#285: Common Misconceptions About Kind Leadership
The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley
Release Date: 07/06/2025
#285: Common Misconceptions About Kind Leadership
The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley
Kind leadership isn’t about being nice all the time. It’s about leading with respect and care, without falling into the trap of people-pleasing. In this episode, I unpack some of the common misconceptions about kind leadership. Thoughtful leaders often gravitate towards kindness, but it can backfire if we confuse kindness with always saying yes or avoiding difficult conversations. You’ll hear: Why kindness doesn’t mean weakness The difference between being nice and being kind How to set boundaries and still be seen as a considerate leader Examples of how kind...
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#284: How to lead an ambitious employee
The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley
Ambitious team members can be exciting to lead, but they can also be tricky to manage. So how do you support them without burning out yourself? In this episode, I explore what to do when you’re leading someone with big goals, a strong drive, and a desire to move quickly. These employees often have great potential but without the right leadership, they can become frustrated, disengaged or even disruptive to your team. If you’ve got a team member who’s eager for more, this episode will help you navigate their energy in a healthy, productive way. What You’ll Learn: Common...
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#283: Why Thoughtful Leaders stay in jobs for too long (and how not to)
The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley
Are you staying in a job that no longer supports you, just because you feel loyal to your team or unsure of your next step? It’s a common challenge for thoughtful leaders. In this episode, I explore why we sometimes stay too long in roles that aren’t working, and how to start thinking clearly about whether it’s time to move on. What You’ll Learn: Why staying to “protect” your team might actually hold everyone back How toxic leadership can damage your self-esteem and confidence Why trying to “fix” your boss or workplace can keep you stuck How to start deciding whether...
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#282: Feel confident without being the loudest
The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley
Can you be a confident leader without being the loudest in the room? Absolutely. This is a common challenge for thoughtful, introspective leaders. We often feel pressure to be more outgoing or “on show” to be seen as confident. In this episode, I explore how to build genuine leadership confidence without changing who you are. What You’ll Learn: Why the “shoulds” are holding you back How to reframe what effective leadership really looks like Why it’s OK to be quieter – and how it can actually be a strength How to balance being your introverted self with the times you...
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#281: Q&A - How do I speak up more in meetings?
The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley
Feeling stuck in silence during meetings, even when you have something valuable to say? You’re not alone. In this episode, I respond to a listener question about how to speak up more in meetings – a common challenge for many thoughtful, quieter leaders. If you're someone who finds it hard to contribute when others are dominating the conversation, or you feel like everything worth saying has already been said, this one is for you. What You’ll Learn Why this is only a problem if someone sees it as a problem – like your manager Why relying on a more introvert-friendly workplace...
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#280: Do you know when to collaborate?
The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley
Episode Summary Collaboration is often seen as the default approach in leadership, but it's not always the most effective choice. In this episode, Ben Brearley explores a practical model to help leaders decide when to collaborate and when another strategy might be more appropriate. By understanding the dynamics of goals and relationships, leaders can make more intentional decisions that benefit both their objectives and their teams. In This Episode, You'll Learn The importance of assessing both the goal and the relationship when deciding to collaborate An overview of the Thomas-Kilmann...
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#279: Simple steps for a more effective week
The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley
Episode Summary In this episode, Ben Brearley shares three straightforward strategies to help leaders feel more in control, reduce stress, and make better use of their time each week. These practical steps are designed to enhance your effectiveness without adding complexity to your schedule. In This Episode, You'll Learn The distinction between being effective and feeling effective How to create a simple weekly plan using time blocks Techniques for breaking down tasks to fit into your schedule The importance of weekly planning to stay on top of priorities How to identify when your...
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#278: How to help your overwhelmed team
The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley
Episode Summary Feeling overwhelmed is a common challenge in today's workplaces. In this episode, Ben Brearley delves into practical strategies to support team members grappling with stress and burnout. Ben offers actionable advice to help leaders navigate this pervasive issue. In This Episode, You'll Learn: Identifying Overwhelm: Recognize signs of stress and burnout in your team. Clarifying Workload: Assist team members in assessing the feasibility of their tasks. Categorizing Tasks: Help prioritize work by grouping tasks into manageable categories. Time Management: Understand the...
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#277: Are you enabling bad behaviour in your team?
The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley
Episode Summary Sometimes, despite our best intentions, we can accidentally enable bad behaviour within our teams. In this episode, Ben explores three subtle but powerful ways leaders might unintentionally allow bad behaviour to grow and how to address it before it causes bigger issues. In This Episode, You'll Learn: How being unavailable to your team can create opportunities for bad behaviour to go unnoticed. Why addressing only the symptoms (not the real issue) can allow bad behaviour to persist. The risks of focusing too much on results and overlooking how those results are achieved. ...
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#276: How to stop taking things personally
The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley
Welcome to Episode 276 of the Thoughtful Leader Podcast! In this episode, we explore why thoughtful leaders tend to take things personally and how to break free from this habit. If you find yourself internalising feedback, criticism, or workplace challenges, this episode is for you. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Why thoughtful leaders are prone to taking things personally. The impact of personalizing feedback and criticism on leadership effectiveness. Practical strategies to create separation between personal identity and workplace challenges. Key Takeaways: Understand Why We...
info_outlineKind leadership isn’t about being nice all the time. It’s about leading with respect and care, without falling into the trap of people-pleasing.
In this episode, I unpack some of the common misconceptions about kind leadership. Thoughtful leaders often gravitate towards kindness, but it can backfire if we confuse kindness with always saying yes or avoiding difficult conversations.
You’ll hear:
- Why kindness doesn’t mean weakness
- The difference between being nice and being kind
- How to set boundaries and still be seen as a considerate leader
- Examples of how kind leadership can actually make your team stronger
If you’re someone who cares about your team but sometimes struggles with setting expectations or saying no, this one’s for you.
Resources:
- Explore 1:1 coaching to build your confidence as a thoughtful leader: Leadership Coaching Page
- Blog: How Letting Go Will Help You Take Control.