Manipulative or Controlling Ex Recognizing red flags and what to consider if you're being pressured or gaslit. 13:46 – Strategies for Co-Parenting with an Avoidant Ex When your ex won’t engage or avoids parenting responsibilities. 18:40 – Managing High-Conflict Co-Parenting Situations What to do when emotions run high and agreements fall apart. 20:45 – Parenting Plans vs Court Orders: What’s the Difference? Legal strength, enforceability, and when each option makes sense. 24:02 – Making Parenting Agreements Without Going to Court What to include, how to approach it, and setting healthy boundaries. 24:31 – Signs You’re Dealing with a Manipulative Co-Parent Control tactics, emotional abuse, and maintaining your parenting role. 25:40 – Do You Need Court Orders or Is a Parenting Plan Enough? Legal protections and risks of informal arrangements. 28:38 – What to Do When Your Ex Avoids All Responsibility How to respond when you're carrying the full parenting load alone. 31:31 – High-Conflict Parenting Post-Separation Tips for managing ongoing disputes and protecting the kids. 33:51 – When Your Ex Ignores the Parenting Agreement Understanding your rights and the next steps if the agreement isn’t followed. 35:02 – When to Consider Court Orders: Timing and Triggers Knowing the signs that it’s time to formalize your parenting arrangement. 40:04 – Family Violence, Supervised Contact & Legal Protections When safety becomes an issue—and what support is available. 47:43 – Final Thoughts: Stay Grounded and Protect Your Peace Encouragement, next steps, and key reminders moving forward. Resources Central Practice Directions Free Disclosure Checklist Episode Links The Hidden Connection between Property and Parenting in Divorce 10 Essential Boundaries in Divorce 🚨 Support Services: 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia) Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia) 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. 📲 Don’t forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too! /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/38909090

Business Tricks in Divorce: 10 Sneaky Tactics to Watch Out For and Outsmart! 10/29/2025

Business Tricks in Divorce: 10 Sneaky Tactics to Watch Out For and Outsmart! Listen to this episode if... You're divorcing or separating from someone who owns or runs a business. You're in a family business with your ex and things are getting murky. You suspect your ex is hiding assets or undervaluing the business. You’re overwhelmed by the complexity of business valuations in divorce. You're preparing for mediation or court and want to understand your options. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. Divorcing a business owner or running a business with your soon-to-be ex? You must hear this. In this eye-opening episode, Mum and I dive into the most common and sneaky tricks business owners use during separation and how to stay one step ahead. From manipulating business valuations to hiding assets in clone companies, refusing disclosure, and even dragging staff into the mess, we break down each tactic with real-world examples and strategies you can use. Whether you're preparing for mediation or already deep in the property settlement process, this is a must-listen for anyone who suspects their ex isn't playing fair when a business is involved. Episode Timeline Summary: Business Tricks in Divorce: 10 Sneaky Tactics to Watch Out For and Outsmart! 00:00 – Intro: Divorce and Business Ownership Understanding why divorcing a business owner is uniquely challenging. 01:06 – Real-Life Divorce Scenarios with a Business Involved What happens when you're in business with your ex—or they own one. 03:02 – Trick #1: Making the Business Seem Worthless How business owners hide value before property settlement. 08:12 – Trick #2: Starting a New Business to Hide Assets The “mirror business” strategy and how to uncover it. 09:26 – Trick #3: Issuing New Shares to Dilute Ownership What to do when your share of the business suddenly shrinks. 12:41 – Trick #4: Hiding Income and Creating Fake Tax Debts How income manipulation affects child support and property division. 17:58 – Trick #5: Refusing to Allow a Business Valuation Steps to take when your ex delays or avoids business valuation. 19:58 – Legal Disclaimer: General Education Only Reminder to seek personal legal advice for your situation. 20:39 – How Courts Handle Business Valuation & Disclosure Why you don't need full financial disclosure to move forward. 21:31 – Trick #6: Cooking the Books & Cash Deals Spotting hidden income, second books, and cash-based deception. 26:39 – Trick #7: Financial Abuse via Job Loss or Sacking What to do when your ex cuts your income post-separation. 32:01 – Trick #8: Superannuation and Self-Managed Funds Risks of SMSFs and how assets may be hidden or misused. 36:39 – Court Penalties for Business-Related Divorce Tricks When shady business tactics backfire in property settlements. 40:36 – Listener Review & Free Coaching Call Giveaway Shoutout to a listener + how to win a free call with Mum. Resources Central Practice Directions Free Disclosure Checklist Shinohara & Shinohara [2025] FedCFamC1A 126 (23 July 2025) Shamon & Shamon [2025] FedCFamC1A 150 (8 September 2025) Episode Links Your Business and Divorce (old episode) Weapons of Tax Destruction DIY Disclosure 🚨 Support Services: 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia) Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia) 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/38819365

Is My Co-Parent a Narcissist? Warning Signs, Boundaries & How to Protect Your Kids 10/22/2025

Is My Co-Parent a Narcissist? Warning Signs, Boundaries & How to Protect Your Kids 🎧 Listen to this episode if… You constantly walk away from conversations with your ex feeling drained, confused, or second-guessing yourself. Co-parenting feels more like a battleground than teamwork. You suspect your ex might be narcissistic or manipulative, but you’re not sure what to do about it. You want to learn how to protect your children emotionally while staying calm and in control. You’re tired of being baited into fights and want tools to respond, not react. ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and trauma recovery. 📌 Disclaimer: This episode is for general information and education only. Please seek your own legal, psychological, or medical support for your specific circumstances. 📑 💻 https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au What You’ll Learn: Is My Co-Parent a Narcissist? Warning Signs, Boundaries & How to Protect Your Kids 💔 Recognising the Signs: Mia explains how narcissistic or high-conflict co-parents reveal themselves — through blame-shifting, entitlement, image obsession, and control. ⚖️ The Court Reality Check: Lyn shares why using the word “narcissist” in court can backfire — and how to instead describe their behaviours (the “ingredients” rather than “the cake”). 🧱 Setting Boundaries That Stick: How to stop being pulled into chaos, manage constant conflicts, and accept “who you’re dealing with” so you can regain power. 🧒 Protecting the Kids: Red flags to watch for in how your ex uses or manipulates the children — and how to model calm, consistent parenting when they don’t. 💬 Parenting Teenagers of Narcissistic Exes: Mia and Lyn dive into the tricky years — when kids start echoing their narcissistic parent’s behaviour — and how to hold firm without turning into your ex. 💪 Your Healing & Hope: Why the most powerful move isn’t “winning” against your ex — it’s rebuilding your self-trust, removing their emotional “buttons,” and staying in your own lane. 🔗 Guest Expert Mia from Grey Rock Consulting — https://www.greyrockconsulting.com.au/ Lawyer, founder, and Australia’s first certified Master High Conflict Negotiation Coach (trained by Rebecca Zung). Mia helps clients and lawyers navigate high-conflict personalities with strategy, clarity, and self-preservation. ⏱️ Episode Timeline – 00:00 — Intro: Are You Co-Parenting with a Narcissist? Signs to Watch For 00:34 — Meet Mia from Grey Rock Consulting: Expert in Narcissists & High-Conflict Exes 02:11 — What Narcissistic Co-Parenting Really Looks Like (and Why It’s So Draining) 13:51 — How Narcissistic Co-Parenting Affects Kids Emotionally and Psychologically 18:25 — Setting Boundaries with a Narcissist: Staying Calm & In Control 21:49 — What to Include (and Avoid) in Parenting Orders or Plans 26:22 — Custody Chaos: When Your Narcissistic Ex Twists the Rules 26:45 — Unexpected Changes & Power Plays: How to Handle Parenting Plan Disputes 27:32 — Dealing with Difficult Co-Parents Who Refuse to Cooperate 29:12 — Emotional Recovery: Healing After Narcissistic Abuse 29:53 — When to Push Back (and When to Let It Go) in Co-Parenting Conflicts 35:08 — Teenagers & Narcissistic Parents: What to Do When Kids Mirror the Ex 37:38 — Maintaining Boundaries, Consistency & Emotional Safety at Home 40:39 — Becoming the Positive Role Model Your Kids Need 43:22 — Focusing on You: Self-Growth, Strength & Rebuilding Confidence 46:44 — Where to Get Help: Support, Counselling & Co-Parenting Resources 49:15 — Final Thoughts: Finding Freedom from a Narcissistic Co-Parent Related Episodes: Is it emotional abuse? Post Divorce Glow Up Divorcing an abuser 🎙️ https://open.spotify.com/episode/4P1DjaMtXTq2sbel4qywew 🎙️ https://open.spotify.com/episode/00kTon70LllVE97X8zn9vK 🚨 Support Services (Australia): 1800 RESPECT – Family Violence Support Lifeline 13 11 14 – Crisis Support Police – Call 000 if you are in danger ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and situations that may feel unsafe. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/38738585

The Post-Divorce Glow-Up: Steps to Emotional Recovery after Abuse 10/15/2025

The Post-Divorce Glow-Up: Steps to Emotional Recovery after Abuse 🎧 Listen to this episode if… 💔 You’ve left an abusive relationship but still feel stuck, numb, or confused. 🧠 You’re trying to understand why you still feel controlled, scared, or exhausted. 💬 You want to know what healing actually looks like and how long it takes. 💪 You’re ready to start finding yourself again after years of walking on eggshells. 🌸 You want to rebuild your confidence, identity, and hope for the future. 💫 You just need to hear that full recovery is possible ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and trauma recovery. 📌 Disclaimer: This episode is for general information and education only. Please seek your own legal, psychological, or medical support for your specific circumstances. Leaving an abusive relationship doesn’t mean the pain or confusion stops overnight. In this heartfelt episode, Laura and Lyn are joined by clinical psychologist Krazi Kirova, who specialises in trauma recovery and emotional abuse. Together, they explore what happens after you leave the emotional crash, the exhaustion, and eventually, the glow-up. You’ll learn what the research says about post-separation abuse, why healing takes time, and the eight key stages of recovery every survivor eventually moves through. Krazi shares powerful, evidence-based insights on rebuilding safety, identity, and connection and why the “post-divorce glow-up” you see online is about so much more than appearance. If you’re in that stage where you feel broken, tired, and unsure of who you are this episode is for you. It’s about hope, self-reclamation, and the small steps that slowly lead to peace, power, and joy again. ⏱️ Episode Timeline – The Post-Divorce Glow-Up: Healing After Abuse 00:00 – Introduction: Leaving abuse and why the pain doesn’t stop overnight 01:00 – Support reminder: Lifeline, 1800 RESPECT, and why safety comes first 02:00 – What keeps you stuck after leaving an abusive partner 03:00 – Why recovery can’t begin until you feel physically and emotionally safe 05:00 – The psychological “hurricane” of separation — and why it gets worse before it gets better 07:00 – Understanding post-separation abuse and coercive control 09:00 – How predictability helps survivors regain power and calm 11:00 – How courts are improving in recognising coercive control and trauma 12:00 – The physical and emotional depletion from years of abuse 13:00 – The “post-divorce glow-up” — and why your energy eventually returns 17:00 – How long does it really take to heal after abuse? 18:00 – What research says about recovery — it’s not linear 19:00 – The 8 key tasks for healing and recovery 20:00 – Step 1: Establishing safety — physical, emotional, and financial 22:00 – Step 2: Educating yourself and re-examining the relationship 25:00 – Step 3: Rebuilding identity — remembering who you are 29:00 – Step 4: Rebuilding social connections and support networks 32:00 – Step 5: Being selective about who you let in — healthy relationships only 33:00 – Step 6: Taking time before dating again 35:00 – Step 7: Embracing freedom, autonomy, and decision-making 38:00 – Step 8: Accepting recovery as a process — patience and self-kindness 42:00 – Courts and trauma-informed change in the family law system 44:00 – Step 9: Healing mentally and physically — reconnecting with your body 46:00 – The power of community, spirituality, and belonging in recovery 47:00 – Final reflections: “It’s a journey — and you are getting somewhere.” Resources Mentioned: 🧩 https://kirovapsychology.com.au/personal-resources/ 📑 💻 https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au Related Episodes: 🎙️ Is it emotional abuse? Divorcing an abuser 🎙️ https://open.spotify.com/episode/4P1DjaMtXTq2sbel4qywew 🎙️ https://open.spotify.com/episode/4WQhunLQVtWn02k5FT7Mpv 🎙️ https://open.spotify.com/episode/00kTon70LllVE97X8zn9vK 🚨 Support Services (Australia): 1800 RESPECT – Family Violence Support Lifeline 13 11 14 – Crisis Support Police – Call 000 if you are in danger ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and situations that may feel unsafe. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. /episode/index/show/thedivorcecoursepodcast/id/38587095

The Divorce Course Podcast

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