IFS Therapy for Gay and Queer Men with Max Littman
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
Release Date: 11/18/2025
Externalizing IFS for Neurodivergence and Complex Trauma with Irina Diyankova
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
Today I welcome Irina Diyankova back to the podcast. Her last episode, was one of our most popular. This time we explore what happens when "going inside" during an IFS session becomes hard for clients. She finds this is especially true with neurodivergent and C-PTSD clients. Irina shares why externalization can be so helpful in these cases. Instead of relying only on what’s happening internally, bringing things outside, like mapping, speaking out loud, connecting visually or relationally, really help. We also talk about how IFS isn’t a cookie-cutter model. We all...
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IFS for Everyday Life with Joanna Curry-Sartori
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
On today’s episode, I talk with Joanna Curry-Sartori, founder of the Self-Leadership Collaborative and author of The Self-Led Educator. We explore this idea of how to bring IFS into everyday life, to invite more Self Energy into our conversations and interactions. Joanna teaches us her PAUSE model, a five-step process to help you slow things down and notice what’s happening inside before you respond. Sometimes it's in moments where you can feel yourself starting to react, or a conversation begins to shift. Instead of pushing through, you pause, get curious about your parts,...
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An Army of Healers with Nitsan Joy Gordon
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
On today’s episode I welcome Nitsan Joy Gordon, a dance movement therapist, IFS practitioner, and peacebuilder who lives in Israel. Nitsan shares about growing up in Israel, living near the border, and what it’s like to live in a place where war and trauma have been part of daily life for generations. She also tells the story of how Internal Family Systems changed her own life. A powerful experience at Esalen with Dick Schwartz inspired her to use IFS in her work back home. Nitsan leads an organization bringing Israelis and Palestinians together to transform pain through deep listening...
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Are You Mad At Me? with Meg Josephson
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
On today’s episode I welcome psychotherapist and author Meg Josephson to the podcast. Her book Are You Mad at Me? names something so many of us feel but rarely say out loud: Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me? Meg and I talk about the fawn response, people-pleasing, and the parts of us that learned early on to stay ahead of conflict. We explore how “being nice” can disconnect us from ourselves, why grief and anger are essential to healing, and how mindfulness helps us slow down enough to notice what’s really happening inside. If you’ve ever swallowed your needs to keep the...
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Integrating IFS and Listening Therapies with Marcella Cox
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
In today’s episode, I welcome my friend Marcella Cox back to the podcast. Marcella is a certified IFS therapist, approved consultant, and somatic IFS assistant trainer. She’s also a certified Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP) and Rest and Restore provider, and the lead author of the new guidelines for integrating IFS with these listening therapies. We talk about: The basics of polyvagal theory How our nervous system states impact our parts Why co-regulation is central to healing The difference between SSP (connection to others) and Rest and Restore (connection to Self) How listening...
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The Courage to Start with the Ending - with Keith Miller and Courtney Corona
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
On today's episode I chat with Keith and Courtney, cohosts of the podcast . Keith is licensed therapist and a Level 3 IFS Consultant, and Courtney is journalist and podcaster. They joined me to share their beautiful, messy love story. We dive into the courage it takes to start over, the "trauma" of the dating apps, and how they’ve used Internal Family Systems (IFS) and psychedelics to navigate the "breakups, breakdowns, and breakthroughs" of their relationship . We discuss: Starting relationships with truth instead of performance. Radical transparency — “starting with the ending”...
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Our Parts Are Angels In Disguise with David Stern
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
On today's episode I welcome my friend David Stern to the podcast. This conversation feels so perfect right now. It’s full of the kind of hope we all need. David has this beautiful way of seeing the spiritual dimension in everything we do. David calls us to remember our "Pure Soul"—the part of us that is already peaceful and cannot be destroyed. He talks about parts as "angels in disguise," the ones inside that have taken on difficult roles to protect that inner light. If you’re looking for a way to stay connected to yourself in a chaotic world, this episode is a sacred reminder that...
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When The World Feels Too Heavy with Daphne Fatter
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
In this episode, I’m joined by my friend Daphne Fatter for a timely and honest conversation about what so many of us are navigating right now, as therapists, as parents, and as humans living in a polarized and chaotic time. We talk about nervous system overwhelm, numb and checked-out parts, news consumption, activism, community connection, and how to stay grounded when things feel "too much." We also touch on Daphne’s new book: Integrating Internal Family Systems Interventions into EMDR Therapy. In this episode: Why so many of us feel numb, frozen, or checked out right now Normalizing...
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Integrating IFS and EMDR with Bruce Hersey, David Polidi, and Joanne Twombly
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
Today I welcome David Polidi, Bruce Hersey, and Joanne Twombly on the podcast to talk about their new book, We talk about why this book is needed, what it took to bring together more than 20 contributors, and why integrating these models can create more options, more flexibility, and more hope for clients. We talk about: Bringing together 21 contributors and creating a true community project Why integration can help when clients get stuck in one modality The idea that there is a natural, underlying healing process beyond any single model Coping skills, resourcing, and the...
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Inside IFS with Richard Schwartz and Jeanne Catanzaro
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
Today’s episode is a little different, in a really wonderful way. I sit down with Dick Schwartz and Jeanne Catanzaro, President and Vice President of the IFS Institute, and partners in both leadership and life. This isn’t a traditional interview; it’s more like listening in on friends and colleagues talking about the things they care about, the serious, the personal, and the very human. I’ve been feeling curious about what’s happening inside IFS leadership right now. The model keeps growing, reaching more people, and carrying more responsibility with it. I wanted to hear directly...
info_outlineIn this episode, I talk with Max Littman, an IFS therapist, consultant, and writer. Max’s new book, Internal Family Systems Therapy for Gay and Queer Men: A Companion for After Coming Out, launched the morning we recorded this conversation.
His work centers on attachment, attunement, cultural burdens, and the relational impact of trauma — especially for gay and queer men who are still healing the parts shaped by growing up without safety, guidance, or representation.
We talk about why this book matters, the parts that continue to carry burden even after coming out, and the places where Queer identity, family dynamics, and IFS meet.
“Unburdening offers an opportunity to reclaim a personal embodied sense of spirituality, one that honors our inherent worth and belonging.”
Max shares his own story of growing up without language for his identity, the isolation he felt as a teen, and how those experiences shaped his clinical work. He describes a part he calls “teen without guidance,” and the insight that came from recognizing how much that part still needed care.
Together, we explore:
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What coming out doesn’t automatically heal
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The “teen without guidance” part and why it matters
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How cultural, religious, and family burdens live in the system
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The longing for belonging and its impact on relationships
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How IFS helps gay and queer men reclaim sexuality, connection, and choice
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The role of community, experimentation, and attunement in healing
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The challenge of navigating adulthood with fewer developmental and relational experiences than many same-aged peers received
Be sure to check out Max's blog that I keep hearing so much about.
And don't miss my extended interview with Max over on Substack for paid subscribers.
About Max Littman
Max Littman is an IFS therapist, consultant, and writer based in Oakland. He works at the crossroads of Queer healing, trauma recovery, and attachment. His debut book, Internal Family Systems Therapy for Gay and Queer Men, is available now. Learn more or connect with him at maxlittman.com.
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by the Unblend.me web app. You know those moments between sessions when something comes up and you need a gentle nudge to pause, slow down and go inside? The Unblend app helps you do just that. It's IFS informed, HIPAA compliant, and guides you through checking in with your parts to calm your nervous system. Learn more and try it for free at Unblend.me
About The One Inside
I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that’s still at the heart of all we do.
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Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more.
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Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store.
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Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube.
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Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.
I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach.
Resources
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New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.
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Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get “Get to Know a Should Part” right away.
Sponsorship
Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.