Libsyn Directory

E126: Everybody Gets a Pentacle!

Release Date: 06/18/2020

NOPE

This week, as the Great Conjunction brought Saturn and Jupiter into alignment and kicked off a new astrological epoch, we say “Bye Felicia!” to 2020. We shut down the interregnum period, Presidential pardon power and cannibal sandwiches (a Wisconsin specialty). Finally, we delve into the three best Christmas songs of all time -- and Brian treats us to a rare live performance of Mariah music theory.

E147: Dr. Biden Will See You Now! (feat. Alana Hope Levinson)

NOPE

Joined this week by a special guest–MEL Magazine deputy editor Alana Hope Levinson–we shut down the election denial holdouts, the Wall Street Journal’s misogynist editorial page, the two worst Christmas songs of all time, and a new mode of speaking known as “hustle husk.”

E146: Quadrillions of Lawyers!

NOPE

This week, the Texas attorney general filed a highly unusual lawsuit to overturn the election results in four states–none of which is Texas–because why not shoot the moon? Piers Morgan was mistaken for The Pigeon Lady from “Home Alone 2.” Mario Lopez scored the role of a lifetime, playing Colonel Sanders in a KFC-sponsored “mini-movie” on Lifetime. And a man stuck in quarantine caused a sensation on TikTok with his haute cuisine created using nothing but hotel-room appliances.

E145: Sisterhood of the Traveling Monolith!

NOPE

This week, a metal monolith appeared in Southern California after visiting Northern Romania and the inside of a canyon in Utah. In possibly related news, a 7-foot sculpture of a penis went missing in Germany without a trace. An orgy in Brussels attended by government officials from nine European nations got out of hand when police arrived on the scene and were mistaken for strippers.

E144: Pardon the Kraken!

NOPE

This week, Canadians got a warning not to let moose lick their cars. Donald Trump pardoned turkeys Corn and Cob as well as chicken Michael Flynn. And Flynn’s very sane lawyer Sidney Powell alleged that Georgia’s Republican Governor conspired with dead Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez to hack Dominion voting machines in order to keep Doug Collins out of the upcoming Senate runoff. Got that?

E143: Itchy Cows and Boiled Chickens!

NOPE

This week, an Irish farmer enlisted the help of two Druids to move a rock that was knocked over 10 years ago by a bull, leading to a string fo bad luck. Playgirl magazine relaunched to great fanfare and market confusion. A vacationer landed himself in a Thai prison after posting a negative hotel review on TripAdvisor. Finally, an ophthalmologist and his camping buddies were fined and banned from Yellowstone National Park after they violated park rules by cooking a couple of chickens in a hot spring.

E142: Live from Four Seasons Total Landscaping!

NOPE

Following Joe Biden’s decisive win on Saturday, we’ve been ignoring the Nopes this week and focusing on the Yups. We discuss the Biden-Harris victory speech playlist, celebrate the heroism of Stacey Abrams and toast to MSNBC mathlete, Steve Kornacki. Finally, we delve into two strange happenings in Pennsylvania: Rudy Giuliani’s decision to host a press conference in the parking lot of a mulch business and a Twitter scandal involving the Republican former Lehigh Valley commissioner and Patti LaBelle.

Bonus Episode: Last Chance Poll Dance!

NOPE

We decided to channel our anxiety about the election into a podcast about our anxiety about the election. Join us as we shut down the rat-filled sinkhole that is Trump’s America and pray for a better future.

E140: We're Packing the Supreme Court!

NOPE

This week, even the Vatican was trying to be a moderating influence as Handmaid Amy Coney Barrett was confirmed to the Supreme Court. The Trump Administration tried to enlist an unusual constituency to get early doses of the Covid-19 vaccine: professional Santas. A small Alpine town in Switzerland became a coronavirus hotspot following a dangerous yodelling competition.

E139: Covid Update: From 'Roids to Raves!

NOPE

This week, Judge Amy Coney Barrett bobbed and weaved her way through her SCOTUS confirmation hearings with the help of a fly, wine, Jenga and some good old divine intervention. Donald Trump went back on the campaign trail to dance it out to “Macho Man,” even though he still has Covid. Also: we explore orgies in the time of corona.

More Episodes

This week, Rachel attempts to give a Zoom tarot card reading and things are not looking good. Anti-bathing cult members were arrested in Hawaii for violating quarantine. A woman in China says her car was damaged by falling tofu. eBay executives were arrested for sending a middle-aged Massachusetts couple “unwanted and disturbing deliveries” including live spiders and a bloody pig’s face because they said negative things about eBay in their newsletter. And finally, the Nope Summer Music Series revisits the 1980s hit “Xanadu,” featuring Olivia Newton John and Gene Kelly on roller skates.

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