Intimacy From The Inside Out with John Palmer
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
Release Date: 01/24/2025
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
Britt Frank escaped a cult, rebuilt her life after addiction, and is one of the most grounded, funny, and inspiring IFS speakers and educators around. In this week’s episode, we talk about her new book , and how parts work helped her move from chaos to clarity. We get into all of it...motivation, procrastination, inner critics, cults, menopause, and what alignment looks like beyond the buzzwords. Britt shares how she uses parts language in her own life, how she reframes procrastination as protection, and why your most extreme parts might actually be your best coaches. She also opens up about...
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In this week's episode I welcome three guests--Robin Barre, Ann-Katrin Bockmann, and Kasra Mirzaie--to talk about IFS and working with teenagers. We explore how IFS often skips over this phase of life, both in how we work with clients and how we relate to our own inner adolescent parts. We tend to romanticize childhood or focus on early wounding, yet there’s a lot of cringing and avoiding when it comes to the teenage years. Adolescence is where so much transformation happens. It’s where meaning gets made. It’s when parts start to emerge with passion, intensity, and voice. My guests are...
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I’m so thrilled to welcome Dick Schwartz, the founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS), back to the podcast, as well as my friend Ocean, who brings her voice and lived experience to this important conversation. Today, we explore the intersection between IFS and the plural community--those living with DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) and OSDD (Other Specified Dissociative Disorders). What’s the difference between DI parts and the IFS parts many of us talk about? How can we bridge misunderstandings between the IFS community and those living with more distinct parts? This...
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On today's episode I chat with Susan Stiffelman, a licensed marriage and family therapist, author, parenting coach, and host of the Parenting Without Power Struggles podcast. We talk about parts, of course. Parenting parts. Spiritual seeker parts. Inner children who hide behind locked doors. And how she gently helps people return to center. Susan shares stories from her work and from her own life, including how she stayed connected to herself (and her child) during a divorce, and why she believes parenting is one of life's most profound trailheads. Key takeaways from this episode: ...
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On today’s episode I meet Jessica Laurel Kane, a writer, illustrator, and storyteller whose new book, , captures the spirit of Internal Family Systems in such an authentic and creative way. Jessica isn’t formally trained in IFS, but she lives it and teaches it through her stories, illusrations, and books. She discovered IFS organically during a slient retreat and got to know her inner world by interviewing her parts--like characters in a story. Her work shows how imagination can be a healing tool. She makes “being with your parts” feel accessible, visual, and real. This...
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On today’s podcast, I chat with Dr. Irina Diyankova, certified IFS therapist, IFS clinical consultant, and Lead Trainer with the IFS Institute. We explore the fascinating intersection of IFS and neurodivergence, a topic she knows intimately from both her lived and professional experience. We talk about time blindness, sensory sensitivities, what gets mistaken for trauma but might be hardwiring, and how IFS therapists can differentiate. We also get into self-accommodation, the limits of coping skills, and why healing through IFS is a lifelong journey. I loved my conversation with Irina and...
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On today’s podcast, I chat with Ashley Booth, a psychedelic-assisted psychotherapist, trainer, researcher—and former oceanographer! Ashley’s new book, , is beautifully written and illustrated, accessible, and deeply rooted in IFS. We talk about why she chose to create a picture book for adults, how parts mapping can be playful and powerful, and how IFS and psychedelics both point us toward connection with our parts, with the natural world, and with something larger than ourselves. Ashley shares her journey from marine science to healing work, the grief that led her there, and the awe and...
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On today’s podcast, I chat with , a certified IFS therapist and longtime member of the IFS community. Tanis has been around since the earliest days of the model, and she just released a new book called The Self-Led IFS Workbook: Learn IFS Skills to Understand and Love All Your Parts published by Penguin Random House. We talk about her early experiences learning IFS in the ‘90s, her work with clients struggling with suicidality and eating disorders, and what it was like to write a book that makes the model accessible to everyone. Tanis shares insights on how to begin IFS on your own,...
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On today’s podcast, I chat with two brilliant IFS lead trainers, Pam Krause and Crystal Jones. We learn about their journeys to becoming IFS lead trainers, the evolution of the model's cultural awareness and inclusivity, and what it’s been like to co-lead the newly updated IFS Online Circle together. We also dip our toes into a little controversy—should we skip the 6Fs? I loved hearing from them what it means to stay grounded in the core of the model while continuing to expand and evolve with care, community, and curiosity. Key Takeaways: “The core of the model has not changed at...
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On today’s podcast we celebrate 200 episodes of The One Inside! I take the guest’s seat as my podcasting partner and co-producer, Jeff Schrum, leads the interview. We reflect on six seasons of guests, the show's impact on my life and work with clients, and why unblending is the real magic of IFS. We also dive into creative projects on the horizon, including my new mini-book on numbness and launching The One Inside Substack community. Key Takeaways: Jeff and I talk about the fun behind the scenes of finding guests, editing interviews, creating show notes and graphics, and releasing...
info_outlineOn today’s episode I’m joined by John Palmer, a certified IFS practitioner and lead trainer in Intimacy From the Inside Out (IFIO). John brings 30 years of experience working with individuals and couples to explore how IFIO applies the principles of Internal Family Systems (IFS) to intimate relationships.
We discuss relational dynamics, including the concept of tracking sequences, differentiation, and how past experiences influence present connections.
Key Takeaways:
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IFIO uses IFS principles to help individuals and partners explore relational dynamics and improve communication.
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Differentiation is the ability to stay connected to your own system while maintaining connection with your partner, even during conflict.
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How protectors and exiles show up in relational dances
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The importance of taking responsibility for one’s own parts in a relationship while remaining open to connection with a partner
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How practicing Self-Led communication can transform conflict into opportunities for healing and growth.
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How do past experiences shape the way we respond to our partners in the present?
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Tracking sequences in relationships reveals the protective cycles that keep partners stuck and highlights the underlying vulnerabilities driving conflict.
Favorite Quote:
"There's actually some vulnerability under there that's driving this dance. And if we can learn how to help the protectors trust enough of Self to let that vulnerability emerge and be looked at and healed, then the protectors don't have to do what they do anymore." – John Palmer
About John Palmer:
John Palmer is a certified IFS practitioner, IFIO lead trainer, and couples therapist with three decades of experience. He integrates IFS with systemic relational approaches to help individuals and partners build stronger, more compassionate connections.
Episode Sponsor: IFS Institute
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Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside Podcast. He is a writer, counselor, and IFS Level 1 practitioner.
Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start.
Sign up for Tammy's email list and get a free "Get to know a Should part of you" meditation on her website
Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program.
If you are interested in sponsoring an episode or two of The One Inside Podcast please contact Tammy at [email protected]