Ep. 94: Uh, Strangulation During Sex Is Trending Among Young People—Talking With Dr. Debby Herbenick
Release Date: 08/13/2024
Post-Election Thoughts: We Women Will Need to Save Ourselves Again
Toxic
Deep breath. It's been a week. We come to you downtrodden and unshowered to commiserate in our feelings, all of which are valid. No dissection of Kamala's campaign, no grand plans for the future today — just acknowledgment that things are shitty but [hopefully] won't be forever because guess what? Women are strong as hell. We're sorry that not enough white women knew the assignment. Black women, thank you once again for showing up. We have so much work to do to address racism, internalized misogyny and ignorance in our culture. We thought we were making some progress but LOLOLOL. Sigh....
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Ep. 99: Why Women Having Power, aka Kamala Harris, Pisses Some People Right Off
Toxic
With the election TOMORROW (have you voted or made a plan to vote?) we had to discuss .... what is it about women having power that makes certain individuals (read: mostly men) so peeved? The idea of a woman in power intimidates and angers a certain group of people, by and large men, because it challenges cultural gender role norms. It disrupts the domestic power imbalance so carefully put in place by many organized religions. And it means that if women can do everything men can do [better], what's next? Will men start to be treated the same way they've treated us for centuries....?...
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Ep. 98: In Her Own Words—Interview with Rachel Pickrel-Hawkins
Toxic
In family courts around the country, judges are punishing protective parents who think it's not a swell idea for their abusive exes to have unfettered and unsupervised access to their children after a divorce. What sense does it make that the survivor parent gets to be free while the children do not? Protective parents, like Rachel Pickrel-Hawkins out of Colorado, are threatened, silenced and even jailed if they protest or dare to speak out publically about this injustice. Rachel, now out of jail and with her kids safe-ish, wants to tell us what happened in her own words and we're only...
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Ep. 97: Chrystul Kizer Kills Her Trafficker, Sentenced to 11 Years in Prison
Toxic
Make it make sense. Known pedophile, child porn distributor and trafficker Randy Volar is arrested by police in Kenosha, Wisc., in 2018. Hundreds of abuse videos of underage Black girls are found in his possession. He is released the same day without bond. Two months later, one of his victims, Chrystul Kizer, kills him. She's 17 and has been trafficked by him since she was 16. Last month, a Wisconsin judge sentenced her to 11 years behind bars. Her story is one of failures on all levels by society, adults and a system that did nothing to protect her. After we tell Chrystul's story, we...
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Ep. 96: OCD Affects More Girls and Young Women...But Why?
Toxic
This week's episode is not depressing! *Golf claps* Jenna and Amanda welcome psychologist and author Bonnie Zucker who wrote and , among others, to talk about obsessive-compulsive disorder and how it particularly affects young people. While all genders are susceptible to this mental health obstacle, girls are more likely to be diagnosed earlier and at a higher risk overall. To what degree do our cultural norms play a part in perpetuating OCD symptoms? And what can you do if you or someone you know is struggling with compulsions? We've got answers. Well, Bonnie does. We're not psychologists....
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Ep. 95: Rachel Pickrel-Hawkins Is Going to Jail Even Though Her Husband Is Accused of Raping Their Daughter
Toxic
Ah, what fresh hell befell us this week? It was hard to pick just one thing to be angry about. There was the Georgia school shooting on Wednesday, making it the 45th school shooting of 2024. At Apalachee High School, a gunman who wasn't a drag queen took the lives of four people, injured nine others and traumatized indefinitely countless others. If only we could find a pattern to this madness that would help us stop it.... Around the 20-minute mark (if you want to skip ahead, it's OK), Jenna and Amanda discuss an enraging case out of Fort Collins, Colorado. A mom named Rachel Pickrel-Hawkins...
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Ep. 94: Uh, Strangulation During Sex Is Trending Among Young People—Talking With Dr. Debby Herbenick
Toxic
Strangulation, often misnamed "choking" (that's when something's stuck in your throat, not when someone's pressing on it), is trending in the sex lives of college-age kids, and that's a problem. Apparently, the thought is that if it's consensual, it's safe. Tell that to your brain cells that really need blood and oxygen at all times. Dr. Debby Herbenick is a Provost Professor at the Indiana University School of Public Health and director of the who's been studying sexual health and changing sexual behavior trends for the past two decades. She's also the author of and she has a lot...
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Ep. 93: Project 2025 is One Option.....OR, THERE'S KAMALA.
Toxic
What a world we live in: Our first female President on the brink. MAGA people sporting MyPillows on their ears. Hannibal Lecter being exalted at the RNC for no logical reason whatsoever. Undoubtedly everyone heard President Biden's announcement yesterday that he will not seek reelection, a heroic move putting country before ego. Five seconds later, he endorsed VP Kamala Harris as the democratic party's nominee, and all of us with logic in our heads said, "Yes, please, can we finally let women run things up in here?" But we've been cocky before thinking this country hated Trump more than...
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Ep. 92: Why Don't We Believe Women? Survivor Records Abuser, Still Accused of Lying
Toxic
For the love of all things holy, can we just start believing women? I guess not. That's why we're going to keep doing this podcast. Jazzy reached out to Toxic to tell her story after escaping an abusive partner, with whom she had a child. His abuse ramped up while she was pregnant—an unfortuantely common trait among a-hole abusers who may or not feel like a pregnancy takes attention away from THEM and that's just not going to stand. But Jazzy is smart and she recorded his tirades, his threats and even him admitting to putting his hands around her neck. She took this evidence to a...
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Ep. 91: Creepy Pastor John-Paul Miller Tries to Gaslight His Congregation Before Wife's Death
Toxic
On April 27, 30-year-old Mica Miller from Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, was found dead at Lumbar River State Park in North Carolina from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to her temple. Leading up to her death, her pastor husband John-Paul Miller told his congregation that his wife was battling mental health problems, that she had been hospitalized, that she had left him and that she had stolen his money. It was a bizarre combination of asking for empathy for her and sympathy for him. But not everyone was on #teampoorhusband because just weeks before her suicide, Mica had posted a video about...
info_outlineStrangulation, often misnamed "choking" (that's when something's stuck in your throat, not when someone's pressing on it), is trending in the sex lives of college-age kids, and that's a problem. Apparently, the thought is that if it's consensual, it's safe. Tell that to your brain cells that really need blood and oxygen at all times.
Dr. Debby Herbenick is a Provost Professor at the Indiana University School of Public Health and director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion who's been studying sexual health and changing sexual behavior trends for the past two decades. She's also the author of Yes, Your Kid: What Parents Need to Know About Today’s Teens and Sex and she has a lot to share on this topic.
We need to talk about why young people are consenting to this and why some of them aren't—but think they need to just go along with it because it's become so normalized. And we need to talk about the risks. There is no safe way to strangle someone. Strangulation is the number one lethality indicator when abuse is present, and it's a pretty thin line between doing it for funsies and doing it for power and control.
You can read more in Amanda's story with Dr. Herbenick on DomesticShelters.org: "Being Choked During Sex Is Rising in Popularity Among Young People." And for more on talking to to your teen about sex, revisit Episode 13: Having the Sex Talk with Teens Featuring Shafia Zaloom.
Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at ToxicthePodcast.com and tell us all about it.
As always, if you are experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please consider disclosing to someone you trust. You can also reach out to a trained domestic violence advocate—find one near you at DomesticShelters.org.
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