#4/10 The Child Who Seemed Alright

Welcome to “The Empowering Story,” where we dive deep into the truths that often go unspoken. In this episode, “The Child Who Seemed Alright,” Jean Dorff, trauma-informed narrative coach and survivor, shares his personal journey and invaluable insights for educators, parents, and anyone who cares about keeping children safe. This candid discussion reveals why trauma often hides in plain sight and what adults must do to truly notice—and support—children who are suffering.

Episode Overview

Jean reflects on his experience as a child survivor of abuse, explores the patterns that keep trauma hidden, and offers practical, compassionate advice for recognizing and responding to the understated cries for help that so many children send out. Drawing on 30+ years of working with survivors and based on Shawn Dorff’s article and poem “The Child Who Seemed to Be Alright,” this episode is a must-listen for anyone hoping to break the cycle of silence and empower healing.

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Jean’s 10 Biggest Takeaways

1. Trauma is Often Hidden Behind “Good” Behavior
   The children most in need of help are often the ones praised for their maturity, responsibility, and silence—their survival depends on appearing fine.

2. Children Rarely Disclose Abuse Directly
   Most children communicate trauma through metaphors, fragmented stories, or behaviors, not direct statements. 80% initially deny or hesitate to disclose—and most accidental disclosures are missed.

3. Peer Disclosure is Far More Common Than Adult Disclosure
   Children are much more likely to tell a friend than an adult. However, peers often lack the understanding and authority to intervene.

4. Red Flags Aren’t Always Obvious
   Sudden regressions, perfectionism, somatic complaints, changes in art/music, and an overly calm demeanor are all signs adults frequently overlook.

5. Silence is a Survival Strategy
   Children hide abuse, not out of mistrust, but to protect themselves, their families, and even their parents from consequences they fear.

6. Common Myths Create Blind Spots for Parents
   Believing “my child tells me everything” or “it can’t happen here” dangerously closes adults off from seeing reality.

7. Adult Responses Shape Future Disclosure
   Minimizing, overreacting, questioning, moralizing, or remaining silent can permanently shut down a child’s willingness to speak up.

8. Containment is Key—Not Investigation
   When a child shares a fragment of truth, adults should aim to anchor safety, believe first, and invite (not demand) more sharing, without pushing for details.

9. Education & Conversation Need to Start Early and Continue
   Teaching children about body safety, boundaries, and consent must start from the earliest age, and remain ongoing—not just a one-time talk.

10. Self-Regulation Enables Support
    Adults must regulate their own nervous system before responding, so the child feels safe to exhale and trust them. The best help is a calm, present adult who listens without flinching.

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How You Can Support a Child

• Trust your intuition: persistently odd behaviors may be subtle signals of distress.

• When in doubt, prioritize creating emotional safety over perfect words.

• Avoid pressing for details or expressing doubt—your belief is the bridge to healing.

• Normalize conversations about bodies, boundaries, and secrets.

• Know you’re not alone: seek resources and support for both survivors and those supporting them.

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Resources Mentioned

• Trauma-informed narrative coaching at theempoweringstory.com

• Community and survivor support: [e-mail]

• Show notes include recommended organizations for crisis support and survivor recovery.

 

 

 

 

Resources for Support and Further Learning

If you're supporting a child through disclosure or processing your own history of childhood trauma, you don't have to do it alone.

For immediate crisis support:

• National Child Abuse Hotline: [phone] (24/7)

• Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)

• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

For parents and educators:

• Darkness to Light: Stewards of Children training program

• National Center for Missing & Exploited Children: NetSmartz resources

• Child Advocacy Centers: Find local support at nationalcac.org

For survivors ready to reclaim their voice:

At The Empowering Story, we work with survivors of childhood trauma who are ready to transform their silence into a story. Through trauma-informed narrative coaching, we guide you through a structured, safe process of writing your truth—not for exposure, but for integration and empowerment.

This isn't therapy. It's authorship. It's reclaiming your voice through the power of your own narrative.

If you're ready to explore what it means to tell your story in a way that heals rather than retraumatizes, learn more about our coaching programs and survivor community at The Empowering Story. https://theempoweringstory.com or [e-mail]

 

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About Jean Dorff

Jean Dorff brings decades of lived experience, healing, and teaching to this episode. His vulnerability and expertise help adults understand what children cannot always articulate, and remind survivors that reclaiming your story is possible—with compassion and community.

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Thank you for listening to this vital conversation. If this episode helped you see differently, share it with someone who needs it—and help build environments where every child’s truth is safe enough to land.