141. The Secrets Of Desire, Arousal & Sexual Well-Being | With Dr. Rachel Rubin
The Intimate Marriage Podcast, with Intimacy Coach Alexandra Stockwell, MD
Release Date: 08/30/2023
The Intimate Marriage Podcast, with Intimacy Coach Alexandra Stockwell, MD
What if deeper intimacy begins by facing the emotions you’ve been avoiding? In this episode of the Intimate Marriage Podcast, Dr. Alexandra Stockwell explores why avoiding emotional pain is blocking you from true pleasure. Discover how emotional numbness doesn’t just protect you from hurt—it also dulls your capacity for joy, passion, and connection. Learn what it really means to embrace Uncompromising Intimacy and why the courage to feel it all is the key to a more vibrant, emotionally rich relationship. This episode breaks down how: Avoiding pain also blocks pleasure and...
info_outlineThe Intimate Marriage Podcast, with Intimacy Coach Alexandra Stockwell, MD
Is it possible for a long-term marriage to become more fulfilling over time, better than the early years of dating and the newlywed phase? (We’re talking all aspects of marriage, including sex!) In this episode of The Intimate Marriage Podcast, Drs. Alexandra and Rodd Stockwell share their real-life journey through many phases of their marriage—from tending small children, to the early years of demanding careers, to a deeper, more connected relationship in midlife. Through honest communication and shared effort, they prove that lasting love is something you can cultivate and lean into, as...
info_outlineThe Intimate Marriage Podcast, with Intimacy Coach Alexandra Stockwell, MD
Intentional love isn’t just a goal—it’s a daily practice. Ling and Lamb, married content creators, beloved influencers, and authors, exemplify this through their blend of playful pranks and honest conversations. In this episode of The Intimate Marriage Podcast, Dr. Alexandra Stockwell chats with Ling and Lamb about how they’ve mastered the art of blending humor, culture, extreme differences in upbringing, and deep connection. He grew up in Nigeria. She grew up in Connecticut. They have had to learn SO MUCH about one another in order to enjoy a vibrant intimate marriage. Now their...
info_outlineThe Intimate Marriage Podcast, with Intimacy Coach Alexandra Stockwell, MD
Craving more presence, passion, and real connection in your relationship? This episode is your gentle nudge to slow down, truly show up, and deepen intimacy in a meaningful way. In today’s episode, Intimacy Coach Alexandra Stockwell, MD dives into the issue of modern technology and other common distractions that pull us away from meaningful moments—and shares simple but powerful tools like deep breathing and emotional honesty to bring you back. Learn how being fully present can transform your intimate experiences and help you shift from feeling distracted to deeply connected. In...
info_outlineThe Intimate Marriage Podcast, with Intimacy Coach Alexandra Stockwell, MD
AI offers surprising insights on a whole range of topics, and in this episode of The Intimate Marriage Podcast, Dr. Alexandra Stockwell describes how to use the principles of AI to improve communication and connection in your marriage. Dr. Alexandra suggests that talking to your partner the way you need to in order to get the best results from AI—with clarity, specificity, and enough details to make the response useful–leads to clear, kind, honest, and connecting communication with your spouse. This results in more emotional closeness and erotic fulfillment. This episode...
info_outlineThe Intimate Marriage Podcast, with Intimacy Coach Alexandra Stockwell, MD
What happens when a couple navigates libido mismatch—and how can they reconnect without feeling broken or disconnected? In this episode, Dr. Alexandra Stockwell talks with somatic sex therapist Susan Morgan Taylor, MA about overcoming desire differences and reigniting sexual intimacy in marriage. Drawing from her own suffering in a sexless marriage, Susan shares how emotional awareness, communication, and tension release can unlock deeper pleasure and connection. Whether you're navigating mismatched sex drives or simply craving more closeness, this conversation offers real, practical tools...
info_outlineThe Intimate Marriage Podcast, with Intimacy Coach Alexandra Stockwell, MD
Whose needs should you prioritize for a lasting marriage—yours or your spouse's? What if there’s a "third" that matters even more? In this episode, Dr. Alexandra Stockwell shares personal reflections on the occasion of her daughter’s wedding, while detailing the powerful concept of “the third”—viewing the marriage itself as a living entity, distinct from each person in it. By prioritizing the relationship over individual needs, couples will deepen intimacy, prevent resentment, and build a lasting partnership. Whether you're newly engaged or decades into marriage, this episode...
info_outlineThe Intimate Marriage Podcast, with Intimacy Coach Alexandra Stockwell, MD
Is altering your state of mind the key to deeper connection and high performance? In this episode, Dr. Alexandra Stockwell talks with the “Father of Biohacking” and Founder of Bulletproof Coffee, Dave Asprey, about how meditation, biohacking, and consciousness boost personal growth and improve relationships. Drawing from his new book Heavily Meditated, Dave shares tools like the “reset process” to clear emotional triggers, and explores how sexual energy deepens intimacy. He also explains how brief moments of discomfort can boost motivation. This conversation is full of practical tips...
info_outlineThe Intimate Marriage Podcast, with Intimacy Coach Alexandra Stockwell, MD
Are you experiencing true sexual fulfillment—or are you just rushing to the finish line? In this episode, Dr. Alexandra Stockwell teaches you to slow down and savor each moment, in order to enjoy more pleasure and connection during intimacy. Using the analogy of enjoying delicious chocolate cake, she explores the power of anticipation, mindfulness, and prolonged arousal. Dr. Alexandra shares actionable tips to enhance intimacy, extend build-up, and shift your focus from quick gratification to a more fulfilling, connected sensual experience. Tips in this episode: Anticipate and...
info_outlineThe Intimate Marriage Podcast, with Intimacy Coach Alexandra Stockwell, MD
Porn addiction among high-performing men is more common—and more misunderstood—than most people realize. In this eye-opening episode of the Intimate Marriage podcast, Dr. Alexandra Stockwell welcomes back expert Roland Cochrun to discuss his new book, 'The High Achiever’s Guide to Sex Addiction Recovery'. Known for his groundbreaking insights into sex and porn addiction, Roland breaks down the crucial difference between substance and process addiction—where individuals become hooked not on external substances but on internal thought patterns and behaviors. Together, Dr. Alexandra...
info_outlineAlexandra Stockwell, MD, is joined by Dr. Rachel Rubin, a renowned urologist and sexual medicine specialist, to discuss sexual medicine, as well as the art/science driving sexual desire.
Dr. Rubin emphasizes the vital importance of a biopsychosocial approach to sexual medicine, highlighting the significance of understanding a patient's background and their goals for enhancing their quality of life. She defines sexual medicine, discusses when to seek help and addresses issues like low desire and arousal. Dr. Rubin recommends various treatment options, including the use of devices (ie. vibrators) for enhancing intimacy. The conversation takes a personal turn as she shares she’s happily married with a supportive partner.
Also in this episode:
- How do you define sexual medicine?
- Why Dr. Rubin considers herself a sex detective
- Low desire is a common problem for both men and women
- Why it’s important to ask patients about libido, masturbation techniques, cultural and religious issues, and childhood trauma
- Erectile dysfunction is a marker for cardiovascular disease in men and women
- Where to find more information about sexual health products
- How our personal experiences influence our practice of medicine
About Dr. Rachel Rubin:
Dr. Rachel Rubin is a board-certified urologist and sexual medicine specialist. She is an assistant clinical professor of Urology at Georgetown University and owns her private practice in the Washington DC region. She is one of only a handful of physicians fellowship trained in both male and female sexual medicine. Dr. Rubin is a clinician, researcher, and vocal educator in the field of sexual medicine. She completed her medical and undergraduate training at Tufts University, her urology training at Georgetown University, and her fellowship training under Dr. Irwin Goldstein in San Diego. In addition to being the education chair for the International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health (ISSWSH), she also serves as an Associate Editor for the Journal Sexual Medicine Reviews. Her work has been featured in the NYT, PBS and NPR.
Connect With Dr. Rachel Rubin
Rachelrubinmd.com | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | Threads
Links mentioned in the episode:
Promescent Devices | Mystery Vibe
Subscribe To The Intimate Marriage Podcast:
Apple Podcast | YouTube | Spotify
Connect With Alexandra Stockwell, MD:
Website | Linkedin | Instagram
Download the first chapter of Dr. Alexandra’s bestselling book, “Uncompromising Intimacy,” here: https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/book
Cultivate your intimacy skills (without compromise) in Aligned & Hot Marriage, Dr. Alexandra’s proven method for smart couples ready to love more fully. www.alignedhotmarriage.com
Join my email list to stay connected–it’s where I share my latest insights and offer opportunities for live Q & A. https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/subscribe
About Alexandra Stockwell, MD
Known as “The Intimacy Doctor,” Alexandra Stockwell, MD is a Relationship and Intimacy Coach and an Intimate Marriage Expert who specializes in coaching ambitious, successful couples to build beautiful, long-lasting, passionate relationships. She is the bestselling author of “Uncompromising Intimacy,” host of The Intimate Marriage Podcast and creator of the Aligned & Hot Marriage program.
For over two decades, she’s been guiding men and women to bring pleasure and purpose into all aspects of life— from the daily grind of running a household to creating ecstatic experiences in the bedroom—all while maintaining extraordinary professional success!
This Podcast Is Produced, Engineered & Edited By: Simplified Impact
The Intimate Marriage Podcast, With Intimacy Coach, Alexandra Stockwell, MD