How I Ended My High-Achieving Mom Guilt with Christie Heppenstall

Christie Heppenstall, a Coach & Time Strategist, joins Aaron this week to tell her story about how she stopped the cycle of high-achieving mom guilt by changing her thoughts and drinking habits.

 

christieheppenstallcoaching.com

instagram.com/christieheppenstallcoaching

thekindoflove.com

Instagram.com/Aarontosti

SHOW NOTES

:25 min Aarons Talks

So since I’ve started this podcast it’s been centered around having a better relationship with yourself and reframing, rethinking, reimagining what it looks like on the life and love you desire. 

 

Sometimes you have to ask yourself if what you’re doing is serving your higher good and the good for those around you. 

 

Life happens, things come up, habits get forms.. you continue grow into who you want to be or someone you don’t want to be. It’s more about how you respond to life relationships love all of it

 

This weeks guest is my new wonderful friend Christie Heppenstall who is a transformational coach that works around time management but her discovery around being a high achieving human and the coping mechanism she fell into..

 

 A very socially acceptable copy mechanism… A glass of wine.

 

 every day to lessen the stress around being a high achieving businesswoman and mom.

 

I think for a lot of us and especially if you’re a parent who is also having a full-time job or a business owner it’s easy to slip into habits that make the hard parts of life even harder.

 

Really wanted Christie to start off by sharing her story around how she freed herself from mom guilt by stop drinking.. and continued her path as a high achieving businesswoman… just by observing her thinking.

 

3:30 min

Christie Begins telling Aaron her story about how she quit drinking.

She had equated her achievements at work with her self-worth.

6 min

Christie was doing well achieving until she had kids. And got really into time scheduling hacks. She realized she couldn’t control everything in her environment.

She would get into cycles where she was ambish

Christie thought by playing more additional roles she could get ride of mom guilt. 

She tried to solve her feelings by doing more and playing all of these roles..

 

8:30 min
Her mantra was “I’m fine” mixed with perfection and having to do everything at her best.

Christie would hit overwhelm. She had to wear the mask of “ having it all together.”

She would try to be zen, and trying to solve an emotional by doing a thing even if that means trying to let go.

 11:00 min

Christie started ramping up the habit of drinking a glass of wine, which she refers to as her BFF. 

She thought her companion, the glass of wine, would help her. And she never suspected there was a problem.

She would start bargaining and justifying drinking, and realizing that it’s totally socially acceptable.

14 min

Aaron asks Christie what the tipping point was how that changed things for her.

Christie has an extensive coaching background but she found a new book that was noting that all behavior comes from a feeling. 

 

15 min

Christie asked herself what she was feeling when she went to go have a glass of wine

The gateway into having a better life was quitting alcohol. Anything you do is because of what you feel, and what you feel is from a thought. Christie didn’t think it could be that simple and so she tried it.

 

17:30 min

She has a desire and a craving, but it was all centered around thinking “I deserve this”

She questions her thoughts. Is that what she wanted?

She gently let go of those thoughts.

 

19 min

Christie completely quite like a miraculous sobriety.

Aaron pauses Christie for a moment to ask about all of the detachment that has to happen biologically and if she considers that cold turkey.

Christie says cold turkey is out of will power, but this was different.

The beliefs around her desires just weren’t true.

 

21 min

She realized she had 20 years of beliefs that were convincing her to drink. Christie says, alcohol is the only drug you have to justify not using.

It became a personal challenge to question her thoughts. She started Slowing down and questioning everything.

 

23:30

in February 2020 Christie’s mom got diagnosed with cancer and she was the only sibling that was in the same state to help her.

 

24:45 min

Aaron asks Christie how the alcohol was effecting your marriage.
When she looks at her husband she still sees the core of her husband. Christie said her husband responded with “What a cute little phase”.

They wondered how it might change their relationship, but it didn’t.

 

 

26:45 min

We can evolve in our own ways and be ok with each other changing. Aaron says thats the most power thing to love someone through the different phases of life.

Christie was forever changed from what she learned from that time period. 

 

28:45 min Aaron Closes

Hey thanks so much for listening if you enjoy this episode and either had an aha moment or thought having a better relationship with yourself we’d love to hear about it. Please leave us a  podcast review it always helps others become aware of this podcast and my passion to help people love themselves better through self-awareness.

 

If you’d like to follow or connect with Christie you can do still on Instagram.com/christieheppenstallcoaching or christieheppenstallcoaching.com

 

Make sure to stay tune for next episode when I speak with Christie about how time management in your life is a love language of it’s own.

 

If you are feeling hurt and heartbroken and want to reclaim a better relationship with yourself and have more self-worth so you can feel confident in hole a person. I’d love to support you. You can connect with me on Instagram at Aarontosti [email protected]

 

You’ve been listening to TKOL podcast

 

I’m Aaron.

Best of love to you