281 - Cop & ½
Your Stupid Minds
Your Stupid Minds fulfills the Siskel and Ebert prophecy and reviews 1993's Cop & ½ (or Cop and a Half, if you prefer English). Starring Burt Reynolds, Norman D. Holden II, Ruby Dee, and Ray Sharkey. Directed by Henry Winkler. Devon Butler (Golden) is an 8-year-old kid who's obsessed with being a cop. When he witnesses a mob execution, he negotiates the exchange of evidence for being a police officer for one day. The stupid chief assigns the babysitting role to the oldest and crankiest guy on the force: Nick McKenna (Reynolds). The second act devotes its time mostly in search of a plot....
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280 - Carnosaur
Your Stupid Minds
Your Stupid Minds transitions seamlessly from Tammy and the T-Rex to the Roger Corman quickie dino picture Carnosaur, released mere weeks before Jurassic Park. This is the first in a double feature to answer the : Carnosaur or Cop and a Half. Which is better? Dr. Jane Tiptree (Diane Ladd, yes, Laura Dern's mom) is an evil scientist who attempts to achieve the impossible dream we've all pondered from time to time: can a viral bioweapon developed from genetically modified chickens impregnate all women on the planet with dinosaur embryos in order to replace the human race? She puts her plan into...
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279 - Tammy and the T-Rex
Your Stupid Minds
It's a tale as old as time. Boy meets girl. Girl’s jealous ex-boyfriend beats up boy. Ex-boyfriend leaves boy in animal sanctuary. Boy is mauled by lion. Mad scientist puts boy's brain into robotic Tyrannosaurus rex. It's 1994's Tammy and the T-Rex, starring Denise Richards, Paul Walker, and George Pilgrim. As mentioned above, Tammy (Richards) and Michael (Walker) and are love. But Tammy's much older dirtbag boyfriend Billy (Pilgrim) (so it goes) and his gang of loyal hoodlums won't stop terrorizing them. After a terrifying standoff where the teenager and adult man refuse to let go of each...
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278 - Dream a Little Dream 2
Your Stupid Minds
We've done Corey Feldman. We've done Corey Haim. But we've never done one with both. We end that drought today with 1995's Dream a Little Dream 2, also starring Robyn Lively, Stacie Randall, and Robert Costanzo. After the events of the first film, which is I guess a body swap picture involving transcendental meditation in Cleveland, Bobby Keller (Feldman) and Dinger Holfield (Haim) are living in Los Angeles with Dinger's previously unseen sister Rachel (Lively). The two are mailed two pairs of sunglasses, and after a surprisingly short investigation, Rachel determines these are magic...
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277 - Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Your Stupid Minds
Your Stupid Minds covers FOX's backdoor pilot for a show all about Marvel's 92nd favorite character. The problem being that it came in fourth in the ratings and was never picked up as a series. It's 1998's Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. Starring David Hasselhoff, Lisa Rinna, Sandra Hess, and Ron Canada. After HYDRA kills Clay Quartermain in a raid on a S.H.I.E.L.D. facility, Nick Fury (Hasselhoff) is brought back on after being unceremoniously kicked out five years earlier for being too cool. He abandons the gold mine he's hiding out in for the last half decade and gets back to work....
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276 - George of the Jungle 2
Your Stupid Minds
We cover direct to video sequel to moderate Disney hit. Brendan Fraser say no to come back. No Leslie Mann either. Thomas Haden Church say yes. Career in toilet after Wings before Sideways. It George of the Jungle 2. From 2003. Six years after the first film, George (now played by Christopher Showerman, which sounds like an alias someone came up with extemporaneously while in a locker room) and Ursula (now played by Julie Benz) have a five-year-old son George Jr. (played by an obviously way older than five Angus T. Jones). George balances home life with his duties as King of the Jungle....
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275 - The Octagon
Your Stupid Minds
Your Stupid Minds is back! Chuck Norris uses his iron leg to battle ninjas, mercenaries, and deceptive women in the low budget classic The Octagon! Strap yourself in for the best approximation of the plot we could put together. Scott James (Chuck Norris) is a famous martial artist who has a secret past as a ninja. Or just trained as a ninja. He has an evil Japanese brother Seikura (Tadashi Yamashita) who got kicked out of ninja school and is now training terrorists against their will in the art of ninja. Scott goes on a date with a woman and she’s killed by ninjas. He goes on a quest to find...
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274 - 3 Ninjas
Your Stupid Minds
It's our fourth and final foray into the 3 Ninjas franchise! We have finally completed the series in reverse chronological order by covering the original film. It's 1992's 3 Ninjas, starring Michael Treanor, Max Elliott Slade, Chad Power, and Victor Wong. Rocky (Treanor), Colt (Slade), and Tum Tum (Power) are three normal Southern Californian kids except for one small difference: they spend their summers learning the deadly art of ninjutsu with their Grandpa Mori (Wong). Their training looks suspiciously like karate, and Grandpa's lessons seems slightly contradictory ("Ninjas never fight...
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273 - Guns
Your Stupid Minds
Your Stupid Minds returns to the world of Andy Sidaris in 1990's Guns, with all your favorite Sidaris tropes: babes, hunks, Hawaii, remote control boats, regular sized boats, backwards planes, rocket launchers, motorcycles inside vans, poor marksmanship, helicopters, and so on. Starring Dona Speir, Erik Estrada, Phyllis Davis, Danny Trejo, Amon-Ra St. Brown's dad, and about 14,000 other people. With the return of special guest Nico Mesa! International criminal the Jack of Diamonds (Estrada) concocts a convoluted plan to kill off secret agent Donna Hamilton's (Speir) friends to distract her...
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272 - A Line of Fire
Your Stupid Minds
In his attempt to distance himself from the increasingly tedious God's Not Dead franchise, David A.R. White tries out a standard action thriller with the finest washed up actors Hollywood has to offer. It's 2025's A Line of Fire, starring Cuba Gooding Jr., Jason Patric, Katrina Bowden, and Scott Baio. Cash (White) is a retired FBI agent, widower, great dad, fantastic cook, and patriot with amazing hair who everyone likes and is cool. When his former partner is gunned down at a yacht party by GTA Online maniacs on WaveRunners, her niece Jamie (Bowden) retreats to a safe house and calls Cash for...
info_outlineYour Stupid Minds covers FOX's backdoor pilot for a show all about Marvel's 92nd favorite character. The problem being that it came in fourth in the ratings and was never picked up as a series. It's 1998's Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. Starring David Hasselhoff, Lisa Rinna, Sandra Hess, and Ron Canada.
After HYDRA kills Clay Quartermain in a raid on a S.H.I.E.L.D. facility, Nick Fury (Hasselhoff) is brought back on after being unceremoniously kicked out five years earlier for being too cool. He abandons the gold mine he's hiding out in for the last half decade and gets back to work.
Fury reunites with his former lover and future series love interest that never was Contessa Valentina 'Val' de Allegro Fontaine (Rinna), some nerd Alexander Pierce (Neil Roberts, and yes that Alexander Pierce from Winter Soldier, but British for some reason), and a psychic and get to work stopping HYDRA.
Andrea Von Strucker (Hess) has reignited her frozen father's dream of HYDRA world domination and Nazi-style terrorism, and is also Viper. She gets the drop on Fury, and drops some tree frog poison onto his lips via her lips. He has 48 hours to live, but Fury ignores tech genius Gabriel Jones's (Canada) advice of hanging out in the infirmary until he dies, and goes on a quest to save his own life instead by extracting Andrea's blood for an antidote.
HYDRA is also planning to shoot deadly virus missiles in the general direction of the World Trade Center (collar tug) so they have to stop that too. Screenwriter David S. Goyer borrows a story idea he'll have 14 years later in The Dark Knight Rises and Val tracks a series of dummy trucks in the hopes of finding the one with the real virus bomb.
Fury invades the HYDRA compound in New Jersey and is immediately captured, but not before stashing his robot doppelgänger somewhere in an unfilmed scene. He uses said doppelgänger to fake his own death long enough to capture Andrea and extract her blood (they also thwart the missile launch), but she escapes with her dad's frozen corpse pod that she apparently strapped rockets to.
Luckily, all these loose ends are ready to tie up in FOX's new Nick Fury series that everyone will love and definitely wouldn't have moved around the schedule three times before being unceremoniously canceled after six episodes.