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Submission: The Church Rule We Subconsciously Deconstructed?

Where Do We Go From Here?

Release Date: 08/19/2025

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In Part 4 of our On Premarital Sex series, Jess and Devi wrap up the conversations that have taken over your DMs and headphones all month long. After exploring progressive sexual ethics with Mathias Roberts, vocational celibacy with Peter Valk and Dr. Dani Treweek, and abstinence as a chosen path, this final episode brings everything together. This is the debrief: ✨ What the history of contraception has to do with Christian sexual ethics today ✨ Why the church’s teachings rarely match the actual behaviour of Christians ✨ Staggering data on premarital sex among churchgoing Christians...

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In Part 2 of our most-downloaded series On Premarital Sex, Jess and Debbie turn the conversation toward the other side of the sexual ethics spectrum: celibacy. After exploring progressive sexual ethics with Mathias Roberts in Part 1, this episode asks a different set of questions: What does celibacy really mean? How is celibacy different from abstinence? Can celibacy be a dignified, intentional Christian calling—not just the default for “other people”? And what does celibacy look like for straight Christians, queer Christians, divorced Christians, widows, and everyone in between?...

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In this re-release of one of our most downloaded series, Jess and Debbie revisit a conversation listeners return to again and again: What does a Christian sexual ethic look like after purity culture—especially when it comes to premarital sex? Joined by psychotherapist and author Mathias Roberts (Beyond Shame), Jess explores the shift many Christians face when leaving the purity culture framework behind. If you've ever wondered: How do I make sexual decisions without the old rulebook? What counts as “sexual sin” if I don’t use purity-culture categories? How do I navigate shame,...

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In this episode of Where Do We Go From Here?, Jessica sits down with somatic sexologist Lydia Adéla to explore how embodiment, safety, and self-awareness can transform our experience of sexuality. Lydia shares her journey from believing she was “broken” and unable to feel pleasure, to becoming a practitioner who helps others reconnect to their bodies and experience intimacy without shame. Together, Jessica and Lydia unpack how religious conditioning, purity culture, and unrealistic media portrayals shape our sexual disconnection—and how we can begin to heal. This is a powerful and...

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In this month’s No Hard Feelings, Jessica, Emily, and Kristen take a deep dive into one of purity culture’s biggest promises — that saving sex for marriage leads to better, holier, and more satisfying sex. Spoiler: the data (and lived experience) tell a different story. They explore: The “sexual prosperity gospel” and why it set so many up for shame and disappointment Sheila Wray Gregoire’s landmark Great Sex Rescue study of 20,000 evangelical women The “flip-switch myth” and how lack of education and consent led to painful first experiences The 47% orgasm gap and how...

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In this fun and thoughtful Where Do We Go From Here? conversation, Jessica and Devi revisit one of their favourite RomCom Recap episodes from Patreon — a deep dive into the Netflix hit Nobody Wants This, starring Kristen Bell and Adam Brody. They explore why this show hit such a cultural nerve, how it portrays the complexity of love between two people from different faiths, and what it teaches us about emotional honesty, boundaries, and belonging. From the “hot rabbi” to the spiral-inducing unanswered text, Jessica and Devi unpack how Nobody Wants This manages to make relationships feel...

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In this reflective and wide-ranging Thoughts & Prayers episode, Jessica and EDJ explore the intersection of politics, faith, and deconstruction — from the rise of Christian nationalism in the U.S. to the way purity culture still shapes dating and marriage expectations today. Together, they talk about: How Christian nationalism differs between Australia and the U.S. What the Charlie Kirk controversy reveals about polarization and online discourse. Learning when to disengage from unproductive debates — and how that can be an act of wisdom, not defeat. Why waiting for “God’s...

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More Episodes

In this episode of No Hard Feelings, Jessica, Emily, and Kristen tackle the loaded word submission in Christian culture. What did Paul really mean in Ephesians 5? How has the concept been shaped by history, purity culture, and translation choices? And is submission a word worth redeeming—or should we let it go?

We explore:

  • The Greek word kephalē (head, source, origin) and how translation choices influence theology.

  • Historical context: Roman household codes, women’s legal status, and why Paul’s words may have been countercultural.

  • Women in the early church: Phoebe (Romans 16:1–2), Priscilla (Acts 18:26), and Lydia (Acts 16:14–15) as leaders and patrons.

  • Industrial Revolution & Victorian ideals: how cultural shifts reinforced gendered hierarchies.

  • Modern reframing: mutual submission as respect, humility, and partnership rather than hierarchy.

  • Contemporary concerns: #MeToo, Doug Wilson’s public comments, and the church’s ongoing debates about women’s leadership.

References & Links