Toxic
What happens when toxic masculinity goes unchecked for far too long? Domestic violence journalist and advocate Amanda Kippert along with co-host Jenna Brandl shine a spotlight on the men who have chosen to abuse more than just their male privilege. Through candid and unreserved conversions with survivors, advocates and experts, we're calling out the audacity of men, one abuser at a time. To end domestic violence, abuse, sexual assault, sexual harassment and general male bad behavior, it's time we call it as we see it.
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Ep. 107: Jim Jones, Trump....It's Like All Cult Leaders Attended the Same Meeting or Something—Dr. Janja Lalich Confirms Our Suspicions
04/01/2025
Ep. 107: Jim Jones, Trump....It's Like All Cult Leaders Attended the Same Meeting or Something—Dr. Janja Lalich Confirms Our Suspicions
In the '70s, a charismatic minister named Jim Jones convinced thousands of followers of his Peoples Temple that he was for them, moving them from the U.S. where he was being investigated for running a cult (lol, nothing to see here) to an agricultural commune in Guyana under the auspice that he was "creating a paradise free from the oppression of the U.S. government." Oh, and also, they had to call him dad, maybe sleep with him and never, ever leave unless they wanted to be shot. But that's neither here nor there. He was FOR them, you guys. Of course, if you know anything about Jonestown, you know this didn't end well for 909 of them. You'll never believe this, but the markers of Jim Jones—a guy who loved Hitler, schmoozing with politicians and exerting power over others—have a lot of overlap with our current RPOTUS (that would be rapist president of the United States). In this episode, we welcome back—Dr. Janja Lalich, CEO of the and foremost international expert on cults to answer our is-half-the-country-in-a-cult? questions. She also recommended a book that we're going to recommend to you: , by Jen Senko. We want to hear from you. Do you have a story we need to discuss or a guest we should feature? Visit us at and share your story. If you’re experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also connect with a trained advocate near you through . Finally, help us keep this conversation going. Share an episode of Toxic with a friend, your gyno, or even the person next to you in line voting for Wisconsin Supreme Court candidate Susan Crawford. Follow us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, and if you’re willing, leave us a review. Your support helps us amplify these critical stories. Together, we can create change.
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Ep. 106: Deepfake Case Out of Minneapolis, Victims Are Told to Just Ask Man Politely to Stop
03/12/2025
Ep. 106: Deepfake Case Out of Minneapolis, Victims Are Told to Just Ask Man Politely to Stop
In another disturbing case of women's safety being not at all a priority, a man in Minneapolis turned images of some 80 women he sort-of-but-not-really-knew into graphic p*rn. When his WIFE found out, he fled town with his laptop in hand, probably to infiltrate a new town with his predator ways. Police threw their hands up and said, "Uh, we don't know what you want us to do. Is this illegal?" Turns out, it is and it isn't. One of the victims talks to Toxic about how she's using her law background to help make sure future women get the justice they deserve against gross men who can't literally make everything in the world about getting off. We want to hear from you. Do you have a story we need to discuss or a guest we should feature? Visit us at and share your story. If you’re experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also connect with a trained advocate near you through . Finally, help us keep this conversation going. Share an episode of Toxic with a friend, your Lyft driver, or even the person next to you in line at your next protest for women's rights. Follow us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, and please leave us a [nice] review. Your support helps us amplify these critical stories. Together, we can create change.
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Ep. 105: What Fresh Hells Today? Trump's Dizzying Array of Distractions Discussed
02/18/2025
Ep. 105: What Fresh Hells Today? Trump's Dizzying Array of Distractions Discussed
Abusers know the routine: First, present yourself as a savior. Promise a romanticized, idyllic version of the future. Earn trust. Then, isolate. “It’s the world against us, baby.” Brainwash. “Don’t trust anyone but me.” And finally, control at such a dizzying speed that the victim can’t make heads or tails of it all. What is real? Am I in danger? How do I get out of this? Hey, look at that, it's Trump, America’s abusive husband. In just under 30 days since he and his BFF Elon Musk invaded the White House, we’re in full oligarchy mode. This is not a drill. Call it a coup, call it a dictatorship or just call it the most embarrassing time of U.S. history unfolding before our eyes. Today we’re talking about Trump’s dizzying array of executive orders, declarations, hirings and firings, which are all just a distraction technique. An appetizer round if you will. We need to discuss why it’s important we don’t give up, put our heads in the sand and shut down our ear holes. Because that’s what he’s hoping will happen. We want to hear from you. Do you have a story we need to discuss or a guest we should feature? Visit us at and share your story. If you’re experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also connect with a trained advocate near you through . Finally, help us keep this conversation going. Share an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dog sitter, or the anxious person next to you in the TSA line. Follow us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, and if you’re willing, leave us a review. Your support helps us amplify these critical stories. Together, we can create change.
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Ep. 104: Patrisha McLean Is a Survivor and Her Ex is Bitter About That
02/04/2025
Ep. 104: Patrisha McLean Is a Survivor and Her Ex is Bitter About That
Patrisha McLean survived nearly three decades of abuse by her [unfortunately still] famous ex, Don McLean, singer of "American Pie." Once free, though Don tried his best to discredit her in the media (sound familiar?), she started her own nonprofit to help other survivors of violence, aptly named, . It's been working on taking down abusive a-holes ever since, and we love her for it. She joins us today on Toxic to tell us more about it. (Apologies in advance for the sound issues in this episode. Amanda was having issues with her microphone.) We want to hear from you. Do you have a story we need to discuss or a guest we should feature? Visit us at and share your story. If you’re experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also connect with a trained advocate near you through . Finally, help us keep this conversation going. Share an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, or even the person next to you in line at the grocery store. Follow us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, and if you’re willing, leave us a review. Your support helps us amplify these critical stories. Together, we can create change.
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Ep. 103: Where Do We Go From Here?
01/21/2025
Ep. 103: Where Do We Go From Here?
Trump "Tiny Hands" was sworn into the highest office in the land yesterday, leaving us all asking, "But seriously, no really, honestly, what in the actual eff?" As we enter this second iteration of a reoccurring nightmare that's actually reality, many of you may be stuck in fight, flight or freeze like us. (We're cycling between all three.) The question is: Where do we go from here? How do we get through these next four years? Are we ready to fight, and if so, how can we do it without burning ourselves out? Consider this a family meeting, group therapy or a support group meeting. Take what you need. Just know that we're in this together. We want to hear from you. Do you have a story we need to discuss or a guest we should feature? Do you have an idea of how to fight against an oligrachy? Visit us at and share your thoughts. If you’re experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also connect with a trained advocate near you through . You can find abortion resources at . Finally, help us keep this conversation going. Share an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, or even the person next to you in line at the grocery store. Follow us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, and if you’re willing, leave us a review. Your support helps us amplify these critical stories. Together, we can create change.
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Ep. 102: Justin Baldoni Makes Sure It Doesn't End With Him—What Blake Lively Endured During His Dumb Movie
01/14/2025
Ep. 102: Justin Baldoni Makes Sure It Doesn't End With Him—What Blake Lively Endured During His Dumb Movie
We've likely all heard the kurfuffle surrounding Blake Lively—how did she seemingly become one of Hollywood's most high-maintenance and hard-to-work-with actresses overnight? It turns out that the emperor doesn't actually have any clothes. We've been bamboozled by a well-orchestrated smear campaign thanks to Johnny Depp's understudy in destroying women—Justin "I don't always ask for consent" Baldoni. Once the picture of feminist allyship, along with his Man Enough podcast cohost Jamey "I'll show you videos of my naked wife giving birth without her knowledge" Heath, these two bros made sure Blake was both uncomfortable and mostly naked as much as possible during the filming of "It Ends With Us," then made sure no one would believe her when she disclosed that. Ah, men. We're 14 days into January and already so many of you are being d*cks.
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Ep. 101: Hot Frosty and His Snow Nips Make Christmas Complete
12/24/2024
Ep. 101: Hot Frosty and His Snow Nips Make Christmas Complete
In one of our favorite episodes of the year, we're deviating from our typical rhetoric and recapping a Christmas movie instead. A banger, if you will. In "Hot Frosty" the vet from Schitt's Creek is a snowman who comes alive (naked) after being wrapped in an ugly red scarf given to him by Gretchen Weiner of "Mean Girls" fame. Darryl from The Office is too big of a name to be in this but is anyway. The entire movie focuses on the single lady who shouldn't be single because everyone needs a man, even if he's a snowman. That's where the bar is now. Please enjoy and we'll see you in 2025 with more stories of men behaving badly. Real men, not snowmen. We want to hear from you. Do you have a story we need to discuss or a guest we should feature? Visit us at and share your story. If you’re experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also connect with a trained advocate near you through . Finally, help us keep this conversation going. Share an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, or even the person next to you in line at the grocery store. Follow us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, and if you’re willing, leave us a review. Your support helps us amplify these critical stories. Together, we can create change.
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Ep. 100: Abusive Husband Michael Tormented His Family for Years But Family Court Dropped All Charges, Accused Mom of Alienting Kids Instead
12/16/2024
Ep. 100: Abusive Husband Michael Tormented His Family for Years But Family Court Dropped All Charges, Accused Mom of Alienting Kids Instead
Many survivors of domestic violence don’t realize they’re being abused until years have passed. They convince themselves it’s something else—a bad day at work, a short temper, too much to drink or deep-seated childhood wounds that therapy might heal. They hold onto hope that things will change. But then, a pattern emerges—unrelenting, undeniable. Promises are broken, help doesn’t stick and sobriety doesn’t bring peace. Joan was one of those survivors. For nearly a decade, she rationalized her husband Michael’s behavior. It wasn’t until the night he came after their family with a knife that Joan knew she had to escape. She got out, saving herself and her two children, but what came next was just as harrowing: a court system that refused to protect her. Instead, it turned the blame on her. This episode highlights Joan’s story and introduces the , a nonprofit that helps survivors appeal unjust court decisions in California and Washington. We want to hear from you. Do you have a story we need to discuss or a guest we should feature? Visit us at and share your story. If you’re experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please reach out to someone you trust. You can also connect with a trained advocate near you through . Finally, help us keep this conversation going. Share an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, or even the person next to you in line at the grocery store. Follow us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, and if you’re willing, leave us a review. Your support helps us amplify these critical stories. Together, we can create change.
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Post-Election Thoughts: We Women Will Need to Save Ourselves Again
11/09/2024
Post-Election Thoughts: We Women Will Need to Save Ourselves Again
Deep breath. It's been a week. We come to you downtrodden and unshowered to commiserate in our feelings, all of which are valid. No dissection of Kamala's campaign, no grand plans for the future today — just acknowledgment that things are shitty but [hopefully] won't be forever because guess what? Women are strong as hell. We're sorry that not enough white women knew the assignment. Black women, thank you once again for showing up. We have so much work to do to address racism, internalized misogyny and ignorance in our culture. We thought we were making some progress but LOLOLOL. Sigh. We'll make it, ladies. When DT speaks of the enemy within, let's raise our hands and say, "Present."
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Ep. 99: Why Women Having Power, aka Kamala Harris, Pisses Some People Right Off
11/04/2024
Ep. 99: Why Women Having Power, aka Kamala Harris, Pisses Some People Right Off
With the election TOMORROW (have you voted or made a plan to vote?) we had to discuss .... what is it about women having power that makes certain individuals (read: mostly men) so peeved? The idea of a woman in power intimidates and angers a certain group of people, by and large men, because it challenges cultural gender role norms. It disrupts the domestic power imbalance so carefully put in place by many organized religions. And it means that if women can do everything men can do [better], what's next? Will men start to be treated the same way they've treated us for centuries....? Gasp! Not that! Let's talk a little history, a little misogyny and a little hot dish. Remember, YOUR VOTE MATTERS. Now more than ever. Get yer ass to the polls tomorrow and fill in those little ovals you patriotic people! As we approach our 100th episode of Toxic, we have a special favor to ask of you. If you enjoy the podcast, will you please take two minutes and rate and review us on whatever platform you're on? Did you know there are over 4.19 million podcasts in the world? You have more than a few to choose from. Which is why standing out as a little podcast like ours is rough. We believe we have important issues to discuss and women to fight for, so please help us by doing this one simple thing to elevate Toxic just a tad. Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at and tell us all about it. As always, if you are experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please consider disclosing to someone you trust. You can also reach out to a trained domestic violence advocate—find one near you at .
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Ep. 98: In Her Own Words—Interview with Rachel Pickrel-Hawkins
10/22/2024
Ep. 98: In Her Own Words—Interview with Rachel Pickrel-Hawkins
In family courts around the country, judges are punishing protective parents who think it's not a swell idea for their abusive exes to have unfettered and unsupervised access to their children after a divorce. What sense does it make that the survivor parent gets to be free while the children do not? Protective parents, like Rachel Pickrel-Hawkins out of Colorado, are threatened, silenced and even jailed if they protest or dare to speak out publically about this injustice. Rachel, now out of jail and with her kids safe-ish, wants to tell us what happened in her own words and we're only too happy to give her the microphone. Remember that while Rachel's case received national attention, so many other survivors' stories never do. Apologies for the audio snafu around the 50-minute mark. It was mistakenly left in, so alas, it stays. #reallife Do you want to tell your story on Toxic? Or, do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at and tell us all about it. As always, if you are experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please consider disclosing to someone you trust. You can also reach out to a trained domestic violence advocate—find one near you at . Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your equally angry friend, a random stranger in line to vote, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a [positive] review. We appreciate you.
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Ep. 97: Chrystul Kizer Kills Her Trafficker, Sentenced to 11 Years in Prison
10/01/2024
Ep. 97: Chrystul Kizer Kills Her Trafficker, Sentenced to 11 Years in Prison
Make it make sense. Known pedophile, child porn distributor and trafficker Randy Volar is arrested by police in Kenosha, Wisc., in 2018. Hundreds of abuse videos of underage Black girls are found in his possession. He is released the same day without bond. Two months later, one of his victims, Chrystul Kizer, kills him. She's 17 and has been trafficked by him since she was 16. Last month, a Wisconsin judge sentenced her to 11 years behind bars. Her story is one of failures on all levels by society, adults and a system that did nothing to protect her. After we tell Chrystul's story, we welcome on Kelly Diane Galloway, president and founding director of Project Mona’s House, the only restorative shelter for survivors of human trafficking in the U.S., located in Buffalo, NY. This amazing advocate shares her insight into what went wrong here and why society is misunderstanding the nuances of trafficking. Because Chrystul is not alone — Cyntoia Brown, Pieper Lewis, Maryanne Atkins are just a few of the victims who chose to protect themselves from horrible men and were punished as a result. As we mention in the episode, if you want to send your support to Chrystul, she’s serving time at the Taycheedah Correctional Institution. You can send her letters to the address below, or visit , which offers a few other options for sending mail to an inmate, like directly from your phone, for a small fee. Chrystul Kizer, DOC #00675639Taycheedah Correctional Institution PO BOX 189 Phoenix, MD 21131 If you are experiencing human trafficking, consider reaching out to the National Human Trafficking Hotline at 888-373-7888, or visit for more options. If you are the victim of abuse or domestic violence, please consider disclosing to someone you trust. You can also reach out to a trained domestic violence advocate—find one near you at . It would help SO MUCH if you could spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your hair stylist, a random stranger in line at the DMV, etc.; by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media; or by leaving us a (positive) review. We appreciate you. Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at and tell us all about it.
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Ep. 96: OCD Affects More Girls and Young Women...But Why?
09/17/2024
Ep. 96: OCD Affects More Girls and Young Women...But Why?
This week's episode is not depressing! *Golf claps* Jenna and Amanda welcome psychologist and author Bonnie Zucker who wrote and , among others, to talk about obsessive-compulsive disorder and how it particularly affects young people. While all genders are susceptible to this mental health obstacle, girls are more likely to be diagnosed earlier and at a higher risk overall. To what degree do our cultural norms play a part in perpetuating OCD symptoms? And what can you do if you or someone you know is struggling with compulsions? We've got answers. Well, Bonnie does. We're not psychologists. This is an episode you might want to actually listen to with your kids. Before we bring on our guest, Amanda gives a quick update to last week's episode on Rachel Pickrel-Hawkins, the protective mom and survivor who was sentenced to jail for trying to keep her kids safe from her abusive ex. Spoiler alert: The judge has realized the error of his ways..... for now. Remember, there are only 48 days until the election. It's time to put a woman in charge. Everyone 18 and over, make sure you're registered to vote at . Your vote MATTERS. And if you need some sweet Kamala merch, visit . A hundred percent of our proceeds goes right back to Kamala for Prezzy. As always, if you are experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please consider disclosing it to someone you trust. You can also reach out to a trained domestic violence advocate—find one near you at . Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, MAGA family member, your gyno, the guy in front of you at the polls, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. We appreciate you.
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Ep. 95: Rachel Pickrel-Hawkins Is Going to Jail Even Though Her Husband Is Accused of Raping Their Daughter
09/05/2024
Ep. 95: Rachel Pickrel-Hawkins Is Going to Jail Even Though Her Husband Is Accused of Raping Their Daughter
Ah, what fresh hell befell us this week? It was hard to pick just one thing to be angry about. There was the Georgia school shooting on Wednesday, making it the 45th school shooting of 2024. At Apalachee High School, a gunman who wasn't a drag queen took the lives of four people, injured nine others and traumatized indefinitely countless others. If only we could find a pattern to this madness that would help us stop it.... Around the 20-minute mark (if you want to skip ahead, it's OK), Jenna and Amanda discuss an enraging case out of Fort Collins, Colorado. A mom named Rachel Pickrel-Hawkins was found in contempt of court and sentenced to seven consecutive weekends in jail for not complying with court-ordered reunification therapy between her abusive ex-husband and her two youngest sons. This comes amidst a criminal investigation into her husband, a former cop, who has been accused of sexually molesting his daughters. The audacity of the court system, the judge and the therapist who's complicit in this is mind-boggling. Advocates and lawmakers are rallying around Rachel calling for justice, and we're joining in that that protest. You can help by not only getting pissed, too, but by amplifying Rachel's story and sharing it with others. Speaking out about injustices en masse is what keeps people like this cop from feeling untouchable. Links: to Colorado Supreme Court Justice Monica Màrquez mentioned in today's episode. for legal costs (hope she sues everyone when this is over). on the BS that is "parental alienation syndrome." Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at and tell us all about it. As always, if you are experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please consider disclosing to someone you trust. You can also reach out to a trained domestic violence advocate—find one near you at . Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, a random stranger in line at the grocery store, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a positive review. We appreciate you.
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Ep. 94: Uh, Strangulation During Sex Is Trending Among Young People—Talking With Dr. Debby Herbenick
08/13/2024
Ep. 94: Uh, Strangulation During Sex Is Trending Among Young People—Talking With Dr. Debby Herbenick
Strangulation, often misnamed "choking" (that's when something's stuck in your throat, not when someone's pressing on it), is trending in the sex lives of college-age kids, and that's a problem. Apparently, the thought is that if it's consensual, it's safe. Tell that to your brain cells that really need blood and oxygen at all times. Dr. Debby Herbenick is a Provost Professor at the Indiana University School of Public Health and director of the who's been studying sexual health and changing sexual behavior trends for the past two decades. She's also the author of and she has a lot to share on this topic. We need to talk about why young people are consenting to this and why some of them aren't—but think they need to just go along with it because it's become so normalized. And we need to talk about the risks. There is no safe way to strangle someone. Strangulation is the number one lethality indicator when abuse is present, and it's a pretty thin line between doing it for funsies and doing it for power and control. You can read more in Amanda's story with Dr. Herbenick on DomesticShelters.org: "" And for more on talking to to your teen about sex, revisit . Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at and tell us all about it. As always, if you are experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please consider disclosing to someone you trust. You can also reach out to a trained domestic violence advocate—find one near you at . We would so appreciate it if you could help us spread this conversation further by leaving us a review so the algorithm will suggest us to more people. We'd also love it if you could share your favorite episode with a friend, coworker, a random stranger in line at the grocery store, etc. Thank you, friend.
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Ep. 93: Project 2025 is One Option.....OR, THERE'S KAMALA.
07/22/2024
Ep. 93: Project 2025 is One Option.....OR, THERE'S KAMALA.
What a world we live in: Our first female President on the brink. MAGA people sporting MyPillows on their ears. Hannibal Lecter being exalted at the RNC for no logical reason whatsoever. Undoubtedly everyone heard President Biden's announcement yesterday that he will not seek reelection, a heroic move putting country before ego. Five seconds later, he endorsed VP Kamala Harris as the democratic party's nominee, and all of us with logic in our heads said, "Yes, please, can we finally let women run things up in here?" But we've been cocky before thinking this country hated Trump more than women and we lost HRC, so it's no time to rest on our laurels. If we don't vote for anyone other than Trump, we're facing an imminent autocracy head-on. Project 2025's “Mandate for Leadership” is a political manifesto conceived by the Heritage Foundation, a conservative think tank that's been influncing presidents since 1973. Should Trump be elected, he will likely use this manifesto as a roadmap to completely dismantle the American system of democracy as we know it. We wish that was hyperbole but it's not. We know it's hard to hear all of this, but it's more important now than ever before to be aware of what's going on and share what you know. Knowledge is power, which is exactly why Project 2025 proposes we make the country dumber, one choice at a time. Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your MAGA coworker, a random stranger at the coffee shop, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. We appreciate you. Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at and tell us all about it. Here, you can also find our merch, such as our "Stop Killing Women" and "I'd Choose the Bear" tees and hoodies. As always, if you are experiencing domestic violence or abuse, please consider disclosing to someone you trust. You can also reach out to a trained domestic violence advocate—find one near you at .
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Ep. 92: Why Don't We Believe Women? Survivor Records Abuser, Still Accused of Lying
06/19/2024
Ep. 92: Why Don't We Believe Women? Survivor Records Abuser, Still Accused of Lying
For the love of all things holy, can we just start believing women? I guess not. That's why we're going to keep doing this podcast. Jazzy reached out to Toxic to tell her story after escaping an abusive partner, with whom she had a child. His abuse ramped up while she was pregnant—an unfortuantely common trait among a-hole abusers who may or not feel like a pregnancy takes attention away from THEM and that's just not going to stand. But Jazzy is smart and she recorded his tirades, his threats and even him admitting to putting his hands around her neck. She took this evidence to a court of law which promptly found the abuser not guilty, claiming there was no way they could tell if she had fabricated this recording. Because yes, that's what us women do with our time. It's not like there's a shortage of abusive men—we certainly do not have to lie and pretend they exist. But, it is any easy way for an abuser to shift the blame. Listen to Jazzy's story in her own words and then consider checking out her podcast on finding financial independence called (which Amanda was honored to make a guest appeareance on last October for Domestic Violence Awareness Month. You can listen to that episode .) If you suspect you're in danger at home and a partner is escalating their violence, please consider utilizing one of these Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at and tell us all about it. As always, if you are experiencing abuse or domestic violence, please consider disclosing to someone you trust. You can also reach out to a trained domestic violence advocate—find one near you at . Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your petsitter, a random stranger in line at the grocery store, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. We appreciate you.
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Ep. 91: Creepy Pastor John-Paul Miller Tries to Gaslight His Congregation Before Wife's Death
05/13/2024
Ep. 91: Creepy Pastor John-Paul Miller Tries to Gaslight His Congregation Before Wife's Death
On April 27, 30-year-old Mica Miller from Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, was found dead at Lumbar River State Park in North Carolina from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to her temple. Leading up to her death, her pastor husband John-Paul Miller told his congregation that his wife was battling mental health problems, that she had been hospitalized, that she had left him and that she had stolen his money. It was a bizarre combination of asking for empathy for her and sympathy for him. But not everyone was on #teampoorhusband because just weeks before her suicide, Mica had posted a video about abuse within a relationship. And friends say she was trying to escape her husband. Her tires had been slashed twice by an unknown assailant. There was a tracker on her car. As more details emerge on this still-active investigation, there are so many questions to be answered. But here's one truth we know: men in positions of power, like those behind a pulpit, will use any excuse, especially religion, to justify their entitlement to control women. Jenna and Amanda talk spiritual abuse, toxic triangulation and more in this episode. Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at and tell us all about it. Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, a random stranger in line at the grocery store, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. We appreciate you.
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Ep: 90: Women Are Fed Up: The 4B Movement Says Eff Off to Men. Plus—Why Does Arizona Need More Babies? It's Already So Hot Here
04/23/2024
Ep: 90: Women Are Fed Up: The 4B Movement Says Eff Off to Men. Plus—Why Does Arizona Need More Babies? It's Already So Hot Here
The Arizona Supreme Court, in all its supreme wisdom, recently ruled that a Civil War-era law from 1864, which amounts to a total ban on abortion, could be enforced. Because why not return to the time before women were ever in government, before we could vote or open bank accounts, when "wife beating" was still legal and when the average birth rate was 7.04 children per woman? THAT SOUNDS AWESOME. The ladies discuss what in the fadoodles is going on in Amanda's state. Then, as promised in our last episode, we're circling back with actual info on this 4B Movement in South Korea. What is it and why should we hold off on applauding it (spoiler: It's TERF-y)? Plus, is eschewing men the best way to get things to change or do we need them on our side? There are arguments to be made for both sides. Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at and tell us all about it. Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, a random stranger in line at the grocery store, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a [positive] review. We appreciate you!
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Ep. 89: Power and Money Has Allowed Sean "Diddy" Combs to Abuse Women for 30 Years
04/09/2024
Ep. 89: Power and Money Has Allowed Sean "Diddy" Combs to Abuse Women for 30 Years
It's time for Amanda and Jenna to break down Diddy's misdeeds. For the past 30 years, we've heard the rumblings but now, thanks to some brave survivors speaking out, it's all coming to light. Like so many rich and powerful men before (and after) him, Diddy has used his billionaire fortune and his I-can-make-things-happen-for-you power to control, intimidate, assault, harass and abuse women (and men) and then pay off anyone who might speak out about it. We're talking grooming, rape, sexual coercion, trafficking, drugs, weapons, a car bomb ... Diddy's been busy and it's time he face the music, no pun intended. Or maybe there is a pun there. Either way, he's gross. Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at and tell us all about it. Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, a random stranger in line at the grocery store, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. We appreciate you.
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Ep. 88: Ally Toyos Is Silent No More—Her Story of Surviving Parental Reunification Camp at 16
03/12/2024
Ep. 88: Ally Toyos Is Silent No More—Her Story of Surviving Parental Reunification Camp at 16
Family court can be an effed up place. Instead of protecting kids and listening to women, it's unfortunately mostly run by men who side with men and listen to men about men things. As such, if an abusive parent has enough money, they can not only buy custody of their kids, they can also buy the right to torture the other parent. Enter a for-profit scam called parental reunification camps. Run by unqualified and unlicensed individuals, they convince family courts to let them have custody of children in the midst of abuse, traffick them out of state away from their protective parent and then force them to "reunify" with their abusive parent through a series of weird, brainwashing type activities. And it's legal! Ally was sent to one such camp at 16, along with her 14-year-old sister, after they reported that they didn't feel safe with their abusive father. As anyone with teens knows, you can hardly convince them to wear a jacket on a 20-below day in winter. What makes adults think they can convince them to disbelieve their own reality of being abused? Jokes on these abuse enablers though—as these young survivors age out of their gag orders, many are choosing to speak out—and they have a LOT to say. Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at and tell us all about it. Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your hairdresser, the pizza delivery guy, a fellow parent in the pick-up line at school, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. It greatly helps us in spreading the word that these issues are ongoing. We appreciate you.
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Ep. 87: Turns Out, Men CAN Stop Rape, Say Men Who Run MCSR
02/27/2024
Ep. 87: Turns Out, Men CAN Stop Rape, Say Men Who Run MCSR
When masculinity is narrowly defined as lumberjacking and giant biceps, men who don't fit this stereotype are left feeling like they need to prove their manliness in other ways—sometimes harmful and violent ways. A narrow and outdated definition of masculinity harms all people and all gender identities and continues to put women in danger. Luckily, there are groups out there like , formerly known as Men Can Stop Rape, an international nonprofit working to mobilize men to use their strength for creating cultures free from violence, especially men’s violence against women. Through their MOST (Men of Strength) Clubs, they're giving young men and boys a safe space to examine what masculinity looks like outside of harmful stereotypes and giving men tools to push back against their peers who still think the cavemen tactic of clubbing women in order to win them over is a foolproof plan. Our special guest today is Josh Bailey, Community Education Manager for MCSR’s Community Education Department. Yes, we're giving a man a microphone but we promise it pays off. Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at and tell us all about it. Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with someone in your life who's as smart and fired up as you, by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review below. We appreciate you!
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Ep. 86: The Taylor Swift Conspiracy Theories Exist Because We Can't Just LET WOMEN LIVE
02/09/2024
Ep. 86: The Taylor Swift Conspiracy Theories Exist Because We Can't Just LET WOMEN LIVE
In yet another chapter of the popular tome, It's All Her Fault: Why Women Can Never Do Anything Right Including Simply Breathing, we discuss why women who manage to be talented and successful are then torn down for being talented and successful until they're not talented or successful any longer at which point they'll be criticized for not trying hard enough. In this case, it's Taylor Swift's turn. In case you missed the absurd headlines of late, right-wing conspiracy theorists, MAGA folk, Qanon and Fox News have decided to band together and push this idea that T. Swift has been implanted into the obviously highly influential world of the National Football League via the government, along with her tight end (giggle) boyfriend Travis Kelce, in order to then get a larger platform than she already had before to convince the whole of the United States of America to vote for President Joe Biden in the upcoming election. Whether or not you're a Swiftie, this trend of tearing successful women down (by both men and other women, sadly) is one we need to end. It's giving middle school bullies. It's giving petty. And it's also mirroring abuse in a lot of ways. Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at and tell us all about it. (You can also find merch!) Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend at this Sunday's Super Bowl party, or maybe just a random stranger in line at the grocery store while you're buying ingredients for guacamole. We would also so appreciate a rating or review so that this pod may reach more people to start even more conversations about ending violence against women. Thank you and we appreciate you.
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Ep. 85: We're Talking Grooming, But Not the Body Hair Kind
01/30/2024
Ep. 85: We're Talking Grooming, But Not the Body Hair Kind
Can you believe it's been three years of Toxic? And wouldn't you know it, we haven't run out of toxic topics to discuss yet. Go, society! Thank you for sticking with us through the hard conversations. To celebrate, we were given the best present: our first award. We recently found out that we won the Social Change Maker Award from She Podcasts' first-ever Sonic Bloom Awards and we're a little proud of that. OK, a lot proud. To effect social change through these conversations is our number one goal. These stories aren't always easy to hear, but we believe anger fuels action. You have to get angry about some of this in such a way that makes you want to do something…anything…to help. And for us, that begins with talking and morphs into education, awareness, marching, voting, and reaching all of you. Today's episode is all about grooming. But not your armpit hair and not your goldendoodle. Grooming of victims by abusers. The most at-risk group for this are women between 18 and 24, but groomers can target teens who are often even more vulnerable. We welcome Eileen Martin, mental health therapist and survivor, to talk about her own experience of being groomed at 17. Parents and anyone who exists around teens will definitely want to listen for what the red flags are that could indicate a young person is being groomed. Before we talk grooming, Jenna and Amanda also HAVE to give a shout-out to their hero, excuse me, shero, of the f'ing week: E. Jean Carroll. A jury out of Manhattan just awarded her $83.3 million from former president and accused rapist Donald Trump after he verbally harassed and degraded her for years following her 2019 disclosure that he assaulted her in a dressing room. She says she can't wait to spend the settlement on something he hates, like helping other survivors of sexual assault. Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at and tell us all about it. Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, a random stranger in line at the grocery store, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. We appreciate you.
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Season 3! Ep. 84: Jill Duggar Wearing Pants Isn't Actually the Bravest Thing She's Done
01/16/2024
Season 3! Ep. 84: Jill Duggar Wearing Pants Isn't Actually the Bravest Thing She's Done
Welcome to 2024 where a good number of men are still audacious beyond belief and women are still saying "WTF just let me live, dammit" every five seconds. Among them, many of the daughters who grew up Duggar, as in TLC's most viewed show ever, 19 Kids and Counting Duggar. Jill released a memoir at the end of 2023, Counting the Cost, that called out everyone who was complacent in her repressed, abusive and highly controlled religious upbringing, and we are here for it. We talk Jim Bob, IBLP (Institute of Basic Life Principals) and the "Shiny, Happy People" documentary. It's a lot to unpack, but stay with us because at the end we close out the episode with special guest Dr. Janja Lalich, an international authority on cults, extremism, and coercion. She offers some much-needed insight into how cults operate and advice on how to know if that new self-help support group you just joined online is actually a cult. (Heads up, MLMs can be cults, too.) Dr. Lalich can be found at or . Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at and tell us all about it. Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, a random stranger in line at the grocery store, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. We appreciate you.
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Ep. 83: "The 12 Men of Christmas" Was a Banger — Jenna and Amanda Review
12/24/2023
Ep. 83: "The 12 Men of Christmas" Was a Banger — Jenna and Amanda Review
Hey cats and kittens, we didn't want to leave you on this holiday without a non-depressing, one might even say "lighthearted" episode. And this is it. Based off your votes, we both (regrettably) watched the zinger "12 Men of Christmas," a Lifetime holiday movie from 2009 that didn't really include Christmas until the last few minutes, but did include objectifying men, introducing characters we had no interest in knowing further, a plot with way too many subplots, the girl from My Girl and, of course, the incomparable Tony-award-winning Kristin Chenoweth not singing, which was a crime unto itself. Please to be enjoying and we'll see you in 2024 with more toxic masculinity BS. Stay safe this holiday and remember, believe women and believe survivors. Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at and tell us all about it. Please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your Elf on the Shelf, your feminist aunt, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. We appreciate you.
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Ep. 82: Tyesha Wayne, Another Survivor of Domestic Violence Arrested for Self-Defense
12/11/2023
Ep. 82: Tyesha Wayne, Another Survivor of Domestic Violence Arrested for Self-Defense
We’ve seen this story play out one too many times. After a documented history of domestic violence by her partner Daniel Walker, 40-year-old Tyesha Wayne of Sahuarita, Arizona fought back this past August. While he attacked her in their garage, she grabbed a gun, pointed it at him, and asked him to leave her alone. He didn’t. Tyesha fatally shot Daniel in self-defense and the courts are calling it premeditated murder, saying Tyesha’s previous record would show a history of domestic violence against Daniel. Her previous record? Being strangled by Daniel to the point of unconsciousness only for her to be arrested immediately afterward. It’s almost like the system has a vendetta against women…..but that can’t be real, can it? Oh, but it seems it can be. Previous episodes of Toxic where we discuss survivors who were arrested and often jailed for defending themselves from their abuser include: Ep. 64—Nikki Addimando was sentenced to 19 years for killing her abusive partner. She’s still in jail but is set to get out next year….finally. Ep. 60—Kayla Fassio didn’t serve jail time but she was arrested after she called for help after an altercation with her abusive partner. Ep. 55—Rachel Bellesen shot her abusive ex after he attacked her and tried to rape her. She faced life behind bars. Ep. 42—Marissa Alexander was originally sentenced to 20 years in jail after firing a warning shot toward her husband who had attacked and then threatened to kill her. Ep. 32—Kim Dadou Brown spent 17 years behind bars for killing her abusive partner as he tried to strangle her to death. Ep. 30—Survivor Robin nonfatally shot her abusive partner after he attacked and tried to kill her. She was arrested and he was not. He then went on to abuse his next wife. Tyesha deserves justice, peace and safety, and we hope you think so, too. Toxic will provide updates as we learn them. Also, mentioned in the episode was a previous one we did with Ed Sakwa, CEO of Emerge in Tucson, talking about whether or not abusers can reform. That episode number is 38 if you want to learn more about that. Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at and tell us all about it. The best holiday gift you can give us is helping to spread this conversation further. You can do that by sharing any episode of Toxic with a friend, a coworker, your mom, a random stranger in line at the post office, etc.; by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media; or by leaving us a five-star review. We appreciate you.
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Ep. 81: We Finally Need to Talk About Brad Pitt
12/04/2023
Ep. 81: We Finally Need to Talk About Brad Pitt
One of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's children created a post on Instagram lamenting his "f*cking awful human being" of a dad, calling the Oscar winner a "terrible and despicable person" who will "never understand the damage you have done to my family." Though Pax, now 19, posted this in 2020, the image was recently leaked for all of us to read and no longer avoid. In 2016, the apparently Toxic Brad drunkenly attacked his then-wife Angelina and his children while flying on a private jet. The incident was said to be the impetus for the couple's subsequent divorce. And while Brad was heralded for getting sober after the fact, what wasn't as highly publicized was his attempt to silence Angelina about his previous misdeeds by making her sign a non-disclosure agreement. With disappointment that yet another man we all once thought was the cat's pajamas has grossly failed us, we've got to talk about this. However, we're not reluctant to talk about Matt Rife, because we all kind of knew he was a tool, right? If you haven't heard of this comedian who thinks jokes about violence against women are the best way to connect with his mostly female audience, well, strap in. Also, we need to discuss the some 3,000 civil lawsuits filed thanks to the Adult Survivors Act, a New York state law that granted victims of gender-based violence permission to sue their attackers even after the statute of limitations ended. This is like an early Christmas present for us all. The law expired on Nov. 23 (though will hopefully be renewed) and then the headlines went wild. We're talking Axel Rose (not shocking), Sean P. Diddy Combs, Jamie Foxx, the entire New York prison system and many more. TAKE 'EM DOWN, SURVIVORS. Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at and tell us all about it. You can also find a link to our store and get some pretty sweet merch preaching about how women don't want to be killed anymore! Makes for a great Christmas present! Also, please help us spread this conversation further by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your favorite teacher, your least favorite teacher, a random stranger in line at the post office, your wine aunt, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. We appreciate you.
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Ep. 80: Maine Shooter Robert Card Likely Mad at Women (Shocker) and a Maryland Judge is Killed for Protecting a Mom
10/31/2023
Ep. 80: Maine Shooter Robert Card Likely Mad at Women (Shocker) and a Maryland Judge is Killed for Protecting a Mom
In breaking news, it seems guns aren't the only problem America has. We know half the population may not like this news, but it appears men are also an epidemic. Not all but far too many males are throwing temper tantrums with semi-automatic rifles when angry at women for setting actual boundaries or trying to live independently. Of the 565 mass shootings SO FAR THIS YEAR in the U.S., every single one has been perpetuated by a man. And accroding to Everytown for Gun Safety, at least 60 percent of mass shooting have roots in domestic violence, but that's only counting the domestic violence that was disclosed. In the case of Robert Card who, last week, took the lives of 18 individuals ranging in age from 14 to 76, sources close to him say he chose a bowling alley and a bar because they were spots he and his ex-girlfriend frequented in the past and he was likely hoping she'd be among his victims. Jenna and Amanda discuss the motivation of those in charge for keeping women safe: Why are we so reluctant to do that? Why is it so hard to stay alive as a woman being stalked by an abuser? It can't possibly be because we're worth less than other humans, right? You'll also hear about Judge Andrew Wilkinson who ruled that a violent and scary abusive man couldn't be trusted with his four young children and this logic cost him his life. In the meantime, why do police only protect women after an abuser has killed someone? On this last day of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, make a pledge to do one thing to be a part of the solution. Start talking about what's going on. Help us spread this conversation by sharing an episode of Toxic with a friend, your dentist, a random stranger in line at the grocery store, etc., by following us on your favorite podcast platform or social media, or by leaving us a review. We appreciate you. Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at and tell us all about it.
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Ep. 79: When Mimi Tried to Leave for the Final Time, He Took Her Hostage
10/03/2023
Ep. 79: When Mimi Tried to Leave for the Final Time, He Took Her Hostage
In this survivor story, Mimi bravely shares with us what happened in 2012 when she decided to leave her abusive boyfriend for the last and final time. She knew he was an avid gun collector, but it never occurred to her that he would actually use one against her. Survivors of domestic violence often have a difficult time seeing the escalation of danger they face while in the thick of it. After all, in between abusive episodes, they are love-bombed, given promises of change and a romanticized version of a perfect future just ahead. Except, it's all a lie. The only thing real is the cycle of power and control that will continue to dominate their life. Learn how the police talked Mimi out of getting an order of protection weeks earlier, but finally came to her aid when she had a gun pressed to her temple. The madness continues. In the episode, we mention Mimi found help and healing through the nonprofit . If you're a survivor of abuse or simply suspect something's off in your relationship, consider reaching out to an advocate near you. You can find your closest domestic violence nonprofit on the . October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please consider sharing your favorite episode of Toxic with a friend, family member, coworker or complete stranger. The more we talk about this, the better a chance we'll collectively start to take it more seriously. Every day, three women or girls are killed by an partner. This number should be zero. Also, visit for daily challenges all this month to help raise awareness around domestic violence. Do you have a story you think we need to discuss or a guest we should have on? Visit us at and tell us all about it.
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