Cultivation podcast
Discussing the tool you need to become the best version of yourself
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BRAIN CHANGE
11/29/2022
BRAIN CHANGE
3 IMPORTANT Takeaways Change is scary to our brains, so they sabotage it by defaulting to fear. Change is also craved by our brains to learn and grow. Change requires taking control of your mind instead of letting your mind control you. This final episode of Season 7 of the Cultivation Podcast wraps up our season of change by giving you the important topic of navigating change in our minds. There’s a lot happening upstairs as we go through change. Change begins inside of us with visualizing it before it manifests externally. Our brains HATE the unknown and our brains are programmed to automate as many processes as possible. They are trying to automate instead of burning calories by thinking. That is why we often jump to conclusions and make assumptions. When it comes to navigating change, our brain goes to the fear factor, and we start thinking about all the things we will lose or how it will fall apart. We tend to fill in the gaps with the negativity of what we’ve experienced in our past. What our brain wants us not to do is the same thing it simultaneously craves - change causes our brain to grow new connections and patterns. Knowing that neuroscience of how our brain works allows us to approach change with a more mature understanding. You must take control of your mind instead of letting it control you. You will have to think through whether it’s an imaginary outcome, a made-up scenario or if it’s a real possibility. The downside is that with any change comes the risk of it failing. But as I’ve said before on this podcast: Any time you fail, you grow. You learn how to do it better next time and that is how you can choose to embrace failure. Don’t be paralyzed by the fear of the unknown or anxiety of making a change, because failure to make changes in your life will result in your greatest regrets. We want to hear your season of change: Message, comment and engage with us on , , , and .
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Ingredients of a change w/ David Specht
11/15/2022
Ingredients of a change w/ David Specht
3 IMPORTANT Takeaways Change is messy, so be mindful of that before and after the change. Change is a process that requires an open heart and mind. Change requires courage that is contagious to others. The Cultivation Podcast is exploring a season of change with the return of a special guest, my great friend David Specht. His own season of change has gone hand in hand with my own. David was born and raised in Louisiana and after moving away to serve in the U.S. Air Force, he had lived in roughly the same place for 30 years. Within nine months, David and his family felt the call to move to middle Tennessee. That move required a lot of unpacking, both physical and mental. He had a legacy connection to that community in Louisiana, he represented the area as a previous chairman of the chamber of commerce, and he had two sons and a grandson living in the same town. Sound familiar? David’s story is proof that when you are in the right circles, a lot of other people have experienced the same pivot points in their lives. His story is also proof that when you consider all the ingredients of a change, be mindful of the messy side of a change on the front end — like shock and rumors within your current community — and the backside — an entire family living in one house, or a new car note because it doesn’t fit your new garage. But the important thing is to know that messiness is not a sign you made the wrong decision. David points out to not judge a change by the messiness, judge it by the progress. Look at the new relationships being formed, and the new community being built that you can help. He advises to have your heart and mind open to the discovery process of the change. You won’t have all the details and it may feel like organized chaos but focus on how you’re growing. That courage to change will help someone find their courage to change. Change isn’t always drastic but inspires people to make the change they have been desiring. Davis is proof that if YOU have a desire for change in your heart, you can be wise about it and seek advice. But you are the one who has to decide and the “future you” is waiting for you to make that courageous decision. We want to hear your season of change: Message, comment and engage with us on , , , and .
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EMOTIONS OF CHANGE
11/08/2022
EMOTIONS OF CHANGE
3 IMPORTANT Takeaways Change mirrors the seven stages of grief. Change is only sudden to the person not making it. Change has a lot of hope but also a lot of sadness. The Cultivation Podcast season 7 is all about exploring change and this episode is dedicated to the process of change. Change isn’t sudden. If you’re thinking of making a change, you’ve been going through the process — you’ve probably struggled with it, fantasized about it, or practiced it. And, you have probably realized that change mirrors the seven stages of grief. As you step into a new change in your life, there’s hope, possibility, and excitement but when it’s time to change out of that season, that hope is being let go and there a sadness. It’s all part of the process. Here are the seven stages of change: Shock and denial. You don’t want that season to end because it was enjoyable at one point. However, you must focus on the future potential. Pain and guilt. It feels like a wound to have the guilt of leaving certain people behind. You cannot skip this stage because you need to fully understand what you’re letting go. Anger and bargaining. Maybe you don’t want this change, but it comes whether you want it or not. But if we choose to take the responsibility and not delay it, we can move through the change. Depression and loneliness. There will be times when people can’t understand or comprehend the change you’re going through, or the ideal you’re striving for. Know that you’re not the only person who has had to go through the change you’re facing. Upward turn. As you start to see the results of the change, you realize the hope and potential. When was the last time you did something for the first time? It’s life-giving! Reconstruction. You will reconstruct your mindset and become a new version of yourself. When you stop living is not death, it’s when you stop growing. Change is your construction season to build yourself. Acceptance and hope. Accept that change is a reality and that you are changing and growing. It’s a hopeful future for your life iif you embrace and own change. We want to hear your season of change: Message, comment and engage with us on , , , and .
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The Effects of Change w/ Ryan Thogmartin
11/01/2022
The Effects of Change w/ Ryan Thogmartin
3 IMPORTANT Takeaways Change causes a ripple effect. Change causes doubt that requires a review of your reason for changing. Change is surprising and the results aren’t always clear. The Cultivation Podcast’s season of change continues with my special guest, Ryan Thogmartin. Ryan is not only my friend, but he is also an expert in navigating change. Ryan’s season of change has lasted three years. He moved from Ohio to Utah to Arizona in 2.5 years with a wife who had lived in the same place her entire life and two daughters in tow who only knew the same house and street. This caused a generational ripple effect. Change is relative and unique. For some people, moving is a normal way of life, but Ryan uprooting his family to pursue a calling was a major event in his and his family’s life. This calling resulted in sadness at leaving the home Ryan and his family knew, but an excitement for the future of that calling. Change is a season where joy and grief coexist. Ryan’s story is proof that the tension of change is what produces growth. At some point, you will realize friends, family, and coworkers are on a different frequency, and they can’t see anything from the same lens. That’s why you need to give yourself permission to recognize that is okay because it’s not selfish or arrogant. Ryan also discusses his season of doubt where his family had to avoid the urge to go backwards. Steer through that confusion by knowing change is going to stretch you and grow you, and change for the sake of developing is the core of the reason for change. His story also illustrates that change gives the gift of surprise where the results aren’t obvious and gets clearer when you walk into that change. He persevered through struggles to pursue his family’s calling, and each step revealed itself as each choice was made. We want to hear your season of change: Message, comment and engage with us on , , , and .
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Isolation of Change w/ Kylie Hammel
10/25/2022
Isolation of Change w/ Kylie Hammel
3 IMPORTANT Takeaways Change can be lonely, but you can use that time to work on yourself. Change can prove a lot about you to yourself. Change brings anxiety at first but a lot of freedom afterwards. We’re continuing Season 7 of the Cultivation Podcast, the season of change, and are joined by a special guest…My daughter! Kylie Hammel joins us to talk about her own change. Kylie will discuss the isolation of COVID, no community, and no comfort of going back to her old community, and how that forced her to embrace that time alone and work on herself, set goals and plan for the future. As a high school senior, she had her year upended by the COVID-19 pandemic. From dealing with all the senior traditions being ripped away to working through that change and embracing it through a year spent at home during the pandemic before refocusing to study abroad in England at the University of Chester. She talks about navigating travel and living in a foreign country, and how she learned to build her own community. Then she was surprised to learn her family is changing themselves by moving out of her childhood home. But that initial season of change revealed a lot about herself in terms of perseverance, overcoming adversity, and pride in achieving goals. There’s a lesson that the anxiety of change up front is offset by the freedom of making change happen. Don’t get paralyzed by that anxiety so you can achieve the freedom of that decision on the back end. Kylie’s story shows that change causes some of the most profound loneliness in your life - whether it’s moving, a new job, or a new school - and that change is unique to you. But you can work through it and create your own community. We want to hear your season of change: Message, comment and engage with us on , , , and .
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My Changes
10/18/2022
My Changes
3 IMPORTANT Takeaways Change is emotional. Change is a process. Change comes with surprises. Today we continue Season 7 of the Cultivation Podcast, talking about my own story with the hopes that you can relate. I took a hiatus because my family and I navigated some major changes in our lives — we made the massive decision about one year ago to change careers after a decade in the ministry and move from California to Arizona, while my oldest daughter entered college and my youngest entered high school. I had to go through that process to embrace that change. I wanted to be super intentional about the next season of our lives serving people as life and health coaches to awaken others to their potential. My wife and I felt called by destiny and wanted to call our own shots. We made this decision to best shape our future and be in control of choices we had relinquished to others. So, how did I come to this decision? There was a lot of wrestling and dialogue. There wasn’t any negative, which made the decisions harder! I also discovered there is a lot of emotion tied to identity. Navigating change in our lives, we need to own the emotional side of it. Change is a never-ending process, but I want you to own the process so you can be more efficient and take personal responsibility to lead the change in your life. For every change, there is a reaction. Even being proactive about the change in your life, some of those reactions are surprises. So, you need to embrace that unscripted part of change. These surprises can come in the reaction from your family, financial opportunities, and discovering a new community who are going through similar changes. As we embrace the surprises, it won’t derail our drive to steer through these changes. As a result of this change, I can’t tell you what it has done to enrich our lives and I want that for you too. We want to hear your season of change: Message, comment and engage with us on , , , and .
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SEASON OF CHANGE
10/11/2022
SEASON OF CHANGE
3 IMPORTANT Takeaways Change is universal. We can’t deny or eliminate change. We can guide and steer change. I’m back! Welcome to Season 7 of the Cultivation Podcast, which is all about the journey of change in your life. Change is a universal human experience. That got drive home to me when I spent hours upon hours talking with my grandmother about all the changes she had seen in her life. While your lifetime may not see the switch from gas lamp street lights to electrical lighting or switchboard telephones to automated digital calls, there has been change in my life and there has been change in your life. Since the day we were born, we have been experiencing change in our lives and the lives of people around us. We may have been resistant to it or embraced it, loved it or hated it, or were emotional about it or logical about it. But…We can’t deny or eliminate change in our life. So, how do we embrace and navigate the change in our life? You will experience change, and I will help you to determine how you will respond to the change cultivating in your life right now. In this season, we will explore: How can I map out what I want the results of change to be? The unknowns of change Understanding the season of change we are in Asking if we are being provoked to change We want to hear your season of change: Message, comment and engage with us on , , , and .
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Caring together W/ Jami Hammel
10/26/2021
Caring together W/ Jami Hammel
We’re closing out season 6 of the Cultivation Podcast with a very special guest...My wife, Jami Hammel! She joins me for the second time on the podcast for an unscripted discussion as we wrap up the theme of self-care. We talk about what self-care looks like, overcoming parental guilt, navigating the seasons of life, the need for a date night, supporting each other’s hobbies, and sharing success. See some of our discussion below and be sure to listen so you hear the full, in-depth discussion: Tom: What is self care to you? Jami: Self-care is a lot of different things and it looks older when I was younger with young kids. Self-care is a little bit of alone time. I enjoy shopping alone or getting a manicure, pedicare, massage, or getting coffee by myself. Tom: What would you say to yourself about the guilt of self-care? Jami: There’s the “Mom guilt” of feeling we’re not taking care of the kids, and you have to realize it’s okay to take care of yourself. You can’t go, go, go all the time, you need down time. Tom: How important is self care to a relationship? Jami: Date night is super important, we do it every week. Maybe it’s simple, we just go out for coffee and talk...Being intentional is the key because it’s never perfect. Tom: How important is it to support each other’s interests and share successes? Jami: It’s super important to give you space to do what they love to do, even if it’s not your biggest interest. Tom: I try to be invested in your success. Jamie is a health coach and the face of that, I’m the support of that. So, I’m always trying to figure out where I can help and I’m seeing the reverse investment in myself. Jami: I wouldn’t be as successful without your help and encouragement. And, everyone can do that for their spouse. I think words of encouragement go a long way.
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Physical Care
10/19/2021
Physical Care
Season 6 of the Cultivation Podcast continues its journey discussing the necessity and value of self-care. This week’s episode is about the value of taking care of ourselves to we can stay active. We have to build in healthy motion in our lives to improve ourselves physically. I don’t mean getting a Hollywood superhero physique, but one of the worst things we can do to ourselves is to stay stagnant. I don’t love the gym, but I love having the energy, strength and endurance to show up in my loved ones’ lives and be the best version of myself. So, what are some steps for promoting physical-care? Sleep — Develop a healthy sleep rhythm. We’re never going to feel motivated to do jumping jacks if we don’t have the right amount of sleep. Diet — What you’re putting into the gas tank will determine how well our engine runs. Our blood pressure, our strength, even our joint health is determined by what we eat. Eating — Take a lunch break! Not eating because you’re so busy is a terrible habit. Eat in rhythm and on time. Movement — And if you’re on a break, go for a walk. Healthy motion doesn’t mean running a 5K or bench press, it can be a short walk around your workplace or walking your dog down the street. Stretching — Make sure you’re mobile enough to accomplish your goals and commitments. Stretching promotes movement and that means being able to do what you need to do Rest — Take your vacation time. Not taking the time to rest and recover means the world isn’t getting the best version of you.
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Workplace Care
10/12/2021
Workplace Care
This week’s Cultivation Podcast continues the journey of self-care by exploring how you can take care of yourself professionally so you can perform your job at the highest level possible. You can’t improve as an employee if you’re worn out, burnt out, or bored. Showing up as the best employee possible is not just about serving your company, it’s about being your best self to leave an impact on other people. Here are some ways to take care of yourself in the workplace so you can achieve your potential: Engage with Supervisor — Meet with your supervisor to see what their expectations are. Sometimes we set ourselves up with what we imagine our work expectations to be, only to find out they are completely different. Or if you own a business, meet with other business owners to find ways to raise the bar for yourself. Challenge Yourself — Employees become lazy on the job when they get bored, which is why it’s important to challenge yourself in the work environment. Every job has its own parts we don’t like, but the goal is to overcome that and grow from it. Set up a Peer Group — Set up a group built for challenging one another and taking you all to the next level. A community for workplace tasks that is not about improving the company, but support to be a better employee and perform in a professional way. Set Healthy Boundaries — Have boundaries with staff and clients to avoid taking work home so you aren’t drained. You can not give out your cell number or don’t answer emails/work calls after 9 p.m. Very few things are a true emergency, so don’t let someone else’s emergency become your problem. Invest in Your Business IQ — Are you growing your skills? Get new training, read business books, listen to business podcasts to raise the bar for yourself. Attend Professional Development — We live in a digital age, but going in-person to conventions and conferences is super important. You have to soak up that environment and energy of a live event because it transforms your mindset.
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Emotional Care
10/05/2021
Emotional Care
Season 6 of the Cultivation Podcast is dedicated to self-care. This episode dives into the sticky subject of emotions. Keeping emotions pent up is a terrible idea because it means they will explode. So, you need to process what we’re dealing with in order to avoid a hurricane of emotions. Emotional care is about allowing yourself to experience your full range of emotions, embrace that, and process it maturely. My household uses the phrase “Stop, challenge and choose”. I do that to identify why I am experiencing that emotion. Below are some ways you can promote emotional care in your life: Experience — None of us are immune to emotions, so the key is to conquer those emotions by experiencing them. But that doesn’t mean letting them control you. Part of that includes having a group you can vent to in a healthy, honest, and clear way. Identify Emotions — Assign an emotion to a task, adventure, or workload. If you aren’t intentional, you’re allowing yourself to be controlled by your emotions. For example: Avoid building stress at work by celebrating successes. Have an Outlet — Find something you can enjoy, use music to put you in a positive headspace, or find a quiet place to pause and gain control over your emotions. Have an Accountability Partner — You need someone who will call you on your junk. When you’re blinded by your emotions, it’s important to have that person who will check you. Or when you hit a high stress point, communicate that to select people and give them the ability to call you on it. Let It Go — If you’re dealing with bitterness or anger towards someone, it will cause your emotions to rule you. Part of emotional self care is to let some things go so that your emotions toward a person/situation/past experience won’t hold you captive to your emotions.
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Relational Care
09/28/2021
Relational Care
This week’s episode of the Cultivation Podcast continues the season’s theme of self care by discussing relationships. Relationships add meaning and purpose to your life. How many great memories do you have by yourself? And how many solo achievements do you wish you had been able to share with someone else? Nothing good happens in isolation and the world we live in has a lot of mental stress as people feel more isolated and less connected. Here are some ways to maintain supportive, healthy and diverse relationships: Prioritize — Don’t use your personality type as an excuse for not building healthy, supportive relationships. For all my introverts out there, being alone is how you refresh but you still need to be with other people. To extroverts, just because you’re outgoing doesn’t mean you have real friends, I know many extroverts who are lonely. Recognize Your Responsibility — There are different levels of responsibility and importance for relationships. My wife takes priority above my friends because I promised that to her at our wedding. For my daughters, I am the most influential relationship in their life right now and it only helps them when I prioritize that relationship. Share Experiences — Make relationships about experiences, not about stuff. Giving gifts is a great way to add value, but sharing experiences is a great way to create memories and bring you closer together. Take vacations or have that backyard barbecue as a relational investment. Set Boundaries — Set healthy boundaries with your work schedule so you have time to spend with your family. Go to bed early so you have the right mindset and energy level for quality time with your friends and family. Carve out time in your schedule for getting into your community. Form Diverse Relationships — Be friends with people who don’t share the same views as you. We become so much more mature and enriched when we have actual conversations that don’t fully align with us. My greatest growth potential comes in my relationships, so I challenge you to have relationships with people who are different from you.
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Everyone Needs a Coach
09/21/2021
Everyone Needs a Coach
This week’s Cultivation Podcast continues the journey of self-care and self-investment in order to be the best YOU possible, with special guest Vanessa Suazo. Vanessa is Tom’s personal trainer and joins the podcast to talk about Vaness and Tom talk about her dream job, and how it shifted from veterinarian to journalism and now helping people take control of their health. Tom notes that people who do a job that they hate and asks Vanessa how she made a change to follow her passion, with Vanessa revealing that it was others showing her how talented she is helping others in their fitness. And, she admits that her own personal health is important but knows she has to lead by example in order to help others achieve their goals. She shares insight into knowing how clients have crossed over from “can’t” to achieving and that impact of seeing growth and progress, saying her job is fulfilling because she sees people bettering themselves. Tom says everyone needs a coach and she says that coaching is unique because it requires a close personal relationship. Vanessa reveals the best part about being Tom’s coach — he’s disciplined and wants to do things the right way — and her least favorite thing — all the questions. She gives some free advice to get them started on their health journey: Do the basics. Vanessa says not to dive head first into a fancy, strenuous program. She says to eat well, drink enough water, and get sleep first before aiming big. The pair even get into discussing their favorite lower body workouts, Vanessa’s next goal of training for a daunting Spartan Ultra Race, and how much Tom complains about burpees.
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Spiritual Care
09/14/2021
Spiritual Care
This season of the Cultivation Podcast is about how we can invest in and rejuvenate ourselves via self-care. So far, we’ve talked about our psychology, work, and emotions but we need to look at our whole being, not just one aspect. This includes spirituality. Spirituality is a sense of perspective beyond our day to day life. It’s about recognizing life isn’t just about the day to day grind, there’s another plane and realm. Personally, my spirituality is my faith that Jesus Christ is the son of God and he died to remove the barrier of sin from God. Spirituality is a key component to who we are as a person — our purpose is to impact other people and we can’t step into that purpose if we ignore the spiritual side of our being. Below are action steps on building spiritual care in your life: Reflect — In Western society’s rat race, we need that silence and time to reflect. That means prayer, meditation, journaling, or enjoying nature. It works best when you do these regularly. Growth — Challenge yourself by reading/listening to scriptures daily to learn and studying sermons to get a different perspective. Getting the same views and lessons only stagnates growth. Go to Church — There is something powerful about being in a live experience. We’re built for community and so is our spirit. Soaking up that energy and atmosphere is super important to feeding our spirit. Be in Nature — Look at the majesty of creation. Taking adventures like hikes and camping are fun, but doing something new creates an awakening. Being in nature can awaken your spiritual being. Honor Others Spirituality — Honoring the spiritual being of others can form a connection. Experience other people’s creativity and spirit. Share the spirituality of another person. Have Conversations — Schedule time to have conversations with others about spirituality. Recognize spirituality is who you are, so share that journey with a community.
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Physcological Self Care
09/07/2021
Physcological Self Care
Season 6 of the Cultivation Podcast is all about self-care and the process of taking time to be intentional about how we’re growing and leading ourselves. Self-care seems like a crazy topic in our self-centered world, but we often neglect our self-care because we are trying to chase after a better version of ourselves! Self-care starts with our mindset. Many of our obstacles take place in our minds, and we give up when we get overwhelmed. Psychological self-care is about going to a place where we can clear our heads and engage in those key areas of our lives and refresh. So here are some steps on how to do that: Get enough rest — We are overworked trying to overachieve and we don’t get the right amount of sleep, which impacts almost all areas of our body. Sleeping actually resets your brain. It is medicine to your mind. Keep a gratitude journal — There is a lot of negativity in this world, so write out things you are grateful for. Maybe it’s as simple as a beautiful sunset or a good meal. But if you make it a routine, when you’re having a bad moment you can reflect on positive areas in your life. Seek outside help — We love our friends and family, but at some point you need to take an inventory of the amount of outside help you have available. Michael Jordan won 6 NBA Championships, but he had a coach. So, if the No. 1 player in that sport’s history has a coach, then you need a professional who tries to better you. Find a hobby away from work — We need downtime, so find a hobby that provides some unplug time. After you engage with your hobby, you should feel refreshed but don’t consume too much of your time, money, or relationship capital. Unplug from technology — Put away the phone, let that email sit, don’t get on Facebook. Interruptions in today’s world are numerous, but you need time away from those constant interruptions that continue to take away from your brain. You can’t give the best effort and version of yourself if you are constantly being distracted. Make time to relax — Buy a hammock, go hiking, or just relax on the couch with a book. We have to schedule time to rest and relax. Allow life not to run you, but for you to run life. Engage in positive friendships — Relationships have an incredible power to positively impact our education, finances, and mindset. Our peers set the bar of what is normal, so make sure you are around positive friends who influence your life.
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DREAMING & CONFIDENCE W/JAMI HAMMEL PT. 2
04/27/2021
DREAMING & CONFIDENCE W/JAMI HAMMEL PT. 2
We are closing out Season 5 of the Cultivation Podcast with Tom’s wife, Jami! She returns to wrap up the words to live by season by discussing “Dreaming and Confidence”. Confidence is defined as a feeling or consciousness of one’s power or resilience in one’s circumstances; faith or belief one will act in a right proper way; quality or state of being certain; relation of trust or intimacy. While Jami is Tom’s wife of 21 years, a mother, musician and Health Coach, she had to learn confidence. In her life, she built that by getting healthy because it brought on another level of capability. But she adds that means getting healthy in all areas of her life and relearning things about herself. Tom says we are the single most influential voice in our own lives, what we say to ourselves about ourselves carries a lot of weight. Healthy self-talk means shutting out negative thoughts of unworthiness or incapability. That can be as simple as recognizing that what we do or say to ourselves in the morning will shape our day. Dreaming is defined as “to consider a possibility or imagine”. Jami underscores the importance of dreaming by revealing how three years ago she really started to dream and saw opportunities come, the dreams get bigger, and more dreams start awakening. She encourages you to dream big, and don’t feel guilty about wanting more because it’s okay to accomplish your dreams. She says we get stifled in our dreams by worrying about what others will think about our dreams. But she notes that realizing your dreams can inspire others. Tom and Jami give the following tools for accomplishing your dreams: Make a dreamboard. Don’t be scared to put what you want to have or accomplish, especially when they can help other people. Choose a word for each year. This can be a theme for how you live your life and approach your year. See it behind your eyes. When you close your eyes, what did your five-year-old self see? Over time, those dreams get pushed down and we need to rediscover what we wanted.
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PURPOSE & COMPARISON W/JAMI HAMMEL PT. 1
04/20/2021
PURPOSE & COMPARISON W/JAMI HAMMEL PT. 1
The penultimate episode of Season 5 of the Cultivation Podcast features a very special guest...Tom’s wife! Her first time on the podcast will see the couple discuss “Purpose and Comparison” as they wrap up the words to live by season. Jami is not only Tom’s wife of 21 years, but she is a mother, musician and Health Coach. Comparison is the examination of two or more items to establish similarities and dissimilarities. Tom and Jami have seen people be paralyzed by comparisons. Jami advises that while unhealthy comparisons can kill your motivation, healthy comparison can inspire you to be better. Tom explains unhealthy comparisons are based on comparing yourself to others who have a special skill or unique ability that doesn’t translate to your skills. Meanwhile, healthy motivation is about emulating people you look up to and comparing yourself to identify your growth. Jami’s tips for overcoming unhealthy comparisons are to create a mindset that you need to know who you are and be comfortable with yourself. You can’t be anyone else, you need to bring your unique skills and talents to the table. She also advises you not to measure yourself with a public image. Public personas, like on social media, are a cultivated and perfected image that doesn’t reflect reality. There’s so many things behind the scenes we don’t see, we can’t compare ourselves to it. Purpose is defined as something set up as an object or end to be obtained. Jami discusses that while being a mom and wife has a big purpose in her life, getting her body and mind healthy has awakened a new purpose in her life. Being a health coach helps people find their purpose in life. Jami and Tom note that a major obstacle to finding purpose is getting healthy. Jami points out that when you start getting your body healthy, you get more confidence and it shows you that you’re capable of more than you imagined. It also showcases that you need to invest in yourself. Lastly, Jami mentions that when it comes to finding purpose, we need a coach in our life. And not just health, but all areas of our lives.
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Action
04/13/2021
Action
3 Must-Hear Takeaways Sometimes we have to stop planning and just take action. The hardest part of action is getting started. Give yourself grace because small actions lead to a breakthrough. In this episode, Tom continues the Season 5 theme of words to live by with his explanation of “Action”. Tom notes this podcast is about cultivating dreams, purpose, and possibility. But before we can achieve that, we have to be people of action. The simplest definition of action is “a thing done” or “the accomplishment of a thing over a period of time”. Getting things done is taking action. Action is over time, done in stages or with the possibility of repetition. My nature is a planner, but I have had to grow to where at some point I take action. Sometimes we are educated enough and have enough details to where we need to take action and allow the path to become clear while we’re on the journey. You are capable of learning as you go. Stop thinking and researching, just go do. Since we don't know what we don’t know, it keeps us open to possibilities we might not have considered if we waited until we had all the facts. Taking action is the energy we need, but it can be one of the hardest steps. When a rocket is launched, the most energy spent is getting off the ground. Action produces momentum. In life, there is usually more talk than action. But inaction doesn’t get celebrated, bring wins, or give us a breakthrough. A year of action means taking the steps to accomplish all the things we’ve been dreaming about. Give yourself grace for the process. Part of the journey is taking the small action to achieve the breakthrough down the road. It takes time, so break it down and figure out what needs action today, this week or this month. So, what are you waiting on to get started? You are unique and special. Now, it’s time to take action and get started — write that book, launch that business, take responsibility for your health, improve your finances. www.ourcultivatedlives.com
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IDENTITY
04/06/2021
IDENTITY
3 Must-Hear Takeaways Have a voice in your life who can identify your growth. Measure your growth by setting a baseline and being specific about effort. Celebrate your progress to train your mind for motivation. Season 5 of the Cultivation Podcast continues to give words to live by with an episode on “Identity”. Tom is passionate about identity because it keeps them on course or knocks them off course to achieving their goals. Identity is defined as the distinguishing character or personality of an individual or the relation established by psychological identification. Simply, identity is about how you label yourself. How do you answer the question, “Who are you?” We don’t typically choose our identity, we look to personality tests or others close to us to tell us who we are. We have to decide if we will let others define us or we take responsibility and have an intentional identity. My identity is evolving because I am constantly growing. Instead of having an accidental identity, I want a personal and intentional identity. That helps me frame and formulate my investment in every relationship, it helps me think about the things I put into others’ lives. My choices are based around who I want to become. Nothing about my life is accidental. That doesn’t mean my life is scripted, but the inputs are. There is still the mystery of what I don’t know about myself and looking to discover about/within myself. This podcast is a foundational motivation for people who want to have an intentional identity. We built this, other resources on our website, and I wrote my book because I believe you want an intentional identity so you can become the person you want to become. www.ourcultivatedlives.com
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SILVER LININGS W/DENISE KORENEK
03/30/2021
SILVER LININGS W/DENISE KORENEK
Season 5 of the Cultivation Podcast continues with special guest Denise Korenek. Because this season is all about words to live by, Tom and Denise will discuss “Silver Linings”. Denise Korenek was raised to do anything she set her mind to. She combined that with her adventurous side to become the holder of a world record. Denise set the record for bicycle land speed for both man and woman at a staggering 183.9 mph. While that is the highlight, Denise had to overcome a slew of obstacles to get there. She notes that silver linings during that process played a pivotal role in her setting the world record. She says there are silver linings every day for everyone. The pivotal moment for establishing the mindset to look for silver linings was when her dad passed away. While attending a transformational workshop, Denise had to find what gift she received in his passing. It opened her eyes that positives can be found in anything. Tom notes that you get what you’re looking for. A lot of people wait for disappointments or look for flaws but the idea of always looking for a silver lining is how you find them. It gives us the strength to overcome difficulties and learn from them so we can grow. Denise adds that looking for the positives can come down to the words we use, she points out something as simple as the phrase “No problem” has two negatives together. She suggests saying “All good” because those little things can add up to make a difference.
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Growth
03/23/2021
Growth
3 Must-Hear Takeaways Have a voice in your life who can identify your growth. Measure your growth by setting a baseline and being specific about effort. Celebrate your progress to train your mind for motivation. Season 5 of the Cultivation Podcast is all about words to live by and this episode’s word is “Growth”. Tom explains his passion for growth and why we need to be growing in our lives. Growth is defined as progressive development; an increase or expansion. Ask yourself how are you growing your mind, soul, skills, purpose, or possibilities? Growth should be happening, you should not be in the same place! Growth gives us more independence and freedom? What are you dependent on? How do you need to grow and expand your emotions, understanding, and appetite for adventure? The hard part is that we don’t often see our own growth. We need people close to us who can give us perspective and identify areas where we grew. Find the voice who can identify those areas of growth in your life. Measure your growth. Identify your current reality to set a baseline for any area you want to grow in. Be specific about how or what effort it will require. Then, you need to celebrate progress to train your mindset and build motivation. That is a key element because it keeps us motivated to keep growing. My friend David A. Specht says that our brains are meant to keep growing. Maybe you’re not experiencing the fullness of life because you’ve stopped growing. We have to keep learning and growing. I ask you, when was the last time you learned something for the first time?
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MOTIVATION
03/16/2021
MOTIVATION
3 Must-Hear Takeaways Motivation is fleeting, so we have to fuel it. Write down what you’re motivated to do and set a timeline on it. Motivation is nothing without discipline. The Cultivation Podcast continues Season 5’s theme of words to live by with host Tom Hammel diving into the meaning of “Motivation”. Motivation is defined as the act or process of moving others to act; the condition of being moved to act; a force, stimulus or influence. We need to be motivated to action, or motivate others to action. The dangerous side of motivation is fleeting. For example: Sometimes we are not motivated to go to the gym or stay within our spending habits. So, we have to fuel our motivation. But how do we do that? We need to write down what we’re motivated about and then put a timeline on what we’re motivated to do. Motivation is an emotional state and we need fresh inspiration. That can be this podcast or books, or it can be a reward for doing what you need to do. Without discipline, motivation is nothing. We need the motivation to do what we have to do when we don’t feel like it. And, we do that by building a structure of discipline. I want you to get up every day, excited to embrace that day, and cultivate life by staying motivated and implementing the disciplines to fuel that motivation to reach the destination we have for our lives.
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ADVENTURE & FORTITUDE W/DOUG REID
03/09/2021
ADVENTURE & FORTITUDE W/DOUG REID
Season 5 of the Cultivation Podcast is all about words to live by. This episode dissects “Adventure and Fortitude” with special guest Doug Reid. Doug, as a mentor and brother in law to Tom, discusses how adventure is a mindset and gives tips on how to live a life of fortitude. Adventure is defined as an undertaking involving danger and unknown risks. Adventure means rejecting comfort for finding something new, so a life of risk ends up a life of victory. Doug says he views adventure as a mindset of how he lives his life. He says choosing to live a life of adventure opens up our mind to embrace life. It causes you to view possibilities instead of problems, an adventurous mindset looks for opportunities instead of what can hold us back. Doug goes on to say that an adventure mindset is taking a risk but being mindful, not jumping blindly. Tom adds that what holds us back is that fear of the unknown, but the pair points out that losing your sense of adventure in life makes life dull, so you have to work at it. Adventure doesn’t just happen, you have to cultivate an adventurous mindset so you can enjoy life. Adventure is uncomfortable, costs something, and has an unknown outcome. Doug adds that he has learned a life of adventure requires learning to suffer. When you live a life of dreams and adventure, you have to learn to suffer because it’s the only way you can keep living that life. Fortitude is defined as strength of mind that allows a person to encounter danger or bear pain with courage. People who have the fortitude to suffer are celebrated because it brings validation. Doug notes that fortitude is mental toughness that is earned, not given. People who earn things through fortitude have built the muscles in their life to get things done. The pair gives the keys to developing fortitude: Be willing to fail. Recognize you will fail and be willing to learn from it. Focus on what we can control. Don’t worry about what you can’t control. Make sure those around you have the right mindset. Those who influence you need to have a grit because it can rub off on you. Learn from fear. Fear shouldn’t be discounted, build courage by learning from your previous experience. Expect adversity. If it’s all easy, it’s not worth anything. Don’t be easily offended. We let other people dictate the outcome instead of owning it. Do it afraid.
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COMMITMENT
03/02/2021
COMMITMENT
3 Must-Hear Takeaways Commitment is first an agreement we make with ourselves. Commit to ourselves how we are going to react to and overcome disappointment. To achieve your commitments, write it down and feed that commitment. Welcome to Season 5 of the Cultivation Podcast! This season has the theme of words to live by because words are powerful. This episode sees Tom dive into “Commitment”. Commitment is defined as an agreement or pledge to do something in the future. We have to understand that means we made an agreement with ourselves, first and foremost, that this commitment will be something that is non-negotiable in our lives. We never implement anything until we commit to ourselves how we are going to behave. When we fall into depression is when we break those commitments to ourselves, and our biggest disappointments are those broken commitments to ourselves. We have probably all been on the end of broken commitments. How do we react to that? We have to commit to ourselves how we are going to react to and overcome that disappointment. In your future, you will definitely experience disappointment. We cannot allow situations and circumstances to alter our mindset or behavior. Where are you breaking commitments to yourself or others? The more broken commitments the more flaws we see in ourselves. So, I am asking you to hit the reset button. It’s not New Year’s Day, but you can still start fresh. Here’s how: Write it down. Think of one area of improvement, whether it is physical or behavioral, and then master it before you move on. Feed that commitment. Remove temptations and distractions, or set up reinforcements that fuel that commitment. I am so proud of you today for taking the step to commit to improving your life and joining me on our journey to live the cultivated lifestyle.
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INTEGRITY & COMPASSION W/JASON FRENN
02/23/2021
INTEGRITY & COMPASSION W/JASON FRENN
Season 5 of the Cultivation Podcast continues with words to live by and this week’s episode see Tom joined by guest Jason Frenn. Jason takes his experience as an international speaker and author to share his insight on the meaning of “Integrity and Compassion”. Integrity is a firm adherence to a code of moral or artistic value; unimpaired condition or soundness; quality or state of being complete or undivided. Jason says he defines integrity means doing the right thing when no one is watching. What is your attitude, what are you saying, what are you watching, what is going through your heart, what are your choices when no one is around? Tom goes on to add that part of the human condition is we have all broken our integrity, but part of getting integrity back is owning it. Jason explains that to do that you need a framework of right and wrong, so that when you break your integrity you own it and ask for forgiveness or you opt to skirt that responsibility. By asking forgiveness, it reestablishes that trust for people to see you as a person of integrity. Tom adds that it comes down to that we accuse others of what we would do in that situation based upon our integrity or lack thereof. The more we own our broken integrity, the more trustworthy we become and the more we trust others. Compassion is defined as sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress and intentionality of alleviating. Jason notes that compassion is about having empathy on those that suffer. He explains that when we coach or lead people towards transformation and become too sympathetic, we start feeling the same impossibilities they feel. Sympathy should be understanding others’ struggles and not being governed by the problems that constrain them. Tom says fulfilling his purpose will bring joy and energy into other people’s lives. That journey gives compassion for other people’s struggles in finding their purpose. Jason’s work as a speaker serves people via teaching others to discover the “Golden Thread” — what you were wired to do with your God-given gifts — as opposed to following your passion. Tom takes it a step further to note that passion can be seasonal, passion has to be stoked. But leaning into your giftings and talent will awaken your purpose and compassion.
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DILIGENCE
02/16/2021
DILIGENCE
3 Must-Hear Takeaways Diligence requires effort that we generate ourselves. We have to be prepared to “Go Pro” with our diligence. To achieve diligence you need to assess your current reality, implement a system and commit to yourself. Season 5 of the Cultivation Podcast! This season is all about words to live by and this episode’s word is “Diligence”. Tom will talk about how diligence requires grit, fortitude, the determination to complete a task. Diligence is a steady, earnest and energetic effort; devotion or painstaking work; application to accomplishing an undertaking. To be a diligent person, you will need all the steps, information, and processes but the one thing you can’t get is the diligence or effort to get the thing done. No one can give you that thing, you have to dig deep within yourself. And, nothing is going to determine the outcome more than the amount of effort you put into it. There will be moments where we hit a wall and our expertise will end. That’s when it will require additional effort to learn and grow so we can go to the next level. We call it “Going Pro”, that is where we put in professional effort for a professional result. Maybe your effort has been subpar, but the beauty is that because your effort is from you, you have complete control. Today you can decide to Go Pro and up your effort. Here are steps to increase our effort in any area of our life: Assess your current reality - are you where you could, should or want to be? Get honest with yourself. Most people don’t put in the effort because they don’t want to admit they are not where they want to be. Implement a system - set a routine, schedule your time in a calendar to build a structure of diligence. Those can be really simple and elementary until it becomes the norm. Commit to yourself - Don’t allow any distractions, don’t allow others’ emergencies to disturb you. Tell yourself these are rocks in your schedule that you are going to do the work and make time to exert effort so you can build that diligence. I can’t put in the effort for you, you can’t put in the effort for me. It’s on each of us to find the effort to build the diligence that will take us to the next level.
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Service
02/09/2021
Service
3 Must-Hear Takeaways Our purpose is using our gifts to serve others. We are more valuable when we help others realize their own gifts. Service is less of an act and more of a mindset. The Cultivation Podcast Season 5 continues giving you words to live by with this week’s episode on “Service”. Tom goes over what it means to serve others and how it brings meaning to life. Across his life, Tom has a history of service — from working at a fast food restaurant and then helping others in the ministry, to now helping awaken the purpose in others. I believe part of our destiny and purpose in our lives is understanding we have gifts, talents and abilities to serve others. Our value is bringing value to others. We need community because our purpose can’t be lived out by anyone else. We are all interconnected and when you are awakened to our mission, it makes every one of us rise to the next level. You make me better, and I hope I make you better. In my circle, we need to be more interested than interesting. I make my goal to hear your story and serve your purpose. That is why I do what I do through this podcast, my website, and my book. Adding value is how I serve others. This whole topic is counterintuitive to where society is because we live in a selfish world. You need to realize that you are more valuable when you help others and help them realize they have their own value. Service is less about an act and more about a mindset. The action we’re doing or the person we’re serving isn’t important. What matters is that we have the mindset to serve people. I want to build an army of people cultivating to add value in other people. But it starts with a mindset of service.
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HABITS W/JAMIL FRAZIER
02/02/2021
HABITS W/JAMIL FRAZIER
Season 5 of the Cultivation Podcast is about words to live by and this episode features guest Jamil Frazier. He and Tom discuss the meaning behind “Habits”. The author, motivational speaker, health coach and CEO shares how his habits shaped his journey. The former college athlete and pharmaceutical sales rep went from a failing marriage and unemployment to a breakthrough by getting his health back. He notes that the journey from a bad place to continuing success was shaped by forming the right habits. Habit is settled tendency or usual manner of behavior; acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly involuntary; behavior pattern acquired by repetition. Habits are neither good or bad, it’s what you’re doing with them and what their outcome is. Jamil said the most important habits to move you forward depend on what you want. Failures come when we don’t know what we want, what our goals are. He notes that our habits can be subconscious, so forming new habits requires intentional repetition based upon what we want. Tom adds that our goals should identify the habits we need to move us closer to that goal, and those we need to remove from our lives. Jamil seconded that by saying this approach is what changed his life around, and fostering healthy habits gave him freedom to pursue what he wanted for his future.
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Playing to Your Strengths
12/29/2020
Playing to Your Strengths
This episode closes out Season 4 of bonus content that couldn't fit in Tom's new book The Life You Were Meant to Lead.
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Being a Safe Space
12/22/2020
Being a Safe Space
This episode, like all of Season 4, sees Tom taking bonus content that couldn't fit in his new book The Life You Were Meant to Lead
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