Intimacy From The Inside Out with John Palmer
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
Release Date: 01/24/2025
Mastering Direct Access in IFS with Dave Adamusko
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
On this week's episode I'm thrilled to have my friend and colleague, Dave Adamusko, join me to demystify "direct access"—a powerful technique that allows IFS practitioners to speak directly to a client's parts. Dave and I dive deep into why direct access is so essential, especially for clients with trauma histories or deeply blended parts who might struggle with more traditional "insight" methods. Dave leads me in a brief session to demonstrate explicit direct access, engaging with a part of me that was feeling annoyed and ignored, and we trace its origins back to a childhood experience. It...
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Parenting, Parts, and Repair with Anna Purpero
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
What if the magic in parenting doesn’t happen in the moment you get it right, but in the moment you come back and repair? This week, I talk with educator, children’s book author, and Self-led parent Anna Purpero, and I just loved this conversation so much. Anna has two little boys and a big heart, and she shares so honestly about what happens when our protectors take over in parenting and how IFS helped her find a new way forward. We talk about: What happens in our bodies when our kids fight (and why we feel like we're in danger) Why repair — not perfection — is the real magic The...
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Align Your Mind with Britt Frank
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
Britt Frank escaped a cult, rebuilt her life after addiction, and is one of the most grounded, funny, and inspiring IFS speakers and educators around. In this week’s episode, we talk about her new book , and how parts work helped her move from chaos to clarity. We get into all of it...motivation, procrastination, inner critics, cults, menopause, and what alignment looks like beyond the buzzwords. Britt shares how she uses parts language in her own life, how she reframes procrastination as protection, and why your most extreme parts might actually be your best coaches. She also opens up about...
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Honoring Teen Parts with Ann-Katrin Bockmann, Kasra Mirzaie, and Robin Barre
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
In this week's episode I welcome three guests--Robin Barre, Ann-Katrin Bockmann, and Kasra Mirzaie--to talk about IFS and working with teenagers. We explore how IFS often skips over this phase of life, both in how we work with clients and how we relate to our own inner adolescent parts. We tend to romanticize childhood or focus on early wounding, yet there’s a lot of cringing and avoiding when it comes to the teenage years. Adolescence is where so much transformation happens. It’s where meaning gets made. It’s when parts start to emerge with passion, intensity, and voice. My guests are...
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We're All Multiples: Bridging IFS and the Plural Community with Dick Schwartz and Tiffany "Ocean" Morgan
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
I’m so thrilled to welcome Dick Schwartz, the founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS), back to the podcast, as well as my friend Ocean, who brings her voice and lived experience to this important conversation. Today, we explore the intersection between IFS and the plural community--those living with DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) and OSDD (Other Specified Dissociative Disorders). What’s the difference between DI parts and the IFS parts many of us talk about? How can we bridge misunderstandings between the IFS community and those living with more distinct parts? This...
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Which Part Is Parenting with Susan Stiffelman
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
On today's episode I chat with Susan Stiffelman, a licensed marriage and family therapist, author, parenting coach, and host of the Parenting Without Power Struggles podcast. We talk about parts, of course. Parenting parts. Spiritual seeker parts. Inner children who hide behind locked doors. And how she gently helps people return to center. Susan shares stories from her work and from her own life, including how she stayed connected to herself (and her child) during a divorce, and why she believes parenting is one of life's most profound trailheads. Key takeaways from this episode: ...
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Silence, Stories, and Self: My intuitive path to parts work with Jessica Laurel Kane
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
On today’s episode I meet Jessica Laurel Kane, a writer, illustrator, and storyteller whose new book, , captures the spirit of Internal Family Systems in such an authentic and creative way. Jessica isn’t formally trained in IFS, but she lives it and teaches it through her stories, illusrations, and books. She discovered IFS organically during a slient retreat and got to know her inner world by interviewing her parts--like characters in a story. Her work shows how imagination can be a healing tool. She makes “being with your parts” feel accessible, visual, and real. This...
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Is It Trauma or Neurodivergence with Irina Diyankova
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
On today’s podcast, I chat with Dr. Irina Diyankova, certified IFS therapist, IFS clinical consultant, and Lead Trainer with the IFS Institute. We explore the fascinating intersection of IFS and neurodivergence, a topic she knows intimately from both her lived and professional experience. We talk about time blindness, sensory sensitivities, what gets mistaken for trauma but might be hardwiring, and how IFS therapists can differentiate. We also get into self-accommodation, the limits of coping skills, and why healing through IFS is a lifelong journey. I loved my conversation with Irina and...
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Quieting The Storm Within with Ashley Booth
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
On today’s podcast, I chat with Ashley Booth, a psychedelic-assisted psychotherapist, trainer, researcher—and former oceanographer! Ashley’s new book, , is beautifully written and illustrated, accessible, and deeply rooted in IFS. We talk about why she chose to create a picture book for adults, how parts mapping can be playful and powerful, and how IFS and psychedelics both point us toward connection with our parts, with the natural world, and with something larger than ourselves. Ashley shares her journey from marine science to healing work, the grief that led her there, and the awe and...
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Making IFS Accessible with Tanis Allen
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
On today’s podcast, I chat with , a certified IFS therapist and longtime member of the IFS community. Tanis has been around since the earliest days of the model, and she just released a new book called The Self-Led IFS Workbook: Learn IFS Skills to Understand and Love All Your Parts published by Penguin Random House. We talk about her early experiences learning IFS in the ‘90s, her work with clients struggling with suicidality and eating disorders, and what it was like to write a book that makes the model accessible to everyone. Tanis shares insights on how to begin IFS on your own,...
info_outlineOn today’s episode I’m joined by John Palmer, a certified IFS practitioner and lead trainer in Intimacy From the Inside Out (IFIO). John brings 30 years of experience working with individuals and couples to explore how IFIO applies the principles of Internal Family Systems (IFS) to intimate relationships.
We discuss relational dynamics, including the concept of tracking sequences, differentiation, and how past experiences influence present connections.
Key Takeaways:
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IFIO uses IFS principles to help individuals and partners explore relational dynamics and improve communication.
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Differentiation is the ability to stay connected to your own system while maintaining connection with your partner, even during conflict.
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How protectors and exiles show up in relational dances
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The importance of taking responsibility for one’s own parts in a relationship while remaining open to connection with a partner
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How practicing Self-Led communication can transform conflict into opportunities for healing and growth.
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How do past experiences shape the way we respond to our partners in the present?
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Tracking sequences in relationships reveals the protective cycles that keep partners stuck and highlights the underlying vulnerabilities driving conflict.
Favorite Quote:
"There's actually some vulnerability under there that's driving this dance. And if we can learn how to help the protectors trust enough of Self to let that vulnerability emerge and be looked at and healed, then the protectors don't have to do what they do anymore." – John Palmer
About John Palmer:
John Palmer is a certified IFS practitioner, IFIO lead trainer, and couples therapist with three decades of experience. He integrates IFS with systemic relational approaches to help individuals and partners build stronger, more compassionate connections.
Episode Sponsor: IFS Institute
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Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside Podcast. He is a writer, counselor, and IFS Level 1 practitioner.
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Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program.
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