Crash Courses in Communication with Alex Perry

This podcast answers some of life’s most challenging and awkward communication questions. We cover everything from how to diffuse jerks, to asking for a raise, how to start a conversation at a networking event, and even what to do if your nose starts running in the middle of a presentation. When you listen, you’ll learn how to handle conversations with ease. These episodes are based on real questions I get from my clients every day and are filled with practical tips you can start using immediately. And, I’ve kept these episodes short, so you get just what you need, when you need it, without having to listen through long, drawn-out interviews. Listen, whether you’re talking at work, home, or just hanging out with your friends there isn’t an aspect of your life that isn’t impacted by your communication, so why not be the absolute best you can be? Your words matter and it’s time to take your talking next level. Are you ready?

Best Practices for Visuals 12/28/2023

Engaging Your Audience 12/14/2023

Crafting a Compelling Story: Business vs. Interpersonal 11/30/2023

Understanding Your Audience 11/16/2023

Presenting Made Simple: Conversational Mindset versus Delivery Mindset 11/02/2023

How Do We Become the Best? 08/25/2023

How to be More Assertive at Work 07/27/2023

Are You Using Aggressive Communication? 07/13/2023

What is Aggressive Communication and Why Does it Matter? 06/29/2023

How to Overcome Challenges with Passive Communication Style 06/15/2023

What is Passive Communication and Why Does it Matter? 06/01/2023

How to Respond to Passive Aggressiveness 05/18/2023

Passive Aggressive Much? 04/25/2023

How to Say No to Requests for Your Time 03/30/2023

How Do You Repeat Yourself Without Sounding Repetitive? 03/16/2023

How Do You Repeat Yourself Without Sounding Repetitive? Repetition gets a bad rap, because, in many instances, we don’t want to insult someone because it can come off as sounding condescending. And or we don’t want to repeat ourselves for fear that we will be boring or annoying. These are completely valid feelings. We’ve suffered at the hands of boring, condescending, and annoying people. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. Understanding why, when and how to use repetition will help both you and your audience move the learning process along faster. Let’s start with when we use repetition. We use repetition when we want others to remember what we say. We want to use repetition frequently when we’re leading and teaching, especially in the early stages, when we’re trying to help someone master new concepts or skills. Why is repetition so effective? Because it helps reinforce new info, making it more memorable. Remembering, storing information in short term memory, is key to learning. If we can’t remember it, we didn’t learn it. So, if you want people to remember what you said, you’re going to have to get comfy with repetition. Here's how it works in our brains…when we repeat, we are reinforcing the neural pathways in our brains responsible for that information. Over time, these neural pathways become stronger and more efficient, just like if you walked a new path repeatedly, making it easier for use to recall. Ok now that we know why repetition is so important, let’s talk about how we can repeat without sounding boring, annoying, or condescending. 1.) Use synonyms. Synonyms are words that mean the same (or close to the same thing). For example, instead of saying “very good” you could say “excellent or “outstanding”. 2.) Change your sentence structure. This will add contrast and keep your listeners listening. For example, “changing your sentence structure adds contrast while you’re repeating information” and “In order to sound less repetitive, change your sentence structure!” 3.) Use transition phrases. These are phrases that connect one thought to the next. For example… “in addition to”, “on the other hand”, “however” 4.) Use anecdotes, analogies, and metaphors. Anecdotes are short stories that relate to your topic, real examples that enhance meaning. Analogies compare to similar things… “toxic workplace is like a dysfunctional family.”, Metaphors are a type of analogy that make a comparison where there may not be one at it’s up to the listener to formulate one “e.g. boil the ocean” or “time is money.” So, there you have it. We use repetition when we want others to remember what we say and when we’re teaching new concepts or skills. Why is it so effective? Because it helps us remember. How do we avoid sounding boring, annoying, or condescending? By using synonyms, changing our sentences, using transition phrases and anecdotes, analogies, and metaphors. This episode was edited and produced by Jenn Edds, the head broad in charge at the Sign up for my weekly newsletter . Connect with me on LinkedIn Instagram Schedule a time to talk with me . /episode/index/show/pswithalex/id/26192826

Resiliency Revisited 02/23/2023

Lies Revisited: Answering a Listener Question 02/09/2023

How to Handle a Complainer 01/26/2023

Listen 01/12/2023

Listen When someone comes to you with a problem, do you listen with the intent to help, or do you want to fix it? There's a difference. You are not a vending machine for answers, no matter how good that might feel to you. I want you to flip the situation and think about being the person who needs to be heard. Have you ever needed someone to listen and not fix? I have a colleague I enjoy talking with as long as we aren't discussing a problem I'm having. When I come to her with a problem, she wants to 'fix' it for me. At least, that's how I perceive it. Let me give you a few examples: If I say... "I'm not sure what I should do about xyz.", her first response is, "Well, I think you should..." followed by a list of to-dos.If I say, "I'm feeling icky about this problem.", she'll chime in with a story about how she had a similar problem with a similar feeling and how she handled it. If I'm struggling with a mistake and I need to process it, she'll immediately find the silver lining and tell me why I should focus on that instead of my feelings. Her responses leave me feeling, at best, unheard and, at worst like she's trying to one-up me with her struggles. Do you know someone like this? The truth is, I've been both the person with the problem and the non-helpful colleague. Providing solutions, sharing a story, or finding a silver lining can be helpful...sometimes. But often, what people need most is someone to listen and let them figure out what comes next. Listening with the intent to help means not offering unwanted advice, affirming vs. one-upping, or acknowledging hard feelings instead of painting a silver lining around a turd. There's a difference between listening to help and listening to fix. Be a helper, not a fixer. If you found today’s Crash Course helpful, please share it with your colleague. If you want more content and resources for communication, make sure to sign up for the email newsletter at pswithalex.com. If you’d like to learn more about using communication as your competitive advantage, schedule a time to talk with me here. Until next time, take care and keep talking! Sign up for my weekly newsletter . Connect with me on LinkedIn Instagram /episode/index/show/pswithalex/id/25549290

Words Shape Success 12/22/2022

How to Take a Compliment 12/08/2022

Make Better Decisions and Build Resiliency 11/24/2022

Make Better Decisions and Build Resiliency Today we’re talking about a question that will help you make better decisions and build resiliency. I’m guessing you're a bit like me, I think. You're interested in personal development, on a perpetual quest to be better, and love to learn. Am I right? You might also be like me in that you've run up against a lot of challenges in your life. Life hasn't always gone your way. You haven't gotten everything you've wanted, or maybe, you've been tested beyond what you thought you could handle. You've had to be resilient, even when you didn't want to be. Maybe you need to be resilient right now. This week I watched , and it's the inspiration for this podcast. I won't share all the secrets. But because you enjoy communication content, I'll share with you the question she asks herself to boost her resiliency, and it's this... "Will this help or hurt me?" Its simplicity is brilliant and drives right to the heart of where we need to go when making decisions. I don't know about you, but I find it too easy sometimes to make decisions on autopilot, like putting off a call or a project, because the reward of doing something else may be immediate. Sometimes it's easy to dwell on what's past instead of moving forward because moving forward means accepting that I can't change what's happened. But when I ask myself, "Will this help or hurt me?" it creates much-needed space for better decision-making. When you ask yourself and answer honestly, the right decision becomes clear. Resilient leaders make decisions that help themselves and others. Remember that as you decide your way through today. If you found today’s Crash Course helpful, please share it with your colleagues and friends and hit the subscribe button so you don’t miss an episode. If you want more content and resources for communication, make sure to sign up for the email newsletter at pswithalex.com where you’ll get weekly communication resources delivered right to your inbox. Sign up for my weekly newsletter . Connect with me on LinkedIn Instagram /episode/index/show/pswithalex/id/24972582

Turn Average Into Excellent 11/10/2022

How to Reach Your Full Potential 10/27/2022

How to Reach Your Full Potential I don’t know who originally said this, but hell is getting to the end of your life and meeting the person you could've become. Think about that for a moment. I think about how much I don’t want to get to the end of my days and wonder, did I do everything I could to become the person I wanted to be? Is it just me, or do you feel the same way? Have you been doing everything you can to become the person you want to be? Are you seeking your highest and greatest potential? Does the world know who you are and what you stand for? One of my clients, Brad, shared with me his story of owning his potential and speaking up for what he believes in. Brad was the third speaker in a line of speakers talking about the Agriculture industry. If you talk with Brad for more than a minute, you'll know just how passionate he is about Agriculture. As he was listening to the other speakers, he realized that the presentation he'd been working on didn't fit with what was being said. He could hear the differences in his message and knew that what he had to say was contrary to popular opinion. He said, "I knew that I had a rare opportunity to talk with an audience I may never get in front of again, and I had to take it." And so, he took it. Brad stood on stage in front of hundreds of people and shared a message representing his knowledge and values, even though it wasn't a popular opinion. He shared knowing he might be subject to rejection, criticism, and maybe even ridicule. How did the audience react? With great appreciation, thanks, and loads of positivity. Brad didn't know that it would happen, but he saw his opportunity to share his message and took it. You cannot reach your highest potential if you cannot speak about what matters to you. You cannot help others if you don't share your message, knowledge, and skills. Reaching your full potential can’t happen until you’re able to describe what your potential is. You have to be able to speak it into existence. We know that we’re more likely to reach our goals if we share them with others. We know that if we can’t say what we need or want, we won’t be able to get it. And yet, even when we know, we hold back sometimes, don’t we? We’re a little or maybe a lot afraid. I know that I am. But here’s the thing, if we don’t find a way to say it, the end of our road will come and we’ll have missed our chance. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather speak my potential with a shaking, quivering, weak little voice than not to speak it all. I know that once I’ve spoken, I can speak again, again and again, strengthening my message and my voice. If you want to reach your full potential, you must start talking about what your potential is. You must talk about who you are, what you bring to the table, how you help and serve others. When you get to the end of your road, will you be able to say, "I did everything possible to reach my highest and best self." or will you find yourself saying "I'm so sorry." to the person you could've become if you'd been brave enough to try. If you found today’s Crash Course helpful, please share it with your colleagues and friends and if you’ve got a question you’d like for me to answer here on the show, email me at LinkedIn Instagram /episode/index/show/pswithalex/id/24759390

The Lies We Tell Ourselves: It's Better if I Don't Say Anything 10/13/2022

The Lies We Tell Ourselves: It's Better if I Don't Say Anything "It's better not to say anything." Man, oh man, does this lie keep us from some important conversations. Before we dive into why we tell ourselves (or others) this lie let's make sure it’s really a lie before we start huh? When you find yourself thinking, “It’s better not to say anything.” it’s a good idea to ask yourself, is this true? I love the question “Is it or is this true?” because it forces you to stop and think. When you’re weighing options on whether to speak up, it’s important to think through the consequences. There will be times when it is better not to say something. Perhaps when you’re allowing an employee or report to tackle a problem on their own. You may see a quicker solution than what they’ve come up with however, they need autonomy and opportunity to learn independently, not have a problem solved for them. And there will be times when it’s critical that you say something. When a project is about to go over budget, a critical error is going to be made that will impact delivery of service to your customers or when you see inappropriate behavior at work (bullying, harassment, discrimination). It’s critical to speak at times like these, however, sometimes we convince ourselves it’s not. Here comes the lie “It’s better not to say anything.” Why do we accept this lie from ourselves? Here are a few reasons… It could be because we’re scared, and we don’t feel safe to share. Sometimes that’s true and sometimes it’s not. Maybe we’re afraid to speak up because we’re afraid we’ll get labeled as a naysayer, troublemaker, or someone who is negative or, possibly worse, is that we’re afraid if we speak up, maybe we’ve learned if we speak up, nothing happens. There are loads more reasons I’m sure, but these are a few of the big ones that come to mind. So what do we do? How do we push against the lie “It’s better if I don’t say anything?” We ask ourselves what’s the cost of not speaking up. What’s the cost to the company, what’s the cost to other people but most importantly what is it costing us? Are you losing your peace of mind? Are you going against your values? Are willing to sacrifice your integrity by silently condoning actions you don’t agree with? It's not easy to speak your mind when it feels risky; however, I ask you to consider what the long-term consequences will be if you don’t. Lack of communication is a serious problem in the workplace today. Employees report overwhelmingly that they don’t receive timely, accurate, or even honest communication from their employers. We’re wasting time, resources and eroding trust. We can’t control what others do, but we determine our actions, and our actions determine our character. The next time you find yourself saying, “It’s better if I don’t say anything," ask yourself if that’s really true. If you’ve got a question, you’d like for me to answer here on the show, write me a note in the comment section or email me at Sign up for my weekly newsletter . Connect with me on LinkedIn Instagram /episode/index/show/pswithalex/id/24402078

The Lies We Tell Our Selves: I Do All the Work and They Get All the Credit 09/29/2022

The Lies We Tell Our Selves: I Do All the Work and They Get All the Credit The lie that gets uttered across workplaces across the world "I do all the work, and they get all the credit." It seems like a simple, clear-cut statement on the surface; someone else is getting credit for my work and I’m mad about it. But is it true? Are you really doing all the work and getting none of the credit? What are you really saying when you say “I do all the work and they get all the credit.” In some cases, it some cases, it’s true. Your work was stolen. Your idea was taken from someone else who used it as their own; the group project you were working on wasn’t really done by a group; it was done by you. But here’s where “I do all the work, and they get all the credit.” gets sticky and tricky (brace yourself for a hard thing to hear delivered with love) Sometimes, I dare say many times when I hear someone complaining of not getting credit for the work, it’s not because they didn’t step up and claim the credit for their work. They allowed someone else to get credit for what they did. Think about that for a moment. We get upset because someone else is getting credit for work we did (maybe they helped and maybe they didn’t), and we’re upset because others didn’t take notice of our contribution. We make things worse for ourselves, by thinking that others should “just know” that we did our part. Ew. Ouch. I feel this one in my gut. We want the people who are important to us to notice our work, and sometimes they don't. And people aren’t mind readers, they make mistakes. People are busy, distracted, and often doing work that contributes to ours somehow; therefore, they claim their part. Thus, getting the credit. If we want credit for our work, we need to speak up and claim it. It's simple, but not easy. The next time you're in a spot where someone is getting credit, and you deserve some too, speak up. Acknowledge your accomplishments so that others can do the same. If you’ve got a question you’d like for me to answer here on the show, write me a note in the comment section or email me at Sign up for my weekly newsletter . Connect with me on LinkedIn Instagram /episode/index/show/pswithalex/id/24402024

Is it Ever OK to Ramble? 09/15/2022

Is it Ever OK to Ramble? Today we are tackling the question…is it ever OK to ramble? OK, now I can't get the out of my head. Thanks, Allman Brothers. I mean, it's a different kind of rambling. But still. Have you ever talked and realized that you're going on and on without making a point? And then said something like, "Oh, sorry, I'm rambling?" You're not alone (ask my hubs; he's heard me do this so many times). It's pretty common for folks to ask me how to stop rambling. Getting to your point quickly is important in business, and I'm a fan. However, "rambling" is such a common occurrence that it got me thinking... "Is it ever OK to ramble?" I can now heartily respond...YES! Yes, it's OK to 'ramble.' That's because, chances are, you're not really rambling. Ramble doesn't mean what you think it means. Let's look at some definitions. Ramble, in general terms, means Are you confused when you're talking? Probably not, or at least I hope not. Taking too long? That's super subjective; context matters. Medically speaking, rambling means Do you have acute brain disease? Probably not. Here's the deal: what you're calling rambling probably isn't rambling; it's (aka talking through your ideas out loud). Some people talk through their ideas, and some people think through ideas before sharing them out loud ( Is it wrong to externally process? No. Is internal processing better than external? Also no. They're different. And that's OK. Chances are, when you've caught yourself 'rambling,' you're not rambling (confused or brain-injured). You're working through your thoughts out loud. There's no need to apologize for that. If you're worried that you've gone on too long, take a break and ask the person/people who are listening if they're still with you and/or if they'd like to add something. So keep on talking, free from the fear of rambling. There are so many people that need to hear what you have to say. Until next time know that I’m rooting for you from the #frontrow. Sign up for my weekly newsletter . Connect with me on LinkedIn Instagram /episode/index/show/pswithalex/id/24109203

How to Ask for What You Want 09/01/2022

How to Ask for What You Want Asking is awkward. We stumble around our words or avoid asking because sometimes it seems easier to do without. There are times when I say to myself... "I don't really need help; I can handle this on my own." Then I work twice as hard while being mad about doing it all myself. Or when I want to have a conversation with someone I perceive as having more power than me, I don't ask because I think, "I'll be bothering them." I miss the opportunity to connect and learn. Or sometimes it's as simple as wanting my hubby to take out the trash but not asking because "He's just supposed to know that's what I want." Can you relate? Asking can be challenging because it makes us feel vulnerable. It's a hit to the ego, reminding us that we don't know everything, and we need other people to help. Ouch. The good news is that you can get better at asking and get more of what you want. I'll walk through my process. 1. Determine what you want. Seriously, this is the first step. Do yourself and the other person/people a favor by first figuring out what you need/want. 2. Determine the best person to ask. In business, this is the person with decision-making power. If you don't know who has the power, ask around first. You'll save yourself time and frustration. 3. Choose the appropriate time and channel. This is key if you're making a big ask, e.g., a raise, funding for a project, approval for a new hire; you want to do that face to face or voice to voice at a time that makes sense for the other person. Save email, text, and other messaging apps for simple requests. 4. Make the ask. Muster up your courage and get right to it. Lead with what you need/want. Be ready for questions and let go of the outcome. Sometimes no means not yet. I can't guarantee you that you'll get what you want if you follow these steps. I can guarantee that the more you practice, the better you'll get. Give these and try and let me know how they work for you. I'm rooting for you. Sign up for my weekly newsletter . Connect with me on LinkedIn Instagram /episode/index/show/pswithalex/id/24109143

The Lies We Tell Ourselves - It's Easier if I Do it Myself 08/18/2022

The Lies We Tell Ourselves - It's Easier if I Do it Myself I thought it was time to do a little series, and I'm excited to talk with you about the lies we tell at work because we lie, ya know? Now there are all kinds of lies that we tell, but I think some of the most tragic lies we tell are the ones we tell ourselves. It's often these lies that keep us from communicating effectively with each other. They keep us from having conversations that would make our work (and lives) easier in the long run. The first line I'm tackling is; "It's easier if I just do it myself." Ohhhhhh, it's a good one. I know how to do XYZ best, I've been doing it longer, I can do it better, etc., etc. If they do it and screw up, it will take more work to fix in the long run. Oh, sure, it may seem easier to do it yourself, and maybe you do save time in the long run. But are you telling yourself the truth? When you say, "It's easier to do it myself," are you saying... I don't trust those around me to do the job right. Ouch. If you find yourself saying, "It's easier if I just do it myself." Stop before going further and ask if that's true. Really true. Sure, it might save you time in the short run, but what's it costing you long term? Are you creating dependents when you want others to be independent? Are you stifling someone else's growth and development because you don't want to spend the time teaching them? Is this a pride issue for you? Do you think that just because you do something well that others can't, or even worse, they might be able to do it better than you? Are you crushing team creativity because you believe a leader needs to know "everything?". What does it say to your team, colleagues, and leaders when you are unwilling or unable to ask for or let someone else help? These are tough questions that I can't answer for you. Only you can. I can tell you what I've learned for myself and from coaching others. And that's when I say, "It's easier to do it myself." What I mean is I'm not willing to trust someone else to do the work or take the time to teach someone else to do the work, or I'm afraid to let someone else fail on my watch because it might reflect poorly on me. These are hard truths, and it's important to talk about them because we don't get better when we tell ourselves lies. We get better when we recognize that we're willing to let go, willing to teach, and willing to fail; we gain so much more than when we try to do it all on our own. That's it for today. Thank you for listening! If you found today's Crash Course helpful, please share it with your colleagues and friends and hit the subscribe button so you don't miss an episode. It's great talking with you. Keep going strong, my friend; remember that I'm always your front-row fan. Sign up for my weekly newsletter . Connect with me on LinkedIn Instagram /episode/index/show/pswithalex/id/23793359

Should I Use Notes? 08/04/2022

Should I Use Notes? Today we’re talking about whether you should use notes when you present. The struggle is real. If you’ve presented, you’ve probably wondered how is it OK to use notes? Am I going to look like a dork if I use notes? Will people think I don’t know what I’m talking about if I use notes? Or have you ever tried to use notes only to find yourself lost in the jumble of your own incoherent writing? Maybe you’ve watched someone else use notes and thought they did a terrible job. I hear you, and I’ve had so many of the same thoughts. Asking yourself about using notes is a good idea. And there isn't a one-size-fits-all answer; you're not a robot. Not all presentations are created equally, and context matters. So a better question to ask is, "Do I need to use notes?" I object to the word "should" as it's often associated with shame, and lord knows presenting can be stressful enough that we don't need to add shaming ourselves to the mix. Using notes isn't good or bad; it's context-dependent, and it's up to you to determine whether or not to use them. You may need to use notes because you're: -new to the content you're delivering -anxious and having notes makes you feel better -covering a lot of material over a long period of time and memorization isn't possible You may not need to use notes because: -you've mastered the content and flow of the presentation -you memorized for a specific purpose (e.g., a TEDx talk) -you've practiced enough to deliver without them I see folks who underestimate and overestimate their ability to speak without notes, and both types of speakers suffer for it. So what's my final answer on notes? It's better to be over-prepared than under-prepared. Practice enough that you feel comfortable enough to make it through with little to no use of your notes but have them at the ready just in case you get off track. Sign up for my weekly newsletter . Connect with me on LinkedIn Instagram /episode/index/show/pswithalex/id/23793281

Crash Courses in Communication with Alex Perry

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