Rural Juror
THIS IS NOT A TEST
Let's bid adieu to 2020 with a heartwarming tale of sitting on a small-town jury. Did you know adieu means "to God"? So when we bid adieu to 2020, we're really saying, "To God with 2020," when maybe what we really mean to say is "To hell with 2020." Which would be to bid "en enfer" to 2020. But if we said that no one would know what we were talking about except the French, and who really cares about them? I mean, I like their baguettes and some of their cheeses, but if I'm being honest, I can live without the rest of it. All that Frenchness over there. And if you think about it, the hard outer...
info_outline
Adios Bukowski Forum
THIS IS NOT A TEST
This one is about the demise of the Charles Bukowski forum, but then for some reason about halfway through I start talking about old-time independent record stores. Places like Three Acre Wood and Northern Lights in St. Paul, and Oarfolkjokeopus in Minneapolis. You might also hear me mention, if you listen real closely, the Prince "Sign "O" The Times" box set, jackassery, Alaska, telling the internet you're eating a hamburger, Instant Karma!, The Beatles, KISS, freaks, riding the bus, and accidental or coincidental fate.
info_outline
Girls Names That Start With the Letter H
THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's me again, and it's high time we talked about names again, not to mention technical tomfoolery, what defines us, surviving a plane crash, employment discrimination, being an expert procrastinator, clanging, blabbing, guacamole, silence, otherness, parmesan cheese, the President of the Apes, diapers, conformity-by-necessity, outsiders, starting a podcasting school, palindromes, the world's laziest way to name a baby, fancy cakes, and divinely inspired ideas and concepts.
info_outline
Putting the T into LGBTQ
THIS IS NOT A TEST
Join me, won't you, for a lively discussion about disorganized garages, Denmark, girls with a baseball bats on their shoulders, broccoli, being pregnant without a husband, fluoride, Flip Wilson, wigs, unnatural amounts of contrast, the pinnacle of beingness, umbrella acronyms, chainsaw juggling, a nice pair of shoes, kids, rejuvenation, murder games, Casper the ghost, and, oh, I don't know, maybe one or two other things.
info_outline
Boys Names That Start With the Letter M
THIS IS NOT A TEST
What's in a name? Everything, apparently. Let's talk about names. And maybe accidentally touch on Google, bread lines, band flyers, getting married and losing your identity, inventing names, self-fulfilling prophecies, a heart surgeon named Becky, serial killers, recording studios, videos, Led Zeppelin, Dynasty hairdos, Target smocks, Devo, subversion, eating on $2 a day, cages, Sonny and Cher, and dog bites.
info_outline
Dropping Propaganda From My Helicopter in the Sky
THIS IS NOT A TEST
Spring brings the Western Tanager, Earth Day, The Flintstones, Vietnam, food from the future, whales, protest, unenlightenment, the tools of oppression, laws, tribes, DNA, COVID, the great Liberal machine, foxes, lizards, cocktails, misdirection, the CDC, guano, mankind, newspuppets, the solution to everything, Girl Scout cookies, the pendulum, chipmunks, pretty shoes, Questlove, Santana, the Monkees, and coyotes.
info_outline
I Got No Friends 'Cause They Read the Papers
THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's springtime, so let's talk about...COVID? That discussion is unavoidable, yes, but don't forget about jackrabbits, owls, coyotes, hazmat, malaria medicine, sensitivity, self-fulfilling prophesy, mascara, gourds, bunkers, Coven, Bob Marley, Aussie twats, an abundance of caution, social distancing, paid vacations, ramen noodles, toilet paper, Instagram, water, karaoke, skin, national parks, desert tortoises, ravens, garbage, grapes, Los Angeles, the death of ideological conservatism, Quaking Aspen, selling your soul, The Day The Earth Stood Still, bullets, President Clinton the second, wigs,...
info_outline
SCIENTISTS VERIFY THAT WORLDWIDE CORONAVIRUS HYSTERIA IS COMPLETELY JUSTIFIED! ALL WILL DIE! REPEAT: ALL WILL DIE! LISTEN NOW TO LEARN HOW TO SURVIVE!
THIS IS NOT A TEST
Terrified of catching a cold? Don't be, I've got you covered. Calm yourself by listening to my reassuring voice lulling you into an alpha wave-rich state of near catatonia by talking about hawks, burritos, cruise ships, toilet paper, Ira Glass, Portlandia, the death of half of the human race, super Tuesday, civil war, collapsed roofs, machines in the garage, politics and humanity, idiots, SEO, more idiots, writing for an audience of noodles, rules, rules, and more rules, some more idiots, removing the hair from around your nipples - wait, I didn't talk about that, I was just thinking about it...
info_outline
Go Fly a Kite and Other Mild Insults
THIS IS NOT A TEST
Hi, remember me? I thought you might like to talk about dogs, jobs, moms, flying kites and Jolly Rogers, sleeping on pool tables, corn, Mai Tais with Buddha, white Christmas, metadata, Showtime at The Apollo, which Sex in the City character are you?, getting old, Christmas music, Van Morrison, The Wailers, fistfights, puppetheads, Joe Strummer, particles, white people, Survivor, Trevy, patois, Rastafari, appreciation vs. appropriation, Cross Colours jackets, why you should stop telling people you're a DJ, and propane in the membrane.
info_outline
Come Fly With Me
THIS IS NOT A TEST
Let's talk about air travel, airplanes, and people, and maybe also the Eiffel Tower, the Grand Canyon, Palm Springs in the summer, LAX, a deep, hacking, ugly cough, Pringles, pretzels, vodka, pasta salad, La-Z-Boys, Mountain Dew, nuns, flowy peasant blouses, iPods, Tunis Air, half-price fajita night, tuberculosis, and the joys of a good mani/pedi.
info_outlineThis one may sound a little weird because it's the first episode recorded in the new studio (a.k.a. the spare bedroom of the house we just moved in to). Try to ignore the echo and instead just revel in the hilarity of bronchitis, 768 Kbps Internet, rain on cardboard boxes, hustlers and con artists, Sylvester Stallone and Ariana Grande, landlines, landlords, lunatics, putting an 'i' or an 'e' in front of every name or service in the 90s, Pringles, silence, power outages, gorillas, roller coasters and getting fired from your job.