impressionista's podcast

A recorded version of the Impressionista blog published by Sheevani Desai

Mr. Husband, TEAR DOWN THAT WALL! 11/21/2023

Mr. Husband, TEAR DOWN THAT WALL! Avoidance is NOT the key to marriage. I'm not sure if you've heard that and yes, I know that is a groundbreaking admission, but as it turns out... communcation is very important. My husband and I work on this all the time, but as someone who has shown most of her vulnerablities to a spouse who blocks most of his, it can take a toll. I haven't given up though... /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/28738858

Every Pity Party is a Shitty Party 08/22/2023

Every Pity Party is a Shitty Party Going through life without recognizing your privilege is not my jam. In this post, I talk about my own ways of ghosting my personal pity parties and the folks in my life who inspired this way of life. Enjoy! /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/27825396

Welcome Week - The Real Story 12/29/2022

Welcome Week - The Real Story When I went away to college, I was filled with such jumbled emotions that ranged from guilt to unbridled enthusiasm. Thinking I knew exactly who I wanted "college Sheevani" to be, I dove in headfirst the very first night - going to a party and hooking up with a guy. The imposter syndrome was heavy that night and I learned an important lesson about having patience with myself and my identity. This wasn't an easy experience to share, but since it serves as a touchstone for me whenever I feel a bit lost, I thought it could be helpful to others. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/25459668

Welcome Week 09/28/2022

Welcome Week Seeing pictures of my first college roommate's son going off to college was shocking on so many levels (am I that old??), but also took me back to my first week away at Michigan State University. I decided to write a short story inspired by true events and idealistic wishes. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/24519144

Where You Lead, I Will Follow... & Then Eventually Lead 03/29/2022

Where You Lead, I Will Follow... & Then Eventually Lead Following was my jam for so long and I had fooled myself into thinking that I wasn't a natural leader, no matter how much my father tried to convince me from the age of 10. As life took the twists and turns that it tends to do, I realized my avoidance of leadership had a lot to do with conditioned beliefs; true leaders only existed in business, politics or some other worthy and impressive arena. Turns out, when I allowed myself to pursue areas of personal passion, I can lead like a mother*cker. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/22612469

Promotion Commotion 02/25/2022

Promotion Commotion Choosing a career where I have to promote myself as a "brand" makes me cringe, but in order to have any success, it's a necessity. In this post, I discuss my reservations about self-promotion and how they stem from issues, both societal and personal. Enjoy! /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/22254272

Pride & Prejudice - Indian Style 02/01/2022

Pride & Prejudice - Indian Style When you grow up a person of color with immigrant parents, being proud of what makes you different can be a really complicated concept. In this post, I explore my knee-jerk judgmental reaction to a fellow first-generation Indian woman's expression of Indian embarrassment and how my own path to finding joy in my culture is more nuanced than I first thought. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/21989084

Bod Squad 01/25/2022

Bod Squad Becoming an active person was always on my to-do list, especially after my body started going through the natural changes that bodies tend to go through. In this post, I tell you why I knew I would have to stop making excuses and put in the effort. I may not have a lot of things figured out, but I'm proud to say I have finally become an active person who thrives on breaking a sweat! /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/21894209

Whine Country 01/11/2022

Whine Country We're taught that aging is an enemy. The amount of times I've enjoyed some version of, "Oh, this is my 15th 21st birthday, har har har har!!" rivals the number of times I've considered a Goop detox... which is to say never. Why fight or deny that we're getting older? It's the biggest human commonality, so rather than long for the days of my youth, I try to embrace the years as they come... that doesn't mean it doesn't sting every now and then. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/21743984

Tone Deaf 12/06/2021

Tone Deaf When I get emotional and need to discuss an issue, it doesn't always come out the right way. I've lost count of how many times I've had to apologize to people because I've blown up about something that I've held in for so long. Learning to effectively communicate, especially in my marriage, has been tough... but I know it's necessary so I can be heard. I just don't want my husband to be plugging his ears to shield from the yelling. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/21396359

Busy Beaver and Beyonce 11/02/2021

Busy Beaver and Beyonce Being busy isn't a badge of honor in my book, mostly because I've shied away from too many commitments since I've never been great at juggling a lot in my life. But, life has a sneaky way of teaching you things and before you know it, you can multi-task with the best of them. Plus, Beyonce is all-knowing and inspiring for life. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/21028031

Allowed and Proud 10/13/2021

Allowed and Proud This post is one of my favorites because it was truly a spur of the moment logging of my thoughts. Feeling proud of myself isn't a common theme for me, but I'm trying to be better about recognizing my accomplishments... hell, I spend enough time dwelling on my disappointments, right? Don't we all? I'll never stop reminding myself that I'm allowed to be proud. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/20805203

Marriage Scoreboard 10/07/2021

Marriage Scoreboard I've never been one to play sports so a score is meaningless to me, yet I would always attempt to keep score in my marriage; who got more personal time, who was more involved in the kids lives, who had the power due to income. All that would do is lead me down a path to misery and depression. I'm trying to express my feelings to my husband more often, so he is aware of some of the imbalances I'm feeling so we can work together to achieve a harmony that works for both of us... it may not be 50/50 in a mathematical sense, but we are striving for a mutually emotional balance. And that's been working better than a scoreboard. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/20740961

Sheevani < Perfect Indian Daughter 09/22/2021

Sheevani < Perfect Indian Daughter Growing up in the Indian community meant being held to a set of standards that felt incongruent to my strengths, but I was held to them nonetheless. Falling short of being a Perfect Indian Daughter is something I have grappled with for a long time. For anyone whose sense of worth has been defined by very stringent rules, recognizing the otherness in you will always be a complicated venture, but if you're anything like me, you'll eventually realize those tired old rules were the limits you were always supposed to break through. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/20569799

Bharati Desai 09/15/2021

Bharati Desai A tribute to the wonderful woman who gave me life. As I get older and experience so many life changes as a woman, wife and mother... I find myself seeking out the stories of my own mother to guide me through. She certainly doesn't think her story is anything special, but I do and I wanted to share it. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/20483702

From the Archives - Hummus 04/14/2021

From the Archives - Hummus I found the original Impressionista post from years ago before I abandoned the blog for many years. It's a fun trip down memory lane where the first indication of my pregnancy was an obscene ingestion of hummus. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/18726899

Sexual Healing 03/17/2021

Sexual Healing I always wanted to avoid becoming a cliche, but when I found myself in pretty much a sex-less marriage after having kids, I felt like the damn mayor of Cliche Town. Even though it's a common phase of marriage, I felt so incredibly alone and ashamed about my lack of libido... and I had to forgive myself first in order to make any changes. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/18368549

Inspiration Cessation 02/24/2021

Inspiration Cessation When the well runs dry with creativity, sometimes you just have to force yourself to create with whatever is in your brain. This post is evidence of that. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/18079070

Peace Be With Me... And Also With Me 02/01/2021

Peace Be With Me... And Also With Me Evolution is so necessary in our lives and sometimes we have to accept changes in our dreams in order for that to happen. Sure, I don't think my dream of being on SNL will happen now, but I've tweaked my goals to what is possible for my own talent. With that, I know I can find inner peace. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/17772509

Tripped Advisor 01/25/2021

Tripped Advisor My daughter has reached the "mean girls" stage in her life and I find myself struggling with advice to offer her. Lately I've been trying to figure out my approach that will both comfort her... and give her tools to deal with the inevitable bitches. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/17684609

Had to Choke to Get Woke 12/22/2020

Had to Choke to Get Woke Confidence is a tricky thing and often its timing is less than ideal... at least for me. But last year a slip on stage caused me many days of mental strife that perhaps I wasn't worthy of my dream. Big mistake. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/17293178

Dear Paul... 10/26/2020

Dear Paul... Marriage is hard, I don't care who you are. Being married to me is no picnic and it was high time to admit that to my husband in a Valentine's Day post. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/16556672

If You Film It, I Will Come 09/10/2020

If You Film It, I Will Come Movies were my first method of escapism. In this blogcast, I talk about some that were a huge influence in my life. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/15964961

I'm Taking a Ride with My Best Friend 09/01/2020

I'm Taking a Ride with My Best Friend When my best friend in the whole world didn't ask me to be her maid of honor, something I had taken for granted our entire friendship, I needed to understand why. I was forced to look into my track record as a bad friend. It was not easy, but I'm thankful for the lesson. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/15839348

The Good Wife 08/06/2020

The Good Wife By the time I realized how much I had let myself go in my relationship, my heart was too broken to allow my mind to change course. As I re-evaluated my self-worth, I needed to face the fact that the imbalance in power in my marriage was caused by my fixation on who made most of the cash. After a decade of marriage, I had to change that mindset in order to feel good again. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/15512843

Why So Seriousaaahhh?? 07/17/2020

Why So Seriousaaahhh?? Being a grown-up can be a lot of fun, but we inevitably fall victim to all the boring shit that comes along with adding more rings to our trunks. I'm trying to keep that inner child alive at all times as a form of self-care that doesn't cost an arm and a leg. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/15251939

Tripped Advisor 05/26/2020

Tripped Advisor When mean girls arrived in my daughter's life, a flood of memories came back about my own experience with school bitches. In this post I talk about how scared I am to guide her through this awful, but necessary stage in life. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/14578262

Old Yeller 04/14/2020

Old Yeller Yelling has been a release my whole life, but not one that I'm proud of. When I married my husband, my yelling background became a problem and even more-so after I had children. My struggle with finding the calm when I want to yell is ongoing, but necessary. Deeeeep breaths. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/13985885

I Can't Hurry Love 03/03/2020

I Can't Hurry Love I never realized how lucky my first love experience was until I heard so many horror stories from friends about their first loves. To Greg, my first love who taught me my worth. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/13398383

Forever Front-Butt 02/17/2020

Forever Front-Butt After the age of 18, my body started to do what bodies do as we age. While I think I'm doing a fabulous job with health and fitness, I find myself disappointed that I'm not seeing a reflection akin to my younger self. This is an area where my mindset is as stubborn as my metabolism. /episode/index/show/impressionista/id/13188065

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