Ask The Betrayed
The Ask The Betrayed podcast provides tangible hope to those in crisis and a safe place for Betrayed Partners to find healing and insight into the behaviors of the Unfaithful (who can also to learn how to help their Betrayed partners heal). We hope to fulfill a great need for betrayed partners to hear professionals who have personally experienced the deep traumatic pain of betrayal: Ask the Betrayed not only provides expert insight, it is hosted by two Betrayed Partners in long-term recovery from Betrayal Trauma, Sharon and Rae, who both specialize in helping Betrayed Partners, the Unfaithful and Couples recover from betrayal: - Sharon is a Licensed Therapist and Certified Professional Coach who is certified in betrayal trauma and, along with her husband, James Annear (@AskTheUnfaithful) - Rae is a Master Certified Life, Relationship and Divorce coach Ask the Betrayed airs every other week, alternating with it's companion channel, Ask the Unfaithful (@asktheunfaithful)
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EP 8: Feeling Stuck After Betrayal? Here's What to Do.
09/04/2025
EP 8: Feeling Stuck After Betrayal? Here's What to Do.
Feeling stuck after betrayal? You’re not alone. In this episode of Ask the Betrayed, we unpack what it really means to feel “stuck” in your healing journey—why it happens, what it looks like, and most importantly, how to move forward. We explore: ✅ The signs of being stuck (numbness, looping thoughts, discouragement, going through the motions) ✅ Why trauma can trap betrayed partners in cycles of sadness, worry, and hypervigilance ✅ Practical tools for getting unstuck, including the Feelings Body exercise, journaling prompts, body-based movement, and creative outlets ✅ How to shift from passively enduring emotions to actively using them as indicators of what needs attention ✅ The role of community, support groups, and therapy in helping you break out of isolation and reclaim your power Whether you’re early in recovery or later in the process, getting “unstuck” is possible. Healing after betrayal trauma takes awareness, action, and support—and we’ll show you practical steps you can take today. ✨ Download the "Feelings Body" diagram at www.HopeForUs.com/Downloads 👉 Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more episodes of Ask the Betrayed. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: [email protected] 📺 For more helpful content, we invite you to explore our companion show: Ask The Unfaithful (@AskTheUnfaithful on YouTube) 👇 We'd love to hear what resonated most for you - or you can ask your question for a future episode. Please press the Like button and Leave Your Comment below! 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: [email protected] ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: [email protected] ) Our Website: Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook:
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EP 7: The Superpower of Compartmentalization in Betrayal Recovery
08/21/2025
EP 7: The Superpower of Compartmentalization in Betrayal Recovery
In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore a new skill in betrayal recovery — compartmentalization. While extremely harmful to the Betrayed when used by the Unfaithful, compartmentalization can also become a powerful ally in healing when a Betrayed Partner uses it in an intentional way. You’ll discover: • The difference between healthy compartmentalization and harmful avoidance • How to use compartmentalization to regulate emotions and show up as your best self, for yourself and your relationship • Practical and powerful strategies to calm your trauma brain • How compartmentalization can protect both your well-being and your relationships after betrayal Whether you’re a betrayed partner or supporting someone through betrayal trauma, this episode offers compassionate, real-life examples and actionable tools to reclaim your mental space and emotional balance. Timestamps: 0:00 – Redefining compartmentalization 4:12 – How betrayal shapes our view of compartmentalization 9:05 – Emotional regulation tools to pair with compartmentalization 14:45 – Practical exercises to set worries aside 20:30 – Reducing relationship anxiety through mindful choices 28:10 – Compartmentalization vs. avoidance: knowing the difference 🎧 Listen now and learn how to make compartmentalization your superpower in the journey toward healing! 💬 👇 We'd love to hear what resonated most for you - or you can ask your question for a future episode. Please press the Like button and Leave Your Comment below! 👍 If this episode resonates, like and subscribe for more support on your healing journey. 🔔 Turn on notifications so you never miss an episode! 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: [email protected] 📺 For more helpful content, we invite you to explore our companion show: Ask The Unfaithful (@AskTheUnfaithful on YouTube) 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: [email protected] ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: [email protected] ) Our Website: Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook:
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EP 6: The Boundary Strategy EVERY Betrayed Partner NEEDS
08/07/2025
EP 6: The Boundary Strategy EVERY Betrayed Partner NEEDS
In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae share a powerful new approach to boundaries—one that moves beyond rules and lines in the sand. Instead of focusing on “do this, don’t do that,” this episode helps betrayed partners: ✅ Reclaim their power and choice after betrayal ✅ Create boundaries that protect and empower ✅ Learn how to respond instead of react to triggers ✅ Understand the difference between values-aligned boundaries and reactive “walls” ✅ Break free from settling for crumbs and start designing the life they truly want You’ll hear real stories, practical exercises, and the “hedge of thorns” visualization that has transformed recovery for betrayed partners everywhere. You can download the Trigger Resolution / Boundary Setting Process here: https://www.askthebetrayed.com/downloads Or go to AskTheBetrayed.com and click on the "Downloads" menu. 💬 Please leave a Comment below: Which boundary has been most life-changing for you? 👍 If this episode resonates, like and subscribe for more support on your healing journey. 🔔 Turn on notifications so you never miss an episode! 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: [email protected] 📺 For more helpful content, we invite you to explore our companion show: Ask The Unfaithful (@AskTheUnfaithful on YouTube) 👇 We'd love to hear what resonated most for you - or you can ask your question for a future episode. Please press the Like button and Leave Your Comment below! 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: [email protected] ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: [email protected]) Our Website: Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook:
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EP 5: Hidden Betrayal Trauma Triggers: How to Handle Being Blindsided
07/25/2025
EP 5: Hidden Betrayal Trauma Triggers: How to Handle Being Blindsided
In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae explore the hidden triggers that blindside betrayed partners during recovery. From weddings and social gatherings to seemingly small moments like TV shows, public spaces, and holidays—unexpected triggers can shake your sense of stability. They don’t just talk about the problems—they give you practical tools and real-life strategies to help you reclaim your power in these moments. 🔎 In This Episode, You’ll Learn: ✅ How to build your own “emotional first aid kit” for challenging events ✅ The importance of anchor statements and somatic tools ✅ How to create exit strategies for triggering environments ✅ Ways to reframe Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, anniversaries, and more ✅ Healthy ways to process anger without harming yourself or others ✅ Tips for managing common relational triggers like phones, alcohol, and public settings This conversation is packed with real stories, practical interventions, and compassionate guidance to help you stay grounded—especially when life throws the unexpected your way. 💬 In the Comments, please tell us what hidden triggers surprised you in your healing journey? 🔔 Please subscribe for new episodes 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: [email protected] 📺 For more helpful content, we invite you to explore our companion show: Ask The Unfaithful (@AskTheUnfaithful on YouTube) 👇 We'd love to hear what resonated most for you - or you can ask your question for a future episode. Please press the Like button and Leave Your Comment below! 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: [email protected] ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: [email protected] ) Our Website: Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook:
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EP 4: Betrayal Trauma: Healing the Disconnection with Yourself
07/10/2025
EP 4: Betrayal Trauma: Healing the Disconnection with Yourself
In this episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae dive into the third stage of betrayal trauma recovery: Post-Traumatic Growth - also known as the Reconnection Phase. This is the season when survivors begin shifting from survival to strength. Sharon and Rae unpack what it means to reconnect not only with others - but also with your truest self. You'll hear personal stories, insights, and practical encouragement for stepping out of safety - your "protection mode" - and into empowered living. Together, they explore: • What post-traumatic growth really looks like • How to move from "functional dissociation" to embodied living • Why reconnecting with yourself is essential (even if reconnection with your partner isn't possible) • How your personal boundaries free you to connect with yourself again • How to do this bravely and within your own values • How anniversaries can mark transformational milestones This stage is about moving forward with clarity, courage, and renewed purpose. Whether you're months or years into your healing, this conversation will inspire you to claim your voice and re-enter the story of your own life. 🔔 Please subscribe for new episodes 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: [email protected] 📺 For more helpful content, we invite you to explore our companion show: Ask The Unfaithful (@AskTheUnfaithful on YouTube) 👇 We'd love to hear what resonated most for you - or you can ask your question for a future episode. Please press the Like button and Leave Your Comment below! 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: [email protected] ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: [email protected] ) Our Website: Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook:
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EP 3: Betrayal Trauma: Navigating Grief After Infidelity
06/26/2025
EP 3: Betrayal Trauma: Navigating Grief After Infidelity
Grief after infidelity isn’t just about the loss of trust—it’s about mourning the relationship you thought you had. In this powerful episode, we explore the hidden terrain of betrayal trauma grief and mourning that betrayed partners navigate as they continue their journey toward healing and wholeness. For many betrayed partners, the emotional pain is disorienting, isolating, and often invisible to others. And for unfaithful partners, understanding their Betrayed’s grief is essential if real healing is ever going to happen. This episode will help you identify the stages of grief that follow betrayal, understand why they matter, and begin to make sense of your emotional landscape. In this episode, you’ll learn: • Why grief is a normal and necessary response to betrayal trauma • How mourning the loss of what you believed was true is part of healing • What “ambiguous grief” is and what that means for your healing • The ways unacknowledged grief can sabotage relational repair • What both partners can do to make space for grieving without getting stuck • How to begin healing in a way that honors—not bypasses—your pain 🔔 Please subscribe for new episodes 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: [email protected] 📺 For more helpful content, we invite you to explore our companion show: Ask The Unfaithful (@AskTheUnfaithful on YouTube) 👇 We'd love to hear what resonated most for you - or you can ask your question for a future episode. Please leave your comment below! 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found.
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EP 2: Betrayal Trauma Recovery: Why Safety Must Come First
06/11/2025
EP 2: Betrayal Trauma Recovery: Why Safety Must Come First
If you’ve been shattered by betrayal, you may be asking: Where do I even begin? This episode takes you to the very first step in betrayal trauma recovery—the phase of safety and stabilization. Before you can move toward forgiveness, reconciliation, or even understanding, you need something much more urgent: ground beneath your feet. In this episode, we explore what safety actually means in the context of betrayal. We talk about the importance of emotional, relational, and practical stabilization—and how this phase can’t be rushed. You’ll learn why partners often feel overwhelmed, lost, or disconnected from themselves during this stage, and how to begin reclaiming your voice and power in the midst of relational chaos. We’ll look at: • Why safety is non-negotiable for betrayed partners • What “stabilization” actually looks like (emotionally, relationally, and practically) • Why rushing the healing process leads to deeper pain • How betrayed partners can reclaim their voice and autonomy in this crucial early stage This is the groundwork. The place you return to when everything else feels like too much. Whether you’re in the middle of the chaos or just starting to understand what happened—this episode is for you. 👍 Like, Subscribe, and Leave a Comment below to share what resonated most—or ask your question for a future episode. 📬 Reach out: [email protected] 🎧 Find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found.
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EP 1: Life After Betrayal: Honest Talk with Two Experts
06/02/2025
EP 1: Life After Betrayal: Honest Talk with Two Experts
Welcome to the very first episode of Ask The Betrayed, where Sharon and Rae create a safe, honest, and deeply compassionate space for those navigating betrayal trauma. In this episode, you'll meet your hosts—Sharon, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and APSATS-certified trauma specialist, and Rae, a Certified Life, Relationship, and Divorce Recovery Coach. Together, they share their personal and professional journeys of healing after relational betrayal, and the critical need for betrayed partners to seek support that is specifically trained in betrayal trauma. You’ll hear: • Why not all therapy is created equal for betrayal trauma recovery • The role of APSATS-trained professionals • The power of speaking your truth and finding the right support • Personal insights on the early stages of healing and rediscovering yourself • Real talk on hope, grief, strength, and happiness—no matter what your relationship outcome is 💬 Quote from this episode: "The worst version of the tragedy would be if I saved my marriage and lost myself in the process." Whether you’re in a relationship working toward restoration or walking the painful path of separation, this episode is full of wisdom, hope, and validation for wherever you are in your journey. 🔔 Please subscribe for new episodes 💌 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching and therapy help including intensive with Sharon and James, please email us: [email protected] 📺 For more helpful content, we invite you to explore our companion show: Ask The Unfaithful (@AskTheUnfaithful on YouTube) 👇 We'd love to hear from you. Please leave your comment below.
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