We Could Have Been Astronauts

Two practical strangers on the launch pad to nowhere, discussing culture, that thing you did last summer, and shame spirals.

Hateful and Angry 07/06/2023

Hateful and Angry The Astronauts get a little boozy. Alex serves out more positive life advice while railing on loud music blasting from cars. Melissa listens and learns and offers lodging for Floridian Expats. /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/27388230

Obligatory Hello 05/24/2023

Obligatory Hello The Astronauts change their names. Melissa starts a new app, and Alex gives the listeners an air quality check. Join the Astronaut on their We Could Have Been Astronauts Facebook Group. We don’t post much and when we do….it’s crap. /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/26937339

Alex The American 04/30/2023

Alex The American The Astronauts chat about Chat GPT. Alex goes on a listener shout out rampage and Melissa still backs up her Neil Diamond fandom. Remember to join the Astronauts on their ill managed Facebook Group, We Could Have Been Astronauts, and tell us the worst thing you’ve ever smelled. /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/26695356

Foucs On The Anomaly 04/16/2023

Foucs On The Anomaly The Astronauts try to pronounce the name of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s Tequila. Melissa begs Alex to watch Ghostbusters, while ABish finally nails a coherent analogy /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/26555106

How Many ESPNs 03/14/2023

How Many ESPNs The Astronauts finally weigh in on the Super Bowl Half Time Show (we know, you've been waiting). Alex has sleep troubles and Melissa gets felt up @ a farm show. /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/26232870

How Many ESPNs 02/27/2023

How Many ESPNs The Astronauts review the Super Bowl Halftime Show 2 weeks late. Alex has night terrors and Melissa recounts the last time she got a good ass slapping. Join the Astronauts on that Face Space @ We Could Have Been Astronauts FB Group. We are in terrible need of friends /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/26066574

Astro Extra 02/27/2023

Astro Extra /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/26066373

Not Today Either 02/19/2023

Not Today Either Surprise, the Astronauts are back! Melissa feels very much like a Tombstone pizza while Alex sort of embraces his Guatemalan Heritage. Feel free to join us on the We Could Have Been Astronauts Facebook Group (It’s the only social media we can figure out). /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/25978098

Past, Present, Future 10/11/2022

Past, Present, Future The Astronauts are available for all your advertising needs. Melissa survives the COVIDS and Alex gets a Tarot reading. /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/24647766

Breakfast BLT 08/21/2022

Breakfast BLT The Astronauts discuss bagels and the masterful food workers who serve them. Alex eulogizes himself as his liver takes a leave and Melissa looks into unorthodox healthcare providers. /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/24124428

Hurray For Me 08/03/2022

Hurray For Me The Astronauts have a lot going on in this episode from surfing to militias. Melissa can now do all the drugs and Alex assures the olds that it’s ok to not understand TikTok Influencers. /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/23942211

Cheeze-It All 07/19/2022

Cheeze-It All The Astronauts talk guns in America. Alex lets us know his insecurities and Melissa isn’t sure she would die for a Cheeze-It. /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/23782919

Celebrity Storage 07/05/2022

Celebrity Storage The Astronauts talk real estate in people heads. Melissa is called out by a man in a Home Goods parking lot, and Alex talks of his time in the Celebrity Gossip scene. /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/23640857

Level of Bunny 06/21/2022

Level of Bunny The Astronauts discuss Flemish giant Rabbit ownership. Melissa adheres to strict old person stroll etiquette and Alex gives ideas on how to survive a mass shooting. /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/23490371

Meatballs & Martinis 05/24/2022

Meatballs & Martinis The Astronauts talk about the heavy shit of the day with a bit of laughter and naughty language. Also, Melissa takes her shenanigans to Atlantic City and Alex has a lot to say that is “interesting”. /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/23218499

Cracker Karen 05/18/2022

Cracker Karen ASTRO EXTRAS: Melissa misses a historical nip slip while Alex faces his mortality thanks to shellfish. /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/23157284

Big Horn Guy 05/02/2022

Big Horn Guy The Astronauts are back after Melissa finally starts to edit shows again. Alex insists on talking about “The Slap”, and Melissa worries that Alex won’t be able to carry out her final wished due to his health issues. /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/22985222

Kind Of Fight Club 04/14/2022

Kind Of Fight Club The Astronauts show their love for Dick Butkus & Mike Ditka . Melissa gets into an altercation and Alex doesn’t know if Charles Martin is his friend or stalker. /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/22800677

Racist Babies 03/31/2022

Racist Babies The Astronauts talk about the illusive critical race theory. Melissa has a plan to take out Putin if she has to and Alex has more breaking news complete with hot takes from Stanley McGregor. Oh and of course they have to talk about the NFL's QB Shuffle. /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/22643273

I Love Ron Martin 03/22/2022

I Love Ron Martin The Astronauts are still in awe of World War 3. Melissa looks up shirtless Putin photos and Alex has questionable run-ins with a local celebrity. /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/22537484

War Talk 03/10/2022

War Talk The Astronauts talk WW3. Alex reports breaking news and directs us to the best badass Ukrainian videos. Melissa then asks Alex to grant her a dying wish and he quickly turns her down. Need more Astronauts fun? Join us on our We Could Have Been Astronauts Facebook Group. We need friends during this turbulent time. /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/22410389

Old People Pity 03/06/2022

Old People Pity The Astronauts both ignore possible dead people in cars. Melissa shares her favorite after surgery treat and Alex feels like he is now a cat person. /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/22354502

#Team Barabbas 02/15/2022

#Team Barabbas The Astronauts have the worst Super Bowl predictions. Melissa just has to see Michael Jackson’s belly button and Alex starts another new religion based upon a little known biblical figure. /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/22132892

BINGO 02/07/2022

BINGO The Astronauts want their own national month of recognition. Melissa dips into the shady world of Adult Bingo and Alex wonders if he’s allowed to think 18 year old girls are pretty. /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/22056374

Ladies With Babies 01/29/2022

Ladies With Babies The Astronauts investigate NFL QB’s Girlfriends. Melissa learns not to drink urine to cure the common COVID and Alex gives out amazing tips to land a job. /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/21939431

Tooth Worms 01/25/2022

Tooth Worms The Astronauts talk dentist etiquette and toothbrush colors. Melissa may not be as German as she thought and Alex comes in hot with advice that maybe shouldn’t be followed. /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/21889178

22 & Me 01/13/2022

22 & Me The Astronauts want you to let your lamp light shine on their Facebook Page. Melissa makes more resolutions that may or may not include murdering Dace Russell and Alex gives us a peak into how he would handle the I-95 pileup. Also, shout out to our sole listener in Hesse Germany. /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/21770480

Attainable Goals 01/08/2022

Attainable Goals The Astronauts pour a 40 for Betty. Alex finds the most shocking story on Reddit, while Melissa starts the year off with a good cry over a questionable sports figure. /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/21713693

DayQuil Vs NyQuil 12/30/2021

DayQuil Vs NyQuil The Astronauts decide to take all of their health care advice from Terry Bradshaw. Melissa is still waiting to be embraced by the Lamp Lovers Community and Alex has a problem with the ‘TH” at the end of the word Meth. /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/21637763

Official Lamp Lovers 12/20/2021

Official Lamp Lovers The Astronauts continue a Christmas Tradition. Alex phones in from the Netherlands and Melissa finds a new group of people who share her passion. Merry Holidays Everyone! /episode/index/show/wecouldhavebeenastronauts/id/21553505

We Could Have Been Astronauts

TOPICS