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Ep 198: Sweet Surrender: A Conversation with Embodiment Coach Chené O'Brien

Unf*ck Your Relationships

Release Date: 05/12/2025

Episode: 225 How to RAISE YOUR STANDARDS and UPGRADE YOUR LIFE show art Episode: 225 How to RAISE YOUR STANDARDS and UPGRADE YOUR LIFE

Unf*ck Your Relationships

WORK WITH MICHELLE: Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a course for the woman who wants to go from anxious & self-abandoning in relationships to secure, confident and unf*ckwithable:  Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE):  Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out. These aren't just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD:  CONNECT WITH MICHELLE: Instagram:  Website:

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Episode 224: Life Lessons from a Recovering People Pleaser show art Episode 224: Life Lessons from a Recovering People Pleaser

Unf*ck Your Relationships

Okay, babe… let’s talk about people pleasing, because this episode is me calling myself (and you) all the way out. For years, I thought being the “chill, supportive, easygoing” partner made me good. But in reality? I was just betraying myself over and over. I wasn’t setting boundaries, I was building walls and then wondering why everything exploded when I finally snapped. I share the story of how I went from spending every damn Saturday house-hunting for someone else’s dream home (that I wasn’t even living in!) to realising I was overextending myself because I was scared to look...

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Episode 223: Stop Calling It Love…You’re Just Abandoning Yourself show art Episode 223: Stop Calling It Love…You’re Just Abandoning Yourself

Unf*ck Your Relationships

In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationships, I’m calling BS on the fluffy, feel-good version of “self-love.” Because let’s be real… bubble baths and affirmations don’t fix years of self-abandonment. I get raw about my own story of being the “ultimate caretaker”, the one holding everything together, doing the emotional labor, and calling it love. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t love, it was survival. And it left me exhausted, resentful, and disconnected as hell. I break down what it really looks like to stop people-pleasing and start standing the f*ck up for yourself…even when it...

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Episode 222: How to Stop the Emotional Whiplash of Fearful Avoidance show art Episode 222: How to Stop the Emotional Whiplash of Fearful Avoidance

Unf*ck Your Relationships

In this episode of Unfck Your Relationships, I dive into the fearful avoidant attachment style sometimes called anxious avoidant and the blind spots that come with it. This was once my dominant attachment style, and even now I can see how it still pops up in relationships. Unlike anxious or dismissive avoidants, the fearful avoidant flips between hyper-activation (all emotion, seeking closeness, reassurance, and validation) and deactivation (withdrawal, coldness, the “ick,” detachment). This creates emotional whiplash for partners, leaving them unsure which version of you they’re going...

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Episode 221: Why Logic Won’t Save You in Love show art Episode 221: Why Logic Won’t Save You in Love

Unf*ck Your Relationships

In this episode of Unfck Your Relationships, I’m breaking down the blind spots of the dismissive avoidant attachment style. If you’ve ever felt confused about why you (or your partner) shut down, withdraw, or over-rely on logic in relationships, this episode will give you clarity and a new way forward. Here’s what I dive into: Logic vs. Love – Why relying on logic and analysis won’t create real intimacy. Where It Starts – How childhood environments that dismissed emotions shaped these defense patterns. The Hidden Cycle – How conflicts get rationalized away, leading to the same...

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Episode 220: The Hidden Patterns Keeping You Stuck in Love show art Episode 220: The Hidden Patterns Keeping You Stuck in Love

Unf*ck Your Relationships

In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationship, I dig into the blind spots of anxious attachment, the hidden patterns that keep you stuck in the same cycles, even when you think you’ve “done the work.” I explain why reflection alone isn’t enough, because you can only reflect on what you’re consciously aware of. Blind spots live in the shadows the parts of yourself you deny, repress, or don’t even know exist. And until you shine light on those, you’ll keep repeating the same patterns in love, friendships, and even business. Here’s what I explore in this episode: Your strength as...

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Episode 219: The Real Reason Anxious + Avoidant Relationships NEVER Work (Until You Do This) show art Episode 219: The Real Reason Anxious + Avoidant Relationships NEVER Work (Until You Do This)

Unf*ck Your Relationships

In this episode of Unf*ck Your Relationship, I dive into one of the most common yet challenging dynamics I see: the anxious–avoidant relationship. Instead of just giving surface-level advice like “communicate better” or “give each other more space,” I explore how shadow work is the real key to creating lasting change. I share some of my own experiences with anxiety, avoidance, and love and why I realised that traditional approaches often just reinforce the old wounds. For me, shadow work has been the tool that allowed me to see the parts of myself I had disowned and projected onto...

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Ep 218: Mirror, Mirror: A Conversation About Call-Outs with Connected Woman Alum Heather Rotan show art Ep 218: Mirror, Mirror: A Conversation About Call-Outs with Connected Woman Alum Heather Rotan

Unf*ck Your Relationships

Today’s conversation is all about the OWN IT part of CLOCK IT, OWN IT, CLEAN IT UP…and who better to share than the accountability queen herself, my amazing client Heather! Heather is a mother of three, a healthcare executive, and a self-proclaimed attention whore who loves deeply, leads fiercely, and never backs down from a challenge…and she proved that when she finally (after THREE FUCKING YEARS!) signed up for The Connected Woman! Facing down your patterns is never easy. But Heather makes it look that way with the way she owns them. It can take fucking AGES for people to clean up...

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Ep 217: Self-Abandonment in Relationships: How to Stop Betraying Yourself show art Ep 217: Self-Abandonment in Relationships: How to Stop Betraying Yourself

Unf*ck Your Relationships

Not to break your entire self-image or whatever, but abandoning all your needs and desires for the sake of your partner actually doesn’t make you a good person. Sorry not sorry. Sure, maybe it feels good to oh-so-f*cking-selflessly lay your needs down to fulfill your partner’s instead. To be the “good girl.” The “cool girl.” To play the hero in his story. Right up until resentment starts burning so badly you think you’ve got a f*cking ulcer. Truthfully, self-abandonment is a relationship-killer. But it can be a subtle one, especially when you don’t know what the fuck...

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Ep 216: 10 Brutal Truths About Anxious Attachment (This Will Piss You Off) show art Ep 216: 10 Brutal Truths About Anxious Attachment (This Will Piss You Off)

Unf*ck Your Relationships

Warning: today’s episode might just piss you off. It’s to be expected, all right? I am called the Trigger Queen, after all. (If you’re new here, just know: it’s all said with love.) Buckle up, because today, I've got some fucking brutal truth bombs to drop about anxious attachment. If you’re someone who anxiously attaches, at least a couple of these are probably going to make you fucking furious. But you know what? Fucking good.  Sometimes we need a good shakeup to get our heads out of our asses and actually start shifting things. The reality is, the patterns that you're running...

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When I tell you this particular guest of mine is one of the most joyous, radiant, embodied women that I know…I hope you know that I fucking mean it. And I’m not just saying it because she’s my client.

Meet Chené O’Brien: a client of mine, an embodiment coach, and the owner of the hottest f*cking accent ever.

Chené’s healing journey started from a place of constant self-abandonment…but she clocked that pattern, embraced the pieces of herself that kept trying to throw her needs to the curb, and is now out here helping others connect to their own embodied wisdom.

Her story brought me to tears. Genuinely. And now it’s your turn. So without further ado…let’s turn the mic over to Chené, shall we?

 

WORK WITH CHENÉ:

Want to work with Chené? Uh, yeah you fucking do. Head to her website now to get started: https://embodieddelight.carrd.co/

 

CONNECT WITH CHENÉ:

Follow Chené on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/embodied_delight?igsh=MTFpM2pnNHZiMzJ2MQ==

 

WORK WITH MICHELLE: 

Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a shadow work course for the woman who is ready to break free from the anxious/avoidant dance in relationships and step into unfuckwithable confidence, security, and self-worth: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman

Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience

 

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning

Website: http://www.michellepanning.com