A recorded version of the Impressionista blog published by Sheevani Desai
info_outline Allowed and Proud 10/13/2021
Allowed and Proud This post is one of my favorites because it was truly a spur of the moment logging of my thoughts. Feeling proud of myself isn't a common theme for me, but I'm trying to be better about recognizing my accomplishments... hell, I spend enough time dwelling on my disappointments, right? Don't we all? I'll never stop reminding myself that I'm allowed to be proud.
info_outline Marriage Scoreboard 10/07/2021
Marriage Scoreboard I've never been one to play sports so a score is meaningless to me, yet I would always attempt to keep score in my marriage; who got more personal time, who was more involved in the kids lives, who had the power due to income. All that would do is lead me down a path to misery and depression. I'm trying to express my feelings to my husband more often, so he is aware of some of the imbalances I'm feeling so we can work together to achieve a harmony that works for both of us... it may not be 50/50 in a mathematical sense, but we are striving for a mutually emotional balance. And that's been working better than a scoreboard.
info_outline Sheevani < Perfect Indian Daughter 09/22/2021
Sheevani < Perfect Indian Daughter Growing up in the Indian community meant being held to a set of standards that felt incongruent to my strengths, but I was held to them nonetheless. Falling short of being a Perfect Indian Daughter is something I have grappled with for a long time. For anyone whose sense of worth has been defined by very stringent rules, recognizing the otherness in you will always be a complicated venture, but if you're anything like me, you'll eventually realize those tired old rules were the limits you were always supposed to break through.
info_outline Bharati Desai 09/15/2021
Bharati Desai A tribute to the wonderful woman who gave me life. As I get older and experience so many life changes as a woman, wife and mother... I find myself seeking out the stories of my own mother to guide me through. She certainly doesn't think her story is anything special, but I do and I wanted to share it.
info_outline Sexual Healing 03/17/2021
Sexual Healing I always wanted to avoid becoming a cliche, but when I found myself in pretty much a sex-less marriage after having kids, I felt like the damn mayor of Cliche Town. Even though it's a common phase of marriage, I felt so incredibly alone and ashamed about my lack of libido... and I had to forgive myself first in order to make any changes.
info_outline Peace Be With Me... And Also With Me 02/01/2021
Peace Be With Me... And Also With Me Evolution is so necessary in our lives and sometimes we have to accept changes in our dreams in order for that to happen. Sure, I don't think my dream of being on SNL will happen now, but I've tweaked my goals to what is possible for my own talent. With that, I know I can find inner peace.
info_outline Tripped Advisor 01/25/2021
Tripped Advisor My daughter has reached the "mean girls" stage in her life and I find myself struggling with advice to offer her. Lately I've been trying to figure out my approach that will both comfort her... and give her tools to deal with the inevitable bitches.
info_outline I'm Taking a Ride with My Best Friend 09/01/2020
I'm Taking a Ride with My Best Friend When my best friend in the whole world didn't ask me to be her maid of honor, something I had taken for granted our entire friendship, I needed to understand why. I was forced to look into my track record as a bad friend. It was not easy, but I'm thankful for the lesson.
info_outline The Good Wife 08/06/2020
The Good Wife By the time I realized how much I had let myself go in my relationship, my heart was too broken to allow my mind to change course. As I re-evaluated my self-worth, I needed to face the fact that the imbalance in power in my marriage was caused by my fixation on who made most of the cash. After a decade of marriage, I had to change that mindset in order to feel good again.
info_outline Why So Seriousaaahhh?? 07/17/2020
Why So Seriousaaahhh?? Being a grown-up can be a lot of fun, but we inevitably fall victim to all the boring shit that comes along with adding more rings to our trunks. I'm trying to keep that inner child alive at all times as a form of self-care that doesn't cost an arm and a leg.
info_outline Old Yeller 04/14/2020
Old Yeller Yelling has been a release my whole life, but not one that I'm proud of. When I married my husband, my yelling background became a problem and even more-so after I had children. My struggle with finding the calm when I want to yell is ongoing, but necessary. Deeeeep breaths.
info_outline Forever Front-Butt 02/17/2020
Forever Front-Butt After the age of 18, my body started to do what bodies do as we age. While I think I'm doing a fabulous job with health and fitness, I find myself disappointed that I'm not seeing a reflection akin to my younger self. This is an area where my mindset is as stubborn as my metabolism.
info_outline Oooh Baby, Do I Know What I'm Worth? Blogcast 11/04/2019
Oooh Baby, Do I Know What I'm Worth? Blogcast Figuring out my true purpose wasn't ever a problem, it was more finding the courage to pursue it. I have known what I wanted to do since I was just out of diapers, but taking the safe and common route seemed to be good enough for me... until it wasn't. Enjoy!
info_outline White Weekdays, Brown Weekends Blogcast 09/12/2019
White Weekdays, Brown Weekends Blogcast Growing up an Indian kid in a white suburb of Detroit was an experience I hadn't reflected too much on until writing this post. Living a sort of double-life in order to belong was my normal and certainly has an impact on the way I navigate through life today.