Courageous Conversations: How to Say What Needs to Be Said – Without Blowing It Up
Release Date: 04/23/2026
Typology
What happens when two powerful paths—Buddhism and the Enneagram—sit down for a conversation? In this episode, Ian welcomes author and Buddhist teacher Susan Piver (The Buddhist Enneagram) to explore the overlap between these two systems. Susan’s new book, The Buddhist Enneagram, offers a fresh lens on personality—not as something to fix, but as something to understand, soften, and ultimately hold with compassion. This conversation goes beyond personality labels and into something deeper: How your patterns form, why they stick, and how awareness—not willpower—is what actually...
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Most of us think we’re avoiding hard conversations because we don’t know what to say. But that’s not really the problem. In this episode, Ian and Anthony dive into the real reason we sidestep the conversations that matter most—and it has a lot less to do with skill and a lot more to do with what’s happening inside of us. Because here’s the truth: you can have the best negotiation strategy in the world, but if you don’t understand the emotional dynamics underneath the conversation, you’re going to be dead in the water. As part of our Courageous Conversations series, this episode...
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What if the conversations you’re avoiding… are actually the doorway to the relationships you want? In this replay from our Courageous Conversations series, I sit down with conflict resolution expert James Guinn to explore a truth most of us would rather sidestep: conflict isn’t the problem—our style of engaging it is. Together, we unpack the hidden patterns that shape how you show up when tension rises—whether you withdraw, accommodate, compete, analyze, or collaborate—and how those instincts, often wired beneath your awareness, quietly drive the outcomes of your hardest...
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Last week, we kicked off our Courageous Conversations series with a fresh look at building emotional confidence. This week, we lay the groundwork for how personality, emotional regulation, and awareness all play into navigating conversations that matter. I sat down with Attia Qureshi—an expert in negotiation and persuasion—but what unfolds isn’t just about getting what you want. It’s about why we want what we want…and what’s really driving us underneath it all. Attia shares a moment of deep rejection from her childhood that led her to build what she calls an “exoskeleton”...
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This week, we're kicking off a multi-week series on how to have courageous conversations. We'll be digging into the foundations of emotional confidence, strategies for negotiation, and how to have difficult conversations. Today, we’re taking a fresh look at our conversation with Alicia Michelle to learn how to slow down your inner world and regulate your thoughts, your emotions, and your reactions before you ever step into a hard conversation. We’re talking about building emotional confidence. Not the loud, chest-thumping kind. I mean the quiet, grounded ability to...
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What happens when the life you built—carefully, faithfully, and very publicly—splits down the middle in a single night? This week on Typology, we’re revisiting one of the most powerful conversations we’ve had on the show—a replay of my interview with bestselling author and cultural truth-teller Jen Hatmaker. Jen, an Enneagram Three with a courageous edge that sometimes looks a lot like an Eight, joined me to talk about her memoir Awake and the “before-and-after date” that changed everything—July 11, 2020— when her 26-year marriage ended and the life she knew cracked wide...
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There are some conversations that don’t just inform you—they find you. This was one of those for me. In this episode, I sit down with my friend Dudley Delffs—author, therapist, and a fellow self-preservation Four—and what unfolds is less of an interview and more of an honest, unguarded conversation between two people who’ve spent a lifetime trying to tell the truth about their lives…and sometimes wondering what it costs to do that. We talk about the long journey of being a Four—the early years of feeling different, the instinct to hide parts of your story, and the slow, sometimes...
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Most leaders think workplace problems are about strategy, performance, or communication. But what if the real issue is something deeper—something invisible shaping how people interpret everything that happens at work? In this episode of Typology, Anthony and I explore how the Enneagram reveals the hidden motivations driving behavior inside teams and leadership groups. When people begin to understand why they—and their colleagues—think, react, and communicate the way they do, everything starts to shift. We talk about what happens when organizations move beyond personality labels and start...
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In Part 2 of our conversation on using the Enneagram in therapy, we move from theory to lived experience in the room. Anthony and I discuss how type can be understood as an adaptive survival strategy shaped by early attachment and trauma—and how that framing reduces shame instead of reinforcing it. We talk about what it looks like when the Enneagram is actually working in session: increased self-observation, greater emotional regulation, and more compassion. As a therapist, your type doesn't clock out when the session starts, so we dig into the importance of self-awareness and...
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What does it mean to use the Enneagram in therapy responsibly? In Part 1 of this two-part conversation on Typology, Anthony Skinner and I lay the groundwork for therapists, counselors, and coaches who want to responsibly integrate the Enneagram into clinical practice with wisdom and care. Together, we unpack what the Enneagram is—and what it isn’t—in the therapy room. It’s not a diagnosis. It’s not a substitute for evidence-based modalities. And it should never flatten complexity or bypass deeper trauma work. I also share practical wisdom from decades of work as a therapist,...
info_outlineMost of us think we’re avoiding hard conversations because we don’t know what to say.
But that’s not really the problem.
In this episode, Ian and Anthony dive into the real reason we sidestep the conversations that matter most—and it has a lot less to do with skill and a lot more to do with what’s happening inside of us.
Because here’s the truth: you can have the best negotiation strategy in the world, but if you don’t understand the emotional dynamics underneath the conversation, you’re going to be dead in the water.
As part of our Courageous Conversations series, this episode serves as the emotional intelligence companion to negotiation—helping you move from avoidance to clarity, from anxiety to grounded confidence.
Ian unpacks:
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Why we were never taught how to have hard conversations (and what we learned instead)
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The “fool’s choice” that keeps us stuck between silence and relational fallout
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How the stories we tell ourselves quietly shape our emotions and reactions
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The three common narratives (victim, villain, helpless) that sabotage connection
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A simple but powerful 5-step framework to actually have the conversation
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What to do when things go sideways—and how to restore safety in real time
Along the way, you’ll discover that the goal isn’t just to “say it better”—it’s to show up differently.
Because hard conversations don’t ruin relationships. Avoiding them does.
So as you listen to this episode, ask yourself: "What’s one conversation you’ve been avoiding—and what would it look like to walk into it just a little more prepared?"
**This episode is part of our ongoing Courageous Conversations series—where we’re learning how to speak honestly, navigate tension, and build stronger, more trust-filled relationships in the places that matter most.