BAITLINE

is your showerhead making you gay? can the economy save sluts? can sluts save the economy?? and, local man claims new evidence of elusive "cissexual". this and more... tonight... on Baitline.

Nymphsons Did It! 04/27/2024

Nymphsons Did It! Nymphsons did it! Nymphsons did it! *** it appears we've become a show of pitches. remember when we said we'd be back back back (again)? well not quite. see, zak was supposed to bring new pitches to the sharks (xander) fer episodes this season [yes yes fine we'll call this season 3. goddammit. really fuckin lucy from peanuts'ing ourselves here]. and then we'd try out a scene 'r two. but instead he took xander's bigole t-infected nose and shoved it in the rss feed of megahit trans podcast... The Simpsons. i mean, The Read. fuck. wait, no. i mean Sloppy Seconds. nonono wait hold up i mean uh, A Field Guide to Gay Animals. shit. what was it? Contrapoints? ~~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet! /episode/index/show/168332f7-0d3c-4987-8468-df9a4eef43ba/id/31012798

Yu-Gi-No! 04/08/2024

Yu-Gi-No! with special guest... Deven! *** lost between ideas and seasons, Xander pitches tHe BoYs an audio drama we will toooootally make. and you might be like "woah is time a flat circle?" because boy-howdy do we keep repeating entire sections of the conversation like blabbermouth goldfish. anyways, it's time to P-P-P-P--PPPP-POO(uel) 🥴 ~~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet! /episode/index/show/168332f7-0d3c-4987-8468-df9a4eef43ba/id/30705608

The Fart Trilogy: Go PP in the Gouthouse 03/17/2024

The Fart Trilogy: Go PP in the Gouthouse Steve... upstairs... there's a body-ody-ody *** zak and xan finish up they/them/their lil chat trilogy / bridge of seasons / un-deadening of the feed with sum piping hott ttea on a baton rouge slumlord who is unfortunately no longer with us, or his wife, but he's probably still kickin around... somewhere idk. this is the story of Gouthouse. returning to totally not canned programming soon <3 just needed sum gas to fill the vacuum of the soul. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet! /episode/index/show/168332f7-0d3c-4987-8468-df9a4eef43ba/id/29790123

The Fart Trilogy: The News 02/04/2024

The Fart Trilogy: The News we havent been gone idk wht yer tlkng abt, dg. *** totally normal . bringing you up-to-the-minute ho t fresh ready news JOURNALISM and held beliefs of ppl on tape. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet! /episode/index/show/168332f7-0d3c-4987-8468-df9a4eef43ba/id/29790108

The Fart Trilogy: Stink Noise 11/04/2023

The Fart Trilogy: Stink Noise zak doesnt like farts *** this convo is from right after Beau is Afraid left theatres. we came up with Heaux is Afraid right after this lil ep recording <3. hope you enjoy some foooooolin arounddd! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet! /episode/index/show/168332f7-0d3c-4987-8468-df9a4eef43ba/id/28512608

Heaux is Afraid 10/25/2023

Heaux is Afraid you been havin real bad dreams. uh oh. *** long. pointless. could be cut by 1/3. full of mismatched cameos and 4ucked up bullshit. just brilliant. but that's the story of beau. this is the story of a heaux. fuelled by post surgical meds and momhate, we bring you our freighter-paced opus, Heaux is Afraid. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet! /episode/index/show/168332f7-0d3c-4987-8468-df9a4eef43ba/id/28418507

I Try to Talk to You Like a Sister 10/19/2023

I Try to Talk to You Like a Sister oop. time ta go. *** zak and xan sit down fer a short chat as they feverishly edit other episodes and "hold down" jobs. hmmmm what's here? uh... Tall Girl 2020 // Hassidic Drag Race // Zak Gets The Staircase'd // "truss rods" // Tall Girl 4 Prison! // It's Giving Tree ~~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet! /episode/index/show/168332f7-0d3c-4987-8468-df9a4eef43ba/id/28364240

The Ones Who Walk Away From Ogaylas 10/11/2023

The Ones Who Walk Away From Ogaylas not all who cum... stay. sum walk away. *** ok so aparently ppl say "OH-muh-LASS" not "oh-MAY-luss" so this joke barely works. blame my fuckin elementary school teachers. also xander had asshole surgery so this is a STANDING POD. she can't do a whole lot but boy can she still bang that fuckin soundbored. hopefully there are no ~unforseen side effects~ of the nip or the tuck. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet! /episode/index/show/168332f7-0d3c-4987-8468-df9a4eef43ba/id/28214288

OPERATION: DEATHSTROKE 10/03/2023

OPERATION: DEATHSTROKE for the good of mankind, He must stroke it. *** the girls? they wanna have fun. the boys? they wanna serve our nation. not cunt. not the house down. our boys wanna serve up the sweet sweet nectar of political assassination and the destruction of Ameri(JF)KKKa. in a chat ep gone wrong, zak and xan present the story of Deathstroke! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet! /episode/index/show/168332f7-0d3c-4987-8468-df9a4eef43ba/id/28214150

Season One (Is Over) 09/26/2023

Season One (Is Over) it's still another season folx. and we're still sayin it. *** zak and xan sit down fer a good ole chat ep with the soundbored. things we're askin this week: what's the bit fer season two? what is a season two? and how do you season yer twos for a low-n-slow roast in the oven? while i have no answers for wahtever i just typed, i know i am typing a second bit where i say "what i do know is... season two comes when Season One Is Over, bby..." ~~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet! /episode/index/show/168332f7-0d3c-4987-8468-df9a4eef43ba/id/28151213

The Zak Lanius Show 09/19/2023

The Zak Lanius Show zak is back! and everything is fine! *** [tk description] ~~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet! /episode/index/show/168332f7-0d3c-4987-8468-df9a4eef43ba/id/28054434

hey zak. where y'at? 09/13/2023

hey zak. where y'at? szn1 cutting room floor special. zak is gone. *** well its its a second season and its a clips-- its the second season and this is n't the trope of someone being gone in the episode and then THEN coming back because i don't knoW WHERE ZAK IS! are yout here? in the meantime. here are some fun bits. - xander ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet! /episode/index/show/168332f7-0d3c-4987-8468-df9a4eef43ba/id/27046701

The Walkman Tapes 01/13/2023

The Walkman Tapes "and what... pray tell, does a podcast do to help people?" *** zak asks xander for help with talking to people about the show. then, zak talks to people. this is that. ~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet! /episode/index/show/168332f7-0d3c-4987-8468-df9a4eef43ba/id/25595517

The Try Goys: Show and Tell Special 01/07/2023

The Try Goys: Show and Tell Special goy = girl & boy . don't @ me *** zak and xan swap ""cultural artifacts"' to illuminate each other to the plights and pleasures of their "ppl". but we're not kickin' back watchin american soccer with a Brewskiiiii or walking into any given room and making everything about yourself. no no. we're swapping real culture. talkin pain. talkin mind-altering subtances. talkin blooooooooood. may the Gods of Destruction and Libation smile upon sally hanson's pasty, gritty, titty assh*ole. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet! /episode/index/show/168332f7-0d3c-4987-8468-df9a4eef43ba/id/25530873

Music Time 12/23/2022

Music Time zak and xan "cut" an "album" *** 'twas the night before xander's first HRT appointment, and [tk -b]. [tk- a (ryhmes with "appointment"], [tk- b]. ernge was drunk, but far from a louse. he pulled out his keyboard, and xander a laptop. they played some music while drinking these bad shots. praline alcohol pervaded the air, as screams and songbirds... hung... excitement -- uh, with care. /// ok i'm done. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet! /episode/index/show/168332f7-0d3c-4987-8468-df9a4eef43ba/id/25415316

Southern Fried DecaDON'T 12/16/2022

Southern Fried DecaDON'T xander went to decadence. zak has questions. *** toot toot. beep BEEP. got another live, not late, totally happening Right Now episode with clear-eyed, hot, fresh, steaming drama at the HEIGHT of tension. in this one we got broken glass, broken relationships, and broken promises. also a broken file so we had to start over and stitch it together. we share this convo as an unnumbered, uncatalogued, Non-Indexed list of DON'Ts for any Southern Decadence experience <3. and of course be sure to get those packages out before its too late! "holidays" and all ofc. ~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet! /episode/index/show/168332f7-0d3c-4987-8468-df9a4eef43ba/id/25346622

SUCKSESSION 12/07/2022

SUCKSESSION disrupt dicksucking. disrupt dumptruck fucking. disrupt everything! *** this week zak and xander take a deep-dive into Succession fanfiction classic written by visionary poster, Ioper (eye-OH-purr?). this was supposed to be a 15min bit "warm up" that became a saga of lust, longing, devil's dick 3sums, and the haunting music of nicklus brittle. truly the most beautiful, insightful, thought-provoking conversation about WarnerMedia asset Succession that never was. we loooved spending the finite amount of life we got so we could read this instant-classic (a la Cars 2006). in closing - if you work at pineapple street media, reach out! we'd love to ignore those messages! let's stop a conversation :) [CW we're reading erotica, m'kay?] [PS - Ioper, if you hear this: not fucking around. we love you, babe. <3] [PPS - our daring duo had covid a week before recording this so mind the coughin.] [PPPS - hope to see you at PodFest BR '22 next week!] ~~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet /episode/index/show/168332f7-0d3c-4987-8468-df9a4eef43ba/id/25248462

Say It! 11/30/2022

Say It! zak and xan pilot a game show. *** 2022 is the Year of the Faggot. present-day acceptance and transformation of the word faggot is unlike anything the world has ever seen before. some choose to reclaim. some choose to scorn. a few just cum spontaneously. but! this movement is not just in the hands of the tranz or gayes. after all, movies like “BROS” “Blonde” and “Dallas Buyers Club 2” made the Cissexual American Public better able to express when and where they see a faggot. with a small amount of cash, microphones we don’t own, and a thirst for knowledge, we will find out: how many people would say faggot for a dollar? and -- sometimes -- why? this is, Say It. ~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet /episode/index/show/168332f7-0d3c-4987-8468-df9a4eef43ba/id/25127502

t-4-Tina 11/23/2022

t-4-Tina a series of origin stories. *** elon musk falls in love with an elephant // a room full of corners // golden girls do nasal spray k // *crying, stomping down the marble staircase* did you suck his cock??? // xander stops fisting and starts footing... her own moUTH! // NEW WORKOUt ROUTINE // got big titties and a big dick // a lonely man asks, please - please cum in me ~~~~~~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet /episode/index/show/168332f7-0d3c-4987-8468-df9a4eef43ba/id/25106580

The SoundBored 11/16/2022

The SoundBored welcome to the show. *** toni collete and madelyn ashton scissor in the tree house // aruthur morgan gets mindblowing head from a horse // scooby doo comes out as a 'rumdump' // zak and xander get 'plur' // we mourn the loss of king alex jones // all of us pretend this conversation isn't months old on arrival ~~~~~ @baitlinepod on the internet /episode/index/show/168332f7-0d3c-4987-8468-df9a4eef43ba/id/25028109

"trailer" 10/27/2022

"trailer" shit to come! truly! shit!! <3 [full eps in november] /episode/index/show/168332f7-0d3c-4987-8468-df9a4eef43ba/id/24813924

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