Generation Artax
Generation Artax is a podcast hosted by three GenX sisters from New Jersey who grew up in the ’80s and ’90s. The name comes from that traumatizing scene in The NeverEnding Story when Atreyu’s horse, Artax, sinks into the Swamps of Sadness—an apt metaphor for a forgotten generation. Join Terri Trespicio, Kim O’Brien, and Lori Regan for lighthearted discussion, secondhand embarrassment, teenage heartbreak, and nostalgia for a time before social media or seatbelts (when we sat in the way-way back). Expect cringe journal entries, pop-culture deep dives, and some serious belly laughs. (Warning: You may pee a little.)
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AOL Meet Cute
10/12/2026
AOL Meet Cute
Remember simpler times when your biggest fear about a guy was that he wouldn’t be hot? In this episode, we go back to 1996 when Lori meets a man "on the computer" and thinks it's a good idea to keep him a secret. Because that usually works out. Plus: Terri sleeps with the same guy twice and doesn’t realize it; Lori takes Judge Judy obsession to a new level; and the endless fascination with Lilliputian hallucinations. Welcome to Generation Artax. Terri gets her official ADHD diagnosis Kim is the only unmedicated person in the family Lori takes her Judge Judy obsession to the next level Unsolved Mysteries is true crime blue balls We’re catching up to Black Mirror like a little too fast At long last: The Gary story (the full character arc), and how they met in an AOL chat room Lori meets a stranger from the computer in person and somehow doesn’t get murdered, but blocks out the entire event. Lori does the Schroedinger’s cat exercise about a guy who may or may not be hot Lori gives herself a nickname that only she uses Lori fears that liking a man will cost her her independence Lori discovers her potential as sketch artist The time Terri matched with same guy twice–and it was a guy she had already slept with Lilliputian hallucinations: Mushroom side effect or lifting the veil? Visit our website: and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.
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Daycamp Royalty
10/05/2026
Daycamp Royalty
It took years, but at long last, Kim is popular at camp (and any surprise? Named Camper of the Week). In this episode, we relive the fever dream that was day camp in the 80s, complete with capture the flag, hook tag, and camp songs burned into our brains. Terri shares a letter from a very sad older guy who will never stop loving her. Plus: Kim does qigong, Lori tries puppy yoga, and Terri likes riding her Peloton at night. Welcome to Generation Artax. Puppy yoga, qigong, Crossfit, and late night biking Going back to bed Pioneer trails camp days and the day Kim was “damn miserable” Kim yells at a girl, calls her a jerk and establishes boundaries Kim is finally popular at camp; it’s taken 5 years Kim earns Camper of the Week at sleepaway camp Capture the flag. Hook tag. Bug juice. Daycamp royalty. Camp singalong: Just a boy and girl in a little canoe, Johnny Appleseed and more 14 yo Terri gets a depressed letter from a guy she wasn’t into Lori dated an Asian once, even though her dating profile said she wouldn’t Kim and Lori are totally fine sitting in coach UNRELATED: A place you’d love to sleep. Visit our website: and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.
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Kim’s Not That Nice
09/28/2026
Kim’s Not That Nice
Think Kim’s sweet as pie? Think again. When Kim unearths a letter from her emo boyfriend in 1994, she finds clear evidence that she, too, can be cold as ice. Also, she’s really sorry about that. Lori is told she has no chance with Robert, weeps into a journal about it and then berates herself later. Drama at the H.O.R.D.E Festival, what it means to be grown up, and do we look like our names or no? Welcome to Generation Artax. Lori’s never heard of the word “gams” Kim goes to the Horde Festival and hurts her emo boyfriend’s feelings Kim reconciles with her poor behavior; self-flagellation ensues Do we actually know who we were? Or are we just remembering whatever makes us look good? Lori has a breakdown freshman year when her stereo breaks Let’s talk light coverups for the office Lori bought a couple clothes. She owns, in fact, several clothes. In 1991 Lori literally weeps onto her journal, points out the tear stains, and then later accuses herself of being such a dork Wisdom from Ferris Bueller about ass-kissing Lori wants a When Harry Met Sally Relationship Lori has no chance with Robert There aren’t actually many unique human experiences. You’re grown up when you have a husband, but you’re really grown up when you have an ex-husband Go ahead ask us how old we are, also stop complaining about how old you are How long have humans had access to hot showers? UNRELATED: What name do you get that isn’t your name, also what names do we look like? Visit our website: and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.
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Terri is Hellish
09/21/2026
Terri is Hellish
In case you think our sister relationship has been a unicorn dream, you might want to read Kim’s entry from 1991. Because as it turns out, she dreads the minute Terri comes home from college. Why? Because she throws off the vibes and fucks up Kim’s friend dynamic. Plus, Terri writes Lori a motivational letter she didn’t ask for, sophomore year of high school is lackluster, and a contraption for removing spiders from your home. Gross. Welcome to Generation Artax. Kim finally watches Schitts Creek and understands now Terri discovers the magic of Ritalyn Lori took Ritalyn and thought she was just suddenly interested in her history textbook Let’s have a dumb fight about social media Terri writes Lori a motivational letter but she’s mainly talking to herself Kim is afraid this note from the 90s will hurt Terri’s feelings today, but she’s kinda pissed It’s hellish when Terri comes home from college, and Kim dreads it Kim’s friends act differently when Terri’s around because she throws the dynamic. We never said gay - or, we said it, but it was a derogative term at the time Terri is unimpressed by sophomore year high school Kim doesn’t like the idea of having household staff, even in the middle ages Lori wishes she lived in America pre-everything Lori has never seen Avatar, but we’re sure she’d fit in there How to get rid of spiders, and can we stop talking about spider eggs thank you UNRELATED: What century would you live in Visit our website: and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.
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Disco Fries
09/14/2026
Disco Fries
We kick off this episode with fears of the ocean, specifically: submerged objects, huge waves, and Hudson River ferries. On the tech front, Kim’s a big fan of early-days electronic mail and Terri saves her breakup letter as a template for future use. Plus: tanning beds, spring break, and what to order at a diner at night. Also, can we just say it? Lunch sucks. Welcome to Generation Artax. Terri’s friend Kelly Anderson’s debut novel The Wild Beneath hits big (no spoilers) The Last House movie (some spoilers) Lori has submechanophobia and she’s really uncomfortable talking about things underwater Terri’s afraid of waves, the North Sea, and basically has a touch of thalassophobia Lori gets Terri on a ferry Terri saves her first Dear John letter as a template Another boy that Terri got the ick from, and yes he was a short king Habitat for humanity and Kim’s very wholesome spring break in Appalachia technology today, huh! Kim writes to mom via electronic mail Kim has her first grilled cheese as a sophomore in college Are tanning beds back? Cuz Lori’s a fan Lori loved her yard-long cocktails Lori drops a deuce at PetSmart Lori has true gratitude for access to her own bathroom at any point Luxury is your own bathroom Can we be adults and stop with the stalls Europeans are weird w bathrooms Disco fries Unrelated: brunch or lunch Terri’s still afraid of salads Lunch is useless Visit our website: and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.
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Spin the Bottle
09/07/2026
Spin the Bottle
OMG we’re back again! Terri revisits the 90s at the Backstreet Boys in Vegas. Kim and Lori move our dad into an assisted living facility, which is giving strong cruise ship vibes. Then we go back in time to Lori’s melodramatic entry from 1991 when she decides her love train has left the station. Fun fact: Terri’s first few makeouts were with people named Jason. Want to play Spin the Bottle? Meh. Welcome to Generation Artax. Are ringer tee’s a thing? Kim and Lori move Dad into his new home, and leave his place looking like the FBI ransacked it Kim wants to shed her worldly goods - why do we have so much stuff? Lori may have a hoarding problem 11 yo Lori’s love train leaves the station, but also, she’s not into “fast” guys Terri’s first few hookups were all named Jason Spin the bottle is nonconsensual and that’s a problem, but it’s also the point. Lori played spin the bottle in college, but she played it ironically Terri has her first kiss and tells her mom too much More than 55,000 boys born in 1977 were named Jason UNRELATED: If you could go back in time and haunt yourself, what moment would you choose? Visit our website: and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.
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Don't Call It a BJ
08/31/2026
Don't Call It a BJ
Need furniture assembled? Call Lori. She’s got IKEA-level IQ. Also, they shouldn’t call it a blow job because the term is misleading for beginners. Kim cuts her foot up real bad, Lori works on her memory, Terri writes Kim a letter in 1988 that sounds as if it’s from overseas. By the way, does anyone remember Splashdance? Welcome to Generation Artax. Also in this episode: Lori’s IQ says she’s good at assembling furniture Moving our dad to assisted living Why do they call it “blow job” - Kim took it literally They shouldn’t call it a blow job, because that was confusing Kim breaks glass with her foot Kim’s higher self tells her to abort mission on her first bj Lori works on her memory City dogs are better than suburban dogs 1988 Letter to Kim on her 12th birthday The secret catholic retreat we can’t talk about First rule of Church club UNRELATED: Which album do you know every word of? Terri pretends she knows all the words to Aladdin, but def doesn’t Kim literally still listens to Debbie Gibson We remember Splashdance and no one else does (prove us wrong!) Are cats secretly laughing at us in an evil way?
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Missed Curfew
08/24/2026
Missed Curfew
No one is surprised when Kim is elected Social Council President, but it is odd that she goes on the road to do PR work for the school. Also in this episode: Terri writes Kim a poem in rhyming couplets. Why building a fort is a critical rite of passage. Kim sneaks out to get felt up; Lori misses curfew, and Terri does the unthinkable in public. Welcome to Generation Artax. Other times we got into trouble: Wiffle ball tournament Kim drinks Starbucks in Rome — and her order is jawdropping Strawberry is hot in NYC right now Kim used to bark people into our high school 14-year-old Kim was a PR Rep The day Kim lost her nerve and froze on stage Kim is voted social council president, until it involves real work Jan 17 1988 Terri’s poem to 11 yo Kim The poem Terri wrote to Kim in 1988 in rhyming couplets Summer camp at the Bible College Lori’s a big fan of Bob Ross Lori knocks a plant over and thinks it’s now dead Kim sneaks out in the dead of night Kim goes retro 90s to see the Gin Blossoms Kim never had a unibrow, though we claim otherwise Visit our website: and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.
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Cage Dancing Days
08/17/2026
Cage Dancing Days
After graduating from Boston College Magna Cum Laude, what does a girl do? Pick up work as a cage dancer, of course. (Her mother was so proud.) Lori makes a gruesome discovery in her kitchen, Kim shares an email she sent from the computer lab, and Terri cries on prom night. Welcome to Generation Artax. Whoops! We f’d up the second half of the show so we re-record it the next morning at 7am. Terri’s cat Silas undergoes surgery and then acts like nothing happened. Maggots, ants, and other revolting parts of the carbon cycle Kim has strong feelings about carpenter ants Kim makes up a fable about the Huntsman spider Remember the computer lab? That place you walk thru the snow to get to so you can send an email? In 1995, Terri is depressed and also a cage dancer but those are not causally related Visit our website: and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.
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Leave Kevin Bacon Alone
08/10/2026
Leave Kevin Bacon Alone
We’re excited that this is our 40th episode — and it’s been one year since we even had the idea to do a podcast. This time, we hark back to the early 90s, and pour one out for our great Aunt Helen. Plus: Crooner revue! Lori does impressions of Cher, Judy Garland, and more. Terri has a Kevin Bacon sighting, and we all agree that VR headsets are nauseating. Welcome to Generation Artax. Also in this episode: Aruba, Jamaica, ooh, I wanna take ya Kim can’t stomach virtual rides Is all of life a VR headset game without the headset Airboating in the Florida Everglades Is this life a hell realm? Crooner revue: Lori’s Judy Garland impression and obsession with Harry Connick, Jr. Crooner revue Terri has a Kevin Bacon Central Park sighting and has a weird thing about famous people Terri tells Kathleen Turner she’s beautiful Do celebrities like being anonymous? Nope Unrelated: Whose singing voice would you know anywhere? Visit our website: and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.
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Terrible Lay
08/03/2026
Terrible Lay
Lori decides in the 90s that sex sucks and it’s never going to get any better. Let’s go over the details of the Sesame Place incident, the cactus incident, and the other assorted injuries Kim has suffered over the years. Plus: Truth or dare, Lori is a crank, and why Kim hates it when Terri takes over and ruins the fun. Welcome to Generation Artax. Terri looks like a wacky childless aunt Kim makes a purchase that takes her out of the dark ages We play truth or dare and Kim makes Terri do a cartwheel with her pants down I would walk 5000 miles Kim’s kindle hits her in the face sometimes How to speed read Kim’s has a close up eye and a far away eye Why pirates wear patches Orgasms are blessings from God Making love vs. straight up Fng It takes Lori 13 times to finally understand why people have sex Unrelated: What did you think you’d automatically be able to do as an adult (and still can’t)?
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The Facts of Life
07/27/2026
The Facts of Life
Kim and Lori recently traveled to Peekskill, NY (where Blair, Natalie, Tootie, and Jo went to school), to see Bashar, that great oracle who’s big on the TikTok. Lori learns more about ancient civilizations, Terri recalls her days heading up the Publicity Club senior year, and Kim enjoys her asiago afterglow. Also, don’t forget to check out Lori’s new bangs. Welcome to Generation Artax. Also in this episode: Terri buys the same shirt five times on Poshmark Kim and Lori won the raffle and got to ask an alien a question Alien DNA, Homo Erectus, and why we’re not Sasquatches How not to talk to an intern Why We Hated Our 20s The worst career advice ever (and Terri wrote a book about it. Unfollow Your Passion - ever heard of it?) Kim’s 7-year pharma sales career started in a casual convo at the gym Why transferable skills are the key to life How Lori found her passion analyzing sales data Unrelated: Celebrity couples we genuinely root for
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Brats on an Island
07/20/2026
Brats on an Island
Guess what? Lori got married (again)! Get the scoop on what went down at the wedding. We have thoughts about Disclosure Day and aliens in general. Also, Mary Poppins is a witch and we never realized it. Plus: We commit cultural appropriation in the 90s, Kim misses her boyfriend, and Lori sprouts pubic hair. Welcome to Generation Artax. The scoop on Lori’s wedding and how weather didn’t just cooperate, it synced with the vows Lori’s husband Gordie is better at the ocean than you. Kim has a kink Julie Andrews still blows us away Mary Poppins is a witch Bashar is out of this world, but probably real Lori’s got questions for Bashar (and she’s about to ask them) Disclosure Day, the debrief Does alien existence negate the need for religion? Kinda sorta. They may or may not have been edited out of the Bible Do you want to see an alien ship? Yup Cultural appropriation in the 90s (and the repercussions) Poor Kim and Lori, bored in St. Martin. Kim misses reality Lori has pubic hair (“Can you not look at my bush?”) Ali brokers Kim’s relationship with Justin Terri doesn’t like cold, wet things, including the beach at night. Kim has never skinnydipped. UNRELATED: When did your life feel like a literal summer movie? Visit our website: and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.
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Flash Mob
07/13/2026
Flash Mob
If you ever asked yourself, “When DID Lori get to third base,” this episode is for you. Did she like it? Spoiler alert: No. Though we can’t be sure, because Lori admits she has committed lies of omission. Also: If you take someone’s virginity, do you get to keep it? Also: mammograms were designed by men, April Fools is traumatizing, and Terri indulges a jealous fantasy. It’s time to travel to the Land of 1000 Dances. Welcome to Generation Artax. Pomp and circumstance makes kim cry Lori’s never worn a cap and gown Lori got a mamo Bad design: sirens and mamo machines 15 yo Lori doesn’t think she’ll have sex before marriage b/c of her self developed morals Lori admits she lies in her journal, lies of omission fingering lori has no idea how to give a handjob and there was no Google Lori thinks third base is a lie and conspiracy theory the 11-minute challenge you can take the virginity you just can’t KEEP the virginity Terri indulges a jealous fantasy We are not fans of April Fools b/c it’s rude and trauma-inducing and pranks are mean Visit our website: and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.
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Pretty Fly For A White Guy
07/06/2026
Pretty Fly For A White Guy
Lori always had a prom date, but not until the day of. And that’s how we know deadlines work. Terri goes away for a weekend and loses her boyfriend overnight, what Some Kind of Wonderful got right (and wrong), and is it us or was Three’s Company kinda fucked up? Plus: How we all side with the parents in 80s movies now. Welcome to Generation Artax. Also in this episode: Shoe horns Summer I turned pretty Gay as a plot device Shows we gave up on Shows that ghosted us Kim doesn’t lose things. Ever. Thanks to Oprah. Lori performs real life CSI on herself. Terri masters her packing list Unrelated: Would You Rather Visit our website: and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.
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Varsity Jacket Blues
06/29/2026
Varsity Jacket Blues
Terri landed her first legit boyfriend senior year of high school in the fall of 1990, setting an epic drama in motion. Kim pens a Victorian letter to Lori reminding her she’s not ugly. Plus: Lori’s given up on jewelry, Terri is obsessed with making it, and Kim doesn’t want any of her jewelry to change, ever. Also, could someone please throw Terri a word of affirmation? Welcome to Generation Artax. Also in this episode: Let’s talk accessories Terri is obsessed with her new hobby Terri has a heavy gait and also jump ropes Why would you give some chick your Varsity Jacket? Terri’s new bf cheats on her while she’s away Kim has lots of friends in college and is making more every day What does the word “nimrod” even mean? It may have to do with hormones Why we feel ugly during our luteal phase UNRELATED: What’s your love language Visit our website: and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.
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Fender Bender
06/22/2026
Fender Bender
In this episode, you’ll only hear two stories about car accidents, because Kim is perfect and never makes mistakes. Lori airs her discomfort about a certain Michael Jackson video, as well as a Looney Tunes character who tried to make assault look endearing. Also: Lori believes she’s from the year 3,000 A.D., Kim has magical powers she’d like to use only occasionally, and Terri is stymied by simple home improvements. Welcome to Generation Artax. Lori doesn’t like the way a Michael Jackson video makes her feel Looney Tunes characters that are also seriously not ok The glow-up in the ZZ Top video that made Terri wish she were hot Terri gets in her first fender bender Car accidents we got into, except for Kim who never ever has Adolescent Lori believes she’s from the year 3,000 A.D. Lori Has a unique and exotic personality Kim thinks she probably has magic powers, but she only wants to heal people casually Terri wishes she could fix and hang things Kim shares a home hack involving dish soap Lori wishes she understood cars and could speak every language Lori can’t say the word “arthritis” without a Southern drawl Kim wonders what the whales have to tell us Unrelated: If you could learn something Matrix-style, what would it be? Visit our website: and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.
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F*CK Carrie Bradshaw
06/15/2026
F*CK Carrie Bradshaw
Is it watermelon season yet? And is that a tick Lori just found in her hair? Yes and yes. In this episode, Terri is on the Edge of Seventeen, Kim is lacking boyfriend bandwidth, and Lori wants to be a weather girl, but she will not say the word “Middlesex” when referring to the county. Then we all pile on the would-be heroines of 90s romcoms who can frankly fuck alllll the way off. Welcome to Generation Artax. Kim is ready for watermelon season Lori finds a tick on her person Terri sends Lori her hand me downs, and Lori has notes Kim doesn’t have enough boyfriend bandwidth Kim thinks there are so many people to date, Lori says no Lori didn’t tailgate because she didn’t understand football White baseball hats: Who wore it best? More evidence that Kim rewrites history Kim was on a break Lori wanted to be the weather girl Terri is on the Edge of Seventeen Lori borrows Kim’s shirt and doesn’t bring it back We are all coke-averse Unrelated: Movies or TV shows whose characters you used to love you now find indefensible, and vice versa Jules in My Best Friends Wedding can eat a dick and so can Carrie Bradshaw Grease 2: Why doesn’t Stephanie Zinone just date Michael as he is Visit our website: and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.
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Beggars Can't Be Choosers
06/08/2026
Beggars Can't Be Choosers
Strap in for stories from the 90s, including how Lori makes a pledge to be nice to everyone freshman year and has a kind of Buddhist epiphany. Plus: Terri’s love life is thrown into chaos by geopolitics in 1990. Question: Does being in love make you better looking? (Kinda.) In Unrelated: If you could be beamed anywhere for 10 minutes every week, where would you go? Welcome to Generation Artax. Terri feels flow again and buys sweatpants she doesn’t need Are we in control or basically literally everything out of control - we debate the nature of control Lori is now popular Fun’s a big thing now Beggars can’t be choosers Does being in love make you better looking? Kinda Transitive verbs Kim starts high school and Terri enters senior year The repercussions of world politics on teenage romance Kim is no snow bird UNRELATED: Things you’d love to never do again, also if there was one place you could beam yourself for 10 minutes once a week, what is it? Lori wants a landscape architect Terri has issues with cat litter Kim wants to ride a roller coaster every morning Lori dreams of donkey farms Visit our website: and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.
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You're Such a Snob
06/01/2026
You're Such a Snob
How did we sleep on Flashdance and Judge Judy? Not anymore. Also in this episode: Are we all doing our own pedicures now? Does Terri have ADHD? Maybe. Plus: Kim’s eighth-grade boyfriend thinks she’s a snob. In Unrelated, what job would you have if things were different? Welcome to Generation Artax. In this episode: No one has seen Flashdance, except Terri who forgot to finish it. Lori is obsessed with Judge Judy everyone’s doing their own pedicures now. it’s come to this. Terri leaves cabinets open and many open loops in conversations that bite her in the ass Plans aren’t real Who has the most unread email Clutter creates despair Terri says she can’t possibly have ADHD but maybe does Lori didn’t qualify for ADHD. Terri loses her train of thought Kim’s boyfriend accuses her of being a snob. Kim has a stress attack. Unrelated: What job would you have if things were different? Kim has a weird parallel-universe moment in a nursing home. Lori will design but she doesn’t care what your style is. Terri is obsessed with making jewelry now. Visit our website: and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.
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Don't Say Tits
05/25/2026
Don't Say Tits
How many times have YOU watched Jim Henson’s funeral? Because Kim has it on a loop. Also in this episode, Kim checks her own receipts and turns out she has been telling her own HS breakup story inaccurately. Lori nearly chokes out a girl in the hallway between periods and at one point throws a chair. Also: Games we find triggering and words we hate so much we can barely speak them aloud. Welcome to Generation Artax. Also in this episode: Why we hate riddles Trivial Pursuit can go fuck itself Forgetting people’s names Kim breaks up with her HS boyfriend and then tries to take it back Kim remembers her past wrong and worries everything’s a lie Lori wishes you could record every second of your life like in Black Mirror We are unreliable narrators Kim regrets not hiring a wedding videographer Why are we talking about referees? But we are Lori flies off the handle in the hallway Lori curses out the nicest girl in school over parking (and might have thrown a chair) Unrelated: Words you hate The dictionary has gone soft Lori hates tits Visit our website: and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.
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The Perfect Teenager
05/18/2026
The Perfect Teenager
In this episode, Lori waxes darkly poetic about how she’s no one’s type. Kim writes a letter to Terri on her 16th birthday, outlining all the ways she’s a perfect teenager—including her solid physical shape—then goes back to talking about awesome next summer will be. In Unrelated: big fish, small fish, and podcast goals. Welcome to Generation Artax. Lori is no one’s type, doesn’t want to be cool, would rather be a cynic Terri as a kid hates pizza, roller coasters, and getting messy. Terri grew up feeling like a 30 year old who wants to stay in a nice hotel Kim has become more palatable with age Kim masters the flow state Lori says butts take work Lori has a friend named Gary she mentions literally once. No idea. Kim’s birthday letter to Terri on her Sweet 16, including what makes Terri the perfect teenager Terri’s a great role model and the perfect teenager See you on your next lonely Sunday night! Unrelated: Big fish or small fish? Visit our website: and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.
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I Kissed A Girl (in 1995)
05/11/2026
I Kissed A Girl (in 1995)
We kick off this episode with burning questions about when exactly the aliens are coming. Then, flash back to 1992 when Terri writes to Kim from college about what a big player she is now. Then, cut to 1995 for a serious plot twist when Terri makes out with her best friend…and it doesn’t go well. In Unrelated: Don’t hate the player. Hate the game. Welcome to Generation Artax. Alien overlords vs. personal agency: World domination or Galactic Glow Up? Kim says there are aliens, period the end Terri wonders if the aliens will function as galactic contractors Kim thinks we’re basically about to get an intergalactic glow up Terri writes Kim from college for the first time…sophomore year—to say she’s got some a big player now (and it’s all a big game) Terri is a makeout bandit Loving the boyfriend-free zone Terri only really cries over women Terri hooks up with a girl in college Both of Terri’s direct roommates in college ended up gay Love is not a game to Kim Unrelated: Your favorite game as a kid (Boggle, Monopoly, Super Mario Brothers) Visit our website: and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.
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Mother’s Day Special: The Boomer Who Raised Us
05/04/2026
Mother’s Day Special: The Boomer Who Raised Us
For this special Mother’s Day episode, our guest is none other than…our mom! Meet Jeanne Trespicio, the woman who is responsible for, well, all of this (waves hands around vaguely). Go behind the scenes of Boomer parenting, and Jeanne’s largely laissez-faire approach to: movies, TV, play dates, real dates, and taking the train to Port Authority. Plus: Kim hates meatloaf, Terri hates Kim, and little Lori is sent to ski school with a 104 degree fever. Sounds right. Welcome to Generation Artax. Happy Mother’s Day! Also in this episode: A little background on Jeanne, and her family of origin. Our grandmother’s scandalous courtship by state trooper Johnny Barone No one has ever seen our grandmother’s wedding pictures because there are none, because she got married as an old crone at 29 Why no one thought our mother was our mother. Roving bands of neighborhood kids in the 80s Kim drank Sprite like kids today drink water, and can’t believe any of us have teeth Mom denies she made us sit at the table til we finished dinner Kim would rather die than eat meatloaf and to this day won’t try it Mom’s guiding philosophy for school: Do your job Mom to Kim: Life is a bore get used to it Growing up in a sport-free zone Dedicated phone lines = peace in the land Young Terri hates Kim so much she can barely speak Mom sends Lori off to Ski School with a 104 fever Visit our website: and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.
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Love at the Spelling Bee
04/26/2026
Love at the Spelling Bee
How do you spell heartbreak? T-E-R-R-I. In this episode, Terri comes clean about a boy she scoped out at a spelling bee, and then later woefully mistreated, which still haunts her. Also: Kim meets an emotionally wounded boy at a bonfire. In Unrelated: Children’s movies that really shouldn’t have been children’s movies. Like, the Last Unicorn, about a sexy horse and the prince who falls for her. Welcome to Generation Artax. Show notes: Terri is on a spending freeze, thinks about things she’d like to buy when she “deserves” it and Kim and Lori lecture her about mindset Kim meets a boy at the beach with the wrong attachment style who cries a lot and sends her B-side Green Day songs Terri falls in love at a regional spelling bee begins romance via post Terri leaves said boy high and dry at the high school dance, then we try to find him on LinkedIn The Last Unicorn, with its glorified beastiality, sexy horses, and trees with boobs. Dark Crystal, which had very adult themes and is giving Epstein The Electric Grandmother, which is just really super fucked up and feels very AI for 1982
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The 72-Hour Boyfriend
04/18/2026
The 72-Hour Boyfriend
Let’s be clear: Lori wants love in 1993, but she didn’t say she wants it to be easy (which is why it’s over before it’s begun). Find out why Cash Cab is a true test of character. Lori goes on the wrong booze cruise, Kim nearly has a stroke, and Terri hard launches her new relationship—which, speaking of the 90s, is with a girl she went to high school with. True story. Welcome to Generation Artax. SHOW NOTES Sometimes Kim likes the darkness Lori loves corned beef Teenage Lori wants love, but she also wants a challenge The Rules of Courtney Love, and the book The Rules Kim hates The Rules The 72-hour boyfriend Kim’s favorite thing about humans Cash Cab and why it’s Kim’s example of the best of humanity Terri’s improv journey The importance of play Terri hard launches her relationship with Kim’s BFF fr HS UNRELATED: Did you ever think you were about to die? Terri legit almost dies from sepsis Lori and the booze cruise that wasn’t at all a booze cruise Kim nearly has a stroke
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Map Quest
04/14/2026
Map Quest
We kick off this episode fresh from a colonoscopy! Then, travel back to the 90s when Terri leaves Kim old fashioned directions to the biggest party of the year, which include “turn left at the tree.” Witness the dawn of the World Wide Web, Terri’s awkward conversation with a boy she doesn’t like, and a little body horror you definitely didn’t ask for. Welcome to Generation Artax. In this episode: Terri gets a colonoscopy right before taping Hemorrhoid talk and blood draws Life before GPS - turn at the tree (remember that tree?). Kim calls AAA and they legit send her a marked-up map Terri’s internship consisted of doing an hours-long Google search Introducing…the World Wide Web Mind blown by moving images on the computer Terri has a relationship talk with a guy she’s not in a relationship with Ongoing Heather saga Listening to Led Zeppelin may ruin your life People throw rocks at Kim’s window Cigarettes smell like the 90s More Sex and the City talk Lori sleeps with the TV on UNRELATED: Procedures we loved Terri recommends endometrial ablation (and never have a period again) Kim recommends laser eye surgery (sheer magic) Lori recommends scalp pigmentation (Check out Scalp New England and tell Brian Lori sent you! ) Visit our website: and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.
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Bitches & Virgins
04/04/2026
Bitches & Virgins
Our parents go on a two-week sojourn to Europe and all hell breaks loose: Kim absolutely did not throw a house party or lose her virginity in her childhood bedroom. Lori gains the upper hand with Sean. Terri folds under pressure and takes Kim down with her. It’s all power shifts and wild betrayals on this episode of Generation Artax. In this episode: We’re dreaming of merch, but we don’t have any yet Lori wants to broaden her horizons at a high school dance Lori maintains a good cover for the bitch within Our parents go on a two week sojourn (and yes Lori used those words) Lori is ride or die for Kim, and Terri flips on a dime Nest cameras have made house parties obsolete Kim loses her virginity in her childhood bedroom Take the bus — or get thrown under it Wild betrayal at the dinner table Terri waxes poetic and also has a weird crush on Billy Squier How much do we love going to bed? Let me count the ways. Unrelated: Things we never thought we’d love: shoveling snow. Peloton. Going to bed at 7pm Also will someone please explain blue cheese Visit our website: and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.
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Welcome to MovieFone
03/29/2026
Welcome to MovieFone
It’s hard to believe that we used to call a number and then sit through a recording of every single showtime, but THIS IS WHAT OUR LIVES WERE. Also, every movie was great: Muppets Take Manhattan. Chances Are. Ghost. Need we go on. Plus: Kim tries to rebrand her seventh grade class, Lori worships Atreyu, and Terri falls in love with Peter Pan and is then confused by that. Welcome to Generation Artax. In this episode: Hot coffee just doesn’t taste as good as iced Muppets take Manhattan is the hands-down best Sixth grade wasn’t a class; it was a brand Kim’s seventh grade fallout and attempts at a rebrand, but really still just mourning sixth grade We all enjoy some schadenfreude when Kim is down and out Kim wants to French Sean. She is determined. But it doesn’t happen. “Kim T sucks” Handwriting analysis of bathroom graffiti Jen Euston was always nice to us but her classmates were bitches Culture Vultures was super elite Broadway club for budding New Yorkers Terri meets her new best friend Liz when her others dump her Undone by the periodic table Kim and Lori explain the plot of Chances Are to Terri Kim thinks she was Lori’s mother and our mom’s mother in another life Terri goes on a date with Greg and Greg’s dad to see Ghost Welcome to MovieFone Unrelated: The celebrity crush that woke you the F up Atreyu but make it 20s gangster Kim wants Prince Charming Terri falls hard for Peter Pan and realizes she’s in love with Sandy Duncan Visit our website: and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.
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Eating out
03/22/2026
Eating out
In 1993, St. Lori was on a mission to keep boys from going down the wrong path. Oral arguments ensue. Then, Terri reads one of Lori’s high school essays which is chock full of backhanded compliments about her very average and unremarkable sisters. Kim is shunned in society for enjoying life. The snacks we were raised on in the 80s. Also: Terri’s Lexapro is late again and her sad is showing. Welcome to Generation Artax. Someone took a gummy (can you guess? you guessed wrong) Bromilow’s chocolate is the best Milk vs. dark and white chocolate isn’t real chocolate Lemon is definitely citrus French onion soup smells so nasty Oak & Orchard in Bolton, MA Oral sex and all its attending monikers There’s no good word for cunnilingus Lori fails at her job of keeping boys on the straight and narrow Public reading of Lori’s high school essay about her average, untalented sisters and how she learned everyone else sucks Terri experiences an upsetting lapse in meds (again) Kim shares a koan of her own: “Life is a lock and smiling is the key.” Kim is shunned from society for being happy Unrelated: A food you could not get enough of growing up
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