Zoe Blaskey - Freedom from Perfectionism TPPP17
Release Date: 03/13/2020
The Upsides of Enforced Slowness in Lockdown with Carl Honoré TPPP36
The Parent Practice Podcast
If you’re feeling really over the whole pandemic thing this episode will lift your spirits. The Covid-19 pandemic has certainly changed our lives. We’ve been forced to accept changes to the way we live in order to try to control the disease, some of which have been inconvenient, to say the least. Some families have found the enforced lockdown extremely difficult and for some isolation has really affected their mental wellbeing. But it hasn’t been all bad. Carl Honoré has written extensively about the benefits of slowing down –he calls it embracing our ‘inner tortoise’ - and...
info_outline
Juliet Richards - Navigating Anxiety TPPP35
The Parent Practice Podcast
We are all aware that anxiety is a growing problem amongst our littlies, our tweens and our teens, and a recent Bristol University Longitudinal study ( ALPSAC) has identified that anxiety amongst our young people, children and teenagers has risen over the past 3 months of the pandemic from 13% to 24% during the crisis. So this podcast helps parents understand it and most importantly gives some top tips re what can be done to manage anxiety, reduce stress and how to respond to it. Our guest today is Juliet Richards, who has been part of the facilitation team here at The Parent Practice since...
info_outline
Louise Treherne - Helping Children Cope with the Return to School TPPP34
The Parent Practice Podcast
Some of you will have children who have already returned to school, albeit part time, and some of you will have children who will be returning for the first time in September, so this episode has relevance for everybody whatever transition you are going through. Some children are terribly excited about going back and some are quite apprehensive. And parents may have mixed feelings too. Our guest today is Louise Treherne who is Head of Character Education at ‘Role Models’, an organisation which supports children to be resilient and creative problem solvers. Louise has a degree in...
info_outline
Michele Borba - Raising empathetic children in an all-about-me world TPPP33
The Parent Practice Podcast
There is no doubt that in this era of the Covid-19 pandemic there has been a huge amount of uncertainty and with that some anxiety. You may be feeling some anxiety yourself and perhaps your children are too. Well, the antidote to stress is empathy and our guest today has many, many ideas about how you can build empathy in your children. Dr. Michele Borba is an educational psychologist and former classroom teacher who is recognised globally as a parenting, bullying and character expert whose aim is to strengthen children’s empathy and resilience, and break the cycle of youth violence. She is...
info_outline
Alex Webb - Understanding self for future happiness and success TPPP32
The Parent Practice Podcast
Alex Webb is an experienced coach and facilitator, working with young people on an individual basis and in teams to become resilient leaders. Alex focuses on behaviour change, self-awareness and the understanding of self. Her belief is that if you understand yourself, you can then understand others, allowing you to adapt your behaviour to improve relationships. Her business is called Flying Start and she has been working with The Princes Trust to help young adults with leadership skills and confidence in their Future Leaders Programme. They help young people understand the future of work and...
info_outline
Dr Laura Markham -We need to talk about racism - TPPP31
The Parent Practice Podcast
You may have been provoked by the recent death of George Floyd at the hands of a white police officer in Minnesota or by similar events in the UK and Australia, and elsewhere, to think really hard about racism. Were you galvanised into taking part in a protest against racism and against police brutality? Are you wondering how to bring up your children not only to not be racist themselves but to be outraged by discrimination on the basis of skin colour and to speak out against it? If you want to raise children who are going to be kinder, more tolerant adults who will create a better future for...
info_outline
Victoria Bagnall -Executive Functioning - TPPP30
The Parent Practice Podcast
Do you have a child for whom there is a disconnect between level of intelligence and academic performance? Do you have a teen who has issues with time management, who can’t get up in the morning? Maybe you’ve even got a young adult who is struggling now that the scaffolding of school has been taken away and they’re trying to manage on their own at university. Do you have a child with a diagnosis of ADD or ADHD or any other neurodiverse condition? Chances are he has executive function challenges. To function in the 21st century with everything we’re juggling we need to have finely tuned...
info_outline
Pam Custers - The Primary Relationship is with the Parents not the Children TPPP29
The Parent Practice Podcast
Conflict is normal in a healthy relationship, and relationships have definitely been feeling the strain in lockdown as we’re in each other’s company 24/7 and the division of responsibility in the family around childcare, supervision of schoolwork and domestic duties becomes strained. Parents are used to putting the children first but our guest today believes that the primary relationship is between the adults. The couple relationship can get lost if parents become a child-rearing unit. This episode looks at how we can communicate our needs in an effective way, Pam Custers is an experienced...
info_outline
Elizabeth Fletcher - Parenting Apart in Lockdown TPPP28
The Parent Practice Podcast
Right now every couple relationship is being stress-tested. Being forced into close proximity with your other half 24/7 and with other possible anxieties around work and finances and child care and education and concerns about your own and others’ health may mean that cracks are developing. If your relationship was already under strain before the arrival of this coronavirus it may have reached breaking point now. If you’re listening to this particular episode presumably you have an interest in helping children deal with the breakdown of a relationship, whether that is something that...
info_outline
Sharon Charlton-Thomson - Radical Self care for the real world we live in TPPP27
The Parent Practice Podcast
Those of us working in the coaching space right now know that many parents are feeling overwhelmed, stressed and depleted as our expectations of ourselves are through the roof. We’re supervising learning at home and many of us are working from home too; we’re getting the kids off electronic devices and coaxing them to take some exercise; we’re sorting out sibling squabbles and getting them to make their beds and put their clothes in the laundry basket, while also cleaning, shopping and cooking, all in closer proximity to our partners than usual. Never before has the phrase “For better,...
info_outlineDo you ever feel as if everyone else is getting life right but you are failing at it? Have you had the feeling that you are not enough just as you are? Do you find yourself putting off doing things until the conditions are right or you feel more qualified or resourced? Are you afraid that someday you’ll be found out as the imposter you are? Do you suffer from parental guilt? Are you exhausted? You may be a perfectionist.
This week’s episode is with Zoe Blaskey. Zoe is the founder of Motherkind, a self-empowerment platform for modern mums. Through Motherkind Zoe coaches mothers of all backgrounds from Global CEO's to stay at home mums on how to navigate the huge challenges of modern motherhood. Zoe also hosts The Motherkind Podcast and speaks every week to leading experts on a range of topics from self-care, mental health, to career, nutrition and parenting.
Zoe shares with us how she got into the work she does now, having had a breakdown at the age of 23 and then found healing. She describes how the birth of her daughter was a catalyst for her to make changes in her life. She had been a people-pleaser and a perfectionist and was living to satisfy other people’s goals for her and feeling like she was never quite getting there despite achieving so many outward measures of success. She developed several addictive behaviours to help her numb and distract herself from her inner pain. But her healing process has enabled her to help many others.
Listen to this episode with Zoe if you want to learn:
- About the difference between nurturing the inner self vs looking good on the outside
- How important it is for parents to develop their own emotional intelligence so that their children can do the same and how important it is for us to ‘re-parent’ ourselves
- The signs of perfectionism –the seeking of qualifications and prestige jobs, trying to get everyone to love you, or maybe striving to look immaculate, saying ‘yes, but….’ about your achievements and procrastinating or not finishing projects because they’ll never be good enough
- How perfectionism is different from doing your best
- How perfectionism can suck the joy out of parenting and lead to criticising your own child and passing on the perfectionism burden to that child
- When trusting your instincts as a parent what the difference is between defaulting to learned parenting behaviours and parenting from a place of awareness
- How having a strong inner critic gets in the way of building our children’s sense of self-worth, resilience and joy
- How parental guilt is unreasonable as it focuses on the wrong things, the small things, the things we feel we ‘should’ be doing, not on the things that are out of step with our values
- How to handle things when we (inevitably) get things wrong, including asking our children if there’s anything we can do to make amends, so that we can model our humanness and our imperfection, because if we beat ourselves up we are saying I only love myself when I get things right and they can accept their own imperfection
- How to avoid putting on the mask of perfectionism to hide not being good enough
- To be willing to show our messiness so that our children can accept their own feelings and the complexity of the world
- How to hold your own feelings and accept your child’s feelings rather than distract your child from them
- How to build your self-awareness, which plays such an important role in understanding yourself and in quietening your inner critic
- What role meditation plays in understanding that we are not our thoughts
In our celebration of vulnerability and perfect imperfection Zoe shares with us a Low Parenting Moment of her own. Some of you will recognise this moment and may feel that Zoe handled it perfectly well actually.
And she also shares her top tip for raising children to be confident, happy and successful. It’s a really lovely one.
Links
To get in touch with Zoe:
Website:https://www.motherkind.co/
Podcast: https://www.motherkind.co/podcast-1
Blog: https://www.motherkind.co/blog
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/motherkind_zoe/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Motherkind.co/
Twitter: @motherkind