Inside My Wardrobe

Conversations on marrying up the person we are on the inside, with the person we are on the outside. Join broadcaster Pipa Gordon taking a rummage through who we are and how we do life.

086 Hindsight is 2020 12/10/2020

085 Life, Loss & Lemonstones 12/03/2020

084 The Story You Tell Yourself 11/26/2020

084 The Story You Tell Yourself 2020 has been hard in so many ways, but like in any trauma or tough time in life, how we cope is often determined by the story we choose to tell ourselves. Here's a moving podcast illustrating how to find strength when we keep going anyway. Accepting who we are and where we are at, gives us so much power and once we find that place, we begin the journey of healing and freedom! This episode is perfectly timed as so much change has occurred this year in all of our lives. Much of it for the better, but also with lots of trauma and sadness in the mix. Nina Chesworth's story is a real example of courage, determination and resilience. She has had to overcome trauma in a way that none of us would ever imagine. Having become severely short sighted after having the flu when just 2 years old, had multiple operations that would succeed and then fail after a time taking her through years of torture; then in her adult years, had 2 separate accidents that each involved losing an eye. She kept strong for everyone else, until the final accident when she came apart and fell into a deep depression. Her resilience however, unfailing, eventually found the lifeline to pull her back out. She’s an inspiration and a true example of HOW to keep going when we are struggling to see the way forwards …. In this incredibly inspiring episode we talk about how Nina has developed practices to maintain a good place when it comes to her mental health, how she manages the ongoing stress that comes from Charles Bonnet Syndrome, a syndrome of hallucinations that comes about with sight loss; she talks about how her friends and family have been her support line and how she's had to rebuild her life over and over, clinging on to the determination that protects her independence and ability to be productive, creative, help others and most importantly be a mum. Nina has a degree in Design and art direction despite her visual impairment at the time, started her own business making her own handmade jewellery, and began the creative craft café in Manchester where people could come and express their creativity in order to help their mental health. Nina continues to support others with their mental health all the while adjusting and working with her own. Our mental health is an ongoing journey and the tips and insights that she shares during this episode are doable for us all. Do check out The Bridge and so if those sounded like they could be helpful to you, definitely take a look. Also remember that we have a where you are always safe to come and offload to those who will support you, and please remember, as Nina said, things always get better. Nina's Blog - Twitter account @blind_but_sound Instagram and as @NinaChesworth /episode/index/show/insidemywardrobe/id/16967402

083 Why We Are Feeling Exhausted 11/19/2020

083 Why We Are Feeling Exhausted This has been an immensely difficult year for everyone – in different ways we have made sacrifices, managed stress, illness, loss …the list for everyone is different. Whether its been isolation and loneliness, or fear for loved ones who you can’t see, or managing children whilst working, or desperately trying to find creative ways around running a business so that you can keep your head above water – we’ve all gone through it and everywhere I turn right now, people are tired, fed up, hanging on by a thread. In the news this morning there was a piece on how anti social behaviour and abuse is escalating in supermarkets ….. but it really highlights the mental state that some are in, there are many fragile people walking around on the brink So for my wrapping up of the people pleasing series, I want to finish with the importance of understanding how we are effected by life and what goes on around us and giving ourselves the freedom to roll with some punches – I don’t mean being tossed by the waves, we have a responsibility to manage how we respond to negative feelings but at the same time, it’s important that we acknowledge and understand what we are feeling – for ourselves. We’ve been a generation of goal setting reach for the stars and that’s great, the world has offered so many opportunities to us however right now, it’s so much more important that we take the gas off, that we allow ourselves to feel our way through the rest of this pandemic, to be connected to our feelings so that we don’t come out the other side disorientated or burned out but instead, we come out grounded, knowing what really matters One of the things this second lockdown highlighted for me was realising how quickly we had reverted back to life as we knew it pre Covid just in the last couple of months… shopping, seeing friends, people were having parties, meeting in restaurants, sitting close together …as if it had all gone away and we had forgotten. If anything, we can use this as a reminder that despite all the horrific things going on during lockdown, all the stresses and strains, we also all began to pair down and connect with the things that matter most. A friend of mine tweeted this morning about how low she’s been feeling of late …. Brian and I were talking over coffee this morning about the exhaustion we are all feeling right now – he was saying it’s a bit like when you learn something new, your brain gets tired – and we’ve all had to learn so much “new” this year – in the past we could go to work, go to the shops, go on holiday, all on auto pilot without having to think, everything was so familiar to us and suddenly this year that has all changed, very little is familiar, we are always having to think, be aware, do things a different way – of course we are exhausted! One of the things we have talked about over the last few weeks has been menopause as last month was menopause awareness month so add to that the influence on hormones in our lives, whether it’s your monthly cycle or hormone change in perimenopause or post menopause, add to that all the different stresses and strains being carried by those around us, add to that the not knowing of what’s ahead – yes the vaccines look really promising but we aren’t there yet – it’s difficult – let’s acknowledge that. . The reason I’ve included this as the final part of the people pleasing series is because it is vital that as part of learning about who we are, about getting to know ourselves and be ourselves, that we also learn to be comfortable in ourselves during the difficult times and give ourselves what we need – rest, support, a good book, a podcast, a walk in the woods …whatever it might be. That we learn to lean on each other, feel our feelings, not sweep them under the carpet but allow ourselves to mirror the seasons, right now to prepare for hibernation – we’ve earned it this year!!!! We NEED to rest and reset. Usually this time of year I start to plan ahead for the following year but as that process has begun, I’ve started to think about how I’m going to nurture myself and my family first, as Gayle Johnson talked about back in episode 75, use journaling and creative ways to process through emotions and really get in touch with ourselves, last week we talked about cold water swimming and how shocking our body into fight or flight, learning how to breathe through that panic response enables our neural pathways and physical responses to become stronger and more resilient to stress – in fact next week we have an incredible guest on who is the most inspirational example of living through trauma and coming out the other side – and that’s really what this year has been for us, By definition, a A traumatic event is an incident that causes physical, emotional, spiritual, or psychological harm in which we might feel threatened, anxious, or frightened as a result. The reactions to trauma can include exhaustion, confusion, sadness, anxiety, agitation, numbness, dissociation, confusion ….all sorts. So in becoming more of ourselves, in grounding ourselves stronger in who we are and what we want from life, we also need to know and understand the other side of that coin, be able to recognise our negative feelings, where they have come from and sometimes allow ourselves to go through that muddy puddle, even sit in it for a while. We can’t rush these things – that’s something I learned through my divorce, I was devastated when I heard it would take a good couple of years to grieve and feel like myself again but that person was so right - and we can’t rush Covid either, we are here, we are moving forwards and we have all been marked in one way or another by 2020 – remember its generally the bad stuff in life that we learn from so let’s not race back to life as we knew it, let’s take the time to reflect deeper into ourselves, to get to know who we are and how we are feeling, allow ourselves to feel the Autumn and Winter of this year because Spring comes next and then summer. So however life is looking for you right now, keep going but be kind to yourself, be aware of what you need so that you can be even more of yourself both through the good times and the more difficult ones. I think you’ll love next week’s episode, it’s an incredible story of resilience In the meantime, take care, keep washing your hands and wearing your masks and if you’re feeling frayed around the edges, that’s ok, spring isn’t too far away – in fact it’s about the same distance as we are now from when we came out of the first lockdown – and that doesn’t seem to far now does it? Other episodes in this series: – how can you be yourself unless you know who you are, start to notice and be curious : continuing with getting to know yourself, take it further and start to ask yourself about your opinions – read, think, question – be curious! Often people become people pleasers not because they are wanting to be liked, but because they just don’t know their own answers. How can you find your tribe, your people, if you don’t know what defines you? Why join a netball team when you prefer to be on water? – learning to say no and that realising that when you give your power away, when you’re always saying yes and standing aside, it opens you UP TO FEELING VIOLATED and ABUSED #83 Part 4: today – putting all those things together in many ways is really simple but then the final point is this – life happens – and it’s all very well knowing the colourful side, but we are whole people and we also need to know our darkness. Brene Brown says “You can’t selectively numb your emotions” and in the same way, we can’t only know what we want, we also need to know what we feel …. - eating disorders with Michelle Scott Menopause and how hormones dramatically effect the way we do live – knowing your dosha and going with the seasons with Olivia Sharron /episode/index/show/insidemywardrobe/id/16873991

082 Just Keep (Cold Water) Swimming 11/12/2020

082 Just Keep (Cold Water) Swimming Welcome to another episode of Inside My Wardrobe – I was originally going to call this “Keeeep Talking” as it’s Strictly Come Dancing season but then I remembered “just keep swimming, swimming swimming” – and I couldn’t really move on from that. You have to have seen the movie Nemo to get the title. “Just Keep Swimming” is Dory’s line, played by Ellen DeGeneres and her motto taught to her by her Mum, when life gets hard, to just keep swimming …. This week’s guest came about after #76 “How To Eat And Be Happy” with therapist from the Recovery Centre, Michelle Scott talking about eating disorders – she asked if I would be interested to talk to Olivia Sharron – Founder of Chilly Dippers which is a cold water swimming community that is growing across the UK to encourage not just physical wellbeing but to help people find and develop natural coping mechanisms for dealing with every day stress and anxiety – which of course was a definite yes from me because I hand on heart believe that the more comfortable we are with ourselves, our emotions, our feelings and learning how to express them, the easier life gets – it doesn’t stop the mountains from standing in our way, but when you have confidence in every aspect of who you are and where you’ve been, you develop a strength that carries you forwards over mountains and through the storms which are inevitable – how boring would it be to sit on a beach all day every day? I’ve talked before about how I was going to spend a weekend with a group of friends walking up Snowdon and down again but as life would have it, a family emergency cropped up which meant I couldn’t go but when they all came back, no one talked about reaching the top, it was all about the journey and who struggled and who slipped and then the champagne in the hot tub afterwards – mountains are good particularly when we climb them with friends. In this episode we talk about the importance of talking, of community, of looking around and seeing that we aren’t climbing the mountain on our own, so it’s important to express how we feel and then there’s this amazing effect that cold water swimming has – not just in the camaraderie around a hot chocolate afterwards, but also about how physically shocking your body into fight or flight helps bypass the mind and speed up the process of freeing our instinct to help us become people who have confidence in our own ability to cope when the going gets tough. It’s been proven to: Encourage Better sleep Improves circulation A Natural high Increases your metabolism Boosts your immune system Enhances happiness – releases endorphins Is great for the skin The premise of Chilly Dippers (), is a mental health initiative set up by Olivia Sharron whilst at The University of Edinburgh to encourage more natural coping mechanisms for dealing with everyday stresses and anxieties. The focus is on how cold-water swimming and its mental and physical health benefits really takes people out of their normal routines, for even 5 minutes of something different to really help them gain some perspective of their worries. Olivia says “I had noticed too frequently, so many of my friends battling with mental health issues and not being able to speak about it. Luckily, through the many ‘Chilly Dips’ I have hosted up in Edinburgh and in London’s Serpentine Lido - we have been able to challenge the taboo around mental health through opening up opportunities for likeminded people to share their stories / or simply just engage in a fun, outdoor activity”. You’ve heard me waxing lyrical about the benefits of Japanese practise of forest bathing. It has been proven that intentionally spending time around trees, walking through woods and forests lower heart rate and blood pressure, reduces stress hormone production, boosts your immune system and improves the overall feelings of wellbeing – it just goes to show the importance of being aware of all the natural world has for us. On top of that, Chris Evans has been singing the praises of cold showers for months so you don’t necessarily have to take the whole plunge although I have to say, from those I know who do it, it seems to be addictive, my aunt in her 50s swims all year round in the sea in south west Wales – she posted a photo just the other day after they came out of their lockdown, the first thing she and a group of women did was to leap in the car and head to the beach, in November – and it’s cold on the welsh coast ALL year!! Lorraine Candy, editor of Style Magazine in the Sunday times recently wrote a piece on how HRT and cold water swimming together have really helped her through the menopause – and she only learned how to do the front crawl in her late 40s so there’s hope for us all! You don’t have to be a natural or seasoned swimmer – “the endorphin high lasts for some time, I can only liken the buzz to the heady days of the 90s rave scene” People make extraordinary claims about how cold water swimming has literally saved their lives because it’s had such a profound effect on their mental and physical health – stress relief, depression – all caused by the body learning how to protect itself when faced with a surge in cortisol Cold water swimming may help defend from dementia by stimulating latent hibernation protein, scientists say 'Cold-shock' protein - RBM3 - was first identified in mice after they were cooled It was found to trigger the removal and then regrowth of synapses in the brain Scientists wanted to see whether humans would also be able to make the protein And tests on lido swimmers have confirmed people can also produce it So the evidence is there, for ALL ages there is a huge benefit to cold water swimming but equally, and so importantly as Olivia pointed out, the importance of talking can never be underestimated. A few weeks ago we did a couple of episodes on what Dr Becky Quicke referred to as the third initiation of a woman’s life – of menopause, and of stepping into your queendom and being there for all the other younger women who cross your path so whatever age you are, reach out, not just to your peers, but to those older than you and to those younger than you, we are not designed to live isolated and disconnected lives, we thrive on connection and community so keep swimming and keep talking – and come and join in our page as there are women of all ages ready to connect and share together. Links are dotted through the notes but the main one for Olivia is and my website where you can find all the podcast episodes and more /episode/index/show/insidemywardrobe/id/16783721

081 Balancing Your Dosha 11/05/2020

081 Balancing Your Dosha During this episode we talk with writer and holistic therapist Ellen Carr about connecting with our bodies at a deep level so that we can discover who we are and find fulfilment and joy in life. We talk about how the seasons around us affect us according to our Dosha, we talk about masculine and feminine energy, how the Western culture in which we live promotes more of a goal based masculine existence which pushes us away from the nurture and reflective nature of the feminine energy. We all need both, but as a society, we have become incredibly linear which isn’t good for us so we talk about lots of different ways we can find balance and develop non-linear ways of being that will help us to feel good about and connected to our lives. It’s a beautiful conversation laden with wisdom and once again, lots of food for thought. You can find all the information we talked about by clicking this link to take the if you’re up for it and come and find me on my or social media :) and here's the story of the fisherman: There was once a businessman who was sitting by the beach in a small Brazilian village. As he sat, he saw a Brazilian fisherman rowing a small boat towards the shore having caught quite few big fish. The businessman was impressed and asked the fisherman, “How long does it take you to catch so many fish?” The fisherman replied, “Oh, just a short while.” “Then why don’t you stay longer at sea and catch even more?” The businessman was astonished. “This is enough to feed my whole family,” the fisherman said. The businessman then asked, “So, what do you do for the rest of the day?” The fisherman replied, “Well, I usually wake up early in the morning, go out to sea and catch a few fish, then go back and play with my kids. In the afternoon, I take a nap with my wife, and evening comes, I join my buddies in the village for a drink — we play guitar, sing and dance throughout the night.” The businessman offered a suggestion to the fisherman. “I am a PhD in business management. I could help you to become a more successful person. From now on, you should spend more time at sea and try to catch as many fish as possible. When you have saved enough money, you could buy a bigger boat and catch even more fish. Soon you will be able to afford to buy more boats, set up your own company, your own production plant for canned food and distribution network. By then, you will have moved out of this village and to Sao Paulo, where you can set up HQ to manage your other branches.” The fisherman continues, “And after that?” The businessman laughs heartily, “After that, you can live like a king in your own house, and when the time is right, you can go public and float your shares in the Stock Exchange, and you will be rich.” The fisherman asks, “And after that?” The businessman says, “After that, you can finally retire, you can move to a house by the fishing village, wake up early in the morning, catch a few fish, then return home to play with kids, have a nice afternoon nap with your wife, and when evening comes, you can join your buddies for a drink, play the guitar, sing and dance throughout the night!” The fisherman was puzzled, “Isn’t that what I am doing now?” /episode/index/show/insidemywardrobe/id/16695068

080 Lipstick and Bloody Mindedness 10/29/2020

079 Beyond The Bleed 10/22/2020

079 Beyond The Bleed In this episode with @themenopausepsychologist we talk about navigating the impact that hormones have on our psychological state and subsequent mental health. We discuss the 3 stages of being a woman, from childhood, to puberty through to motherhood and into what has the potential to be our most fulfilling years, post menopause. Until now, hormone influence on our lives really hasn’t been discussed or understood much at all. They affect us from our teen years and learning how to recognise what happens and manage ourselves around our cycles is something that you may or may not have become the expert in. How to cope with the myriad of emotions that come with our menstrual cycle is vital because hormones have a tremendous impact on our lives at every age and stage. Dr Becky Quicke’s understanding of our cycle and how we are affected on a daily basis is eye opening. She has some incredible insight on the importance of tuning into our menstruation pattern and how if we can work WITH that monthly cycle, we can be so much more prepared for the years of hormone change as the menopause approaches. She talks about developing the skills to navigate through hormonal storms throughout life, and then with the use of what is called psychological flexibility, how we respond to the symptoms of menopause such as anxiety, depression, brain fog and tearfulness, so that we can experience that third initiation, or stage of our lives in as positive way as possible. Hormones can influence the way we feel, and this can mean we feel depressed, suffer mood swings, tearfulness, brain fog, a reduction in confidence, become easily irritable, we lose our sense of joy at the drop of a hat, lose touch with ourselves, forget things easily, lose the ability to concentrate – often so much so that we end up feeling forced to make changes to life and work that perhaps we might not have made otherwise. The 3 step awareness that Becky talks about in the acronym “NOW” is something you can find more about on her website: NOTICE WHAT IS GOING ON OPENNESS TO OUR SENSES WRAP YOURSELF IN SELF COMPASSION And whilst we are talking about this in Menopause awareness month, this is something that effects all of us, both women, and the men in our lives so please share this episode with your friends and loved ones as there is so much brilliant advice and knowledge in here. Finally these are the links to all the different things Becky and I refer to during the episode: t /episode/index/show/insidemywardrobe/id/16473812

078 Knowing & Navigating the Symptoms of Menopause with Diane Danzebrink 10/15/2020

078 Knowing & Navigating the Symptoms of Menopause with Diane Danzebrink Our hormones have for many years been subjected to shameful jibes however, they are immensely powerful and the driving force behind so much of who we are, hence the title of this episode. The thing is, they also change as we transition into the next phase of our lives around our mid/late 40s and when they begin to change, we can find the impact on our emotional, mental and physical health to be a huge shock to the system if we aren't informed about what to expect. If we can understand what’s going on, and manage the change with support, the next phase of life has the opportunity to be even more fulfilling and wonderful. The trouble is, we often switch off to its inevitability and think that its nothing to worry about until the hot flushes start which couldn’t be further from the truth! Just like achy joints, osteoporosis, brittle bones, and forgetfulness are NOT just an inevitable sign of ageing, they are all connected to hormone change which we can do so much about when we actually understand what is going on within our body. It actually starts in your early 40s so it’s important to know what to look out for, hot flushes are much further down the line so in this episode we literally list the lot! The trouble is, until recently, none of this has been talked about, menopause has been laden with shame, guilt and misunderstanding. The symptoms are way beyond what we have always thought and so when you know what to look out for, you are far more likely to be able to navigate this next phase of your life successfully and that’s what we are talking about in this episode, the symptoms to be looking out for. Davina McCall was on Loose Women the other day and said how awful the menopause had been for her because she never knew, because no one had ever told her what to expect – and that is the case for nearly everyone …until now, partly thanks to my guest this week, Diane Danzebrink who has been central to this becoming a national conversation and raising an army of women who have said enough is enough, this needs to be understood and addressed properly. Diane even took the conversation right into the houses of parliament and lobbied for change, successfully - she is a hero! As women, we often pride ourselves on getting on with things and that’s all very well but in “just getting on with it” we are actually denying ourselves of the support that we could really benefit from, but even worse, we are allowing the stigma to continue because we are stigmatising it ourselves by saying that we SHOULD just get on with it. So, we can either arm ourselves with information, or we can exacerbate the issue. We have had to cover up and keep quiet about this significant functional change in our bodies for generations, for the longest time women were just seen as the child bearers and once they were done bearing and raising children, they should be put out to graze and quietly fade away – a disgraceful concept today. The life expectancy for women used to be mid 50 but now there’s an entire life to be had beyond our biologically productive years, we have much more life ahead of us but it can be dramatically effected by hormone deficiency when the body begins to change if we aren't supported correctly. In this episode, I am joined by Diane Danzebrink, founder of the menopause support campaign and the driving force behind the #makemenopausematter movement to talk about what to look out for and the list is quite a lot to swallow – Anxiety Low moods Depressed Mood swings Tearfulness Brain fog Reduced confidence Irritability Loss of joy Poor memory Poor concentration Difficulty sleeping Fatigue Increased headaches Heart palpitations Hot flushes Night sweats Painful or aching muscles and joints Changes to periods Vaginal or vulval symptoms Urinary symptoms Loss of libido Dry skin Dry eyes Changes to oral health Changes to your hair Weight gain Feeling dizzy or feint Changes to hearing – some people hear buzzing and ringing, tinnitus type symptoms Restless legs Changes to body odour Increase in allergies if you had them before Changes to digestion – gut and bowel health The list is quite a shock to the system when you realise the effect that hormone change can have on our bodies but as you will hear Diane say, the more we talk about it, the more we normalise it. So please share and post away, use #makemenopausematter and please sign the petition because it is vital that education is increased particularly for GPs. If you’ve not yet heard episode 72, a beginners guide to the menopause and HRT with Dr Zoe Hodson, she talked about how GPs are barely trained AT ALL on the menopause or HRT and that is often why so many women are stranded with their symptoms, just feeling like their life and body is falling apart, when actually so much of what they’re going through is manageable – remember our hormones are amazing things, they are NOTHING to be ashamed of, they are PART of being a woman and ESSENTIAL to life – it’s crazy that we’ve had to suffer in silence for so long, and for many, it really is suffering, for years. Please don’t let that be you, and please let’s not let our children have to go through the same to improve the education of our GPS and if you would like to find out more, here is the link to Also if you’ve not listened to Episode 72, here’s the link to my chat with Dr Zoe Hodson “A Beginners Guide to Menopause and HRT” and remember to subscribe so you don’t miss next week’s episode on managing mental health during this very important part of our lives. Please feel free to join in on the Facebook group page called and come and find me on /episode/index/show/insidemywardrobe/id/16384739

077 Stop Pleasing Start Living 3/4 10/08/2020

077 Stop Pleasing Start Living 3/4 In part 3 of our people pleasing series we discuss the importance of boundaries and saying no. Having solid boundaries is fundamental to not being a people pleaser and the cornerstone to good mental health. You don't need permission to like what you like neither do you need to justify yourself. Boundaries are the lines that define who we are and what matters to us and people will take what you give to them so be sure you're wanting to give what's being taken - if you're feeling burned out and running on empty, sure as eggs is your boundary lines need firming up! So, with World Mental Health day in a couple of days time I thought today was the perfect time to share with you something that was the absolute turning point for me back in my 20s and became the key to growth, healing and most importantly finding and becoming myself – which is a vital starting point for positive mental health, starting with permission to say no! In Part 1 of the series, we talked about getting to know yourself (episode 73) and in part 2, we talked about getting to like yourself (episode 74) so in this one, we talk about standing up for yourself and protecting your mental, emotional and physical space. So why do we people please? we learned somewhere along the lines that we have to our self worth is based in what we can do for others, rather than in who we are we are uncomfortable with conflict and will do anything to avoid discomfort we have not figured out our boundaries How often do you find yourself run ragged because you’re doing so much for everyone else? Staying late at work when everyone else clocks off before you? Going the extra mile and wondering why others around you don’t and then expect you to keep giving and giving? We all need healthy boundaries which essentially are the limits and rules that we set for ourselves that ringfence our wellbeing. They are the lines that say, I stop here, I need to say no, I don’t want that, thank you very much. They aren’t meant to be rigid or inflexible, they are meant to be there so that you can first and foremost always have enough to give, but also so that people know exactly where you stand and where you draw your line. Once you start to get your head around healthy boundaries, you feel as though you have so much more control over your own life – now let’s face it, as we have really seen in 2020, in many ways, control is just an illusion but in those instances, where we don’t have control over what happens, we have complete control over how we respond and react to what happens next. So, in a dating situation, having a healthy boundary can mean physical touch, saying no, giving consent, but also freedom to say I don’t like that movie – rather than just always going with the flow and being complacent, the same in friendships. When we run parenting workshops, we talk about, boundaries being like a fence around a field. A child that has no fence around a field runs wild and has no ownership of their space because they can’t see where it starts and finishes, often they will feel lost and without a sense of self, but then a child with a very small sheep pen sized fence around them will feel hugely suffocated and restrained which will often cause them to need to break free and run in the wild spaces – but a field with a boundary line, a fence that says this is where we belong and a gate that says however we can come and go, be flexible at certain times, is always the healthiest way to raise a child. (episode 28 boundaries and parenting) In the same vein, if we have tight rigid boundaries as adults, we say no to everything and go nowhere, we miss out on so much as we keep everyone and everything at a distance, but if we have no boundaries, we have difficulty saying no to people, we quickly feel abused, used, and as though no one cares for us – a good alarm bell of not having healthy boundaries is if you find yourself wondering why it’s always you putting in the effort, or doing the running around – you’re putting yourself in that position because you aren’t respecting your own boundaries (episode 13, uncluttered – boundaries within the home) Another one to look out for is if we struggle making decisions without someone else’s agreement – needing a second opinion because you don’t trust your own – when we are dependent on other people’s opinions in order to make our own decisions, you can be pretty sure that it’s based in the arena of people pleasing – we have a need for permission from others because we haven’t defined our own likes and dislikes, yes’s and no’s. It is so important to remember, it’s ok to say no!! – episode 36 is dedicated to that, sorry not sorry, saying no. It might be that you fear being judged or rejected, or left out or left behind if you don’t comply with others – it could be opinion at work, in the book club – I remember when I first read A Passage To India nearly 30 years ago – I was mortified at the attitude of the British, wanting to make a British pathway around the world, I thought it was hugely arrogant and yet all the arguments at the time, were very pro colonialism still – these days that has changed hugely – I’m glad to say – but to feel your own responses according to your values and then standing by those things, is crucial to knowing who you are and others knowing who you are too – we don’t need to agree, that’s not the point – we do all need to respect each other’s opinions though rather than just going along with the crowd – and even more importantly in this day and age – The Social Dilemma on Netflix showed how easy it is to be swept up with conspiracy theories and be manipulated with information so we really need to be responsible as to where we source our information from Over giving, over sharing, over serving, over sacrificing is something, particularly as women who naturally fall into that nurture and protect mode, can be susceptible to. We put ourselves in danger of being used, unappreciated and run ragged – for example, rather than losing it with your partner or your children “I’m not running on batteries, I can’t do everything, why don’t you understand” which puts it all on THEM, set a boundary line “I won’t be able to do that AND that so you’ll need to choose one” or just say no - saying no does not make you a bad person! Healthy boundaries means that there is a balance, we value our own opinions and aren’t phased by disagreeing with someone else, it’s not personal, we don’t judge, we respect their opinion as much as we respect our own. It works 2 ways, other people can like things that we don’t like, and that’s ok. We then become able to accept when someone else says no to us too, it’s a 2 way street. When you value your own boundaries, you value everyone else’s too. It’s also having the ability to reach out and share when it is appropriate as opposed to just painting the walls with how you feel all the time no matter who is in the conversation – boundaries are there to protect us, at every level. Setting boundaries will give you so much more freedom. When you know your boundaries, it is far less likely that you’ll do something you’re not comfortable with and at the same time you’re far more likely to do more of what you’re happy about! It’s all about knowing your needs and setting up life around you so that your needs are met – otherwise how are you ever going to feel ok? Emotional boundaries – protecting your feelings and not wearing your heart on your sleeve for everyone to see. Material boundaries – how you use your phone, how quickly you respond to emails and messages – phone etiquette can be immensely intrusive of personal space and you just need to dig your heels in and say no to those responses. Time and energy boundaries – doing things for others, giving yourself permission to say no Mental boundaries – freedom to have your own thoughts an opinions, your own beliefs, values – it’s ok to disagree Physical boundaries – touch is obvious – please don’t touch me – or step back and make it clear but also comments “I don’t find comments like that funny or appropriate” “I think you’ll find I’m far from stupid” Sometimes setting a boundary can feel incredibly foreign when you’re used to being there for everyone all the time and sacrificing all your needs, so again, like getting to know yourself in part 1 and getting to like yourself in part 2, this takes time and practise – Brene Brown says “daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others” – and that’s why having boundaries is fundamental to not being a people pleaser and a cornerstone to good mental health because you are ring fencing your needs and ensuring that you are equally respected, loved and looked after – you cannot expect anyone else to do it for you, if you don’t first do it for yourself. People will take what you give them and if you give them a never ending source of yes I can do that or yes I will stay late or you choose I don’t mind, they will take that – so start giving yourself the permission to matter and you will find, particularly if you struggled with liking yourself in the last part of this, you will find that you start people pleasing less, giving yourself space to find your own definition of who you are and slowly you will feel that by taking control, you’ll start to have control Episode 32 How to love myself Episode 36 Sorry Not Sorry part 3 Please feel free to join our and come and find me, Pipa Gordon on /episode/index/show/insidemywardrobe/id/16322432

076 How To Eat And Be Happy 10/01/2020

076 How To Eat And Be Happy This week we talk about recognising the patterns that potentially lead to, or already point to an eating disorder which is a complex mental illness, often misunderstood because of media portrayal. Anyone, can develop one, no matter their age, gender, or background. There is no single cause and people might not even have all of the symptoms for any one eating disorder. Earlier this week we saw Freddie Flintoff’s documentary about his 20 year battle with bulimia in which he began to lift the lid on some of his personal battles (25% of people who suffer with an eating disorder are male) and of course anorexia is the other more well known eating disorder and yet, the causes and symptoms are still so misunderstood by the majority. Obesity is something we hear and know about and yet we rarely hear about the risk of eating disorders which are so closely associated. 1 person dies every 62 minutes as a direct result of an eating disorder – and it’s getting worse. We all need to be more aware of the patterns so well done Freddie for being brave enough to start talking about this so publically, it wouldn't have been easy as a big part of an eating disorder is the secrecy and shame. So symptoms range from purging, to restricting, to over exercising, using pills and laxatives, dieting – there are many behavioural patterns around all of these things and so during this episode we talk with psychotherapist and eating disorder specialist Michelle Scott from . We cover: Diets Trauma How we use our body to regulate emotions Anxiety How the Corona virus lockdown and pandemic has increased anxiety levels and caused potential harm to eating habits or a relapse for some in negative eating patterns Personality types and how they effect our ability to manage emotions Managing trigger foods As parents, what to watch out for in our children The fact that it doesn’t start being about image It effects people through all ages and stages in life Thank you to Sally Jane who shared some of her struggles on the Inside My Wardrobe facebook group page and allowed us to discuss them further in this episode. The Caitlin Moran book I believe is already available on Kindle but not yet out in hardback – More Than A Woman is the national charity for eating disorders which has heaps of great resources and of course, please get in touch with Michelle at if you would like any further support or more resources and interviews. All my links are on my website and please if you have a moment, do share this episode with anyone you think it might be helpful to. Copyright 2020 Pipa Gordon /episode/index/show/insidemywardrobe/id/16231214

075 Ways To Find Yourself 09/24/2020

075 Ways To Find Yourself Following on with the theme of people pleasing and discovering who we are so that we can have the courage to be our true selves, today’s episode is brimming with ways for you to peel back the layers and release the real you who has been slowly disappearing behind the layers of life that often result in us losing touch with ourselves and what matters to us most. It’s not mid-life crisis, it’s a wonderful time of enlightenment that can be hugely liberating if we are brave enough to go on the journey. Gayle Johnson talks with me during this episode about how writing, as an an act of mindfulness can enable us to condense our worries and anxieties in a powerful way that helps us manage our mental health and day to day lives, be it the requirements of our general hectic lifestyles or something such as depression and anxiety. Reflective and personal writing is equally as powerful during good positive times as much as it is during the more negative and stressful periods of our lives too. It can help with clarity in so many forms, using lists, mind maps, prompts and jumping off points all of which are devices that can trigger the creative mind and access our deeper feelings. The power of writing a letter that you know you’re never going to send is another fantastic way of releasing emotion and resentment and accessing some tricky feelings that ordinarily we might not know how best to process. It’s all very well saying things don’t matter however too an overly positive attitude, toxic positivity, doesn’t do us any favours. We need to learn to accept and be with the things that have happened in life, get understanding and then move forwards – as Anna sang in Frozen 2, what’s the next best thing? The world offers so much to our imagination but as Anthony Robbins says: “You will get there in 10 years, but where is there?” There is so much we can do in life, but it doesn’t mean we can do it all, we need to exercise deliberate consciousness by intentionally and deliberately choosing our next steps. On a scientific note, there is also a neurological pathway between your hand and your brain, so taking pen to paper as an exercise is very helpful not only in accessing emotions and feelings, but also in creative problem solving. We talk about stream of consciousness, lists and mindmaps, writing letters and even using devices such as the Haiku, a form of Japanese poetry that forces us to simplify and consolidate. Writing can be a really helpful way to increase self-awareness, help to identify personal values, the decision making process, why we do what we do, recognise limiting beliefs and negative narrative that we replay to ourselves over and over etc. I hope you enjoy this podcast and are inspired to use the skills of self-work that will enable you to go deeper. Do feel free to reach out to Gayle, I know she will love to hear from you. Her website is here, and you can also find her Facebook group called Finally, remember to sign up for the 2021 news on my website and join in with our Facebook group page COPYRIGHT 2020 PIPA GORDON /episode/index/show/insidemywardrobe/id/16139264

074 Stop Pleasing and Start Living 2/4 09/17/2020

073 Stop Pleasing and Start Living Part I 09/10/2020

072 A Beginners Guide To The Menopause and HRT 07/30/2020

072 A Beginners Guide To The Menopause and HRT What is the menopause? When does it start? When does it finish? Is HRT as dangerous as they once said or is it true that the majority of the information was misinformation? We go right back to basics in this episode with Dr Zoe Hodson, GP and menopause specialist who works with Dr Louise Newson on training GPs in how to recognise, diagnose and treat the menopause and more importantly, the peri-menopause which takes up a huge chunk of our lives impacted dramatically by hormone deficiency. I have a feeling we will revisit this topic again but this episode is jam packed with information and advice on where to go and what to do – and why we have been so poorly informed until now …. Other resources: – browse through this site for podcasts with Dr Louise Newson and many experts plus other resources – is the psychologist Dr Zoe referred to, she is on Instagram as @menopausepsychologist and her website is she is well worth checking in to for retreats too Dr Sarah Molly Ball, is the one delving into the WHI study @drsarahmollyball on Instagram and also #makemenopausematter on her other website Then Dr Zoe talked about the new Balance App to track your symptoms which you can The UTI Doctor – Dr Catriona Anderson can be found Books Dr Zoe mentioned were: Me and My Menopausal Vagina by Jane Lewis Why Oestrogen Matters: Why Taking Hormones in Menopause Can Improve Weomen’s Well-Being and Lengthen Their Lives without Raising the Risk of Breas Cancer by Avrum Bluming and Carol Tavris to find out more about your bone health Edinburgh University There is heaps on the You can download the cancer genetics app from Guys and St Thomas And not forgetting, to join in with Dr Zoe Hodson’s community and blog called which you can also find on Instagram Phew! There’s a lot to keep you going there ….we will do more 😊 If you want to come and find me, I am Pipa Gordon on social media or you can visit Enjoy :) /episode/index/show/insidemywardrobe/id/15337382

071 I May Destroy Me 07/23/2020

070 Healthy Selfish with Mandy Saligari 07/16/2020

069 Lower Your Drawbridge 07/09/2020

068 The Beauty of Hindsight and Elephants 07/02/2020

068 The Beauty of Hindsight and Elephants Yay us, we have survived 100 days of lockdown!! But if it takes between 18 to 254 days for a person to form a new habit we are in danger of slipping back into our old ways unless we consciously make the effort now to pinpoint those changes and commit to them. So I decided to come up with a checklist to hold myself accountable and remind myself, hence the title, that this year has truly given us the gift of hindsight and we don’t want to forget what we have learned. They say elephants have amazing memories like humans, they mourn their dead – they literally have funerals, they bury them with branches and leaves, they have an incredibly advanced emotional memory as is their ability to problem solve. I don’t want to forget what I have gained from this pandemic which has brought so much trauma and devastation to many lives. Like a war, there is a cost and we remember those who gave their lives – in a similar vein, people have lost their lives to Covid whilst others have had the chance to improve their lives, in so many ways it has been grossly unfair and so rather than wanting everything to go back to normal – which in so many ways can’t happen but at the same time, will happen unless we put the effort in to learn from what we have experienced. Life has continued to be busy for me, but I have been massively impacted by the change in pace and vibe around me – I have been really fortunate as we have all been free from illness so I’ve been really lucky to enjoy the benefits that I’ve been able to draw from this time - its felt peaceful in so many ways. So, I have used the word PEACE as an acronym to remind me of the ways I have benefitted from slowing down and I intend to use it so that I can continue to embrace peace in my life, rather than become super busy again: P – PAUSE – just stop, read, listen to music, lie down and look at the sky. Even 3 minutes here and there in the day makes a huge difference E – ENGAGE with the moment. Listen, hear, talk, stop rushing to the next thing A – ADMIRE the world around you. Seeing the good around you, admire means “to feel respect and approval” so whether that’s family members, colleagues, friends, your home etc. I’ve been admiring trees and flowers like never before and it does something internally when we see good – like the law of attraction, you find what you are looking for. C – CREATE – you may not feel artsy, but I believe we are all creative in some way and there is something about being in touch with our creativity that gives a sense of wellbeing and fulfilment. Elizabeth Gilbert’s BIG MAGIC is a great book to encourage this, whether it’s baking, painting, sewing, writing, redecorating ….find your inner creative! E – EMBRACE – love on each other, cherish those who matter, spend time together, connect with our community – walking, talking, board games, sending letters, making gifts, sharing tomato plants and tray bakes – giving of ourselves to each other rather than closing our doors at the end of the day – an Englishman’s house is his castle – actually (metaphorically) keeping our bridges down and our doors open to one another And like the elephants, their leader is normally the oldest in the pack. They live up to 60/70 years and they pass on their wisdom – we can glean wisdom from those who have been here before Socrates 400BC Greek Philosopher “Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” “He is richest who is content with the least, for contentment is the wealth of nature.” Plato: 400BC “The greatest wealth is to live content with little.” SENECA “True happiness is… to enjoy the present without anxious dependence on the future.” I heard something this week, a quote from the wonderful Wayne Dyer who I was very lucky to work with on a number of occasions whilst he was still alive. I always loved his wisdom as it was so simple, outside of religious constraints and beyond ancient scripts, he just made a lot of sense to me. One of the things I remember him saying was that when you squeeze an orange, you get orange juice, and when you squeeze a lime, you get lime juice ….and when we are squeezed by the inevitabilities of life, what is on the inside is what oozes out from us. We have heard that hard times bring out the best and the worst in us ….we have seen both haven’t we? We are not just body and mind, we are body, mind and soul/spirit, depending on which you choose to call it. It’s easy to focus on the body first, it’s what we see. We understand about physical health, physical surroundings and physical environment that affects how we feel. We are slowly getting our heads around mental health, as the pressure of life has become more intense over the years with the onset of working 24/7 and technology, we’ve begun to realise the importance of maintaining our health at that level too. Then there’s the other bit, the bit we don’t tend to like to talk about as much because it can then tip into the territory of religion and let’s face it, not everyone has had positive experiences there – however, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t another part of us, there’s this spiritual side that also warrants care and I definitely think that is something we have all become more in touch with during this pandemic – if only just by going for more walks and slowing down a bit, we’ve allowed ourselves to discover this deeper connection with what I call our spirit self, not our physical body, not our mind, something deeper that connects with something bigger – when we slow down and uncomplicate our lives, we find we are able to get in touch with that other part of us that so often gets neglected. The Year of less – how I stopped shopping, gave away my belongings and discovered life is worth more than anything you can buy in a store – by Cait Flanders 12 months – only bought groceries, toiletries and petrol – alng the way she challenged herself to consume less of many other things besides shopping, she decluttered her home, got rid of 70% of her belongings, learned how to fix things rather than throw them away, researched the zero waste movement and even completed a television ban – at every stage she learned that the less she consumed, the more fulfilled she felt. I think we have all touched on this over the last 100 days – but the question is, what lessons have we learned and what are we prepared to continue to work on? Enjoy x Links And as always, come and find me and stay in touch, either via or by searching for Pipa Gordon on Social Media Back next Thursday! /episode/index/show/insidemywardrobe/id/15059525

067 There's More Than One Way with Bibi Lynch 06/25/2020

067 There's More Than One Way with Bibi Lynch Being single, childless, navigating online dating, face yoga, threesomes, fear of another recession, losing parents and dealing with grief alone – we go everywhere and believe it or not, manage to laugh our way through a chunk of it! So This episode comes off the back of one of your suggestions earlier in the year about living an alternative life, not getting married or having children – so I invited an old friend and colleague of mine, journalist Bibi Lynch on as she regularly writes about this in magazines and newspapers …. We actually cover a huge amount of ground, she talks about how the recession in 2008 wrecked her life, the early loss of parents, how she’s not had the chance to have children, she's had abusive neighbours, a real 10 year slog …and then the pandemic hits and how you deal with all these things when you’re on your own – we talk a lot about being single and how society still doesn’t make space for the 25% of women who will never have children, we talk about online dating, face yoga, we talk about the concerns of what life is going to look on the other side of all this and we somehow find ourselves talking about sex and threesomes too … Journalist Bibi Lynch has been called one of the funniest women on twitter, she’s often controversial and never fails to make you think. We first met when working together at BBC London Radio just over 10 years ago, she currently hosts 2 radio shows, one for Soho Radio and the other for BBC Sussex, she also hosts a podcast called Good Sex Bad Sex, she writes for the likes of The Telegraph, The Guardian and Stella, over the years has been columnist to various magazines such as Marie Claire and Elle, she’s co-wrote various TV shows, hosts monthly panels at The Groucho Club – she’s unstoppable! The importance of being kind to each other isn’t just a notion, it’s a necessity – we don’t know what is going on in each other’s lives, we don’t know what wounds are being carried or battles are being played out I think we’ve seen with the “black lives matter” movement, even with “me too” a couple of years ago, that it’s easy to turn and look the other way when we feel uncomfortable or that we don’t understand but I really hope that we are learning that when we do that, we increase the pain being suffered and if we can be brave enough to allow one another’s pain to come into the light, it might just get the chance to heal so that they can move on One of the things that I really hope for our new normal, is that we begin to make way for each other more, where we become better at listening, where we become more open to hear and slower to judge. Links: Bibi on Twitter and Instagram: @bibilynch Join the page Come and find me on social media or via /episode/index/show/insidemywardrobe/id/14962661

066 Everything Is On The Menu with Natalie Roy 06/18/2020

066 Everything Is On The Menu with Natalie Roy Finding ourselves, properly discovering who we are, deep beneath the surface is the very beginning of an awakening to life so much fuller than we may have ever imagined. In fact I imagine this will be one of those episodes that we revisit and listen to again and again as it’s a treasure trove of much wisdom. To hear more from Natalie, to try her meditations or classes, you can visit or you can listen to her podcast called In a nutshell, we hear a LOT of thought provoking things in this episode, we talk about the impact of life before lockdown and why we often felt so empty and unfulfilled and how if we are willing to, we can learn to expand into ourselves so that we can feel more deeply, listen to and connect with our instincts and that inner voice more regularly, Natalie talks about how to truly find ourselves so that we can BE ourselves, there’s so much in here that I know you’ll love! is a Canadian actress and brings such a rich conversation to this episode. I invited her on last year after hearing her speak on our emotional anatomy and instantly knew she was someone we would enjoy hearing more from. We had talked about doing something around last Christmas but it didn’t pan out which looking back, I’m really glad about as I think the timing is so much better now as I think we are all that much more open to discover or at least consider that deeper connection within ourselves with the hopes of finding peace from within, because calming the storm on the inside is surely the only way to survive the storm on the outside – and boy does it feel like we are in the midst of one at the moment! So Natalie is an actress who lives in New York, you might recognise her from Law and Order, The Affair or Finding Erica, she’s an author, a fellow podcaster and most importantly is someone who embraces all aspects of what it means to be human – she’s a teacher of yoga and meditation and has some fantastic insight into what it means to be human, we cover a lot of ground from the spiritual to the practical, to how to go about creating our new normal to be one that serves us well, understanding why we meditate and that 3 minutes really is enough, we touch on the quantum realm, holding loss and fear at the same time as growth and opportunity – there is so much ahead and I really hope that you enjoy listening. If you’d like to check out some of those meditations or courses that Natalie spoke about, go to and don't forget the podcast I think a great take away from this is being curious about the evidence we are collecting and I’d love to hear how that impacts how you feel going forwards so please do reach out to Natalie and also do continue with conversations on our . My or you can find me on social media by searching for Pipa Gordon. Thank you for listening /episode/index/show/insidemywardrobe/id/14874842