Spice Of Wife
A podcast dedicated to helping working women stop agonizing over what to do in their marriage make decisions so they can feel clarity, certainty, and connection as the wife. Each week you will gain more insight on not only what you want in your marriage(and how to get it), but what kind of wife you want to be. You will learn how to let go of resentment and instead learn to love your man fiercely or love yourself enough to leave. All the while crying, laughing and connecting through the real raw messy parts of life because well, this is the spice of wife.
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Episode 12- Useful Fighting: Turning Conflict into Connection
06/15/2025
Episode 12- Useful Fighting: Turning Conflict into Connection
In this episode of The Spice of Wife Podcast, we dive into the truth about fighting in marriage — not all conflict is bad, but how we fight matters. I share a real, raw story of a couple on the brink and breaks down what made their fights destructive vs. what ultimately helped them reconnect. Learn why avoiding fights can be more dangerous than having them, how to tell when you're in a "high emotion, low logic" state, and what it means to fight fair with love, regulation, and self-awareness. You’ll Walk Away With: How to recognize useful vs. unhelpful fighting The 4 Spice of Wife types and how they show up in conflict The role of dysregulation in recurring arguments How to identify what's really driving your fights (it’s not about the dishes) Simple tools to self-regulate before engaging in conflict A new perspective on fighting as a path to connection, not division If you are wanting to spice things up in your own marriage, take my free Spice Of Wife Quiz: You will learn how to let go of resentment and instead learn to love your man fiercely or love yourself enough to leave. All the while crying, laughing and connecting through the real raw messy parts of life because well, this is the spice of wife.
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Episode 11- Go Dark to Grow Light: How to Heal the Hard Parts of Your Marriage
06/08/2025
Episode 11- Go Dark to Grow Light: How to Heal the Hard Parts of Your Marriage
In today’s episode, we explore one of the most powerful — and uncomfortable — truths in marriage: What we avoid doesn’t go away. It grows. Whether it’s mismatched sex drives, money conflicts, broken trust, or parenting tension, there’s often a part of your marriage you’ve quietly decided to tiptoe around. It seems safer. Less disruptive. But over time, that “unspoken space” starts to take up more emotional real estate — leaving you tired, resentful, and disconnected. Join me as I share: A personal story about public speaking and “dark corners” in the crowd What bees and their wildflower dance can teach us about communication The real reason you're exhausted (hint: it's not just your to-do list) A 3-step framework to help you Feel, Face, and Flourish How to shift from suffering to growth — even if the conversation is hard You'll walk away with a deeper belief that: Avoidance is not peace — it’s quiet suffering Facing what scares you creates more connection Emotional energy is worth spending… when it leads to freedom This is your invitation to stop managing your marriage and start flourishing in it — by going into the dark places that need light. If you are wanting to spice things up in your own marriage, take my free Spice Of Wife Quiz: You will learn how to let go of resentment and instead learn to love your man fiercely or love yourself enough to leave. All the while crying, laughing and connecting through the real raw messy parts of life because well, this is the spice of wife.
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Episode 10-The Poison of Comparison: Why It’s Stealing the Joy from Your Marriage
06/01/2025
Episode 10-The Poison of Comparison: Why It’s Stealing the Joy from Your Marriage
This week, we’re getting brutally honest about something that quietly erodes connection, intimacy, and self-worth: comparison. Whether you’re sizing up your husband, your marriage, or your entire life next to someone else’s, comparison never leads where you think it will. It doesn’t make you happier, more grateful, or more connected. It makes you doubt yourself, push harder, or pull away. In this powerful and personal episode, you’ll hear: How comparison shows up in marriage (and motherhood) in sneaky ways Why your brain turns to comparison as a survival strategy The two traps of comparison: wanting and lacking Why comparison is a waste of your emotional energy Five practical ways to shift from comparison into connection A powerful reframe that will change how you see your worth forever And how to fall back in love with your weird, wonderful, one-of-a-kind marriage Let this be your permission slip to stop measuring, stop proving, and start loving what is. If you are wanting to spice things up in your own marriage, take my free Spice Of Wife Quiz: You will learn how to let go of resentment and instead learn to love your man fiercely or love yourself enough to leave. All the while crying, laughing and connecting through the real raw messy parts of life because well, this is the spice of wife.
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Episode 9-Letting Go of Control: How Trust Creates Real Safety in Marriage
05/25/2025
Episode 9-Letting Go of Control: How Trust Creates Real Safety in Marriage
In this powerful episode, we dive deep into a truth many high-achieving, take-charge women face in their marriages: control feels safe—until it doesn’t. If you've ever found yourself doing it all, feeling overwhelmed, and silently resenting your partner for not “stepping up,” this one’s for you. Through a heartfelt client story and raw personal reflection, we explore how control becomes a coping mechanism rooted in fear, not freedom—and how it's often the very thing blocking the intimacy, connection, and partnership we crave. You’ll learn how to: Recognize when control is hurting your relationship Understand the real reason you're stuck in "doing it all" Shift from resentment to vulnerability Build trust in yourself, your partner, and the present moment If you're ready to move from gatekeeping to grounding, from stress to surrender—this episode will speak to your heart. If you are wanting to spice things up in your own marriage, take my free Spice Of Wife Quiz: You will learn how to let go of resentment and instead learn to love your man fiercely or love yourself enough to leave. All the while crying, laughing and connecting through the real raw messy parts of life because well, this is the spice of wife.
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Episode 8- Questioning Marriage: A Path to Deeper Connection
05/18/2025
Episode 8- Questioning Marriage: A Path to Deeper Connection
In this episode, we’re diving deep into the importance of asking the tough questions in your marriage. It’s not about doubting your relationship but about growing through it. Questioning your marriage can unlock new depths of connection and self-discovery. Here’s what you can expect from today’s conversation: The Power of Asking Hard Questions: Why it’s essential to explore the big, uncomfortable questions like, “Is this marriage still aligned with who I am?” and “What do I truly want out of this relationship?” How Stagnation Leads to Decline: The risks of staying stuck in a relationship that isn’t evolving and how growth only happens when you’re willing to question, explore, and change. The Connection to Fowler’s Stages of Faith: A fascinating parallel between Fowler’s stages of faith and how they mirror the stages of growth in marriage, especially the shift from Synthetic Conventional Faith (following external norms) to Individuative Reflective Faith (taking personal ownership of your beliefs). Personal Growth Through Marriage: How questioning your relationship can help you grow as a wife, as a woman, and as a human being, and why it’s crucial for both partners to evolve together. Practical Ways to Start the Journey: Tips and insights for beginning the uncomfortable but powerful journey of self-reflection and mutual growth in your marriage. Whether you’re feeling stuck or simply curious about how to take your marriage to the next level, this episode will help you give yourself permission to question, explore, and evolve. Tune in and let’s get real about growth, discomfort, and the power of change in your relationship. If you are wanting to spice things up in your own marriage, take my free Spice Of Wife Quiz: You will learn how to let go of resentment and instead learn to love your man fiercely or love yourself enough to leave. All the while crying, laughing and connecting through the real raw messy parts of life because well, this is the spice of wife. Fowlers book :
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Episode 7- From Codependency to Co-Regulation: A New Way to Wife
05/11/2025
Episode 7- From Codependency to Co-Regulation: A New Way to Wife
In this powerful episode, we’re unpacking the emotional dance between codependency and co-regulation—and how understanding the difference can completely transform your marriage, parenting, and personal peace. Whether you're constantly absorbing the moods of your spouse, reacting to your child’s meltdowns, or losing yourself trying to manage everyone else's emotions… this episode will help you reclaim your energy and emotional independence. You’ll learn how to hold space for the people you love—without losing yourself in the process. 🎧 In this episode, you'll discover: The difference between codependency and co-regulation—and why it matters in marriage and parenting Why trying to “fix” or “mirror” your spouse’s emotions leaves you feeling drained and disconnected How to become the calm tuning fork in your relationships—and let others attune to your grounded energy What it looks like to hold emotional space for others without absorbing their feelings The two directions codependency takes: empathy or control—and why both are exhausting My go-to “If/Then” boundary framework to protect your peace and stay regulated Real-life examples to help you identify these patterns in your own home (yes, even with kids!) How to shift from reactive patterns into an intentional, empowered way of showing up Whether you’re feeling distant from your spouse or just craving deeper connection, this episode will leave you inspired to see your relationship through a whole new lens — one filled with color, compassion, and connection. If you are wanting to spice things up in your own marriage, take my free Spice Of Wife Quiz: You will learn how to let go of resentment and instead learn to love your man fiercely or love yourself enough to leave. All the while crying, laughing and connecting through the real raw messy parts of life because well, this is the spice of wife.
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Episode 6- Marriage Ecosystem: Cultivating a Thriving Partnership
05/04/2025
Episode 6- Marriage Ecosystem: Cultivating a Thriving Partnership
Do you ever feel like your marriage is two people trying to share a canoe with no paddles in opposite directions? Yeah, same. Today I'm sharing one shift in perspective that completely changed the way I show up in my marriage. And honestly, it's not what you think. It's simple, it's powerful, and no, it doesn't involve better communication skills or planning more date nights. Although plus those two, if you've ever wondered, is it supposed to feel this hard, or why does it seem like we're working against each other instead of together? This episode is for you. Get ready for a fresh take that might change everything. In this episode you Brooke dives into: 🌼 Marriage as a Garden: Why seeing your relationship as a shared, living entity can change everything. 🌿 The Gardener Analogy: You and your partner are co-gardeners — tending to your shared space with intention and care. 🛠️ Traditional vs Entity Mindset: Move from “his way vs. my way” to “what’s best for the marriage?” 🍅 Fruitful Conflict: How disagreements and “decay” in the relationship can feed new growth. 💧 Daily Check-ins: Ask, “Is this strengthening or straining our garden?” 💡 Shared Vision: Define what you truly want your marriage to look and feel like — together. 🤝 Responsibility Without Scorekeeping: Embrace natural collaboration without resentment. 🌞 Self-Care = Garden Care: Healthy gardeners make for a thriving garden — take care of yourself, too. Whether you’re feeling distant from your spouse or just craving deeper connection, this episode will leave you inspired to see your relationship through a whole new lens — one filled with color, compassion, and connection. If you are wanting to spice things up in your own marriage, take my free Spice Of Wife Quiz: You will learn how to let go of resentment and instead learn to love your man fiercely or love yourself enough to leave. All the while crying, laughing and connecting through the real raw messy parts of life because well, this is the spice of wife. Check out Crystal Haitsma info below: https://www.coachcrystal.ca/
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Episode 5-Loving the Opposite: How Differences in Marriage Can Deepen Connection
04/27/2025
Episode 5-Loving the Opposite: How Differences in Marriage Can Deepen Connection
Episode 5- Loving the Opposite: How Differences in Marriage Can Deepen Connection What do you do when your partner is your complete opposite — politically, spiritually, emotionally, or practically? In this powerful episode we explore the beauty and challenge of being married to someone who sees the world through an entirely different lens. Tune in to learn how these differences, instead of dividing us, can actually become a sacred opportunity for growth, compassion, and deeper love. In this episode, Brooke dives into: How opposites in marriage can trigger discomfort — and what to do about it The shift from judgment to curiosity: learning to love your partner’s mind Why unconditional love is a skill — and how to practice it daily The impact of embracing differences on your personal growth and family dynamic Real-life stories, raw moments, and the truth about building inner belonging How this mindset can ripple out and truly change the world Whether you’re feeling distant from your spouse or just craving deeper connection, this episode will leave you inspired to see your relationship through a whole new lens — one filled with color, compassion, and connection. If you are wanting to spice things up in your own marriage, take my free Spice Of Wife Quiz: You will learn how to let go of resentment and instead learn to love your man fiercely or love yourself enough to leave. All the while crying, laughing and connecting through the real raw messy parts of life because well, this is the spice of wife.
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Episode 4- Reclaiming Your Power in Marriage: Why Trying to Fix Your Husband Isn't the Fix
04/21/2025
Episode 4- Reclaiming Your Power in Marriage: Why Trying to Fix Your Husband Isn't the Fix
Episode 4- Reclaiming Your Power in Marriage: Why Trying to Fix Your Husband Isn't the Fix In this episode I’m telling the story of a girlfriend whose marriage went from resentment and disconnect to passion and partnership—and what really changed everything. (Hint: it wasn’t her husband.) We’re talking about what it means to stop waiting for your partner to change and instead, reclaim your power, your voice, and your vision for love. In this episode, I dive into: The common pattern of resentment and control in marriage—and why it pushes us farther from connection The shift from “he needs to change” to “what kind of wife do I want to be?” How to stop micromanaging and start feeling empowered in your relationship The secret to experiencing deep intimacy without waiting for him to act first What it really means to call your power back and show up as your full, vibrant self Why building your own self-concept is the key to everything you want in your marriage Whether you're feeling stuck, craving more connection, or just want to feel alive again in your marriage—this episode is for you. If you are wanting to spice things up in your own marriage, take my free Spice Of Wife Quiz: You will learn how to let go of resentment and instead learn to love your man fiercely or love yourself enough to leave. All the while crying, laughing and connecting through the real raw messy parts of life because well, this is the spice of wife.
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Episode 3- You Already Know: Becoming The Expert in Your Own Marriage
04/18/2025
Episode 3- You Already Know: Becoming The Expert in Your Own Marriage
Welcome to Episode 3: You Already Know: Becoming The Expert in Your Own Marriage In this episode, host Brooke Sann explores the concept of trusting one's inner voice and becoming the expert in one's own marriage. The podcast discusses how societal and familial dynamics often lead us to seek validation and expertise from others, but argues that the best advice may already lie within us. You will learn about : Personal stories and client experiences to illustrate the importance of self-trust and inner wisdom. Practical steps to connect with one's inner compass are provided, including journaling and self-reflection. emphasizing the need to communicate openly with partners and make decisions that align with personal truths rather than external validation If you are wanting to spice things up in your own marriage, take my free Spice Of Wife Quiz: You will learn how to let go of resentment and instead learn to love your man fiercely or love yourself enough to leave. All the while crying, laughing and connecting through the real raw messy parts of life because well, this is the spice of wife. 00:00 Introduction: Trusting Your Inner Wisdom 01:02 Welcome to the Spice of Wife Podcast 02:19 The Quest for External Validation 04:17 Breaking Free from the Parent-Child Dynamic 06:55 Becoming Your Own Expert 07:55 Real-Life Stories of Self-Trust 10:50 Practical Steps to Trust Yourself 12:21 Personal Reflections and Examples 14:29 Communicating Your Needs in Marriage 19:00 Conclusion: Embracing Your Inner Wisdom
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Episode 2- CEO of Us: Running Your Marriage Like a Business
04/16/2025
Episode 2- CEO of Us: Running Your Marriage Like a Business
Welcome to Episode 2: CEO of Us: Running Your Marriage Like a Business In this episode I discuss how treating your marriage as a business can lead to a healthier, more balanced partnership. I outline the importance of regular check-ins, shared goals, and defined roles to avoid the pitfalls of feeling overwhelmed and frustrated by one partner taking all the responsibilities. You will learn about: Let us emphasize the significance of co-regulation, communication, collaboration, and transparent decision-making between spouses. Throughout the episode you will see parallels between successful business practices and marital harmony, offering practical advice on how to distribute responsibilities and maintain financial and emotional health. You will also hear my personal experiences and reflections on evolving from a sole proprietor to a genuine partner in my marriage. If you are wanting to spice things up in your own marriage, take my free Spice Of Wife Quiz: You will learn how to let go of resentment and instead learn to love your man fiercely or love yourself enough to leave. All the while crying, laughing and connecting through the real raw messy parts of life because well, this is the spice of wife. 00:00 Introduction: Running Your Marriage Like a Business 00:53 Meet Your Host: Brooke Sann 02:15 The Sole Proprietor Syndrome 05:55 Transitioning to a Partnership Marriage 09:43 Habits of a Healthy Partnership 14:49 Financial Meetings and Shared Responsibilities 18:41 Recap and Final Thoughts 19:50 Conclusion and Next Steps
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Episode 1- Marriage Wants: Creating Emotional Safety When You Have Different Triggers
04/10/2025
Episode 1- Marriage Wants: Creating Emotional Safety When You Have Different Triggers
Welcome to Episode 1. Creating Emotional Safety When You Have Different Triggers In this episode of the Spice of Wife Podcast, I discuss the concept of different 'thermostats' in relationships, referring to individual comfort levels in various areas such as finances, household management, and personal habits. You will learn about: How understanding these differences can help couples navigate their relationships better by focusing on their common desire to feel safe and loved. The three types of boundaries—no boundary, isolation boundary, and ideal boundary—to help partners maintain their comfort levels while respecting each other's needs. The importance of becoming self-aware and communicating openly with one's partner about what makes each person feel secure. How to recognize your own triggers and set healthy boundaries to foster a more harmonious marriage. If you are wanting to spice things up in your own marriage, take my free Spice Of Wife Quiz: You will learn how to let go of resentment and instead learn to love your man fiercely or love yourself enough to leave. All the while crying, laughing and connecting through the real raw messy parts of life because well, this is the spice of wife.
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Episode 0- Welcome to the Spice Of Wife Podcast
04/10/2025
Episode 0- Welcome to the Spice Of Wife Podcast
Welcome to episode one. This is a quick listen to just get things started. If you are wondering what this podcast is all about, who it is geared for and what you can expect you'll want to start here. In Episode 0, I'm sharing : Who this podcast is for What you will gain and takeaway each week Who will join us throughout the season What to expect If you are wanting to spice things up in your own marriage, take my free Spice Of Wife Quiz: You will learn how to let go of resentment and instead learn to love your man fiercely or love yourself enough to leave. All the while crying, laughing and connecting through the real raw messy parts of life because well, this is the spice of wife.
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