119. Sarah #34: The Sarah Whisperer: (Re)Parenting With Natural Consequences
Release Date: 01/11/2024
139. Sarah #44: The New Badge of Honor
Your Mental Breakdown
Doug and Kenzie break down codependence and answer a listener question about having contact with your therapist outside of your regularly scheduled sessions. In Sarah’s session, she processes some family drama involving her ex-husband. She shows progress by not getting drawn into the crisis and by letting her son have his own feelings without going into “fix-it” mode. Doug helps Sarah acknowledge how her current behaviors are more reflective of her own core identity and not the identity that was borne out of the cult. They connect this to last week’s session when Sarah gave a eulogy...
info_outline
138. Drew #102: I Don’t Want to Become My Mom
Your Mental Breakdown
Drew gives an update on his medical health and it leads to a discussion about parenting. He is worried about turning into his parents while he is preparing to become a parent himself. Doug explains how we can have traits of a personality type like narcissism or borderline without it being a diagnosable personality disorder. Drew is worried about finding a balance between focusing on himself without being too selfish and focusing on his baby without giving up himself. Kenzie and Doug break down the psychological concept of being a “good enough” parent and how we can course correct along...
info_outline
137. Sarah #43: Eulogy for My Old Self and T-Shirt
Your Mental Breakdown
Doug helps Sarah stay in the moment and allow emotions to come up. She acknowledges being more comfortable in constant motion and hypervigilance mode when she is more focused on “doing” rather than “feeling.” We hear a pivotal moment in her therapy when Sarah reads a poem she wrote as a eulogy for the motto “Keep Calm, Sarah Will Handle It.” It is an emotional goodbye and homage to her old self that embodied the motto she literally wore on a t-shirt that her siblings made for her. Sarah can envision a path ahead as a new version of herself that doesn’t try to handle everything...
info_outline
136. Drew #101: It’s All Life: Balancing Work, Rest, and Play
Your Mental Breakdown
Drew digs deeper into his core thought that his self-worth depends on how good of a provider he is to his family. Doug helps Drew explore taking care of himself in a healthy way rather than working so hard to provide that he keeps spinning plates until he gets overloaded and shuts down. Doug reframes the see-saw concept of a work-life balance to it all being under the umbrella of life with a balance of work, rest, and play. Drew draws the link to how the current imbalance is affecting his relationship and intimacy in his life right now. Kenzie breaks down how your individual dreams don’t...
info_outline
135. Sarah #42: Looking at Yourself with a Fun House Mirror Lens
Your Mental Breakdown
Sarah is interacting with the world around her slightly differently. Doug invites her to experiment with what it’s like to be the observer, especially when interacting with her siblings. Sarah is shifting from the person that tries to fix or correct everyone to the person that can just notice something happening without taking it personally. She realizes that sometimes the most powerful thing she can say is nothing. Kenzie and Doug break down the current progress and process of re-wiring Sarah’s brain without making it overtly clinical. Join Us on Social Media: YMB YMB...
info_outline
134. Drew #100: Taking a Big Rip of Oxygen
Your Mental Breakdown
Drew sees progression and growth in his relationship with a friend, but doesn’t see it with his parents. Drew has an epiphany about his relationship with them that he names “conditional love,” as he is more aware of how he people-pleases in order to feel love from them. Doug helps Drew slow down and process his thoughts and feelings about the evolving relationship with his parents. Drew acknowledges feeling embarrassed, frustrated, and disappointed in who they are now, especially as it might reflect on how people see him. Doug validates his feelings and reflects it back to him before...
info_outline
133. Sarah #41: Miss Independent Has a Robot Vacuum
Your Mental Breakdown
Doug and Sarah reflect on how growing up in a cult stripped her of agency and individuality in her own life. She is reclaiming her individuality and feeling strength in her sense of self now. Doug and Sarah make the link from this to the issue she has with control. Sarah walks through a specific example when one of her sisters was driving her car. Sarah processes the anxiety and feelings around letting go of control and spoke up for something selfishly – meaning she was taking care of herself. Doug and Kenzie break down how we can process anxiety when it hits for all of us by staying...
info_outline
132. Drew #99: I’m WebMDing Myself
Your Mental Breakdown
Drew has a birthday coming up and a few doctors’ appointments on the horizon. He is able to organize his thoughts and come up with a plan both for addressing his medical health and for celebrating his birthday. Doug helps Drew acknowledge that he is not responsible for his parents’ response to him and his boundaries. Drew is adulting! Doug and Kenzie are feeling it – literally – as an earthquake hits during recording. Join Us on Social Media: YMB YMB on YMB on
info_outline
131. Sarah #40: Doing Your Personal Best
Your Mental Breakdown
Sarah acknowledges being in a constant battle with herself because of how she wants to hear feedback from others for things she has done. She has a hard time accepting praise; and, she doesn’t mind constructive criticism if it helps her grow. Doug helps her make sense of getting comfortable without having feedback be the validation. Doug and Kenzie break down external versus internal validation and the drive to be perfect versus doing your personal best. They discuss what it is to be good enough and how “meets expectations” isn’t a negative thing. Striving for perfection is about doing...
info_outline
130. Drew #98: What Would Be Supportive to You Right Now?
Your Mental Breakdown
Drew is feeling independence and individuation from parents, especially when he signs a lease on a new place without using them as the guarantor. He had a breakaway moment after mom didn’t show up the way he wanted her to on a phone call. He felt solitude and the “solid-tude” of relying on himself not on his parents and the anxious-attachment style that often lets him down. Drew is experiencing what it’s like to choose himself and put his needs first ahead of everyone else, instead of his old pattern of putting his needs last. Doug helps him understand what it means to show up for...
info_outlineDoug introduces the concept of natural consequences to Sarah as opposed to being judge and jury as a parent, even if the punishment fits the crime. Sarah acknowledges that she is not failing as a parent; rather, she is growing as a parent. She points out that her growth is carrying over to other aspects of her life. Sarah calls Doug “the Sarah whisperer,” and Doug turns this around and reminds her that she is the one whispering to herself and growing. She is, in effect, actively re-parenting herself – and we hear it happening in this session. In the breakdown, Doug and Kenzie talk about how to know which direction to take a client during a session, especially when there are moments with multiple possibilities to process. Therapy is like a ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ book – if only real life let us peek ahead at the options before choosing!
Join Us on Social Media:
YMB on Instagram
YMB on TikTok
Mentioned in this Episode:
Choose Your Own Adventure books: