405: How to Be Loving to Ourselves which Allows Us to Heal
The Simple Sophisticate - Intelligent Living Paired with Signature Style
Release Date: 06/04/2025
The Simple Sophisticate - Intelligent Living Paired with Signature Style
"The more you practice reflection and appreciation, the more you build a reservoir of evidence that you can draw from in difficult times. You start ot see patterns. You start to recognize that while life has its ups and downs, you have consistently found a way to navigate them. You start to trust yourself more deeply. And that trust—that bone-deep knowing that you can handle whatever comes—is the foundation of true inner peace." —Daniel Chidiac, author of What if I told you that your inner compass knows the way to your most fulfilling way of living is as certain as the sun rising...
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“The best use of money is a tool to leverage who you are, but never to define who you are.”—Morgan Housel, author of The Art of Spending Money If you ever want to know what a culture values, what a country values, look at their tax laws. I will never forget the wisdom shared by Martin Ginsberg, a tax attorney and the husband of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, on how a country’s subsidies reveal the guiding values of its populace through tax breaks or credits. I share this because, simply because it is the law, but that doesn’t mean it needs to be the law that guides your...
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“You live a new life for every language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.” ―Czech proverb Did you know that 92% of students in Europe learn another language in school, and nearly a quarter of Canadians can hold a conversation in both English and French. Roughly one out of every two people on the planet knows at least two languages, and three out of four humans don’t speak English. (source: (American Council on the Teaching of Foreign Languages) That may sound hyperbolic or pie-in-the-sky, but take a moment and consider what a democracy rests upon:...
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"Joy is the experience of contentment, gratitude, and meaning, regardless of our external circumstance. Joy is not simply feeling happy. Joy encompasses quality of life and the ability to contribute to the world with a sense of meaning and purpose . . . Joy, by definition, cannot be the goal." —Dr. Kerry Burnight, author of A mindset shift. A lifestyle choice. Rather than 'choosing joy' a concept that is vast in its meaning as what brings one person joy will be different from another's, it is rather knowing how to cultivate joy. What we choose are the ways to bring more joy into our life....
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"Just as we are wired to be in connection with each other, we are wired with an impulse to help, with an instinct for compassion." —Deb Dana, author of Empathy in action. While to empathize with another is a good step, a step that acknowledges our shared humanity, it is when we are motivated to act to alleviate the suffering that it becomes compassion. This compassion we are going to talk about today is a gift we give others as much as we need to give it to ourselves. Compassion is a choice, but it is a natural choice to choose and each time we do, along with being curious and honoring our...
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To look up the definition of art through an academic lens is to discover there is no one agreed upon definition of art, and to my eye that is what makes it all the more beautiful to cultivate in the way we live each of our lives if we are to heed the above quote's encouragement of action. Earlier this week, a new series began here on TSLL that will explore and share Who TSLL is Written For? And What Lies at the Heart of Living Simply Luxuriously. and how thinking works as a unit with being compassionate, something we will talk about in-depth in episode #410. The foundational premise is yep,...
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The journey of learning anything new, putting in the hours, the practice, and progressing in a controlled environment eventually must make its way into the real-world to ensure any confidence we have gained is sound. Over the past three years, as many TSLL riders and listeners of the podcast know, I enrolled in French language classes (12 in total) with Washington D.C.'s Alliance de Français through their online classes. Completing through FR 204 (B 1.3) in February of this year, I had met my goal and set about heading to France in March, not having been there since 2022 when upon returning...
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“'I think that’s just how life panned out. I had children and it was difficult to have a relationship with a man who was not the father. And I started thinking, OK, I’ll take care of the children and then when they’re grown up, I’ll be available for a partner. But then I found, I have to say, the great serenity of being single.'” She pauses, as if to savour the words. “'And if I hadn’t, I don’t think I would have been able to do all that I’ve done. I have freedom of movement.'”—Isabella Rossellini When I recently shared above about why she, initially...
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"Food need not be extravagant, complicated, or mysterious to be good. Quite the contrary." —Patricia Wells in her Introduction to Robert Olney's cookbook Whether you love cooking, loathe cooking or fall anywhere in between, we all need to eat. And if we eat well - a marriage of nutritive and delicious - we give ourself a very good shot at living a long and wonderful life. But we aren't born knowing how to cook. We have to choose to learn it, and depending upon our experience with food and the approach others took in how meals came together, we may have a whole host of beliefs about what...
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"Love has the shape and feel of water. It is simultaneously flexible and powerful. It can adapt and roar; it can also be silently nourishing." –Yung Pueblo, We know we need to heal when we slip into being defensive, reactive or regress into any self-protecting behavior - anger, aggressiveness - passive or active. When we cling to perfection at all costs, avoid emotions especially during difficult times, have co-dependent relationships (i.e are unable to be alone for any duration of time), agree to whatever is asked of us whether we are truly able to or not, crave external validation, are...
info_outline"Love has the shape and feel of water. It is simultaneously flexible and powerful. It can adapt and roar; it can also be silently nourishing." –Yung Pueblo, How to Love Better
We know we need to heal when we slip into being defensive, reactive or regress into any self-protecting behavior - anger, aggressiveness - passive or active. When we cling to perfection at all costs, avoid emotions especially during difficult times, have co-dependent relationships (i.e are unable to be alone for any duration of time), agree to whatever is asked of us whether we are truly able to or not, crave external validation, are highly self-critical and never feel we are enough, the list goes on, but these are many of the more common everyday signs to take note of and thus feel a nudge to discover how to heal. (check out the full list here)
The love we seek, love that is liberating and simultaneously instills a feeling of being at home within yourself, feeling accepted for your full and amazing self that you are. A feeling of both being safe and also energized to explore, grow and discover new ahas, begins with being loving to ourselves.
Without loving who we are, which requires that we truly know who we are, we cannot build a loving relationship with others, any type of relationship, not just romantic.
Today's episode is inspired by a new book written by Yung Pueblo, How to Love Better: The Path to Deeper Connection Through Growth, Kindness, and Compassion. A book that he shares is about romantic relationships, but all that he shares can be applied to any relationship. Knowing this, I began to read it, and the first half of the book, ironically and wisely, is not about other relationships at all. It is all about the relationship between yourself and you, how to thrive and thus how to heal so that you can be loving to yourself and then loving to others.
If any of the items in the list shared above spoke to you or you recognized them in your patterns of how you live life currently and you want to change, you want to grow out of them and understand why you default to them, then this is the episode for you. Let's heal, and then let's learn how to assess whether we've healed or not.
Find the Show Notes for episode #405 on The Simply Luxurious Life blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast405