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What does it mean to meet the needs of foster care in Savannah? 05/12/2021

What does it mean to meet the needs of foster care in Savannah? Tersh Blissett talks with Whitney Gilliard of Gilliard & Company about how we, as small business owners, can help shine a light on the Youth who live in foster care! Today's episode provides a behind-the-scenes look at how emotional Tersh gets when it comes to helping those who can not always help themselves. This is a rare occurrence where you get to see the sensitive side of the main in the suite! A little about Gilliard & Company - This is Their Story! "Whitney entered congregate care at the age of 14 and wasn't taken in by a foster home until age 17. Through the turbulence of life, Whitney found her purpose in advocating for foster youth who feel they've had no voice. Whitney's story consists of traveling to 18 placements with a trash bag of her belongings, over-prescription of psychotropic drugs, and the fight for dignity while she was in the system. The name, "G&Co", came to be after Whitney survived a life-changing car accident, while in foster care, that left her with a traumatic brain injury, a broken spine, and a broken leg. During her recovery Whitney's, only, means of mobility was by wheelchair. As healing felt impossible, Maurice understood, he has witnessed his mother's overcoming. Maurice's mother was also a youth battling the hardships of foster care in Germany. Compelled to remind Whitney that there is hope in her recovery. Daily, Maurice would remind Whitney of all that she has been through, and would always say "I know this is frustrating for you, however this time you are not alone - you'll always have company". From then on, their journey kicked off. Through the birth of their son, Aemon, they became devoted to stopping the cycle of abuse and abandonment, not only for their child but for others as well. Whitney is an advocate for fostering and adopting and during her events Maurice is right beside her delivering hard facts about the truth of the American Foster Care system. Together their goal is to remind others and lead by example on how small acts of companionship can result in life-changing resilience. G&Co means never giving up on each other. G&Co means being there for those who are afraid. G&Co means meeting the needs of each other, together." Resources Learn more about Whitney & her team by visiting below: Donate DO YOUR PART BY HOSTING AN ONLINE FUNDRAISER! Charity starts at home! Learn more about Tersh & Service Emperor HVAC & Refrigeration below: Connect on social media @tershblissett Closing thoughts for Tersh... Foster care is NOT an adoption agency!! We must work together to serve prevention and preservation of families!! Transcription: Meeting the Needs of Foster Care is Meeting the Needs of Humanity! Whitney Gilliard.mp3 Tersh Blissett: [00:00:02] the Hello, everyone, out there in podcast world. I hope you're having a wonderful day. You were listening to or watching the Shop Small SAV Podcast. I'm your host, Tersh Blissett. Today we have Whitney here. Whitney, she is with Gilliard & Company and we've met. I mean, we know each other very well, but we met a couple of times here and there and then buy local lunch, you know, just networking in general. We do a ton of networking together. And one of the biggest things that are it just stands out is abundantly clear. Any time Whitney in the interview room is how much she cares about others. And today I really am excited to talk to her about just that, where it came from, a little bit about that, a little bit about what it is that Gilliard & Company does and is and how it makes up just an integral part of Savannah and Georgia and Southeast and just make a massive impact. And they're one of those organizations that doesn't get enough recognition, which I'm glad that we're here and we can get recognition, but definitely is one of those things where you don't really think about. So my goal with this show is to just bring attention to those businesses in and around Savannah that really make a massive impact. And with that being said, welcome to the show, Whitney. Whitney Gilliard: [00:01:46] Thank you so much for having me. I'm super excited about this. When our team met you, I was like, that's the guy with the orange and the like. What it was like with the orange, you know, like with the Service Emperor, all the best of the orange have the orange like that guy. And they thought I was a little wild at first. I was like, but no, I'm so excited. So when our relations manager, Patricia Perry, she's amazing at getting us connected and she landed that I was really excited. I really was there. Yeah. Yeah. Tersh Blissett: [00:02:16] So I'm excited for everyone that is watching this or listening to this to learn more about you and why you created this organization. Whitney Gilliard: [00:02:29] Ok, so I'm reporting back for anyone reporting back to the system, for those who follow me, obviously It's I share all the time about what life was like in the system. And then I try to highlight as much as possible what life is like outside of the system because I used to be a ward of the state and I was that I was one of the states at the very critical times that even currently right now the state is currently trying to kind of understand, which is that adolescent phase. I came into the foster system at 14 and then I left at aged out at twenty-one. So one of the best things I was ever said to me by a staff member in a group home when I was sad when I was mad, was this pain is going to be used for one day, and wow. And I, and I did it and I think that was the best. I don't know. But we will find out the answer. And so here I am reporting back to these facts and, you know, trying to just trying to make the pain useful. Tersh Blissett: [00:03:29] Yeah, that's really that's powerful. I mean, that's extremely powerful in the fact that you remember that that obviously made a huge impact on your life. And what I want the audience and listening audience and the viewership to really to understand and take in and embrace is you're so involved in the day to day of this business and making an impact, not just a business, but just impacting the lives of these adolescents that you may hear a little bit of background noise and that's perfectly fine for them. That is just massive lives being impacted in just amazing ways. And the things that they're learning are things that I could pull. I never learned. I mean, obviously, my parents taught me some of it after I was 16 or 18. But, you know, it's not stuff that I ever learned in school or anything like that. So, I mean, kudos to you for teaching that as well. You know, Whitney Gilliard: [00:04:31] I wanted to I think you asked earlier about, like, what exactly it is that your company does. And I think I forgot that I really like doing this. I remember. But we are a nonprofit organization here and in the heart of Savannah, Georgia, and we provide housing for youth aging out of the foster care system for 18, 19, 20, 21 days. But that's a little bit forgotten. They are not forgotten through us. Tersh Blissett: [00:05:01] Yeah, it's very common. So when you think of one when I think of foster care, adoption in that type of thing, most common, I'm thinking of babies or toddlers or maybe preteens, possibly early teenagers. But when you think about eighteen to twenty-one, that's like, wow, like when I was 18 it was, you know, I'm not normal. I bought my first house when I was eighteen, but it was very much like my parents really helped out. They supported me and they You've had a question. I had somebody to go back and ask questions to and lean on. And I can imagine someone who had not gone through an adoption process and there at the eighteen to twenty-one-year-old range by then, I guess you're probably out of high school. Are they in college or what? Can you tell me how that works or I mean, I'm ignorant to the whole situation, so I don't know. Whitney Gilliard: [00:06:13] But I was so glad that you're highlighting this issue. Do you know how long it has been that foster care is one of the most hush-hush topics of the nation? Tersh one, when I think about foster care, when I think about the child welfare system, you know, what's the one topic among all politics and everything that I see an entire community go to bat for? Doesn't matter what color, suddenly color and race and gender, all that stuff doesn't matter is when there is a heinous crime towards children, suddenly everybody jumps and says, I don't stand for this. And we collectively as a whole, as a nation will not stand for this. Right. And so I think one of the reasons why my own personal theory, one of the reasons why foster care is not talked about is because, unfortunately, just just as the fault in our stars, our nation has not done a really good job of taking care of our children and our children end up lingering in the system. So this is one of the most, I would say, one of America's most shameful improvements that we must work on. But it when I say America, it's all of us. Each and every one of us has a responsibility. And yes, when children enter the system. So the one thing that so long as everybody in my circle knows me and now that you know me, for those who are watching, we do not use the word, foster kids. Whitney Gilliard: [00:07:29] Use the word youth in care or youth from foster care or child from the system person before foster care. OK, the word foster kid has been used so many times to marginalize and to put a label on on the inabilities or abilities, truncating that for for for young for young adults. And it's not right. So, so so what we're going to talk about is not about foster kids, but youth in the system. And when children enter the system, they typically do enter. Babies come in quite often. And when they do what one of the reasons why this is still very bad across the board It's it's just a very devastating tragedy. Children who come into the system on average experience a minimum of two traumatic events in their life. No. One is the event that got them under the radar of these facts and CPS and number two are actually coming into the system. Coming into foster care is an actual trauma. The instance that the instant that they walk into the double doors of defects or the first time they're in the arms of a caretaker that is not biologically their own, it is a traumatic event. And so that so but babies and little ones that are a little bit peaky to our six or seven, they get adopted and reunified home sooner. However, it is the ones that are more like 15 and up actually starting at seven, and they're the ones that linger in the longest. Whitney Gilliard: [00:09:00] So why is it that babies come in more? But however, why is it that there's that you see more adolescents and there is a difference between who gets chosen first? Babies and younger ones get adopted first. You know, there is a waiting line and Chatham County to adopt and foster babies. No, no, there's a waitlist. You can wait up to a year to two years. Everybody calls in the line. And I have had it. I have had it here at Guiliano Company. I have had phone calls asking for babies as we have them in inventory. But the thing about it is older kids, the ones that were like me. And I'm telling you when I say I'm reporting back, I am actively reporting back. I was one of those kids that were labeled mentally unstable, emotionally unstable. I did. I mean, it was my life that was insane. And you would never imagine the things that I have done. And but we were the ones that were forgotten, completely forgotten, because despite at some point, we just stopped being cute, right? At some point, we stopped being cute to society. Society doesn't see us as cute anymore. But I can tell you, out of all the young adults that I've worked with and even the adolescents that I work with, they're all babies at heart. And if you can meet them where they're at, it is really easy to work with them. Tersh Blissett: [00:10:17] That's crazy. Like, it just kind of blows me away because, like, I love my kids to death. But, man, if I could just skip the the the toddlers and the terrible twos and the diapers and man if I could just have them where they could wipe their own behind and fix her like that's like amazing sounding to me. Whitney Gilliard: [00:10:44] Like our teenagers are great because here's the thing, right. Like our our our young adults are teenagers and they're they're amazing and they're amazing in the regards that they have made me truly become a better person. Listen, Tersh, I went into this war thinking I have a good heart, I'm patient, I'm kind. I can know they will teach you this lady. You're not that patient. You are not a lot more grace. And you need to learn about forgiveness. And I was like, woo, I can learn the stuff. But that that is that that's you get that through friendships, right. And you get that through friendship. Tersh Blissett: [00:11:17] That's, that is crazy. So like how do we other than obviously podcast and stuff like that, what, how do we bring more awareness to this, and is there something that we can do. I mean I'd love to see I have thought, I'm the worst person to go and talk with you about this because I'm like, just give them all to me, like, I'll take them all. Whitney Gilliard: [00:11:44] And so I have that proposal one time I have ever one time they're or like, we don't have enough. Yeah. So that's why we created a nonprofit. Well for helping this way. So here's the thing. Ray Tersh. I'm so excited to be in your program because you are very well respected in your community. And for all the business owners who are watching, you guys have something that the average person won't have and you would think they have, but they don't. And that is a platform with a voice. And then and on top of that, your voice matters, your voice matters, and people will listen to you. And I am asking everybody who is watching this to kind of stand alongside me. So one of the biggest things that I want to bring awareness for is that charity starts at home. Charity absolutely starts. Go home and I want everyone to know that foster care is right in your own backyards, children and families who are under the radar of defense and CPS go to the same hospital as you. They go to the same grocery store as you. They are right behind you. After you get gas in their cars pulling up, they go to the same park, and more intimately, they are around your children. These children who are in the system are around your children and your children befriend them. Whitney Gilliard: [00:12:57] And the biggest thing that I really want our community to understand is so Agugliaro company. We don't just support youth aging out the system Ray. We also kind of we also support families who are at risk. Our holiday seasons are is about to come on. So hopefully Tersh you and I can talk more about that. But we actually help families that are in the Prevention and Preservation Unit, which means keeping children at home and preventing them from going into the system. You know, when I think about how people judge families who really don't know better, I almost want to give this analogy right. When a veteran who's been in war comes home and their wife is pregnant and just came home with a baby, do you know how that baby cry can trigger veterans? The veterans get triggered on child-rearing. They do. They get triggered on child-rearing. They get triggered on being compassionate and a little and emotional towards little ones just because not the same. They're not great parents. They ask are it is just it is triggering because of the sound. Children in foster care and those who've experienced the system have two times the trauma and then those people end up becoming parents. I became a mom at 19 years old and I was still in the system. Whitney Gilliard: [00:14:15] I cannot tell you how. Terrified I was when I looked into this bassinet and there's this baby and I'm looking at this baby, this baby's looking at me and I'm like, taking home. And you have to come home with me and me. But the deeper root, a part of it is this is a perpetuating cycle, and a lot of times people don't know any better. One of the training that I had to do and becoming a human service professional was there is a picture of ducklings that were walking on the like on the New York sewer line. And one of the ducklings fell into the sewer and people were like, oh, and the instructor goes, why don't you give that same compassion for your neighbor? Who may not know any better? Because at some point, Tersh, we suddenly forget that it is not. It is by the grace of God. There go I right. We know better. But if you've had a family history of abuse and trauma and neglect, you are raised with that as your tool. That is your tool. You have no other tool around you and you can try to emulate what other people do. You can try to mask that. You could try it at the end of the day behind closed doors. Whitney Gilliard: [00:15:25] Those are true actual struggles. So long story short, I would like for us to focus and come back to the humility of being a community and understanding that when you see a family and struggle, lean in and offer assistance and take the judgment away, because that's actually what that leads to someone picking up the phone to call CPS. But most of the time right here, the Account. that I have, the statistics I promised you, I was going to bring statistics, 91 reports of neglect here in Chatham County. And this is just based out of twenty-twenty, which is fairly recent. Ninety-one calls on average a week. You get ninety-one a week. That's right. It can average up to ninety-one. And people call and they say, hey there's, there's this mom is doing X, Y and Z this depth. But what they find out the most is poverty is not a crime. Having a lot of children is not a crime, it is not a crime. But what becomes a crime is when resources are given and you are unwilling to because you don't want to. Right. And if you are actively hurting a child, then that is a crime. But not knowing any better is not a crime. It is not a crime. Tersh Blissett: [00:16:38] So what I'm hearing is rather than actively calling out to reach out and help them, is that what you're saying here? Whitney Gilliard: [00:16:50] Yes. So here's the thing. Come you mentioned earlier, like, we don't get enough recognition, which is why for me, which is fine, and it's so cool that we did. But we're the underdogs. We are the underdogs. We really are because we do the dirty, gritty work. We do the dirty, gritty work and foster care for anybody who's interested in doing this with us. You are going to die to yourself every single day and you will not you will encounter the love of Christ closer than than than that most average thing that you'll do when it comes to caring and loving for children who have been forgotten and neglected. Tersh Blissett: [00:17:21] So is it true is so a lot of what I have to go off of is like a Hollywood depiction of the quote-unquote youth in care? And it's typically not a pretty picture. Is that the case or is it? I mean, because I feel like it's been dramatized by Hollywood for ratings, but I don't know. I can't tell you. I don't have experience with that. So it's I mean, are we getting the if I say we were like, hey, yeah. I mean, I'd love to take in someone who's 14, 15, 16 years or 18 years old. Help them out. Like, what should we expect, like and then also I get this impression that it's very demanding to become foster parents or family because of almost more so like I've I've heard people say this and joke about this, like it's easier and less strict to have a child than it is to foster and adopt a child. It's more like you have to adhere to more regulations.... /episode/index/show/tersh/id/19170965