274 - 3 Ninjas
Your Stupid Minds
It's our fourth and final foray into the 3 Ninjas franchise! We have finally completed the series in reverse chronological order by covering the original film. It's 1992's 3 Ninjas, starring Michael Treanor, Max Elliott Slade, Chad Power, and Victor Wong. Rocky (Treanor), Colt (Slade), and Tum Tum (Power) are three normal Southern Californian kids except for one small difference: they spend their summers learning the deadly art of ninjutsu with their Grandpa Mori (Wong). Their training looks suspiciously like karate, and Grandpa's lessons seems slightly contradictory ("Ninjas never fight...
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273 - Guns
Your Stupid Minds
Your Stupid Minds returns to the world of Andy Sidaris in 1990's Guns, with all your favorite Sidaris tropes: babes, hunks, Hawaii, remote control boats, regular sized boats, backwards planes, rocket launchers, motorcycles inside vans, poor marksmanship, helicopters, and so on. Starring Dona Speir, Erik Estrada, Phyllis Davis, Danny Trejo, Amon-Ra St. Brown's dad, and about 14,000 other people. With the return of special guest Nico Mesa! International criminal the Jack of Diamonds (Estrada) concocts a convoluted plan to kill off secret agent Donna Hamilton's (Speir) friends to distract her...
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272 - A Line of Fire
Your Stupid Minds
In his attempt to distance himself from the increasingly tedious God's Not Dead franchise, David A.R. White tries out a standard action thriller with the finest washed up actors Hollywood has to offer. It's 2025's A Line of Fire, starring Cuba Gooding Jr., Jason Patric, Katrina Bowden, and Scott Baio. Cash (White) is a retired FBI agent, widower, great dad, fantastic cook, and patriot with amazing hair who everyone likes and is cool. When his former partner is gunned down at a yacht party by GTA Online maniacs on WaveRunners, her niece Jamie (Bowden) retreats to a safe house and calls Cash for...
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271 - Red Sonja (2025)
Your Stupid Minds
Did you know they made a Red Sonja remake in 2025? You didn’t? Well they did. Here it is. It’s 2025’s Red Sonja, starring Matilda Lutz, Robert Sheehan, and Wallis Day. Red Sonja (Lutz) is a young Hyrkanian girl whose village is destroyed by some evil emperor. She spends the next 20 years or so wandering around in the woods with her horse, completely incurious of the apparently vast diaspora of her people across the land. Eventually the new emperor Draygan (Sheehan) sends some guys to kill fantasy forest rhinos. Red Sonja gets mad and starts a fight with his Mercy Graves style henchwoman...
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270 - Man of the House
Your Stupid Minds
Your Stupid Minds is back in 2026 with 1995's Man of the House, part of a crop of mid-90s Disney live action comedies about how hard it is to be a father or whatever. Starring Chevy Chase, Farrah Fawcett, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, and George Wendt. After Ben's (JTT) father left the family years ago, he has formed a close bond with his mother Sandy (Fawcett) and is wary of her new fiancé, U.S. Attorney Jack (Chase). In an effort to bond with his future stepson, Jack joins the Indian Guides and befriends a bunch of weirdos, including pack (or whatever, I only know Boy Scout terms) leader Chet...
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269 - Christmas Bedtime Stories
Your Stupid Minds
Per holiday tradition, Your Stupid Minds returns with another Hallmark Christmas movie, one that is so insulting not even Hallmark Christmas movie fans like it. It's 2022's Christmas Bedtime Stories, starring Erin Cahill, Steve Lund, and Charlie Weber. Danielle (Cahill) is a war widow mother whose perfect Marine husband was killed in combat three years prior. Christmas is coming up and, since all major events in her life revolve around Christmas, she's feeling the loss especially hard. These feelings are exacerbated when her chaste Ken doll boyfriend Pierce (Lund) proposes. She says yes, but...
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268 - Snow White (2025)
Your Stupid Minds
Your Stupid Minds returns after a brief unplanned hiatus to give you a film generally reviled in both concept and execution across the entire political spectrum. It's hopefully one of Disney's last romps into the live action remake sphere: 2025's Snow White. We're all familiar with the formula by now: take an animated classic from the back catalogue, cast someone who can sing as the lead, someone who can't sing as the villain, fill the rest of the roles with nobodies you can pay scale, add some lens flares and CGI nightmares and shove it into theaters for a cool billion dollar global gross....
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267 - Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers
Your Stupid Minds
After a contentious bidding war with New Line Cinema, Miramax was determined to revamp the Halloween franchise with this jumbled mess. It's 1995's Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers, starring Donald Pleasance, Marianne Hagan, Kim Darby, and Paul Rudd. When Michael Myers and his niece Jamie (J.C. Brandy) are kidnapped by cultists at the end of Halloween V: The Revenge of Michael Myers (don’t worry, we get into the series chronology in the episode), Jamie is forced to give birth to a baby for we assume child sacrifice purposes. She escapes with her newborn but is murdered by Michael; the...
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266 - The Murder Mansion
Your Stupid Minds
Your Stupid Minds starts its spooktacular October with a Spanish/Italian collab that numerous Letterboxd reviews describe as "giallo meets Scooby Doo," presumably because there's one mask reveal and some Italians are involved. It's 1972's The Murder Mansion! After an "exciting" car/motorcycle chase, speed demon Fred (Andrés Resino) steals comely hitchhiker Laura (Lisa Leonardo) from sweaty creep Mr. Porter (Franco Fantasia). Meanwhile, neurotic divorcee Elsa (Analía Gadé) races off into the foggy night with some other people. They all find themselves lost in the fog (even after Fred asks...
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265 - The Three Musketeers (2011)
Your Stupid Minds
Wirework lover and wife guy Paul W.S. Anderson tries his hand at an adventure classic with 2011’s The Three Musketeers! How is he going to find a way to add Matrix fights, laser traps and exploding airships into this one? Starring Ray Stevenson, Luke Evans, Orlando Bloom, Mads Mikkelsen, Chrisoph Waltz, and, you guessed it, Milla Jovovich. After a successful heist in Venice, the musketeers and Milady manage to steal Leonardo la Vinci’s famous airship plans. Athos (Matthew Macfadyen) uses his classic scuba ninja skills, Aramis (Evans) his Assassin’s Creed cloak-wearing skills, and Porthos...
info_outlineDid you know they made a Red Sonja remake in 2025? You didn’t? Well they did. Here it is. It’s 2025’s Red Sonja, starring Matilda Lutz, Robert Sheehan, and Wallis Day.
Red Sonja (Lutz) is a young Hyrkanian girl whose village is destroyed by some evil emperor. She spends the next 20 years or so wandering around in the woods with her horse, completely incurious of the apparently vast diaspora of her people across the land. Eventually the new emperor Draygan (Sheehan) sends some guys to kill fantasy forest rhinos. Red Sonja gets mad and starts a fight with his Mercy Graves style henchwoman (slash lover? Unclear) Annisia (Day). Red Sonja loses and is imprisoned inside a little mini-Gladiator ripoff movie in the middle of this movie.
When he was young, Draygan stole half of the holy book of the Hyrkanian people, using its knowledge of power orbs, flamethrowers, and RobCo brain-computer interface chips to escape slavery and ascend to emperor.
Red Sonja fights her way out of gladiatorial bondage, still keeping her signature chainmail bikini so online weirdos don’t get mad at the movie. Can she save the land and avenge her people? Is Draygan really so bad? And what’s in the second half of the holy book? Maybe like a nine-bolted crossbow or a Super Soaker that shoots acid? Who knows! You’ll have to listen to find out.