#280: Do you know when to collaborate?
The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley
Release Date: 05/27/2025
Farewell 2025... and a bit about principles.
The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley
In this short and sweet episode, Ben farewells 2025, says Thank You and talks a little bit about how principles (rather than goals) can help you set intentions about how you want 2026 to go. Thanks for listening in 2025, and Ben will be back around mid-January 2026.
info_outline
#308: 4 things to remember to support your team.
The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley
Supporting your people doesn’t have to be complicated. In this episode, Ben shares four key reminders leaders often forget. He explains why these fundamentals matter more than dramatic leadership techniques and how thoughtful leaders can use them to build trust and stability. Ben draws from coaching conversations and real workplace examples to help you support your team with confidence. Resources mentioned in this episode: .
info_outline
#307: A better model for giving constructive feedback.
The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley
In this episode, Ben introduces a straightforward model to help leaders give challenging feedback in a way that hopefully helps the receiver get on board with it. He explains each of the parts of the model and shares practical examples to show how the model works in real conversations. Ben also talks about common mistakes thoughtful leaders make, like softening the message too much or delaying feedback out of discomfort. The episode links closely to , which helps leaders process feedback they receive and builds their confidence in asking for feedback. Resources mentioned in this episode: ...
info_outline
#306: Struggling to move from individual contributor to leader?
The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley
Many new leaders struggle when moving from individual contributor to leadership. In this episode, Ben breaks down why the transition feels so difficult, especially for thoughtful, high-performing people. He covers key mindset shifts including letting go of control, redefining success, prioritising relationships over tasks, and stepping into visibility even when it feels uncomfortable. Ben also shares stories from coaching clients who found leadership hard because they still identified as “doers”, not leaders. Resources mentioned in this episode:
info_outline
#305: Is adapting your leadership style authentic?
The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley
In this episode, Ben explores whether it’s possible to stay authentic while also adapting your leadership style. Drawing on coaching conversations and personality models like DISC and OCEAN, he explains why adaptability doesn’t mean “changing who you are”. Instead, adjusting your behaviour to meet the needs of different situations is both necessary and can still be genuine. Ben shares real examples from his facilitation and project management work, showing how leaders can honour their natural traits while flexing their approach when required. Resources mentioned in this episode: ...
info_outline
#304: Is leadership simply about finding the right balance?
The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley
In this episode, Ben talks about the importance of balance in leadership: knowing when to step in and when to step back. He discusses common traps, like micromanaging or being overly hands-off, and helps leaders identify their “sweet spot” where they can provide enough guidance without stifling independence. Ben offers practical reflection questions and strategies to help you stay balanced, effective, and confident as a thoughtful leader. Resources: .
info_outline
#303: Feedback got you down? Introducing The Useful Feedback Journal.
The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley
In this episode, Ben introduces , a digital tool designed to help leaders process, accept, or reject feedback thoughtfully. Drawing from his own painful experience receiving harsh feedback after a workshop, Ben explains how the journal guides you through four stages – Retreat, Reflect, Extract, and Act – to turn feedback into growth rather than frustration. He also shares success stories from pilot users and outlines how journaling can help you track patterns and improve your response to feedback over time. Resources mentioned in this episode: .
info_outline
#302: How open should you be with your team?
The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley
In this episode, Ben explores a common leadership dilemma: how open should you really be with your team? While transparency builds trust, oversharing can create confusion or discomfort. Ben offers practical advice for finding the right balance between honesty and professionalism. He discusses when to share challenges and when to protect your team from unnecessary stress, helping thoughtful leaders navigate openness with self-awareness and confidence. Resources: Brené Brown’s website: Work with Ben 1:1 –
info_outline
#301: How knowing your values helps build your confidence.
The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley
In this episode, Ben explains how knowing your personal values helps you lead with confidence. He shares how values act as a foundation, keeping you steady when challenges arise. Ben reflects on his own experiences and discusses how understanding your values can help you make decisions, handle pressure, and stop second-guessing yourself. He also introduces his small-group Values Discovery Sessions, designed to help leaders uncover their core values and use them to lead more authentically. Spaces are limited to 8 people, so book your spot now using this link: >>>
info_outline
#300: Top tips for dealing with strong personalities.
The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley
For the 300th episode, Ben tackles one of the most common challenges thoughtful leaders face: dealing with strong personalities at work. These colleagues may be direct, dominant, or results-focused - all traits that can feel intimidating or frustrating. Ben shares five practical tips, from avoiding direct confrontation to preparing well for interactions, so thoughtful leaders can hold their ground without trying to overcompensate or act like someone else. He reminds us that strong personalities aren’t bad, just different, and that with the right strategies, you can work alongside them...
info_outlineEpisode Summary
Collaboration is often seen as the default approach in leadership, but it's not always the most effective choice.
In this episode, Ben Brearley explores a practical model to help leaders decide when to collaborate and when another strategy might be more appropriate.
By understanding the dynamics of goals and relationships, leaders can make more intentional decisions that benefit both their objectives and their teams.
In This Episode, You'll Learn
-
The importance of assessing both the goal and the relationship when deciding to collaborate
-
An overview of the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode model and its five strategies: Collaborate, Compete, Accommodate, Avoid, and Compromise
-
How to evaluate the importance of your goals and relationships to choose the most effective approach
-
Questions to consider that can guide your decision-making process
-
Strategies to encourage collaboration when others are resistant
Key Takeaways
-
Collaboration is valuable but should be used intentionally based on the situation
-
Understanding the balance between achieving goals and maintaining relationships is crucial
-
Not all situations require collaboration; sometimes, competing, accommodating, avoiding, or compromising may be more effective
-
Being strategic in your approach can lead to better outcomes and stronger relationships
Resources Mentioned
Enjoyed This Episode?
If you found this episode helpful, please leave a positive review on your preferred podcast platform. Your feedback helps spread the word to other thoughtful leaders.
Ready for More Support?
Book a free 30-minute consultation with Ben to explore how leadership coaching can address your challenges:
👉 Book a Leadership Coaching Consultation