Caroline Ferguson - Escaping the Parental Guilt Trap TPPP25
Release Date: 05/08/2020
The Upsides of Enforced Slowness in Lockdown with Carl Honoré TPPP36
The Parent Practice Podcast
If you’re feeling really over the whole pandemic thing this episode will lift your spirits. The Covid-19 pandemic has certainly changed our lives. We’ve been forced to accept changes to the way we live in order to try to control the disease, some of which have been inconvenient, to say the least. Some families have found the enforced lockdown extremely difficult and for some isolation has really affected their mental wellbeing. But it hasn’t been all bad. Carl Honoré has written extensively about the benefits of slowing down –he calls it embracing our ‘inner tortoise’ - and...
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Juliet Richards - Navigating Anxiety TPPP35
The Parent Practice Podcast
We are all aware that anxiety is a growing problem amongst our littlies, our tweens and our teens, and a recent Bristol University Longitudinal study ( ALPSAC) has identified that anxiety amongst our young people, children and teenagers has risen over the past 3 months of the pandemic from 13% to 24% during the crisis. So this podcast helps parents understand it and most importantly gives some top tips re what can be done to manage anxiety, reduce stress and how to respond to it. Our guest today is Juliet Richards, who has been part of the facilitation team here at The Parent Practice since...
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Louise Treherne - Helping Children Cope with the Return to School TPPP34
The Parent Practice Podcast
Some of you will have children who have already returned to school, albeit part time, and some of you will have children who will be returning for the first time in September, so this episode has relevance for everybody whatever transition you are going through. Some children are terribly excited about going back and some are quite apprehensive. And parents may have mixed feelings too. Our guest today is Louise Treherne who is Head of Character Education at ‘Role Models’, an organisation which supports children to be resilient and creative problem solvers. Louise has a degree in...
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Michele Borba - Raising empathetic children in an all-about-me world TPPP33
The Parent Practice Podcast
There is no doubt that in this era of the Covid-19 pandemic there has been a huge amount of uncertainty and with that some anxiety. You may be feeling some anxiety yourself and perhaps your children are too. Well, the antidote to stress is empathy and our guest today has many, many ideas about how you can build empathy in your children. Dr. Michele Borba is an educational psychologist and former classroom teacher who is recognised globally as a parenting, bullying and character expert whose aim is to strengthen children’s empathy and resilience, and break the cycle of youth violence. She is...
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Alex Webb - Understanding self for future happiness and success TPPP32
The Parent Practice Podcast
Alex Webb is an experienced coach and facilitator, working with young people on an individual basis and in teams to become resilient leaders. Alex focuses on behaviour change, self-awareness and the understanding of self. Her belief is that if you understand yourself, you can then understand others, allowing you to adapt your behaviour to improve relationships. Her business is called Flying Start and she has been working with The Princes Trust to help young adults with leadership skills and confidence in their Future Leaders Programme. They help young people understand the future of work and...
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Dr Laura Markham -We need to talk about racism - TPPP31
The Parent Practice Podcast
You may have been provoked by the recent death of George Floyd at the hands of a white police officer in Minnesota or by similar events in the UK and Australia, and elsewhere, to think really hard about racism. Were you galvanised into taking part in a protest against racism and against police brutality? Are you wondering how to bring up your children not only to not be racist themselves but to be outraged by discrimination on the basis of skin colour and to speak out against it? If you want to raise children who are going to be kinder, more tolerant adults who will create a better future for...
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Victoria Bagnall -Executive Functioning - TPPP30
The Parent Practice Podcast
Do you have a child for whom there is a disconnect between level of intelligence and academic performance? Do you have a teen who has issues with time management, who can’t get up in the morning? Maybe you’ve even got a young adult who is struggling now that the scaffolding of school has been taken away and they’re trying to manage on their own at university. Do you have a child with a diagnosis of ADD or ADHD or any other neurodiverse condition? Chances are he has executive function challenges. To function in the 21st century with everything we’re juggling we need to have finely tuned...
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Pam Custers - The Primary Relationship is with the Parents not the Children TPPP29
The Parent Practice Podcast
Conflict is normal in a healthy relationship, and relationships have definitely been feeling the strain in lockdown as we’re in each other’s company 24/7 and the division of responsibility in the family around childcare, supervision of schoolwork and domestic duties becomes strained. Parents are used to putting the children first but our guest today believes that the primary relationship is between the adults. The couple relationship can get lost if parents become a child-rearing unit. This episode looks at how we can communicate our needs in an effective way, Pam Custers is an experienced...
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Elizabeth Fletcher - Parenting Apart in Lockdown TPPP28
The Parent Practice Podcast
Right now every couple relationship is being stress-tested. Being forced into close proximity with your other half 24/7 and with other possible anxieties around work and finances and child care and education and concerns about your own and others’ health may mean that cracks are developing. If your relationship was already under strain before the arrival of this coronavirus it may have reached breaking point now. If you’re listening to this particular episode presumably you have an interest in helping children deal with the breakdown of a relationship, whether that is something that...
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Sharon Charlton-Thomson - Radical Self care for the real world we live in TPPP27
The Parent Practice Podcast
Those of us working in the coaching space right now know that many parents are feeling overwhelmed, stressed and depleted as our expectations of ourselves are through the roof. We’re supervising learning at home and many of us are working from home too; we’re getting the kids off electronic devices and coaxing them to take some exercise; we’re sorting out sibling squabbles and getting them to make their beds and put their clothes in the laundry basket, while also cleaning, shopping and cooking, all in closer proximity to our partners than usual. Never before has the phrase “For better,...
info_outlineAre you over the whole Coronavirus thing? We know you will be experiencing all sorts of feelings and one of them may be guilt. Your perfectionist instincts may be riding you to aspire to unrealistic expectations of perfect at home learning conditions, enriching activities for your children and perfectly baked sourdough bread while carrying out your own job in unfamiliar surroundings with less than perfect tools and resources with a partner who’s not usually under your feet. Do you feel guilty about losing your cool or nagging your kids or your other half? Do you feel guilty about how much time you can give to your children? Or how much time you’re allocating to your work? Do you feel guilty for complaining when you’re still well and you haven’t lost your job?
Caroline Ferguson is the perfect person to be speaking to in these conditions. She is a mindset trainer, speaker, coach and cognitive behavioural hypnotherapist who works with people to bring out their potential. She’s worked with hundreds of entrepreneurs and executives, teaching them how to embrace their own promise and ditch self-sabotage habits like thinking small, procrastination and imposter syndrome. Melissa credits her with getting rid of the negative self-beliefs she needed to write her book ‘Real Parenting for Real Kids’. It had been gestating for six years but Caroline helped Melissa have the mindset shift which helped it to come into the world! Caroline also delivers mindset talks and training to organisations, helping employees create a growth mindset and build the number one life skill of self-awareness
Listen to this episode with Caroline if you want to learn:
- Why some people beat themselves up and others don’t when faced with similar circumstances; tip: how it’s not the circumstances themselves but the beliefs we have about them that cause the feelings we have
- How unconscious beliefs like ‘I shouldn’t have to disrupt my child’s life…’ or ‘I should be able to keep my child safe…’ or ‘I should be able to attend to my child’s need for attention…’ are demands of ourselves or of the world which cause us to think ‘or else….I am a bad person/not good enough’ which cause feelings of guilt or shame or anxiety or anger or hurt
- How essential it is to challenge those beliefs by really tuning into them and becoming self-aware when we are out of equilibrium
- How many thousands of thoughts a day we have!
- How while we can’t change the circumstances we can change the way we think about them
- Why relentless positivity is not necessarily the best course. (What a breath of fresh air this pragmatic approach is!)
- How to rewrite the stories we tell ourselves that are causing us discomfort
- A structure that helps that rewriting of the ‘shoulds’ which helps dial down the emotion or change it to a feeling that you can manage
- How the big difficult emotions prevent us from accessing our adult pre-frontal cortex and our creative solution-focused brain and we get stuck in the feelings and once we deal with our feelings we are able to access our skills and resourcefulness (See our workshop on How to be a Calmer Parent)
- How setting boundaries and safeguards for ourselves will be part of the solution and encourage children to discuss their own boundaries
- About the Three Empowering Questions to ask when you feel stuck in challenging feelings to put you back in charge
- What am I demanding that is causing me to feel like this?
- What would be a good outcome in this situation?
- What can I do to make that good outcome happen?
And as usual we finish with our SUMs. It’s important, now more than ever, to not let anxiety drown out joy. To help us be grateful for the small things in life we are celebrating some Surprising Uplifting Moments, some good things coming out of this crisis. Caroline shares her own story about finding pleasure in adversity.
Links:
Facebook: Caroline Ferguson Mindset Trainer
Website: https://carolineferguson.com/ Do have a look at Caroline’s website for a self-awareness tool called PACES.