Living in Color: Love, Life & Everything in Between

Living In Color: Love, Life & Everything In Between is a dynamic podcast hosted by married interracial couple—Tammy Fisher and Norman Lloyd. Both are seasoned therapists with a passion for helping others navigate life, love, and relationships through an inclusive lens. Tammy specializes in monogamous and non-monogamous relationships, sexual health, and helping individuals and couples break through barriers to intimacy. Norman, a retired Army veteran, focuses on relationships, personal growth, and the unique challenges associated with military life and transitioning to civilian life. Together, they integrate their personal and professional experiences, balancing masculine and feminine energies, navigating blended families, and exploring cultural perspectives. Their goal is to offer listeners relatable insights, practical advice, and authentic stories to help individuals and couples thrive—whether it's exploring sexual health, strengthening relationships, managing family dynamics, or finding life's purpose. Tune in for candid conversations, expert interviews, and inspiring stories that illustrate how love, life, and connection are best experienced in full color. Hosts: Tammy Fisher, MA, Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Supervisor, Certified Sex Therapist: Tammy loves taking pictures to capture the everyday beauty of life and enjoys hosting workshops about strengthening relationships, igniting the erotic, exploring kink, race attraction, and embodying the divine feminine power. Her research interests include interracial relationships, sexuality, and empowering couples and individuals. Norman Lloyd, MA, Licensed Professional Counselor, Retired Army Veteran: Norman is an avid Star Trek enthusiast and enjoys public speaking and hosting workshops on PTSD, depression, transitioning to civilian life, authentic masculinity through the lens of a person of color, and the history of race attraction. He is dedicated to exploring and supporting interracial relationships, mental health, and helping veterans adjust after military service. Tammy & Norman love traveling, hiking, sharing their enthusiasm for tea, doting on their dog, Ziggy, and connecting deeply through their shared passion for public speaking, workshops, and research. If you would like Tammy and Norman to speak at your event or host a workshop, contact them at: https://www.livingincolor.com/

Intimacy Deep Dive 03/01/2026

How to Fight Fair - And Stay Connected 02/21/2026

How to Fight Fair - And Stay Connected Conflict Isn’t the Problem: Fighting Better with Gottman’s Four Horsemen Tammy and Norman discuss why conflict is normal in healthy relationships and why the goal is not to eliminate it but to manage it well. Citing Dr. John and Julie Gottman’s research that nearly 69% of relationship conflicts are perpetual, they explain that many arguments are rooted in disconnection and feelings like being unheard, unsafe, or unimportant. They outline the Gottmans’ Four Horsemen of destructive conflict—criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt—and share antidotes including gentle startups with “I” statements, taking partial responsibility and validating without agreeing, taking 15–20 minute breaks when flooded without rehearsing arguments, and replacing contempt with gratitude, respect, and repair through apology. They distinguish perpetual problems (differences in needs, values, and personality) from solvable issues (behaviors and compromises), emphasizing curiosity, compassion, and finding workable agreements. They also share a recent example where Norman stonewalled after feeling deprioritized when asking for computer help, and how Tammy used calm repair, validation, and patience to reconnect. The episode closes with tools for healthier conflict—avoid contempt, take responsibility, accept repair attempts, and lead with curiosity—reinforcing that it’s not about fighting less, but fighting better, because healthy love is practice, not perfection. 00:00 Welcome + Why Conflict Is Normal in Healthy Relationships 00:38 The Gottman Research: 69% of Problems Are Perpetual 01:27 What Conflict Is Really About: Disconnection, Needs & Attachment 02:55 The Four Horsemen Overview (Gottman Framework) 03:09 Horseman #1: Criticism — and the Gentle Start-Up Antidote 05:31 Horseman #2: Defensiveness — Take Partial Responsibility 07:04 Horseman #3: Stonewalling — Flooding, Timeouts, and Coming Back Calm 10:27 Horseman #4: Contempt — The Respect Killer + How to Repair 13:41 Perpetual vs. Solvable Problems: Examples & How to Compromise 17:03 When the Horsemen Stick Around: Resentment, Scorekeeping, Safety Shrinks 17:49 Real-Life Example: Their Recent Stonewalling Moment (Computer Help) 23:28 Repair Skills + Recap Tools: Fight Better, Not Less 25:15 Closing Thoughts: Conflict as a Learning Cue + Subscribe 🌐 Website: 📸 Instagram: 📘 Facebook: 🎙 Living In Color on Spotify: 💋 The Pleasure Principles: /episode/index/show/65c476e2-6f95-4804-a38e-2126fc5d9ff0/id/40184730

Redefining Romance: Intentional Connection, Love Languages, and What Makes It Land 02/14/2026

Redefining Romance: Intentional Connection, Love Languages, and What Makes It Land Redefining Romance: Intentional Connection, Love Languages, and What Makes It Land Tammy and Norman, therapists and a married couple, discuss what romance means, why it is a loaded and individualized concept, and how couples often miss each other when they are speaking different “romantic languages.” They focus on American cultural influences on romance (movies, social media, Valentine’s Day, gender norms) and challenge myths about grand gestures, effortlessness, and romance fading over time. They share examples of differing romantic expectations, including Norman learning early that romance meant spending money and Tammy’s family experience of gift-giving, and they describe a time when a romantic gesture didn’t land due to emotional disconnection during a rough spot around their one-year mark. They distinguish love (commitment and care), connection (emotional presence), and romance (intentional expression of desire, affection, and priority), emphasizing that romance is a practice rather than proof of love and requires communication. They explore how romance changes after new relationship energy and how life stressors, work, kids, and trauma can affect romance; romance doesn’t need to be constant but should be intentional and consistent, like “oil” in a relationship. They outline common expressions of romance—quality time, physical touch, sexual energy without comparison or a universal “normal,” acts of service (e.g., making breakfast), emotional safety and vulnerability, playfulness (including board games), and consistency. They briefly address neurodivergence and trauma triggers (e.g., hugging from behind) as reasons romantic gestures may be misread, recommending curiosity and conversation rather than taking it personally. They offer three partner questions: what makes you feel desired, what kills romance for you, and what the other person does that makes you feel special, and close by encouraging listeners to define romance for themselves as intentional and attuned rather than expensive or dramatic. 00:51 Why Romance Feels So Loaded (and Not Universal) 01:20 Where Our Romance Scripts Come From: Movies, Social Media & Valentine’s Day 02:13 Myths & Mismatched “Romantic Languages” (Plus the Carved Spoon Story) 03:42 What Romance Means to Us: Family Influence & Early Lessons 06:41 Gender Expectations: Gifts, Thoughtfulness… and Lingerie? 09:28 When Romance Falls Flat: Timing, Disconnection & Different Headspaces 13:39 Love vs Connection vs Romance (and Why Communication Is the Fix) 17:15 Practical Example: Asking for What You Want (Touch & Guidance) 18:08 How Romance Changes Over Time: New Relationship Energy (NRE) 18:27 Why Romance Fades in Long-Term Relationships (Stress, Kids, Work) 20:02 Romance = Intention: Scheduling “Sacred Time” & Recreating Early Effort 22:24 Is Your Relationship Worth the Effort? The New-Relationship-Energy Trap 23:33 When Romance Is Absent: Disconnection, Resentment & the Vicious Cycle 24:17 Romance Isn’t Constant: The “Oil in the Engine” Metaphor 25:38 The Nitty-Gritty: What Romance Looks Like (Quality Time, Touch, Gifts) 26:37 Sexual Energy Over Time: Find Your Normal (No Comparing) 28:47 Acts of Service & Emotional Safety: Vulnerability Needs Trust 30:26 Playfulness & Consistency: Keeping Romance from Feeling Performative 33:11 Neurodivergence & Trauma: When “Romantic” Gestures Land Wrong 35:47 3 Questions to Ask Your Partner + Closing Reflections on Redefining Romance /episode/index/show/65c476e2-6f95-4804-a38e-2126fc5d9ff0/id/40110245

Can Love Survive The Differences? 02/11/2026

Introduction 02/10/2026

Living in Color: Love, Life & Everything in Between

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