Episode 324: Why Motivators Work Better Than Punishments for Kids With Big Emotions
Release Date: 09/19/2024
Your Parenting Long Game
Many kids with big emotions lack confidence, and that can be heartbreaking to see. While building children’s confidence doesn’t happen overnight, one simple action can help. Even better, this same action can also strengthen your relationship and takes less than a minute to use! In this episode, you’ll learn: The simple strategy to strengthen your child’s confidence and your relationship How we can incorporate this strategy into our daily lives Why this strategy might not work for anxious or sensitive kids (and why that’s a good thing!) --
info_outline Episode 327: Use the Sink Metaphor to Get Unstuck from Dramatic SituationsYour Parenting Long Game
It’s very common as we’re raising kids with big emotions to walk on eggshells, fearing the moment we might “set them off.” But it is possible to learn to diffuse dramatic situations more easily so that we can handle them instead of dreading them. In this episode, you’ll learn, through the “sink metaphor”: Why it’s absolutely in our power to make situations better instead of worse What our kids really need so that they (and we) don’t get stuck in the drama What our responses are like from our children’s perspective -- Transcript of this...
info_outline Episode 326: When You Struggle to Be Consistent,Do This InsteadYour Parenting Long Game
Many children with big emotions crave consistency, but how can we be consistent when life gets in the way? There are so many things to juggle as a parent -- extracurriculars, homework, schedule changes, work trips, family visits -- and we’re tired. The good news is that there’s an alternative to consistency that is much easier to achieve as a busy parent (and it has all the same benefits!). In this episode, you’ll learn: How to reduce the pressure on yourself and still meet your kids’ needs The difference between predictability and consistency What it feels like to be...
info_outline Episode 325: Do This If You Want Your Words To Have More Impact and InfluenceYour Parenting Long Game
There is nothing worse than feeling helpless as a parent, and it’s easy to feel powerless or out of control when our kids won’t listen to what we have to say. Often when we feel powerless, we end up trying to control our children more… which only reduces our influence! Fortunately, there is a simple strategy that can help you improve the impact of your words so your children can actually hear the lessons you’re trying to teach them. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why most people dig their heels in when people try to change them How to give our kids with big emotions...
info_outline Episode 324: Why Motivators Work Better Than Punishments for Kids With Big EmotionsYour Parenting Long Game
Often when we ask our kids with big emotions to do things they have to do, instead of doing what we ask, they resist, negotiate, or even become disrespectful to us (or themselves!). And when we feel helpless and stuck, we often then fall back on strategies that our parents used with us… which tends to make things worse. So how can we motivate responsible and respectful behavior when our attempts seem to just lead to more drama? In this episode, you’ll learn: Two reasons why rewards and punishments don’t work for kids with big emotions Common reasons why children struggle (and...
info_outline Episode 323: When Children Melt Down When Things Don’t Go Their WayYour Parenting Long Game
One of the defining qualities of children with "big emotions" is that they have a hard time when things don't go their way. But explaining to them why they need to be more flexible doesn't seem to work, and it only frustrates them and us more! The good news is that we can help our children handle frustration and disappointment when we shift from telling children WHY they need to be more flexible to teaching them HOW to be more flexible. In this episode, you'll learn: Why we reduce our influence when we try to get children to accept that things won't always go their way What they truly...
info_outline Episode 322: How to Validate Your Child’s Feelings Without Condoning Their BehaviorYour Parenting Long Game
We want our children to feel respected, and we know that it’s important to connect with them and validate their feelings. But when they’ve behaved in an unacceptable way, it’s easy to wonder if, when you’re connecting with them, you’re letting them “get away” with negative behavior. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why our influence does depend on being able to balance both validation and firmness A simple formula (with examples!) to show our kids that we sincerely care about what they’re going through without condoning negative behavior --- Summary of this...
info_outline Episode 321: Supporting Children Who Struggle With Change: Starting a New School Year & BeyondYour Parenting Long Game
Changes and new situations – especially a new school year! – can create a lot of worry for our kids with big emotions. But no matter what the change is, or what their worries are, we can empower children to handle hard things. In this episode, you’ll learn: Simple steps to help kids get ready for a new school year (or any other situation that they’re nervous about) How to make it less likely that they’ll worry about changes and transitions How to help them feel more in control of situations that they are anxious about -- Summary of this episode:...
info_outline Episode 320: Have a Child Who Acts Spoiled or Entitled? Here’s What’s Really Going OnYour Parenting Long Game
Many children with big emotions can seem spoiled or entitled at times -- like they expect to get everything they want, all of the time. And even though it can be tempting to give in for the sake of family peace, there are better ways to help our children in these situations… so they can learn how to handle not getting their way in the future. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why kids with big emotions seem to always want more, more, more What we can ask ourselves to know if we’re giving our children what they truly need (or just want they want) One thing all parents can give...
info_outline Episode 319: Influencing Your Child To Be More Open to Feedback and Talking About EmotionsYour Parenting Long Game
Despite the fact that they experience emotions very intensely, it’s very common for children who feel strongly to NOT want to talk about their emotions. But in order to address negative behavior, moods, and attitudes, we need to have these conversations! The good news is that using specific phrases will allow us to improve our influence with our children so they are open to hearing us, rather than trying to avoid us. In this episode, you’ll learn: The real reasons why our children tend to avoid talking about their emotions How to start conversations with our kids (without...
info_outlineOften when we ask our kids with big emotions to do things they have to do, instead of doing what we ask, they resist, negotiate, or even become disrespectful to us (or themselves!). And when we feel helpless and stuck, we often then fall back on strategies that our parents used with us… which tends to make things worse. So how can we motivate responsible and respectful behavior when our attempts seem to just lead to more drama?
In this episode, you’ll learn:
-
Two reasons why rewards and punishments don’t work for kids with big emotions
-
Common reasons why children struggle (and how we can identify these reasons when our kids are having a hard time)
-
How to go beneath kids’ behavior to motivate more positive behaviors, moods, and attitudes with less resistance