Sex, Consent and the Theology of Harm: What if sin is about harm, not rules? We rethink ethics, bodies, and sacred sexuality
Release Date: 07/22/2025
On Premarital Sex Part 4: Sin or Not a Sin?
Where Do We Go From Here?
In Part 4 of our On Premarital Sex series, Jess and Devi wrap up the conversations that have taken over your DMs and headphones all month long. After exploring progressive sexual ethics with Mathias Roberts, vocational celibacy with Peter Valk and Dr. Dani Treweek, and abstinence as a chosen path, this final episode brings everything together. This is the debrief: ✨ What the history of contraception has to do with Christian sexual ethics today ✨ Why the church’s teachings rarely match the actual behaviour of Christians ✨ Staggering data on premarital sex among churchgoing Christians...
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On Premarital Sex Part 3: Making Sexual Decisions with Wisdom — Not Fear
Where Do We Go From Here?
In Part 3 of our most-downloaded series On Premarital Sex, Jess and Debbie return to the conversation that shaped so much of this podcast’s early years: How do you make sexual decisions when you’ve left purity culture behind? This episode features psychotherapist and author Mathias Roberts (Beyond Shame), who helps us unpack: ✨ Why “premeditation” isn’t sinful — and why preparing (with protection, consent, communication) is essential for safety and flourishing. ✨ A harm-based definition of sexual sin that moves beyond black-and-white rules. ✨ Why sex without vulnerability...
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On Premarital Sex Part 2: Reimagining Celibacy
Where Do We Go From Here?
In Part 2 of our most-downloaded series On Premarital Sex, Jess and Debbie turn the conversation toward the other side of the sexual ethics spectrum: celibacy. After exploring progressive sexual ethics with Mathias Roberts in Part 1, this episode asks a different set of questions: What does celibacy really mean? How is celibacy different from abstinence? Can celibacy be a dignified, intentional Christian calling—not just the default for “other people”? And what does celibacy look like for straight Christians, queer Christians, divorced Christians, widows, and everyone in between?...
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On Premarital Sex Part 1: What are the rules when there are no rules?
Where Do We Go From Here?
In this re-release of one of our most downloaded series, Jess and Debbie revisit a conversation listeners return to again and again: What does a Christian sexual ethic look like after purity culture—especially when it comes to premarital sex? Joined by psychotherapist and author Mathias Roberts (Beyond Shame), Jess explores the shift many Christians face when leaving the purity culture framework behind. If you've ever wondered: How do I make sexual decisions without the old rulebook? What counts as “sexual sin” if I don’t use purity-culture categories? How do I navigate shame,...
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What We Can Learn from a Somatic Sexologist
Where Do We Go From Here?
In this episode of Where Do We Go From Here?, Jessica sits down with somatic sexologist Lydia Adéla to explore how embodiment, safety, and self-awareness can transform our experience of sexuality. Lydia shares her journey from believing she was “broken” and unable to feel pleasure, to becoming a practitioner who helps others reconnect to their bodies and experience intimacy without shame. Together, Jessica and Lydia unpack how religious conditioning, purity culture, and unrealistic media portrayals shape our sexual disconnection—and how we can begin to heal. This is a powerful and...
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Faith, Feminism & Pleasure: Rethinking the Christian Story of Sex
Where Do We Go From Here?
In this month’s Thoughts & Prayers, Jess and EDJ dive into what’s been stirring in our community conversations — from purity-culture myths about “saving sex for marriage” to what it means to reclaim feminine wisdom in a patriarchal church. The hosts reflect on the latest No Hard Feelings discussion about abstinence and sexual compatibility, explore how our theology has shaped women’s bodies and pleasure, and unpack insights from Edie J’s interview with Angela J Harrington, author of Embracing the Odd Witch in the Woods. They also take listener questions from Reddit —...
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Deconstructing Christian Patriarchy and Reclaiming Feminine Energy
Where Do We Go From Here?
In this episode, EDJ talks with Angela Herrington, author of Embracing the Old Witch in the Woods: Decolonizing the Sacred Feminine and Reclaiming Your Power. Together, they explore what it means to reconnect with feminine wisdom in a world shaped by patriarchy and Christian purity culture. Angela unpacks: The witch as a metaphor for women’s ancestral wisdom and strength How patriarchy and colonialism vilified feminine power and indigenous knowledge Why rage and pleasure are essential parts of healing The truth about Christian teachings on submission and mutuality How epigenetics...
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Does Saving Sex for Marriage Set People Up for Better or Worse Sex? - A No Hard Feelings Chat
Where Do We Go From Here?
In this month’s No Hard Feelings, Jessica, Emily, and Kristen take a deep dive into one of purity culture’s biggest promises — that saving sex for marriage leads to better, holier, and more satisfying sex. Spoiler: the data (and lived experience) tell a different story. They explore: The “sexual prosperity gospel” and why it set so many up for shame and disappointment Sheila Wray Gregoire’s landmark Great Sex Rescue study of 20,000 evangelical women The “flip-switch myth” and how lack of education and consent led to painful first experiences The 47% orgasm gap and how...
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Nobody Wants This Season 1 Recap
Where Do We Go From Here?
In this fun and thoughtful Where Do We Go From Here? conversation, Jessica and Devi revisit one of their favourite RomCom Recap episodes from Patreon — a deep dive into the Netflix hit Nobody Wants This, starring Kristen Bell and Adam Brody. They explore why this show hit such a cultural nerve, how it portrays the complexity of love between two people from different faiths, and what it teaches us about emotional honesty, boundaries, and belonging. From the “hot rabbi” to the spiral-inducing unanswered text, Jessica and Devi unpack how Nobody Wants This manages to make relationships feel...
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Why ‘Waiting on God’s Timing’ Keeps Women Stuck and other thoughts
Where Do We Go From Here?
In this reflective and wide-ranging Thoughts & Prayers episode, Jessica and EDJ explore the intersection of politics, faith, and deconstruction — from the rise of Christian nationalism in the U.S. to the way purity culture still shapes dating and marriage expectations today. Together, they talk about: How Christian nationalism differs between Australia and the U.S. What the Charlie Kirk controversy reveals about polarization and online discourse. Learning when to disengage from unproductive debates — and how that can be an act of wisdom, not defeat. Why waiting for “God’s...
info_outlineIn this episode of Thoughts and Prayers, Jessica and EDJ reflect on three key conversations from the past month — with queer theologian Brandon Robertson and Catholic academic Donna Freitas — while taking a deep dive into the question: Is it time to reimagine Christian sexual ethics?
Join them for a vulnerable, theologically rich, and sometimes hilarious discussion on queerness, purity culture, hookup culture, parenting, masturbation, and what Jesus might really have meant when he talked about lust. We finish the episode with heartfelt prayers for those navigating deconstruction and for peace in the wider world.
In This Episode:
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What does it mean to be queer affirming?
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Evangelicals vs. Catholics on sex: who talks more and says less?
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Deconstructing lust, sin, and abomination
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Parenting kids with new sexual ethics
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Why Jesus might’ve been talking about rape not just lust
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A buffet of sexual options: beyond purity and hookup culture
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The grief and grace in letting go of black-and-white certainty
Mentions:
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Brandon Robertson interview
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Donna Freitas interview
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EDJ’s upcoming book Reconstructing Sexual Ethics (Coming soon via Sacrosage Press)
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