Intimacy Deep Dive
Living in Color: Love, Life & Everything in Between
Intimacy Is More Than Sex: Six Types That Strengthen Connection Tammy and Norman, therapists and hosts of Living in Color, discuss intimacy as more than sex and outline six types that couples can strengthen to avoid disconnection. They explain mental intimacy as respecting each other’s thinking through shared goals, curiosity, and “dreaming out loud,” and emotional intimacy as honest vulnerability, naming fears, and repairing after conflict in a safe, empathetic environment. They describe physical intimacy as non-sexual touch and proximity (e.g., lower-back touch, sitting close, hugs,...
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How to Fight Fair - And Stay Connected
Living in Color: Love, Life & Everything in Between
Conflict Isn’t the Problem: Fighting Better with Gottman’s Four Horsemen Tammy and Norman discuss why conflict is normal in healthy relationships and why the goal is not to eliminate it but to manage it well. Citing Dr. John and Julie Gottman’s research that nearly 69% of relationship conflicts are perpetual, they explain that many arguments are rooted in disconnection and feelings like being unheard, unsafe, or unimportant. They outline the Gottmans’ Four Horsemen of destructive conflict—criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt—and share antidotes including gentle...
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Redefining Romance: Intentional Connection, Love Languages, and What Makes It Land
Living in Color: Love, Life & Everything in Between
Redefining Romance: Intentional Connection, Love Languages, and What Makes It Land Tammy and Norman, therapists and a married couple, discuss what romance means, why it is a loaded and individualized concept, and how couples often miss each other when they are speaking different “romantic languages.” They focus on American cultural influences on romance (movies, social media, Valentine’s Day, gender norms) and challenge myths about grand gestures, effortlessness, and romance fading over time. They share examples of differing romantic expectations, including Norman learning early...
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Can Love Survive The Differences?
Living in Color: Love, Life & Everything in Between
Navigating Relationship Challenges: Love, Difference, and Attachment Styles In this episode of 'Living in Color,' hosts Tammy and Norman discuss the complexities of relationships, focusing on how love can survive differences. They share personal anecdotes from their early relationship, detailing how they met on Bumble and their initial 'honeymoon phase.' The discussion delves into the challenges they faced, including differing expectations, the impact of becoming a blended family, and evolving their relationship dynamics. They explore attachment styles, specifically anxious and...
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Introduction
Living in Color: Love, Life & Everything in Between
Welcome to Living in Color Before we dive into love, attachment, conflict, intimacy, and everything in between—we wanted to start here. In this introduction episode of Living in Color: Love, Life & Everything in Between, we share who we are, why we created this podcast, and what you can expect from the conversations ahead. We’re Tammy Fisher and Norman Lloyd—married therapists, an interracial couple, parents, and lifelong students of relationships. Between us, we bring experience in couples therapy, sexual health, military life, trauma, blended families, and the very real work of...
info_outlineIntimacy Is More Than Sex: Six Types That Strengthen Connection
Tammy and Norman, therapists and hosts of Living in Color, discuss intimacy as more than sex and outline six types that couples can strengthen to avoid disconnection. They explain mental intimacy as respecting each other’s thinking through shared goals, curiosity, and “dreaming out loud,” and emotional intimacy as honest vulnerability, naming fears, and repairing after conflict in a safe, empathetic environment. They describe physical intimacy as non-sexual touch and proximity (e.g., lower-back touch, sitting close, hugs, holding hands) with no agenda to prevent pressure around sex. They define sexual intimacy as erotic connection supported by communication, presence, and moving beyond performance toward pleasure and connection. They add spiritual intimacy as shared meaning, values, rituals like meditating together, and relationship evaluations, and experiential intimacy as doing life together through travel, parenting, projects, and shared adversity, noting the need for intentional balance across all forms.