Shitpost Mortem

A podcast where we overthink stupid ideas. Hosted by Amy and Beth

Speeding Cars Exploder / Girl Diet / Centipede Centipede 04/11/2026

Speeding Cars Exploder / Girl Diet / Centipede Centipede We discuss stupid ideas such as: adventure game where like 1/3 of the run time is the main character figuring out how to crossdress by combining objects in their inventory Centipede Centipede Dyson Airblade for the whole body girl diet (only pink food) Car that explodes if you go over the speed limit Personality system that has one trait for each letter of the alphabet /episode/index/show/b191239c-0cf8-46a2-9e70-bb69b8c87a02/id/40814325

Spongebob Toxic Yaoi / Spusband / Forever Weed 04/05/2026

Spongebob Toxic Yaoi / Spusband / Forever Weed We discuss stupid ideas such as: Idea: putting a prop 65 warning on our podcast rpg with an Unemployment attribute/stat spusband (like how husband came from “house-bond”) Parking machine gambling Bed that's a square (so you can't put the fitted sheet on wrong) forever weed (thc crispr) may my enemies feel like they need to sneeze but then they just can't quite actually sneeze Website where you can bet on which video essayists will come out as trans /episode/index/show/b191239c-0cf8-46a2-9e70-bb69b8c87a02/id/40733850

Foot Fetish Baristas / Mental Illness Fighting Game / Smoothie Straw 03/28/2026

Foot Fetish Baristas / Mental Illness Fighting Game / Smoothie Straw In this episode, we discuss stupid ideas such as: Fighting game where every character has a different mental illness Foot fetish coffee place gacha captcha (pull an S rank waifu to continue) “muling” to mean half-assing idea: larping but to cast spells you have to do improv bits stair lift for gamer seniors straw with spinning blade inside so anything can be soup/smoothie /episode/index/show/b191239c-0cf8-46a2-9e70-bb69b8c87a02/id/40654165

Waffle with One Square / Refractory Period Clock / Head-Mounted Gun 03/21/2026

Waffle with One Square / Refractory Period Clock / Head-Mounted Gun We discuss stupid ideas such as: continuous vertical scroll webcomic that starts looping Razer razor (for gamers) waffle that just has a single, huge square sensory deprivation tank sex competitive game with water guns filled with ethanol. everyone has to keep their mouths open the whole time. you try to get opponents drunk Using a guy with a really consistent refractory period as a clock head-mounted gun (xkcd head canon) electrified kensington lock /episode/index/show/b191239c-0cf8-46a2-9e70-bb69b8c87a02/id/40568150

A totally normal episode of Shitpost Mortem 03/14/2026

A totally normal episode of Shitpost Mortem Feeling kinda irrational today /episode/index/show/b191239c-0cf8-46a2-9e70-bb69b8c87a02/id/40475355

Scrotum Scanner / CBT CBT / Halfabet 03/07/2026

Scrotum Scanner / CBT CBT / Halfabet We discuss stupid ideas such as: skadis-mounted dildo ordering paint using hex codes ball wrinkle thumbprint scanner AI image classifier for guessing pronouns halfabet (only 13 letters) CBT CBT coming up with a new catchphrase for Amy on a weekly basis (don't even worry about it. oh brother. sounds about right. Amy Wamy Amy Wamy. there’s somethin’ to it. she’s got the sauce. thats wamy wild) pinball machine you have to pay for with pennies gaslighting people with British units you made up (14 oz in a William) /episode/index/show/b191239c-0cf8-46a2-9e70-bb69b8c87a02/id/40353685

Ninja Sex Clones / Lockpicking Captcha / Stew PID 02/28/2026

Ninja Sex Clones / Lockpicking Captcha / Stew PID We discuss stupid ideas such as: Lowercase & lockpicking minigame captcha 2FA that makes u touch grass hot ninja girl making fake clones of herself during sex, and you have to figure out which one to fuck Sci-fi idea: machine that can "create" art but it turns out it's actually plagiarizing it from parallel universes Spaghetti that kills u inventing new colors of wine stew PID /episode/index/show/b191239c-0cf8-46a2-9e70-bb69b8c87a02/id/40266000

Shampoo with a flared base / Cummingbirds / Opposite Screws 02/21/2026

Shampoo with a flared base / Cummingbirds / Opposite Screws We discuss stupid ideas such as: Frottage cheese Chair that's also a clothing rack Prank: mixing in opposite chirality screws at the hardware store Binary ruler (it has one inch, two inches, four inches, eight inches, etc. marked) Shampoo bottles with flared bases Cummingbird (penis pollinator) Putting tiny trackers along the street sweeping route and tracking them getting swept Bad idea: image format that can only do circular images Shitpost Mortem is a podcast where we discuss ideas that are so stupid, they're funny. We keep it pretty light and comedic, but sometimes we get sidetracked into talking about some nerd shit. /episode/index/show/b191239c-0cf8-46a2-9e70-bb69b8c87a02/id/40186540

Strap-on Nose / Six Eight / Shitpisser 02/15/2026

Strap-on Nose / Six Eight / Shitpisser We discuss stupid ideas such as: cheap DIY red light therapy device (3d printed mask with holes to stick cat lasers into) making up a language that looks like it uses English spelling but is actually phonetic (like, <cough> is /koʊɣ/, <kite> is /kite/, <mighty> is /mɪɣty/ https://ipa-reader.com/?text=i%3A%20ko%CA%8Aldnt%20th%C9%AA%C5%8Bk%20of%20an%20%C9%9Bksample%3A strap-on nose (for the bedroom) language where every vowel has a gender (Maria vs Mario vs Marie vs… Mariu?) Microwave that only has an add 30 second button trying to make “six eight” a thing Cum EULA (from Lily) toilet that uses piss to flush shit /episode/index/show/b191239c-0cf8-46a2-9e70-bb69b8c87a02/id/40110265

Flavored Money / Heckin-chonkeres / Trash Can Black Hole 01/31/2026

Flavored Money / Heckin-chonkeres / Trash Can Black Hole This episode has a third host! It's Ash! We discuss stupid ideas such as: Nixie tube faces Flavored money Font that looks like it would be something upside-down (but it's not) Marketing sleep paralysis demon Ancient Greek millennial mythology about the Heckin-chonkeres JOI rhythm game Compacting trash until it forms a black hole Website that requires your password to be a valid email We slander people such as: Chicago Pope Anish Kapoor Dan Brown Links: Tgirl Dracula Flow: Ash's AO3: Ash's Bluesky: /episode/index/show/b191239c-0cf8-46a2-9e70-bb69b8c87a02/id/39947615

Cum Prediction Market / Garbaceous / Kinky Puppygirls Come Over for Gay Sex 01/24/2026

Cum Prediction Market / Garbaceous / Kinky Puppygirls Come Over for Gay Sex We discuss stupid ideas such as: Interactive podcast (choose your own adventure) Prediction market for who will cum first Beth’s biological taxonomy mnemonic New word: garbaceous Voice training to do a Joker voice Btw they're putting homo-goblins in ur blood to turn u gay Robotgirl with a hex butthole We trick you into learning about: Late night show hosts Gnosticism Security torx /episode/index/show/b191239c-0cf8-46a2-9e70-bb69b8c87a02/id/39863620

Mutually Exclusive Chastity / Single-Use Car / Penis Doppelganger 01/17/2026

Mutually Exclusive Chastity / Single-Use Car / Penis Doppelganger In this episode, we discuss stupid ideas such as: Aliens who found a piano reconstructing humans with three feet and 88 fingers Choosing hardware/software based on the silliest names (ploopy, floorp) Service that mails u a one cm cube of any element Paired mutex lock chastity cages Single-use cars Install grindr + receive dick pic speedrun (Amy’s pb ~1 min) I'm poster syndrome New word: Eurodivergent /episode/index/show/b191239c-0cf8-46a2-9e70-bb69b8c87a02/id/39769375

Stereonucleosis / Nitrile Fetish / Battery that gets soft when it's low on charge 01/10/2026

Stereonucleosis / Nitrile Fetish / Battery that gets soft when it's low on charge We discuss stupid ideas such as : Ceiling roomba / Roomba that can climb stairs update / T-shirt warehouse of babel / Service that helps you match clothing to your exact skin color / Stereonucleosis / Penis POV porn / Person with a nitrile fetish / (from lily) region-locked vinyl / Battery that gets soft when it's low on charge / MIDI sex toys Links: (she did our new theme music!) Canvas of Babel: Doom with a Theremin: Saving data to a starling: Oral allergy syndrome: /episode/index/show/b191239c-0cf8-46a2-9e70-bb69b8c87a02/id/39684470

Overly Specific T-Shirts / Oily Boid / Marshmallow Drone 12/27/2025

Overly Specific T-Shirts / Oily Boid / Marshmallow Drone We discuss stupid ideas such as: Extreme podcast panning / You know how people get ads for overly specific t-shirts? What about advertising t-shirts that have the viewer's full name and address / Sapiosexual who gets turned on when people use big words / Bringing back the er/oi merger / Drone that shoots food into your mouth / Rpg character sheet with a mandatory Kinsey scale fiel /episode/index/show/b191239c-0cf8-46a2-9e70-bb69b8c87a02/id/39543275

Vore Art Heist / Fifth Base / Horse Potion 12/20/2025

Vore Art Heist / Fifth Base / Horse Potion Vore art heist / FOLLOWUP: the vowel /ɶ/ doesn\'t seem to be in English [(near-)open front rounded vowel] / Flies engineered to instinctively fly into mouths (frog type idea) / Quiz: is this a real evil company logo or a fictional one (example: cubic) / Adding a secret fifth base to baseball / bruxisma music / Beverage/potion made entirely of horse supplements/medication / Discourage phone overuse with a small chance of it exploding every time it’s unlocked / Saying "god moaning" to greet people and see if they notice / Cum train /episode/index/show/b191239c-0cf8-46a2-9e70-bb69b8c87a02/id/39483130

Vampire Sperm Count / Computer Boobs / Limpotent 12/13/2025

Vampire Sperm Count / Computer Boobs / Limpotent We discuss stupid ideas such as: Automated machine for kicking ass/chewing bubble gum / Vampire doing a sperm count / What if a computer had boobs / Beth’s brand new word, “limponent” / TI: a keyboard that only has ctrl, c, x, and v (from Zack W.) / Plushie with a knife / Omegaverse hormones / Jondom / Playing the San Jose Strut whenever you cum / Making up a new vowel UPDATE: tiny steam engine that charges your phone is real! see youtuber blondihacks. thanks to listener pastry for telling us /episode/index/show/b191239c-0cf8-46a2-9e70-bb69b8c87a02/id/39397185

Autofellatio Bot / Gummy Roulette / Cum Fighting Game 12/06/2025

Autofellatio Bot / Gummy Roulette / Cum Fighting Game We discuss stupid ideas such as: Listening to every comedy podcast ever to avoid doing the same jokes / Robot that sucks its own dick / Gummy roulette (weed, melatonin, caffeine) / Cum fighting game / Phone you can recharge by shoveling coal into a tiny integrated steam engine /episode/index/show/b191239c-0cf8-46a2-9e70-bb69b8c87a02/id/39308910

Sodium Boat / Tech Company Gooner Wrap / Slur Alarm Clock 11/29/2025

Sodium Boat / Tech Company Gooner Wrap / Slur Alarm Clock We discuss stupid ideas such as: Boat made of elemental sodium / Combined tech company wrap and ahegao gooner wrap / Translating songs to use metric units / Alarm clock that calls you slurs / Alarm clock that injects you with caffeine / Long gaslighting where you subtly fake a Canadian accent / Carbonated cum / Podcast where you have to guess which host is high / Robot leg that kicks you out of bed / Toilet with a steadily hotter seat to discourage sitting for too long / Capsule full of random color dye, for a surprise when pooping later /episode/index/show/b191239c-0cf8-46a2-9e70-bb69b8c87a02/id/39206250

Fully Nude Podcasting / Lego Buttplug / Cookie Monster Blowjob 11/22/2025

Fully Nude Podcasting / Lego Buttplug / Cookie Monster Blowjob We discuss ideas such as: fully nude podcasting / keeping a bunch of vinegaroons in order to make salad dressing without ever having to buy vinegar / bdsm club with a dedicated room full of lockers big enough to shove an adult into / lego buttplug / Cookie Monster blowjob / Vertical baths for tall people / Pronouncing headache like hey-a-da-chay / roomba that can climb stairs / robot that puts sunglasses on you when it detects sunlight Music from the first ad: Airport Lounge by Kevin MacLeod | https://incompetech.com/ Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/ Creative Commons CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ /episode/index/show/b191239c-0cf8-46a2-9e70-bb69b8c87a02/id/39135640

Gummi Earplugs / Daft Hunk / Robot Earrings 11/16/2025

Gummi Earplugs / Daft Hunk / Robot Earrings We discuss ideas such as: gummi earplugs that you can eat after using / literally getting fucked by the stock market / Daft Hunk / Pre-sped-up podcast / 6-sided die that you roll and it says which of the three macronutrients you're not allowed to eat today / tattoo idea: getting an accurate diagram of your sinuses across your face / robot earrings that periodically bite u / prepare a full meal using only machines executing gcode /episode/index/show/b191239c-0cf8-46a2-9e70-bb69b8c87a02/id/39048175

Caulk Cock / Asbestos Santa / Burger Speedrun 11/16/2025

Caulk Cock / Asbestos Santa / Burger Speedrun The very first episode! We discuss ideas such as cock made of caulk / asbestos santa suit / burger speedrun / cooking with household appliances (potato in dryer) / bluetooth audio tongue piercing / sour cream and onion Oreos / Computer that sweats / Porn captchas / /episode/index/show/b191239c-0cf8-46a2-9e70-bb69b8c87a02/id/39048155

Shitpost Mortem

TOPICS