The Head Trash + Healing Show with Alexia Leachman

Welcome to The Head Trash & Healing Show. My name is Alexia Leachman and I am the developer of Head Trash Clearance, a potent healing modality that clears triggers, traumas, conflicts and sabotage quickly and effectively so that you can achieve clarity, confidence & contentment in your life and work. My goal with this podcast is to teach you how to create some head space by helping you to unpick what's blocking you and sharing some tips and how-to's for clearing it. Tune in every week as I share simple strategies to help you to achieve confidence and clarity in your life and business. To find out how to clear your head trash quickly and effectively using Head Trash Clearance, pop over to www.clearyourheadtrash.com for more information and subscribe for head trash clearance tips and strategies, and self-healing resources

Why Trauma Therapy is Failing 03/28/2024

Healing by Accessing Unconscious Awareness, with Amanda Blau 03/21/2024

Healing by Accessing Unconscious Awareness, with Amanda Blau In this enlightening episode of 'Head Trash & Healing Show', host Alexia Leachman sits down with the profound Amanda Blau. Together, they delve into the enigmatic world of higher consciousness, human and soul perspectives, the power of acceptance and allowing oneself to feel, tracking change, and spiritual energy transchanneling. They also candidly touch on personal stories and explore the concept of past lives, bringing in a fresh and potent perspective to healing, acceptance, and power. Key Discussions: - Definition of consciousness and the exploration of Dr. David R Hawkins' "map of consciousness". - Distinction between the human and soul perspective. - The idea of learning lessons and soul contracts in life. - Embracing "darker" emotions and understanding the fear around opening up Pandora's box. - Amanda's perspective on releasing inner power and visualising to bring things into existence. - Tracking shifts in consciousness and Amanda's personal approach on the matter. - Alexia sharing her healing journey around fear of loss. - Amanda explaining acceptance and resistance in the context of personal healing. - The importance of acceptance, curiosity, and self-awareness in personal growth. - Discussion on "witch wound", particularly pertaining to women. - The concept of past lives and trauma in different lifetimes. This episode is particularly eye-opening for those struggling with recurring emotional patterns, difficulty in awareness, acceptance, and change. If you've ever felt stuck in your growth and healing journey, are battling fear of your inner power, or feel the urge to understand consciousness and its role in your life better, then this episode is a must-listen. It invites you to challenge your belief systems, feel your emotions, visualise your existence, and lean into acceptance, hence guiding you towards a more profound, empathetic, and empowered self. /episode/index/show/headtrash/id/30459938

Setting Boundaries: Overcoming People-Pleasing with Melissa Mahon 03/14/2024

The Impact of Mental and Physical Clutter Explained by Declutter Coach Susie 02/29/2024

Turning Your Quirks into Success: How to be Crazy Successful with John Williams 02/22/2024

Gen Z Anxiety with Dr Lauren Cook 02/15/2024

Celeste's Healing Journey 01/25/2024

Self-Regulation and Trauma Healing: Allen's Journey to Inner Peace 01/18/2024

Self-Regulation and Trauma Healing: Allen's Journey to Inner Peace In this week's episode of the Head Trash Healing Show, I had the absolute pleasure of diving into a rich and candid conversation with the remarkable Allen. Our focus? The fascinating and transformative journey of self-regulation. Allen, with his openness and vulnerability, shared his deeply personal experience of seeking self-regulation as a means to cope with life's adversities. We delved into his powerful four-year self-regulation journey, which began amid business closures and a challenging divorce, propelling him into a profound process of self-rebuilding. Together, we explored the concept of emotional regulation as the capacity to feel secure within oneself, enabling us to actively engage with life's complexities and choose our responses to triggers and challenges. Allen's relentless pursuit of self-regulation has unveiled a beautiful, ongoing evolution, marked by a sincere commitment to his own personal growth. The interview wove through the tapestry of Allen's daily self-care rituals and the impact of having a supportive community, especially during times of isolation. His resilience and drive determined to rewrite the narratives of his early life traumas were truly inspiring. We ventured into the intertwined threads of trauma, belief systems, and archetypes, uncovering how these elements shape our behaviors and perceptions. Allen's courageous resilience in confronting and reshaping various traumas, including ancestral and in utero trauma, illuminated the profound impact of our formative experiences. What struck a chord with me was his poignant account of isolation during a tumultuous period in his life, and how he channeled it into a profound inward journey. His insistence on "trauma hunting" and the unrelenting pursuit of inner clarity ignited a powerful sense of growth and self-understanding. I was particularly moved by Allen's approach to relationships, especially amidst personal turmoil. His commitment to understanding others' coping mechanisms, maintaining a regulated nervous system, and extending compassion reflected an incredible depth of emotional intelligence and personal integrity. The episode was topped off with Allen sharing his self-regulating practices, including meditation, engaging in substance-based ceremonies, and the use of devices like Apollo Neuro, exemplifying the significance of integrating various tools in our personal growth journeys. The conversation left me feeling deeply enriched and inspired. Allen’s honest and poignant account of personal resilience and spiritual growth is a testament to the transformative power of self-awareness, community support, and the pursuit of inner balance. I invite you to tune into the full episode and embrace Allen's wisdom as we continue on our shared journey of healing and growth. And remember, you're not alone in your pursuit of self-regulation and personal transformation. /episode/index/show/headtrash/id/29022353

How to Measure the Impact of Healing and Inner Work 10/12/2023

How to Measure the Impact of Healing and Inner Work Today we have an incredibly fascinating topic to explore - the map of consciousness - and how it can be used to measure the progress of inner work. In this episode, we'll explore how our consciousness can impact our emotions, perceptions, and problem-solving abilities. I'll also be taking a closer look at the concept of healing work, its effectiveness, and why I think it's important to measure the progress of inner work as we navigate our emotional healing journey. Join me as we explore a powerful tool that can help us track our growth, overcome fears and anxieties, and ultimately live a more content and fulfilling life. So grab a cup of tea, sit back, and get ready to delve into the intriguing world of mapping consciousness on the Head Trash Show. Have you ever questioned the effectiveness of the healing work you've been investing your time, energy, and resources into? Are you looking for a tool to help you measure your progress and gain insights into your emotional well-being? If so, this episode is a must-listen. To avoid unnecessary pain, I explain why I encourage you to take a careful assessment of whether attending personal development events or engaging in healing activities has truly benefited you. Unfortunately, 'feeling better' is not enough to evaluate the effectiveness of healing work. Instead, I think we should be measuring the impact of your healing journey on your consciousness, emotional state, perception of the world, and problem-solving abilities. This is where I think a tool like the Map of Consciousness can help us to measure the progress of inner work. This tool includes a scale ranging from 0 to 1000, which can be used to help you quantify and track your progress. To illustrate the power of this tool, I share a personal story from a particularly challenging chapter of my life, emotionally speaking. At the time, I was wrestling with anxiety, depression and overwhelming grief, and it was against this backdrop that a positive pregnancy test result sent me even deeper into despair. I didn't realise I suffered from tokophobia (extreme fear of pregnancy and birth), and that was why I was feeling the way I was. This experience forced me to step up to the healing table because I couldn't stay feeling that way. Over the next eighteen months I did a lot of inner work, that eventually paid off. So I decided to revisit this period of my life through the lens of this tool to see what I could learn. I knew that my thinking had changed - quite dramatically - but how would this be portrayed using the map of consciousness? Could I see the impact of my healing activities? Was it possible for me to measure the progress of inner work that I had done? Could the tool offer me additional insights for my healing journey? What I learned blew my mind! In understanding my level of consciousness and how it has changed, it has helped me navigate challenging situations and make shifts in my own growth. This episode is filled with practical insights and actionable steps to help you measure your progress on your healing journey. And, if you want to know where you are on the Head Trash Ladder of Healing, you can do my quiz, which will tell you whether you're a Conker, Washing Ball, Bouncy Ball, Snooker Ball or Glitter Ball. This is a valuable quiz that can help you identify where you currently are on your journey of self-discovery. /episode/index/show/headtrash/id/28278554

How to Heal a Fear of Vomit 09/14/2023

Mental Fitness 06/06/2023

Understanding Trauma with Alex Heath 11/01/2022

Why you struggle making a life change 10/19/2022

5 emotional wounds we all suffer from 09/22/2022

5 emotional wounds we all suffer from Healing your emotional wounds is essential if you're to reach your happy place, and stay there. Your emotional wounds can often be the source of your day-to-day triggers, so by healing your emotional wounds you're able to reduce the stress and anxiety you experience each day. The problem is that we're not always aware of what those wounds are. Many of the experiences that are at the root of these wounds probably happened before our conscious memory kicked in and so it can often feel like we're looking for a lost pin in the dark. Also, some of these wounds are built up over time with the repeating of similar experiences. So while one event might not stand out, it could be that we had many many experiences that followed a particular theme and over time, a wound was created. Just like if you get one scratch from your cat, it'll pass, but if your cat keeps scratching you in the same place, eventually it will get infected and be super painful. Then when it eventually stops, you'll probably get a scar #ouch If we are to think about our emotional wounds in terms of themes, it can get a bit easier for us to start to address them. Because even though we might not have strong memories of the individual events that created our emotional wounds, once we start thinking about how we've been affected by a particular theme in our life, memories start to come to the surface for us. What also helps us to heal our emotional wounds is starting with common emotional wounds that are common or universal. By starting here, we can begin to reduce the emotional load we're carrying and so make any onward journey easier. What is a universal emotional wound? There is a shortlist of emotional wounds that can be considered universal, in that they affect all of us to some degree. This is because they are experienced by us at a very young age before our we are able to fully understand what is going on. This means that simple experiences end up carrying a lot more emotional weight and impact than they should. For example, let's say a mother has to hand her new baby over to health care professionals just after the birth because she needs medical attention. In that moment, the baby is going to feel abandoned or rejected, and may also experience separation anxiety. And so the first of many wounds is in place. Of course, many of us have had situations whereby our parents or caregivers had moments when they were struggling and took it out on us as children. Being a parent I can testify to the triggering nature of kids, and it's all too easy to react in ways you'd rather not. All of our childhoods have had many of these kinds of experiences. Over time, these slowly build up to create painful emotional wounds that show up in our adult lives through our fears, emotional triggers, limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging behaviours. With this as a backdrop, it's not surprising that as adults we are the emotional walking wounded. If we don't address these wounds, then just like physical wounds, they can start to fester. So for our emotional health and well-being, we're better off trying to understand what they are. Once we know what they are we can start taking steps to heal them. Below I'm going to share with you, some of the common or universal wounds that we all have to some degree. In sharing these with you, I'm also going to share how they show up - so that you can more easily spot if you have it recommended Head Trash Clearances that you can do to start healing the wound To read what these 5 emotional wounds are head over to the blog post that accompanies this podcast at To sign up for the live trauma clearances head over to /episode/index/show/headtrash/id/24462840

Micro-dosing for mental health, Simone's story 09/15/2022

Micro-dosing for mental health, Simone's story Micro-dosing for mental health is something that has been explored for some time. The pioneer of this is the Czech-born psychologist Micro-dosing is the practice of taking or administering very small amounts of a drug in order to test or benefit from its physiological action while minimising undesirable side effects. So when it comes to micro-dosing psychedelics, this means consuming very low, sub-hallucinogenic doses of a psychedelic substance, such as lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD) or psilocybin-containing mushrooms. The idea being that you get the benefit of the substance, without the trippy side-effects. This is a trend that's been building for a while now and articles in the media are now pretty common. Like this one in the New York Times: There's even a show on Netflix about it: In this show, author Michael Pollan leads the way in this docuseries exploring the history and uses of psychedelics, including LSD, psilocybin, MDMA and mescaline. Using micro-dosing therapeutically In his latest book, How to Change Your Mind, Michael Pollan writes of his own consciousness-expanding experiments with psychedelic drugs like LSD and psilocybin, and he makes the case for why shaking up the brain's old habits could be therapeutic for people facing addiction, depression, or death. As someone who's taken psychedelics - albeit recreationally and not therapeutically - I have no doubt that they have the potential to provide therapeutic support when taken in small doses, but I was curious to hear someone's experience of this. So when a friend of mine shared a link to an article on Facebook where she was interviewed on how she had used micro-dosing to improve her mental health, I knew I wanted to talk to her about it. Here's the article: I came to know Simone when I interviewed her for my about the time she gave birth in a stream. Her YouTube video of the birth at the time had hit over 55 million views and my podcast interview with her has been one of my top episodes on that podcast. Giving birth in nature takes a special kind of fearlessness and confidence in oneself, which Simone had in bucketloads. Simone's experience of micro-dosing for mental health As an experienced therapist Simone also has extensive knowledge and experience in managing emotional and mental wellbeing, so I was particularly interested in hearing how she came to turn to micro-dosing to help with her mental health. My conversation with Simone During my conversation with Simone we discuss; what lead to her deciding to try micro-dosing what substance she took micro-doses of how she felt once she started micro-dosing how long she used micro-dosing for how she came to know that her time for micro-dosing was coming to an end Micro-dosing Resources During our conversation Simone shared some books and resources. These are listed below; Books: A Really Good Day by Ayelet Waldman How to Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan Website: www.thethirdwave.co. Recommend this for a solid, practical introduction to microdosing. Articles: Simone recommends this article because a lot has come out recently about the fact that Drs/Psychiatrists/Scientists don’t really know how anti-depressants work. Likewise, despite decades of research into psychedelics, we still don’t know exactly how psychedelics work either. She thinks it’s wise to be cautious and proceed carefully, but not to have fear about using psychedelics. https://psychedelicspotlight.com/the-truth-about-depression-serotonin-ssris-and-psychedelics/ Shows: Fantastic Fungi on Netflix How to Change Your Mind on Netflix Here's some research I came across: Psychedelic microdosing benefits and challenges: an empirical codebook https://harmreductionjournal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12954-019-0308-4 About Simone Simone Surgeoner is a therapist and mentor who has helped thousands of people find their own authentic path in life. She enjoys nothing more than exploring the depths of what it means to be human. Using herself as her own guinea pig, Simone demonstrates beingness as arising from integrity with one’s essence. Helping people find their inner truth, through their own direct experience, is the core of Simone’s work. As a mother of four daughters, currently unschooling her younger two, Simone is passionate about the liberation of all humans. Psychedelic integration and support is one of the areas where Simone supports clients, as she continues to help people at all stages of healing and evolution: sexuality, relationships, trauma, pregnancy & birth, children, hormones, health, business & career to grief and dying. Website: /episode/index/show/headtrash/id/24360411

Balancing your inner feminine and masculine 09/07/2022

Balancing your inner feminine and masculine Your inner masculine and feminine Do you think your inner masculine and feminine energies are in balance? Does this question even make sense to you? I ask that because I’ve had some conversations with people when they’ve looked a bit puzzled when asked. They simply didn’t understand the question. The idea of having inner masculine and feminine energies was a total mystery to them. While I’ve been aware of these differing energies for a while, it’s only really in the last three years or so that I’ve been taking a closer look at them personally. A few weeks ago I shared some learnings I had around balancing my inner masculine and feminine which you can read here: I had realised how much I had been denying my inner feminine during my life, and how I’d dialled up my inner masculine to compensate. This came with costs that are really now only clear to me now that I’ve brought about more balance. Balancing your inner masculine and feminine I don’t feel for a minute that both my masculine and feminine energies are totally within balance. But now I’m a lot more savvy as to why it’s important for them to be in balance, and how to go about bringing our feminine and masculine energies into balance. But, I don’t feel savvy enough about this to be able to speak with authority on it. All that I know is that it’s important to restore balance, as with all aspects of life. What I really needed was someone else who IS totally savvy to break all this down for me, and you! This is where my conversation with Zoe-Anna comes in. When I was seeking out more information on balancing our inner masculine and inner feminine, I came across one of Zoe-Anna’s articles and I thought “THIS is the person I need to speak to!”. I was thrilled when she replied right back with a YES! Zoe-Anna does not disappoint. During our chat we explore; What are our masculine and feminine energies What does being in balance look like How do we know when we’re out of balance; tell tale signs What do each of these energies do for us What is toxic masculinity or toxic femininity is and how it shows up /episode/index/show/headtrash/id/24303486

Healing from Trauma 07/20/2022

Does your anxiety come from your time in utero? 07/12/2022

Does your anxiety come from your time in utero? I recently stumbled on a past trauma that proved to be the key to a lot of the things I've wrestled with as an adult. As someone who hunts down head trash - especially my own - this is a HUGE win for me. When something isn't shifting, I dig and dig until I can figure it out and get rid of it. I had some personal stuff that just wasn't shifting and I needed to figure out why. Trauma feeds fear and anxiety I figured there must be a traumatic experience feeding it. Trauma does that, it's feeder of fear and anxiety. In my experience, if fear or anxiety isn't shifting easily then there's a trauma keeping it in place or making it worse. Sometimes, we don't even have a conscious recollection of the experience. This was the case for me. I had no conscious memory of the trauma I was about to clear. Clearing traumas of things we can't even remember To get around this, before clearing the trauma, I placed my intention on clearing whatever it was that was feeding the anxiety I wanted to address. What followed was a brutal hour of clearance work. Tears, snot and more tears. It just kept coming. By the end of it I was spent. Spent, but alive and vibrant! And light... god how I felt light! It proved to be one of the most significant clearances I have ever done. The traumatic event I worked on proved to be The Key to a huge number of the patterns that were running me. Emotional patterns that were sabotaging me and holding me back. It was also the the root event of my eczema, which had recently come back with a vengeance like I have never known. Once I was done, I wanted to know what the event was. I was curious. So, what WAS this event?? What the hell was it that had embedded so much crap for me? So I asked how old I was to try and figure it out. Childhood trauma is usually the culprit, so I started there. Was I under 5? Yes. Was I under 4? Yes. I got a hunch. Was I in utero? Yes. I was in utero! And then I knew EXACTLY what it was. When my mother was pregnant with me she was worried about losing her job if they found out. So she tried to keep me a secret from her employers in case they found out and fired her. Talk about stressful! Apparently her bump was really small and you could hardly tell she was pregnant. I arrived early. I can only imagine the thoughts she would have been having; I've got to hide this. I must keep this a secret. I want my bump to be small. My baby can't be visible. If I get found out, I'll lose my job. She was the breadwinner, so this would have been a big deal. Being found out meant loss of security. Oh hello Lex's head trash! The root of my problem patterns! This is all the shit I've been wrestling with FOR AGES that wasn't budging. Some of it is only obvious to me now that I understand and can see where it came from. I had lightbulbs going off all over the place! I'm totally fine being visible, thinking big and doing things that make me stand out. That bit is ME: Lex. And yet, I've not been able to sustain it or go ALL IN with it. I was getting pulled back into hiding and playing small. That bit was HER. I was running my mother's pregnancy fears and making them my own. No wonder I was struggling with this stuff. Your time in the womb matters As part of my work in birth and pregnancy, I know that the in-utero experience is a precious one, and one to be protected and nurtured. When I interviewed the father of prenatal psychology, Thomas Verny, on my podcast he talked about all this. It's a fascinating chat and worth listening to if this stuff interests you. There's a lot of evidence that supports this so I'm not being all woo here. The in-utero experience and the birth create emotional imprints in the baby that they will carry though into adulthood. Anna Verwal also talks a lot about this. This is why I'm so vocal about wanting expectant mothers to clear their fear, stress and anxiety while they're pregnant. It matters. Not only does it help them to have a better birth experience - which is a bloody good reason on its own - but it's also good for the baby and its future adult self. I expand on all this in my book, . If they're not positive emotional patterns, then these imprints can be the root cause of anxiety and phobias as adults. I see this time and time again in my work helping women overcome tokophobia (extreme fear of birth). Some people have accused me of fear-mongering or making women feel guilty for their thoughts and feelings during pregnancy. Pregnancy is already such a challenging time for some, physically, mentally and emotionally. The last thing they want is the guilt that comes from thinking that their negative thoughts are damaging in some way. I'm afraid I can't do anything about that. That we know already. It's already happening. Surely, it's best for women to know this so that they can do something about it. I'm simply the messenger. Being well-informed is crucial People can choose whether they do anything about it or not. But being informed is crucial in making that decision. We know that eating meat, fatty foods, drinking alcohol and smoking is bad. And yet people still do it. That's their choice. Perhaps they feel guilty with every cigarette or burger. Perhaps they don't. It doesn't mean we're going to keep quiet about it just in case some people feel guilty. The same goes for this. Women NEED to know about this. Whether we like it or not, our bodies and minds are potent creators of future generations. Perhaps the mental health crisis we're seeing today has its roots in crappy pregnancies and births of the past. It would make sense. Intellectually I knew the importance of the in-utero experience from my work in pregnancy and birth. But now I truly KNOW. I would urge all pregnant women to keep diaries of how they're feeling throughout their pregnancy. It could be the best gift to your child on their 18th birthday as they wrestle with figuring out who they are. It would probably save a ton of time in therapy too. A lot of our focus as parents is in providing for our children - schooling, opportunity etc - but perhaps we ned to shift the focus to mental health. As expectant parents, what can we do, to support the future mental health of our children. Because isn't that what will help them to survive best? Emotionally resilient and happy people usually do pretty well, no matter what. /episode/index/show/headtrash/id/23719007

Not all public speaking fears are equal 07/04/2022

Not all public speaking fears are equal Not all public speaking or presenting is equal, at least when it comes to how we feel about it. Presenting and public speaking sit nicely at the top of any list about fears and anxiety. Thank you primal brain for that! But not all presenting or public speaking is equal in terms of its potential to make us nervous, fearful or anxious. And, this is different for everyone. Speaking in front of a large audience of people you don’t know probably sits at the top of the scary pile for most people. This goes back to our primal brain and how we used to live, and survive. Back in the caveman days, if we could look out and see lots of eyes on us, then it was probably because we were being eyed up for dinner. Bad situation. Life or death situation! In this situation, our fear and anxiety was pretty useful and helped us to survive. Today, when we have eyes on us it’s usually because the eyes belong to people who are interested in what we have to say or what we’re doing (at least we hope they are!). In situations like this, the fear and anxiety that is wired in is less helpful, so it can be useful to get rid of it. How to lose the fear and anxiety around public speaking To lose the fear or anxiety you might have around public speaking and presenting, it’s useful to dig deeper. This is because it can give us clues as to what is at the root of your fear or anxiety. This is especially so, if you want to use Head Trash Clearance to get rid of your fears and anxiety. To use Head Trash Clearance effectively, we need a list. A nice list of things to clear. And we’re only going to be able to get that if we dig and unravel what’s going on. So let’s get to it! The different aspects of public speaking fear The first thing we need to explore is the idea that not all public speaking and presenting scenarios are the same. Once we recognise this we can start to get to the bottom of it. Consider these different situations; Speaking to a small group of your peers at work. (e.g. your team) Presenting to people more senior than you (e.g. the management team, the board or the company investors) Speaking in front of a small group of people you don’t know at work (e.g. clients, suppliers or other departments) Presenting to a large group of people who know you (e.g. the whole company or your division) Doing a presentation in front of a large group of people who DON’T know you (e.g. a visiting subsidiary or at a conference) Do you feel the same approaching all of these scenarios? Probably not. It’s quite possible that some of these won’t present a problem for you, whereas others will. Maybe you’re fine speaking in front of people you don’t know, it’s speaking in front of people you DO know that’s the problem. Perhaps you worry about what those people will think of you. Or maybe you struggle with authority and are easily intimidated when having to communicate to those who you perceive to hold more power or authority than you. This could make you nervous and anxious and stop you thinking straight or doing a good job. Or perhaps you are fine speaking to small groups, it’s the large groups that make you nervous. Different presenting situations trigger different fears You see, behind all of these different scenarios, there are different fears and anxieties. it’s less about the speaking per se, and more about what these situations bring up for the person doing the speaking. These different situations could bring up any of the following; fear of looking or sounding silly or foolish saying the wrong thing messing up people thinking less of them not being taken seriously appearing stupid or like an idiot fear of being fired or demoted for doing a bad job (messing up, saying the wrong thing) fear of missing out on a promotion for not doing a good enough job fear of appearing a fraud not being expert or knowledgable enough But this is not all that you need to consider if you want to get rid of your fears around public speaking and presenting. We need to take this one step further to get a fuller picture. The nature of the presenting job It’s important to consider the difference in the nature of the presenting job itself. There are two main options you face when it comes to presenting or public speaking; 1. You’ve prepared something specific to share In this situation you have something that you’ve prepared in advance that you’re going to talk through. Perhaps something like: specific internal presentation – monthly team update keynote presentation at a conference pitch to potential investors sales presentation to potential customers In these situations, you have time to prepare and run through what you want to say. The main challenge you have is ensuring that you remember to cover all the points you want to cover and that you stick to the timings. Of course there’s a bit more to it than that, but you get my point. It’s quite a different situation to the next one; 2. You’re speaking, but it’s unscripted or ‘on the fly’ This is when you’re attending an event or meeting, but where you’re not there to present something that’s been prepared in advance. You could be hosting a conference or panel. Or perhaps you’re attending a monthly team meeting and will need to present or speak in response to what else is shared or discussed during the meeting. Or maybe you’re an audience member at an event and want to contribute to the Q&As or you have questions for the panel or speaker. In these situations, it’s much harder to prepare and there’s so much more that could go wrong (in your mind at least). All of this means that there are ten potential different presenting and public speaking scenarios that you could be facing. Each of these scenarios will bring up slightly different fears and emotional responses in you. These emotional responses could be so great that you’re not able to practically prepare for what you’re facing. This is very common. When your fear or anxiety gets in the way of you preparing Let’s say you have a presentation coming up. Every time you think about it you feel the anxiety rising. It’s enough to keep you up at night. This makes it very hard for you to sit down and prepare for the presentation. Your preparation might involve things like writing the presentation working with colleagues to get their support and help practical planning of the event rehearsing the presentation Sometimes our fear and anxiety holds us back from even taking the first step. This can lead to last minute preparations which will exacerbate the fear and anxiety. It could also means that your’e more likely to mess up and say the wrong thing, thereby fulfilling your fears. How clearing your fears in advance can help By taking time in advance to unravel what’s going on, you’re much better placed to do the emotional clearance work, that will help you to prepare for the presenting or public speaking task you’re facing. Then you can look forward to your event or meeting with confidence, knowing that you’re putting your best foot forward and you’ve done the best you can. In these situations, it’s much harder to put a foot wrong. And your confident energy will transform your performance and carry you through any little mistakes that come up. /episode/index/show/headtrash/id/20742419

Abandonment Trauma 06/22/2022

Abandonment Trauma If you've been following my adventures in trauma clearance, you'll know that I'm feeling very called to clear my traumas at the moment. If you missed it, I dive into that in my blog: . One theme of emotional pain that has come up a lot for me in my life is around abandonment and rejection so this has been on y Healing-To-Do-List for a while. That's not to say I haven't tried to heal this pain in me because i have. But I know that I'm not fully healed of it. There's clearly more to do. So now that I've diving into traumas, this is an obvious one for me to address. As I've been prepping myself mentally to clear the traumas I'm carrying around abandonment, I've been giving it a lot of thought. I think it's important to be super clear what abandonment really means. What do we mean by abandonment, and feeling abandoned? When we carry hurt around abandonment, we often feel like we've rejected, dumped or left behind, and that this has been done to us deliberately or consciously. Perhaps there are some situations where that is the case. But, I bet many of those times that's not the case. More often than not, the abandonment is an emotional feeling rather than an actual state of being. Of course, it can be both, but I'm interested in the feeling aspect here. If you got lost in the supermarket or park as a child, you might have felt abandoned in that moment. But, I bet your parents didn't actually abandon you. They were probably desperately looking for you. But in that moment, the child in you FELT abandoned. Very different from the time your mates thought it would be funny to leave you in nothing but your underwear in the middle of town after a drinking session. My parents divorced when I was four, so I don't have to look much further to figure out where some of my abandonment issues come from. I remember thinking as a child that I thought it was my fault my dad left us, even though my mum assured me that wasn't the case. But that's how I felt and as far as my emotional self was concerned, that's all that mattered. As with most divorces, the parents don't separate because of one of the kids. It's their relationship that's broken down. And, when they eventually part ways, it's unlikely that the parent who leaves the family home is abandoning the children in a deliberate fashion. They might be desperate to stay. But things just aren't workable and it breaks their heart to leave. No matter how the leaving parent feels, the kids will most likely FEEL abandoned by them. Their sheer absence will do that. I think it's important to get clear on this stuff because we sometimes start throwing some blame into the mix which just adds emotional weight to our abandonment. This doesn't help things at all and can make it all much more painful, and therefore more difficult to face and resolve. Abandonment is not always inflicted deliberately Let's take my mum for example. Years ago, when I did the Hoffman Process, I prepared myself for the slew of Daddy Issues that would come up from the divorce situation. What I was not prepared for were the Mummy Issues I had, and a lot of those came from her abandoning me by dying suddenly to cancer when I was 30. Now, I'm pretty sure she didn't die deliberately to abandon me. But the fact is I had abandonment pain that I felt as a result of her dying so early in my life. Being 30 without a mum is a tough gig. Being a mum without a mother is even more so... as I would later discover. The family pattern of abandonment The more I thought about abandonment, the more I realised how strong this theme has been experienced by my family and predecessors. My grandmother was abandoned by her community when she fell pregnant out of wedlock. My mum was abandoned by her mum when she was put into an orphanage during WW2 for her safety, to be retrieved once the war was over. My mum was later abandoned by my dad which led to their divorce. My dad's parents divorced when he was young, so he was abandoned by a parent too. Then me. I was abandoned by my dad as part of my parents' divorce, and later by my mum when she died when I was 30. This was a pattern I was carrying inside me. It's in my DNA. The memories of abandonment are in my cells. Time to expand the scope of the trauma clearance As I fully took all this on board, I realised that my approach to clearing my trauma this time around needed to be different to how I'd done it before. I needed to cast the net wider than my own life and my life in utero. I also needed to deal with these cellular memories of trauma. So that meant including ancestral trauma that I've acquired from previous generations. And while I was at it, I might as well throw past life trauma in there too! Phew! How many traumatic experiences was I carrying? Now as I'm a numbers person, I was curious as how many of these traumas I was carrying around. You want to know? I bet you do! Current life: 121 In utero: 5 Past life traumas: 11,800 ish! Ancestral traumas: 15,200 ish! Whoa! That's a lotta shit to be carrying around. I'm carrying over 27,000 traumatic experiences around the theme of abandonment, and being left out or left behind. Correction. I WAS carrying! Yup. So I did the clearance. And, as predicted, by the time I finished I was surrounded by a mountain of snotty tissues. Clearing the traumas was a snotty experience I thought I would sob emotional tears for this one as it touched on themes and experiences that I had clear memories of. But it didn't, just tears of release. And snot. A LOT OF SNOT! If felt good to snot all that shit out. And by the end I was spent and headed to bed for an early night. My subconscious had a lot of processing to do. Then the MAGIC showed up... And the next day the magic showed up. The further I go along path of deeper healing, the more magical moments I experience. Magic is pretty much a daily experience for me now. But I get proper tingly excited when something happens that is DIRECTLY related to the theme of the clearance I've recently done. For me it's a sign that the energy has truly shifted and I've healed. Well, sure enough, the next day it happened. I was INVITED to be part of something new that's very exciting. Something BIG! I was SOUGHT OUT. I was CHOSEN because of who I am. I was PICKED OUT for it. However, I express that idea, one thing is clear: it's the OPPOSITE of BEING ABANDONED and LEFT BEHIND. It's what my toxic emotional energy was blocking from me. Now that the energy is clear, these things are more freely available to me now. They can flow to me, where before I was resisting, repelling even. Our unresolved trauma keeps us stuck Our unresolved traumas are keeping us stuck in the very places we desperately want to leave. It's time to let these fuckers go. For good. Then the things you truly desire can come into your life. /episode/index/show/headtrash/id/23494391

Dr Thomas Verny, The Embodied Mind - Interview 06/15/2022

Yetis & Trauma: 2 things they have in common 06/08/2022

Yetis & Trauma: 2 things they have in common I’m feeling very called to get back to work on clearing trauma at the moment. A few months ago I went all in with it when I was really ill. My mind had pretty much shut down and healing was my sole focus as I kicked off a physical healing protocol, but it would need time; I needed to detox The Thing that was making me ill, and then my body needed to heal from The Thing. I wasn’t good for much while this was happening so I thought I’d double-down and support my physical healing with emotional healing. Why not clear some more of my shit? There was a lot of crap going on for me on all levels so this seemed like a good idea. I’d been dabbling with trauma clearance just before I was ill, so I decided go all-in and hunt down more of my unresolved traumas. Why traumas are like yetis I found that hunting down my unresolved traumas is like hunting down the Yeti. You only know they’re there by the shit and footprints they leave behind. Well I had the brown stuff in bucket loads, and I could see the footprints in my triggers, self-sabotaging habits and inner conflicts, so I knew it was lurking. But when I delved into the various life aspects I was struggling with, the truth was I didn’t actually know if I had indeed experienced a trauma around this particular theme in my life. And, if I had, what that experience might have been. When I’m working with women on their pregnancy and birth phobias, most of the them have experienced trauma from their own birth experience (as I did). Even though most can’t remember their birth experience, having your own birth as a thing in the mind to focus on is helpful. But when you have no idea WHETHER there is a traumatic experience in there, and WHAT the experience is … well, that’s just tricksy! I figured it must be there because of the footprints and the crap but I just couldn’t put my finger on what it was. It felt nebulous and shifty – like it was trying to escape or avoid detection (fears are very good at doing this). This meant I needed to cast a super huge net to catch the bastards. Getting creative with clearing my traumas Pretty much straightaway, I found I needed to leave the safe shores of the trauma clearance methods I knew and I needed to make shit up. Or, as I prefer to call it; follow my intuitive guidance. So I decided to crack on making a few assumptions; Yes. Trauma was the culprit of my various head trashy nightmares There’s probably more than one of these ‘traumatic’ events that I might have experienced in my life around each theme I probably have no recollection of most of these events or experiences Some of these might have happened while I was in utero Now, because I’m a curious, businessy numbers person I was interested in HOW MANY traumas I was dealing with here. How many unresolved traumas did I have, EXACTLY? I found that I had anything up to 100+ experiences that my emotional system had deemed ‘traumatic’ that I was carrying around with me related to any particular theme. Here are some numbers; Lack of self belief 10 Feelings of insecurity 8 Taking action 18 Inaction & procrastination 94 So taking action was traumatic.. as was NOT taking action! No wonder I was struggling and going around in circles. Tug of war aside, these numbers blew my mind… … until I stopped to think about it and then realised they make perfect sense. Our lives are packed with experiences, some of which are traumatic We’ve had LOADS of life experiences. And a fair few of them will have left an emotional trace and made us stop and think about how we might behave differently next time… especially to avoid The Shitty Thing happening again. And so a destructive or self-sabotaging pattern gets embedded. These numbers were also crushing. Up until this point I had been clearing my traumas one-by-one. I was NEVER going to get this shit cleared if I had to clear each of these bloody traumas one-by-one! Until I spoke to a very Wise and Wonderful friend who highlighted the bleedin’ obvious – why don’t you clear ALL of them at once? Can I do that??? Apparently no permission is required. You can do what you bloody want. So I tried. And it turns out I can! You can clear more than one trauma at once Oh lordy! It reminded me of the time when we were renovating our Victorian house in the UK and we finally got a wallpaper stripper. Suddenly I needed to strip ALL the walls, RIGHT NOW! Most sensible people do a room at a time. Not me! ALL. THE. ROOMS! Well, if you take this same approach to your trauma clearance, then your emotional system is going to look a bit like my walls did. Like a bomb’s hit it. Yep! Taking this approach kicked off the Mother of all healing crises. Not only was my body trying to heal from The Toxic Thing, but now my emotional system was healing from The Great Trauma Purge (my very own Great Reset). For about a week afterwards I slept 16 hours a day and ate like a gannet. But oh my goodness. When I eventually emerged I felt different. I felt lighter and more at peace. I feel like I have more trust in myself. The urgent gotta-do-it-all-right-now energy had evaporated. Replaced by more patience, slow-ness and present-ness. The part of me that always made me want to BE MORE because I wasn’t ENOUGH… feels almost gone. I give less of a shit about stuff than before. I thought I was pretty good on that front, but now I’m much more like some of my zero-fucks-to-give friends. I’ve had a break now and I’m already feeling the call to jump back in. Next on my list are the traumas at the root of my dog allergies and eczema (the kids want a dog!). As well as my abandonment traumas – of which I have 121!!! So if I disappear again, you know why. /episode/index/show/headtrash/id/23350550

The dangers of playing hide and seek 06/01/2022

The dangers of playing hide and seek Did you ever play hide and seek as a kid? I bet it's a YES. Please don't say no... because that would be a little bit sad. If you did - and you did, right? - then your hide and seek shenanigans could be responsible for some head trashy challenges you might be experiencing as an adult. My kids LOVE playing hide and seek and I'm pretty sure it's something we've all played as kids. I sometimes join in and my favourite time was when my daughter and I hid under the blankets that cover the sofa in our lounge and my other half totally missed us. Like, how did he not notice the huge lumps under the blanket?? TOP HIDE AND SEEK TIP: Hide in plain site. But I'm afraid I bring bad news; all is not fine and dandy in the world of hide and seek. Playing hide and seek could be bad for your health Hide and seek could actually be bad for your mental and emotional health. Shocker, right? Recently I've started to realise that it might not be the innocent and fun game we imagine it to be. I know this because games of hide and seek are coming up quite a bit during my client sessions. And, no, I don't PLAY hide and seek with my clients! 😂 When you're clearing head trash around something, you are often reminded of memories and experiences that relate to whatever it is that you're clearing. Some of these memories could come from way back, and you might not have even thought about them until now in the midst of a clearance. This often suggests that they could be responsible for planting the roots of the head trash in the first place (not always, but if it's a memory of you as a kid, then it's pretty likely). This means that games of hide and seek could well be the unlikely culprit that's responsible for some pretty specific head trash that many people are wrestling with today. It's pretty obvious when you think about it. But let's see if you can figure it out... Not all games of hide and seek though! Let me just be clear about this.... the dangers I'm referring to don't come from ALL hide and seek games. I'm talking about the times when you hid - let say in a box or a laundry basket - and then no-one came to find you. So you were left trapped in a box or cupboard wondering if anyone was going to find you. At first you'll be sitting there smiling smugly at your wonderful hiding place thinking things like; I must stay hidden and not be seen ... because those are the rules of the game, and I've got to stick to the rules. I don't want to be discovered ... because I want to win the game. The quieter I am the better ... because then I won't be found out. I must make myself as small as possible ... because then it's easier to hide. What does playing hide and seek teach us? Let's pause a moment to explore some of the powerful lessons that hide and seek teaches us: Winning = being really well hidden Winning = not being discovered Winning = being quiet Hmmm.... Are these really lessons that we want to be teaching our kids? And, you starting to get a sense of the head trash that I'm referring to? Now, let's say quite a bit of time has passed and no-one has come to find you. Perhaps your older brother or sister has decided to play a joke on you and leave you in the laundry basket.... ha ha hilarious! But it's not really, not for you. The longer you're left there waiting, the more you're going to be thinking things like ... "If I come out, I'll be breaking the rules. And I might lose. "How come no-one has come to find me? "Have I been forgotten? "Perhaps they've abandoned me. "They don't care about me." "I don't matter." "I"m not worth bothering with." "I'm not worth it" Now you're going be conflicted. Hide and seek creates inner conflicts You really want to win, but, if you break the rules then you're definitely not going to win, so you wait. You might be tempted to break the rules and come out of your hiding place to see what's going on, but, you've been told that breaking the rules is bad. You want to peek your head out even just a bit, but, you might be seen and then you'll definitely lose so you decide not to. Oh the conflicts! But you REALLY want to win.... which, let's face it, ALL kids want to win at EVERYTHING! Whether they're getting the biscuit tin out of the kitchen cupboard, racing back to the car in the supermarket car park, or playing hide and seek. Now remember, this is the child version of you interpreting all this. The memories could be of you aged anywhere between 2 and 10 years old so your capacity for navigating conflicts and rules is still being figured out. You experience situations very differently than if you were faced with the same situation as an adult. But one thing is sure: this is all a VERY BIG DEAL for you. And you're taking your game of hide and seek very seriously indeed. Childhood experiences can be defining ... When we have events that are accompanied by strong or high level of emotions, these events are often imprinted within us. They might turn out to be significant or defining moments for us. But not in a "oh that day I won the Nobel prize" kind of defining. More like "I'll never forget the day my brother left me in the laundry basket for hours and I feel asleep" kind of defining. The intense emotion experienced will leave a trace, either because of a strong impact or simply if the emotion was trapped. These are events are like mini traumas which means they can feed things like anxiety or fear as long as they are still in place. Getting awareness of them - and then clearing them - is a great way to let these events go, and reduce their hold on you. ... but also the source of head trash If you have clear childhood memories about certain events that have a slightly negative tinge, the chances are that those events could be the source of some adult head trash that you're wrestling with today. There's a kicker though: there are probably tons of events you experienced as a child that you no longer remember, that are also doing the same thing. You are probably wrestling with stuff today, that was imprinted as a child, and you have NO IDEA! Anyway, back to the dangers of hide and seek... What head trash does hide and seek create? As I said earlier, games of hide and seek have been coming up a lot during client sessions recently. But what makes this very interesting is that they're coming up when I've been helping my clients address something very specific. Have you figured it out yet? Visibility. The clients were all women who wanted to be more visible and 'seen'. They wanted to speak up and be heard. Now, let's just let that sink in for a moment. Hide and Seek teaches us to HIDE and STAY HIDDEN All of these women were struggling with being seen and speaking up. All of them recalled times when they played hide and seek as a child during the clearance work. But these weren't pleasant hide and seek memories. They were times when they had been left in their hiding place, either because they'd been forgotten, or a sibling had played a joke on them. A strong desire to be hidden and quiet had embedded itself and created a life-long pattern of struggle. The conflicts created by playing hide and seek The conflicts I mentioned earlier will be running patterns of behaviour silently in the background sabotaging them whenever any instance of being heard or seen confronts them. Being quiet or hidden = winning ... which means that being heard or seen = losing Sticking to the rules and being compliant = being a good girl ... which means that breaking the rules = being a naughty girl This means that whenever any instance of being heard or seen confronts them, they will subconsciously choose to do The Thing that will enable them to achieve the thing they value the most; Winning [achievement, success] Being a good girl [peace, harmony, approval, avoidance of conflict] Playing by the rules [being helpful, being accommodating, being compliant, avoiding conflict] These conflicts are familiar territory for many women who suffer with the toxic side effects of kindness and 'being nice'. And who knows, perhaps playing hide and seek as kid is to blame. Healing the conflicts can stop the patterns of struggle Wherever these conflicts have come from - because hide and seek is not the only culprit in town - the important thing is to heal these conflicts so that we can stop running these unhelpful patterns of self-sabotage. Thankfully this is easy to do using Head Trash Clearance. Your Head Trash Clearance To-Do List Once you have got hold of the Head Trash Clearance method, here are some suggested items to add to your clearance list; Being seen or visible Being hidden Being loud Being quiet Being small Winning Losing There could be additional conflicts getting in the way of your visibility and ability to speak up but these would be a good start. Especially if you played a lot of hide and seek as a kid! /episode/index/show/headtrash/id/20741852

Business, motherhood and mental health 05/24/2022

Clearing self-sabotage; what it looks like 08/04/2021

Clearing self-sabotage; what it looks like Today I want to share with you what clearing self-sabotage looks like. Like EXACTLY. I'm going to share with you an example of someone I worked with so that you can better understand how we self-sabotage. And perhaps this will help you with your own self-sabotaging ways. Self-sabotage is something we can all relate to. Personally, I'm an expert. An expert self-sabotager, but also an expert and getting rid of it (thank God!). The thing is, it's much easier to clear in others than in yourself. This sucks for me, but it's great for the people who come to me for help. This one of the reasons is why I'm looking for people to train in my methods. At least then someone can work with ME on my self-sabotage! (if you're a coach and would like to find out more, get in touch) Self-sabotage Clearance I've developed a clearance process for getting rid of self-sabotage which means that it's possible to get rid of all the sources of sub-conscious self-sabotage really easily (and quickly). No positive thinking. No affirmations. No meditation. No manifesting. No journalling. No need to chat with supportive friends. No banging your head against a brick wall. Just clearance. I've talked about this self-sabotage clearance process before. Somewhere along the way I shared how many typical sources of self-sabotage I come across; it's usually around 25-35. Yes you read that right. For any goal that you are pursuing, there are probably around 25-35 separate blocks that are standing between you and your goal. You have conscious and sub-conscious blocks Some of these are conscious. In other words, you are aware of them and would be able to think of them if I asked you. But many of these aren't; they're sub-conscious. This means that not only can you not think of them (and therefore identify them), but it also means that you won't be able to eliminate them. How can you get rid of something that you don't know exists? When I work with people to clear their self-sabotage, we clear ALL of these blocks: the conscious ones and the subconscious ones. And we could be clearing up to 35 separate blocks. Of course it could be more, or it could be less. But this is the typical number that I come across. The exact number will depend on all sorts of factors; how much head trash you have how much inner work you've done how self-aware you are whether the goal is stretching your comfort zone or not whether this goal intersects with some big personal head trash themes for you For example, let's say you have money mindset issues and challenges around self-worth. Now perhaps your goal is around putting your prices up for a program or service you want to sell. If this is you then a lot of your blocks will be related to the money mindset and self-worth head trash you already have. Whereas if you don't have money mindset issues then launching something with increased prices will probably have less sabotage around it. This is why if you've done inner work (and have relatively high levels of self-awareness), the number of individual sabotaging blocks will be less. But they will still be present. Anyway, since i've been sharing the humber of likely block you might be facing around your goals, people have been messaging me because they're curious. The questions I get are mostly these; "What kind of blocks?" "How can we have 35 blocks on ONE goal? 35, really?????" To help peeps get their head around this I figured it might be useful if I shared some examples. One example of clearing self-sabotage So, I thought I'd share an example of someone I worked with on a particular goal. That way you can find out for yourself what these blocks can look like and maybe this will help you to identify them for yourself. Self-awareness is an important first step. Clearance is the next one for sure (especially if you want to get rid of these blocks quickly) but conscious awareness enables you to start dealing with things. And that's what I hope I can help you with by sharing this example with you. A business owner's goal to launch a new training program The example I'm going to share with you on this podcast is someone who is launching a new training program in her business and it's part of an important pivot for her business as she moves away from face-to face interactions and in-person events to providing training (online and in-person) and building a network of practitioners worldwide. During this podcast I share each of the blocks that came up and that we cleared the bigger head trash themes that came up for her that she wasn't aware were sabotaging this goal how long we took to clear them all things that you can look out for in terms of your own self-sabotage I hope you find this useful, and if you're struggling with self-sabotage and it's seriously getting in your way, then let me invite you to get in touch. /episode/index/show/headtrash/id/20030969

Planning conflicts and head trash 07/16/2021

Planning conflicts and head trash I thought I loved planning. But it was all a lie! I’ve done a lot of planning and I think I’m pretty good at all sorts of planning shenanigans. From road trips across foreign lands and island-hopping holidays to secret birthday parties and complex international product launches. In corporate I used to do high level business planing all the time. As a business coach and consultant people have hired me just to do their business planning. This usually meant doing the business or marketing plan for their management team, or the banks and investors. Earlier this year I did loads of business planning for my own business as part of my discussions and negotiations with potential investors. So yes me and planning are old buds. Well, I thought we were, but apparently not. If I loved planning, why was I doing this? I’d recently become aware that the plans I’d been making for my own business.. well I noticed that I wasn’t sticking to them. I’d spend time creating and refining them. And then ignore them. What on earth was that about? Plans are great. I KNOW how important they can be. What was I playing at? But this was Miss Sensible speaking. Little Miss Rebel had other ideas and it seems she’d been winning. What was my problem with planning? Why was I not sticking to my own plans? I wanted to, because other wise why would I go to the trouble of creating them. There was a conflict somewhere and I needed to get to the bottom of it. I was conflicted about planning Now that I had this awareness I knew that I needed to clear my head trash around planning stuff. So I cracked on with my clearance. And as always happens when I do Head Trash Clearance, I started getting clarity and things started making sense to me. Then I got the ahaa moment …. and it made me laugh out loud! There was part of me that hates plans because they’re telling me what to do. And I have a real big issue with being told what to do! Especially by me it seems! What kind of crazy self sabotage is that? Conflicts sabotage your efforts Conflicts like this are very common and they are a huge cause of self-sabotage. You can like something, or want more of it in your life and, at the same time there’s a part of you that doesn’t want it. The thing is, we’re not always aware of this conflict. But, until we can resolve it, we’re not going to be able to fully do the thing we want, or get the thing we want more of. This is because there’s always going to be a part of us that is blocking us. For me, this meant that I could crack on with creating the plans, but I couldn’t follow through on them because on some level I was resisting the plans. The Clearance process enabled me to get the insight as to WHY there was a part of me that didn’t like planning. Once I could untie these two aspects, I would be free to fully embrace planning in all its glory… should I so wish! So my next obvious clearance would be to clear ‘being told what to do’. Once that clearance is done the conflict that is in play around planning would be resolved. How else does ‘planning’ head trash show up? When I shared my planning clearance on Facebook, one of my friends, Mel, shared how she felt about planning: “I love making plans, as I am a saddo who actually can’t function unless I am telling myself what to do. I looooong to be a spontaneous rebel to my own routine and structure, like you. However I fear imploding if I do not do as I have planned. I am so organised to the umpteenth degree that I panic if I am not following my plan, in case I forget to do something crucial and it comes back to bite me.” Mel too has planning head trash, but it’s showing up very differently to mine. She loves routine and structure, but also hates it and wants to rebel it, so there’s a conflict. I suspect there’s a need to be in control, which routine and structure provide. For Mel, it’s the possibility of things being out of control or chaotic (a fear) that is driving her need to plan. For Mel to be free of her planning head trash, as well as ‘planning’, she would need to clear things like control, and being out of control being organised, and being disorganised routine structure The thing about our head trash is that it’s all tangled up. Things are connected to each other to create head trash knots. For us to get rid of the knot, we have to identify all the strands and clear them one by one. And before you know, it the knot is gone. How do you feel about planning? We’ve all got different stuff going on, so your if you’ve planning head trash, then it’s probably going to be a bit different. But hopefully by seeing how I’ve dissected mine and Mel’s you can try and figure out what’s going on for you. If I were to draw a list of usual suspects for useful and related clearances, it would include things like this: being prepared knowing what to do having no idea what to do / being clueless Once you’ve identified your own list, then just clear it using the which you can find in my book . /episode/index/show/headtrash/id/19830149

Using the mind-body connection to feel better 07/02/2021

Using the mind-body connection to feel better Whenever I see a face, I can usually tell whether they have a load of head trash. this is because whenever we have lots of stresses and anxieties, the tension that this creates shows up in our bodies, and our faces. We're familiar with the aching shoulders, tension head-aches and other bodily aches that come from being stressed and anxious, and in my experience these tensions show up in the face. They are so prominent that I tend to notice a difference in the faces of my clients over the course of the time of us working together. The difference can be quite remarkable. This is a reflection of the connection that we're all-too aware of: the mind-body connection. When we experience emotions, they do not pass through our brain or our conscious mind, they pass through the body. It would take too long for us to get the message if we waited for our emotions to be processed by the mind. Our body enables us to get the message that our emotions are sending to us instantly. This is pretty helpful when faced with a life-threatening situation. The problem comes when our emotions get trapped in our body because this is when tension is created and movements are limited. If we want to release this emotional tension, one way of doing that is by clearing out the emotional energy - which we can do using - and the other way we can do that is through movement of the body. To help us to better understand this connection between mind and body, I invited Victoria Salomon onto the podcast to talk it through. Victoria is a movement specialist and her work touches on the the emotional component, so I thought she'd make a great guest to help us explore this fascinating topic. The Ladder of Head Trash Our conversation follows the structure of the Ladder of Head Trash, more of which you can read about in my book but which goes a bit like this; At the bottom of the ladder we are full of head trash. It weighs us down and makes it hard for us to climb the ladder. The more head trash we clear, the more easy we find it to climb the ladder to subsequent rungs. At the top of the ladder, we are in a place whereby we have high levels of emotional resilience and mental fitness, we are confident and have strong levels of personal power. We're in flow. The five rungs of the Head Trash Ladder are as follows; Conkers Washing balls Bouncy balls Snooker Balls Glitter Balls During this conversation, Victoria and I explore each of these rungs from a mind and body perspective. This can help you to figure out where you are on the ladder, and how best to overcome the challenges you're facing as a result of where you are on the ladder, whether those are emotional or physical. About Victoria Victoria specialises in helping you, whether emotional pain means you struggle to jump out of bed in the morning, or your physical pain and stiffness stops you bending down to do up your shoes, or running around participating in sport or playing with your kids! The Ixchel System is her inside out approach, teaching you to assess and realign your own muscular-skeletal and nervous system. This will realign and rebalance your emotional and physical connection, to create total freedom in your body and mind. Victoria’s goal is that you do not need her for long, because within a short time of working The Ixchel System you will have reclaimed the power you want, so you have agency over your health and will be relieved of, or more in control of your pain! She has a series of courses as well working one to one! Find more in on Victoria Salomon and The Ixchel System at her website . And here are some further resources that Victoria offers: /episode/index/show/headtrash/id/19671290

Productivity: Getting distracted vs getting stuff done 06/25/2021

Productivity: Getting distracted vs getting stuff done Getting stuff done and generally being productive requires the mind to stay focussed on singular tasks until they are complete. Sounds fairly straightforward, right? And yet this is where most people fall down, including you. Why? Simple. You get distracted You look away from what you're doing. Perhaps you open up another browser window to check Facebook. Or maybe you look outside through an actual window and just stare. It doesn't really matter what is causing the distraction. What matters is that the mind is up for being distracted. It doesn't have the staying power for the task as hand. It wavers. One minute you're doing the task, the next minute your attention wanders and you're checking email or your phone. Then your attention goes back to the task again. Sound familiar? In this podcast episode I dive into some of the reasons why you might be getting distracted so easily. When your mind is easily distracted your productivity will suffer. The constant wavering as you flit between tasks and wonder whether this is indeed the right task for you to be focusing on creates a huge drain on your effectiveness. Your productivity suffers This constant shift in focus means that it struggles to move forward with The Thing it's actually trying to do and so your productivity suffers. When a mind has strength and resilience it's much easier to stay with the task at hand until it's complete. And it rarely gets distracted. We have all seen people like this. Things are kicking off all around them and despite it all, they remain absorbed in the thing they're doing. You see, it's not about The Distraction per se. It's about the mind and these two things specifically; Is your mind OPEN to being distracted? Can your mind withstand distractions? As you become more resilient, you're better able to remain focussed and bat away distractions. It's all part of being unfuckwithable which you can . But building mental strength and resilience doesn't sound like something that you can do overnight. So in the meantime what can you do? What can you do to avoid being distracted? Specifically so that you can can get stuff done and generally be more productive. The good news is that the answer is quicker to achieve than you might think. This was something a business client came to me with this week. She told me that she was struggling to get stuff done and that she was getting distracted too easily. My client is in lockdown and like many working parents she is working from home and homeschooling two kids under five. She's a CEO with 15 people working for her so already has plenty on her plate. Lockdown was massively adding to her usual distractions and she told me that she was struggling to get stuff done. I think we can all relate to that! So we used the and cleared Getting stuff done Distractions and being distracted You might think it strange for us to clear 'getting stuff done'. There are two reasons why we did that; It's an important part of the clearance process. Head Trash Clearance involves working with opposites, and for my client the opposite of 'being distracted' was 'getting stuff done'. It was the outcome that my client wanted. We often have resistance or blocks around our desires and goals, so it's always worth doing a clearance around the things you want to achieve. In this situation her desired outcome just happened to be the opposite of the thing she was struggling with so that made things nice and neat! if it wasn't the opposite then I would have asked two questions: What's the opposite of 'being distracted'? A good way to ask yourself that is "If you're not being distracted, you're what...?". The answer to this might have been 'being focussed' for example. What's the outcome you desire? This will be the thing you're struggling with, the thing you're trying to achieve but can't for some reason. This is because there are blocks in your way. In my client's situation, the blocks were her being distracted. This clearance took just under an hour and the effects were remarkable. She realised straight after doing the clearance was what was important and what wasn't. Immediately she was able to identify five things that were on her to-do list that were unnecessary and mere distractions. So she struck them straight off without hesitation. She also had unwavering clarity as to what she needed to do and what to prioritise. This gave her a renewed energy and motivation for the things she needed to do. Result! Head Trash Clearance Tips If you're struggling with getting stuff done, use the to clear getting stuff done distractions and being distracted /episode/index/show/headtrash/id/19508777

COVID Anxiety and how to deal with it 06/18/2021

What is anxiety REALLY? And how to shift it. 06/11/2021

What is anxiety REALLY? And how to shift it. Anxiety is something we have all experienced a one time or other. Or at least I'm assuming you have by the very fact you're on this site. Here are some fun facts about anxiety that I found An estimated 284 million people worldwide experienced an anxiety disorder in 2017, making it the most prevalent mental health disorder on the planet (Ritchie, Hannah and Roser, Max. “Anxiety Disorders.” Our World In Data. Accessed May 14, 2019) Anxiety disorders are the most common of mental disorders and will affect nearly 30% of adults at some point in their lives.[4] Even though anxiety disorders are highly treatable, only about 1/3 of those suffering receive adequate treatment What is anxiety? According to authors Kaplan and Sadock, anxiety is “a diffuse, unpleasant, vague sense of apprehension ” and is often a response to an imagined, imprecise, or unknown threat. For example, let’s say you’re walking down a dark street. You might feel a bit apprehensive and have butterflies in your stomach, or be overcome with a sense of dread. These feelings are caused by the anxiety that is related to the possibility that a nasty stranger may jump out from behind a van and ask for your wallet, or worse. This anxiety is not the result of a known or specific threat because you don’t know for sure that there’s a nasty man lurking about. Instead, it’s all in your head; you’re imagining that there might be a nasty man. You may argue with that, saying, “Well, I’m in a dodgy part of town that’s littered with questionable characters on every street corner, so I’m pretty confident that this is a real threat,” but it only becomes real when a man actually appears. Then fear kicks in. Fear is an emotional response to a known or definite threat. Staying in our darkened street, let’s say someone does appear from behind that rusty old van and holds a knife up in your face, asking for your mobile phone and wallet; this would trigger your fear response. In this case, the danger is real, definite, and immediate. Anxiety vs fear - what's the difference? So the main difference between fear and anxiety, is that anxiety is this vague sense of unease and apprehension, about things we IMAGINE about the future, whereas fear is triggered in the moment when we are faced with a threatening situation. This all gets very fuzzy though because our fear radar is completely out of whack because of modern society and the fact that we rarely face situations that threaten our life. And given that fear and anxiety produce very similar physiological responses, it's obvious why we might confuse the two or think of them as being interchangeable. Thankfully when it comes to getting rid of fears or anxiety, it doesn't matter which it is because Head Trash Clearance doesn't care. But it can be very useful to make the distinction for our own self-awareness and being able to manage or cope with it. If you want to read more about the difference between anxiety and fear, this blog post dives into this in more detail; https://clearyourheadtrash.com/articles/fear-and-anxiety/ What does anxiety look like? At least, what does it look like in terms of head trash? Here is an example of how anxiety might show up for someone, maybe you? Let's say you hate not being in control because you can't stand chaos. Things need to be ordered and well planned for you. Everything you do, you prepare to the nth degree. And you do that to help you to FEEL in control. Your need for control also means that you hold on to stuff (emotions, dramas, things). This means that you can’t fully let go AND let yourself go because you’re worried about looking silly or appearing weak. If you look silly or weak you won’t be taken seriously and then people might not like you. If people don’t like you then you might feel like you don’t belong or rejected and if you’re rejected you think you’re not good enough. And if you’re not good enough then you’ll mess up and be a total failure and no one will want anything to do with you and you’ll be all alone. And if there’s one thing you fear more than anything it’s being, feeling, living and dying alone. This is what anxiety looks like. Does this seem familiar to you? This kind of tangled up head trash is hiding in all sorts of pockets in your life and mind; Health Food Relationship Parenting Work Business And unfortunately it creates lots of rubbish side effects. The unfortunate side effects of anxiety Anxiety is the obvious symptom but there's more. The conflicts that are in place will create self-sabotaging patterns and keep you stuck in unhelpful patterns of behaviour. You'll procrastinate on things you actually WANT to do. And because your mind is juggling all of these conflicts and fears, it takes AGES to get anything done: your productivity and effectiveness will suck. And all of this will probably keep you up at night and stop you from getting a decent nights sleep. Which means that during the day you'll reach for the caffeine and sugary snacks to give you the energy to make it through. To avoid facing up to the barrage of these thoughts, you'll want to find ways to escape.. a few drinks, recreational drugs or sleeping tablets. It can be a slippery slope, but that doesn't mean we can't put a stop to it. And it also doesn't have to take that long. So how do we get rid of anxiety? How do we get rid of anxiety? It's simple. We unravel it and clear it one piece at a time. In the unravelling, themes begin to emerge. From what I've shared above, one of the key themes would include control. This is a biggie for a lot of people and shows up in all aspects of our lives. Other themes might includes decisiveness and hesitation change and uncertainty procrastination and action-taking adulting (growing up and acting like the adult you are) trapped and stuck how we relate to others honesty and integrity These themes are extensive and show up for everyone in varying degrees. It's the nature of being human. If you want to reduce your anxiety, then I would recommend exploring these key themes and asking yourself what you fear or worry about. Do you worry about things like; making the wrong decision or messing up? things changing or your life/body changing? taking on responsibility? having no choices or feeling trapped? feeling unsupported or asking for help? being lied to? These are just some of the questions that will help you to unravel your head trash. Once you've unravelled, you're probably going to find yourself facing a long list. Thats OK. Don't feel overwhelmed by it. If you do, then put "overwhelm" at the top of the list. Typically, someone with anxiety will have around 40-60 things on their list. If you commit to clearing 6 things a week, then you could be noticing a HUGE impact in how you feel in just 10 weeks. That's not even 3 months! To make this easy for you, I've compiled the most common clearances that people have needed to do in all of these key themes and they are all in the . The is a vault of head trash clearance resources that have been created to help you clear your head trash quickly and easily. You just need to be able to read and follow simple instructions and you're good to go. Of course, you might prefer guidance and support on this journey. /episode/index/show/headtrash/id/19429655

The Head Trash + Healing Show with Alexia Leachman

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